Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

[E5 Yaz]

While I agree with the sentiment, particularly when it comes to his self-regard, this football note stuck out:
 
7. I think if I were the Buffalo Bills, this is exactly what I’d do: Hire Mike Shanahan. Keep Jim Schwartz with an extension and a raise. And trade for Jay Cutler. Shanahan is the one who found and drafted Cutler and got him going on the right foot in Denver in 2006.
 
Are there enough mirrors in Buffalo to accommodate Shanahan, Schwartz and Cutler? And Shanahan didn't "find" Cutler. He was being talked about for weeks leading up to the draft. Shanahan drafted him, but it certainly wasn't out of obscurity

 

[joe dokes]

King just bores me now.  I don't read him any more.  Maybe I'll get the energy back up again someday, but it didn't happen with Simmons (who I find even more grating, honestly).

I think King becomes especially difficult to read when I've actually seen all the games that were played over the weekend.
 
nevertheless.....
 

Lions-Cowboys climaxed.
 .......
Chris Christie to join Jerry Jones and Stephen Jones in a pulsating three-way . . . .

Eeewwwww.
 
 

Made Cowboy-holic LeBron James tweet with 10 exclamation points to a player I’m sure he’d barely heard of before the game, young pass-rusher DeMarcus Lawrence.
 

So James is either a cowboy-holic or he isn't?
 

NFC: No. 3 Dallas (13-4) at No. 2 Green Bay (12-4), 1:05 p.m., FOX. I love the fact that this game happens at High Noon (Central Time) in Wisconsin
 

Like every one of Green Bay's early Sunday home games.
 

3. Green Bay (12-4). This stat cannot get too much play this week: Dallas (8-0 on road, only unbeaten road team in the NFL) at Green Bay (8-0 at home, only unbeaten home team in the NFC). Is it possible that the best game in the entire postseason will be this divisional game at high noon Central time on Sunday?
 

In case you missed that time.
 

And called penalties (not accepted penalties, but all flags) are up two per game over last year, which is significant:
 

 
It is? Two called penalties per game?
 
 

I’d never had one of the coolest-named beers—Eliot Ness Amber Lager—until Friday night, and I’ll be back for it again. A darker amber lager, Eliot Ness (and I had no idea why an amber lager is called “Eliot Ness Amber Lager,” until I read the label, which informed me that Ness, famous for trying to enforce Prohibition in Chicago after the Great Depression, was the former Cleveland Safety Director who loved the pub that became Great Lakes Brewing) is tasty and wintry.
 

 
"Tasty AND wintry." Yummm.

 

[GeorgeCostanza]

I thwarted a pickpocket Friday. The guy was trying to pick my pocket near the corner of 52nd and Madison in Manhattan.

Peter King, crime stopper! Pray tell Peter, how did you thwart this menace to society? Did your bulbous torso deflect the movements of your malicious mugger? Also, please tell us where you live so we can avoid such a robbery. I'm uncertain since you too humble and self aware to constantly tell us.

 

[JohntheBaptist]

Almost literally anyone else and the "...in Manhattan" stuff would strike me as being obvious trolling/ joke. It's like a little kid who gets their first watch and is constantly thinking up new reasons to check it or tell everyone around them what time it is. It has blown past comical and into full-on fucking bizarre.

 

[ifmanis5]

Can only guess what's in Pete's pockets... An extra Evo Shield, "gift" from Favre, Goodell's secret phone number and a mini bottle of Pepto.
 
I barely read Simmons NFL picks columns these days. I usually skim it and give up in the middle somewhere like I was taking a math exam. Not worth the effort.

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

A darker amber lager, Eliot Ness (and I had no idea why an amber lager is called “Eliot Ness Amber Lager,” until I read the label, which informed me that Ness, famous for trying to enforce Prohibition in Chicago after the Great Depression, was the former Cleveland Safety Director who loved the pub that became Great Lakes Brewing) is tasty and wintry.
 

 
This sentence is giving me a headache. Did he not know that Eliot Ness was a probie or that he was the Cleveland Safety Director or that Ness enjoyed pounding beers at his neighborhood pub?

 

[Granite Sox]

Peter King, crime stopper! Pray tell Peter, how did you thwart this menace to society? Did your bulbous torso deflect the movements of your malicious mugger? Also, please tell us where you live so we can avoid such a robbery. I'm uncertain since you too humble and self aware to constantly tell us.

 
He didn't actually stop anything.  The pickpocket reached for an empty pocket, and King exclaimed, "Hey!" as the guy ran across the street (this was in Midtown Manhattan, natch).
 
Just more foreshadowing as he thought to himself... "who are some of the great lawmen in history besides me... I know!... Eliot Ness!  Boy, all this crimestopping is making me thirsty.  I think I shall have a tasty and wintry lager named after Eliot from a local (not really) brewery when I get to Pittsburgh."
 
:barf:

 

[pappymojo]

Why do I continue to read Peter King?

I no longer continue to read Peter King.

 

[dynomite]

I actually didn't mind his breakdown of the Cowboys/Lions game today, and you guys nailed all the rest of the inanity.

I also found myself chuckling at this line;

Amazing to think, really, that Manning might have to beat the man who succeeded him, Luck, and the man with whom he’s linked in history, Tom Brady, to get back to another Super Bowl.

Is it really "amazing"? Fitting, maybe. Appropriate, fine. It's definitely notable. But amazing?

The Colts, Broncos, and Patriots were all overwhelming favorites to win their Divisons this season, just as they did last season. Just about everyone predicted that they would meet in some combination in the playoffs. So... how is that amazing?

 

[Reverend]

 

I actually didn't mind his breakdown of the Cowboys/Lions game today, and you guys nailed all the rest of the inanity.

 
Well, since there was only one game on at a time, he probably actually watched the fucking games this weekend rather than relying on the Red Zone channel and box scores--which, as Joe Dokes implies, is a huge problem with King during the regular season.
 
 

Is it really "amazing"? Fitting, maybe. Appropriate, fine. It's definitely notable. But amazing?

The Colts, Broncos, and Patriots were all overwhelming favorites to win their Divisons this season, just as they did last season. Just about everyone predicted that they would meet in some combination in the playoffs. So... how is that amazing?

 
Amazingly, playoff quarterback has to face other good players--including good quarterbacks--to advance in playoffs.
 

 

[Mystic Merlin]

Look, he watches the Sunday games in the NBC Viewing Room in Manhattan with noted NFL greats.

 

[E5 Yaz]

Look, he watches the Sunday games in the NBC Viewing Room in Manhattan with noted NFL greats.

 
... and Tony Dungy

 

[Marciano490]

Can't link it but his idiotic attempt to snark at Hakeem Nicks is hilarious.

 

[Corsi]

@SI_PeterKing
Way to go out of bounds, Hakeem Nicks. That football intelligence is sure to increase your value in free-agency.
3:51 PM - 4 Jan 2015
 

 

With 5:12 left in the fourth quarter of Indy's wild-card game against Cincinnati, with the Colts up 26-10 and trying to run out the clock, Nicks did, in fact, go out of bounds after a 10-yard catch. But per NFL rules, the clock continued to tick away.
 
With the exception of the last two minutes of the first half and the last five minutes of the second half, the game clock will be restarted following a kickoff return, a player going out of bounds on a play from scrimmage, or after declined penalties when appropriate on the referee’s signal.
 

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/yahoo-sports-minute/peter-king-directs-snarky-tweet-at-colts-wr-hakeem-nicks-055610326.html

 

[Leather]

That's amazing.

 

[DJnVa]

That tweet is the equivalent of calling out someone's spelling and spelling every other word incorrectly.

 

[yecul]

People in this thread give him a hard time for trying to play the every-man in his expensive Manhattan apartment. I disagree. He is the perfect every-man who is clueless and loves displaying it. The depth of understanding is simply not there and the awareness of his gaps in knowledge is also not there. That is a tough combination.

 

[Seonachan]

Almost literally anyone else and the "...in Manhattan" stuff would strike me as being obvious trolling/ joke. It's like a little kid who gets their first watch and is constantly thinking up new reasons to check it or tell everyone around them what time it is. It has blown past comical and into full-on fucking bizarre.

 
Las Vegas . . . Nevada

 

[ifmanis5]

But every once in awhile, even the most distinguished scribe can make a mistake.

 

[Reverend]

 
Yeah, it's one thing when DeadSpin is taking their shots at you. Yahoo! though suggests that the realization is getting out.

 

[Corsi]

Peter King ‏@SI_PeterKing  6m6 minutes ago
RT @HairyBushLover: You're right Peter. @TessQuinlan is a rocket … You mean the media star and former outfielder for the Montclair Bears?

 

[reej]

Edit - beaten by Corsi

I got a great laugh out of that

 

[MarcSullivaFan]

What makes it even more insane is that the guy's avatar is the very thing he professes to love. Apparently Peter does not recognize it in its natural state.

 

[GeorgeCostanza]

He has about the same general awareness as Tony Allen dribbling on a fast break in his Celtic days. Aloof doesn't even begin to describe it.

 

[Corsi]

God this guy is tonedeaf.
 
Peter King ‏@SI_PeterKing  2m2 minutes ago
RT @bergzilla1680: Good quiet vacation spot in New England? … Omni Hotel, Mount Washington.

 

[Reverend]

God this guy is tonedeaf.
 
Peter King ‏@SI_PeterKing  2m2 minutes ago
RT @bergzilla1680: Good quiet vacation spot in New England? … Omni Hotel, Mount Washington.

 

 

[GeorgeCostanza]

Stayed there on my honeymoon. Beautiful hotel, great views, but $500 a night if my memory serves me, is not what I would consider low key.

 

[Spelunker]

Eh, those are Manhattan prices.

 

[joe dokes]

Stayed there on my honeymoon. Beautiful hotel, great views, but $500 a night if my memory serves me, is not what I would consider low key.

 
I went xc-skiing up there a few times in the early 90s when the Hotel was boarded up.  It was kinda creepy.
 
These days, my wife and I like to hike a Presidential on a summer day and then have a beer or 3 on the back porch of the Hotel. A couple of hours of pretending to stay there. (god knows I wont be paying for the privilege anytime soon). 
 
If King saw us arrive in in our hiking duds plopping down on chairs to enjoy the view and brew he'd probably write about us the following Monday as a travel headache, much as he does the unworthies who occupy his air and train space.

 

[Average Reds]

 
 
 
 
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/yahoo-sports-minute/peter-king-directs-snarky-tweet-at-colts-wr-hakeem-nicks-055610326.html
 

 
You know, I just assumed at first glance that King's tweet was meant to be ironic. 
 
I am scared if he really meant that.

 

[ifmanis5]

Why doesn't he just add "phew."

Owners professed faith in Goodell, w/asterisk. Wanted to see Mueller findings. Despite public skepticism, report will put Goodell in clear.
— Peter King (@SI_PeterKing) January 8, 2015

 

[GeorgeCostanza]

Twitter is a bad fit for someone who has no use for the words clear and concise.

 

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

"Will put," like he's making a prediction but hasn't read it yet? Or he's read it and is confident everyone will agree Goodell is all set?

I'm assuming the latter, but why not "puts"?

Like we all have to read it first?

Edit: and this seems far from "in the clear": http://www.si.com/nfl/2015/01/08/nfl-roger-goodell-ray-rice-robert-mueller-report

 

[ifmanis5]

King on NBC pregame: Josh McD is going nowhere, will remain as Pats Offensive Co-ord.

 

[Corsi]

It really upsets me way more than it should that he's discovered and is fawning all over MBC.  If he discovers Jack's Abby I may need to start drinking something other than beer. 

 
Oh man am I sorry.
 

i. Beernerdness: Tried the Smoke and Dagger black lager Friday night—I’d never heard of such a beer, a black lager—out of Jack’s Abby Brewing (Framingham, Mass.) Intriguing. A little bit of a porter, but lighter. Tasty winter beer. Countless number of those in New England. I don’t know how you choose.
 

 

[tims4wins]

"Tasty"

 

[GeorgeCostanza]

I stopped reading after he quoted Sun Tzu.

 

[BS_SoxFan]

"Intriguing." What an asshole...

 

[CoffeeNerdness]

Is a tasty winter beer wintery?

 

[Soxy]

Read the Peter King football column on Monday. I'd never heard of such a sport - football. Intriguing. A little like baseball, but with more scoring. Nice sports column. Countless number of those this time of year. I don't know how you choose.

 

[Leather]

“All warfare my writing is based on deception. Hence, when we are  able to attack I am asked to write about football, we must seem unable I must pretend to be knowledgeable; when using our forces asked to draw conclusions , we must appear inactive  I must equivocate.”
—Sun Tzu, in the ancient Chinese military manual The Art of War. 
---Peter King, in the obsolete sports blog, MMQB.

 
 
 
[Describing the scene after Peyton shit the bed again]:
 

6:15 p.m.: Coach John Fox makes a beeline for Manning and pats him on the back. They converse for a couple of minutes. Fox pats him on the back again.
6:17 p.m.: Packs suitcase.
6:18 p.m.: Fox comes back, gives him a handshake and then says, “Sorry, P” before walking off.
 

 
Does this strike anyone else as a little, shall we say, weird?   Any doubt who's running the show in Denver?
 
Also, this is wonderful, and not for the reason King probably thinks:
 

6:59 p.m.: Manning drives out of the stadium, for perhaps the final time as a player.
“What struck me was how matter-of-fact everything was,” said Bedard. “It could have been a regular-season loss based on his reaction. There was no holding his head in his hands. No long stretches of staring off into space. No devastation. No sense of finality. It just seemed part of the process for him.”
 

 

[Corsi]

a. My heart goes out to that magazine staff in Paris. What a twisted, terrible, unjustified act.
 

 
"that magazine staff"

 

[joe dokes]

It was also legal. Love Belichick? You’ll say, “This use of the rules is why. The man’s a genius, and knows how to use the rules better than anyone in the league.” Hate Belichick? You’ll say, “This use of rules is why. He bends the rules and does what he wants and gets away with unfair stuff.” Or something like that, with a Spygate reference thrown in for good measure.
 

 
This is King at his most incoherent. Even if you take the position that Spygate was the height of illegality, once you say "[Saturday] was legal," you can't really make the analogy anymore.  Unless you are Peter King. No wonder Belichick won't talk to him.

 

On Saturday night, in the third quarter against Baltimore, New England lined up four offensive linemen in their usual spots but with a running back, Shane Vereen, split out wide right, having declared himself an ineligible receiver before the snap, with a wide receiver to the right of him. A backup tight end, Michael Hoomanawanui, was in the left tackle slot, but he was actually an eligible receiver because Vereen, wide right, was not. At the snap of the ball, Vereen stepped back from the line and held his hands out for the ball, continuing the ruse. Hoomanawanui lumbered up the left seam, and quarterback Tom Brady hit him with a pass. Gain of 14, to the Baltimore 10-yard line.
Exact same play.
 

Not quite. Alabama's players had ineligible numbers; the two Patriots had eligible numbers. *That* was probably the primary source of Baltimore's confusion.
 

I didn’t see a lot of the Seattle-Carolina game,
 

 
That strikes me as odd. Or weird.
 

Not that it would make that much difference now, but it would shed light on how the league could go from a two-game ban to an indefinite one (which ended up being 10 games when Rice was reinstated in late November), just because a video surfaced that simply put an exclamation point on what was a scurrilous attack in the first place
 

Scurrilous?
 

I don’t find it startling that Shula would have something against another coach, particularly one found to have violated NFL rules. I find it very surprising he’d publicly pick that scab. When you’re 85, the filter disappears, I guess.
 

1986 Substitution Controversy vs. the Philadelphia Eagles
After a game on August 23, 1986. Buddy Ryan accused Shula and the Miami Dolphins of allegedly routinely huddling with 15 people, having four players run off the field at the last minute. It is a ploy that is designed to confuse the defense and that is against the rules. "The rules of the National Football League are that you can only huddle 11 guys," Ryan said Saturday night. "Everybody except Shula - he can huddle 15. That's ridiculous, what they let him get through with. It's because he's on the rules committee. Ryan said that Miami huddled with 15 players "about 18 times in the first part of the game." And yesterday afternoon, he said he knew why the Dolphins did it. Shula said he read the initial charges in the Miami newspapers yesterday morning. Talking to Miami-area reporters later in the day, Shula explained that the Dolphins make a lot of substitutions and that sometimes the people in the huddle don't know they're being taken out until the substitute arrives. Replays of the whole thing were inconclusive, mostly because television normally shows things other than the huddle between plays. Channel 3 did show one replay last night in which two Dolphins were a bit tardy getting out of the huddle. Shula said he could think of two instances in which the Dolphins' substitutions might have confused the Eagles. Once, in the first quarter, Shula said that the Dolphins thought they were facing a third-and-1 situation. When the referee signaled a first down, Shula said he rushed new personnel into the game. The Eagles were called for offsides on the play. The whole incident left Ryan visibly angry after the game. Still, he never said it had anything to do with the way the game turned out. "That had nothing to do with the outcome of the game," Ryan said. "But it just ain't the way you're supposed to do it.
******************************************************
 

1982 AFC Championship Cheating Controversy
In the 1982 AFC Championship game, the Miami Dolphins came out victorious over the New York Jets. Controversy came from then-Jets head coach Walt Michaels, who was upset prior to the game with Don Shula and the Dolphins' decision to not cover the Orange Bowl field. Saying the field conditions were less than ideal is a huge understatement, as a January rain storm pummeled South Florida both the day before and the morning of the game. This resulted in a muddy field that had the side-effect of neutralizing the speed that the Jets had on offense. "The only thing I know is the rules," said Michaels. According to NFL rules, a game must be played under the best possible field conditions, which would've been the case had the Dolphins had a tarp to cover the field. They didn't, allowing the field to become muddy, hence the nickname given to the game, "The Mud Bowl
**********************************************************
 
After the 1969 season, Joe Robbie, owner of the Miami Dolphins, signed Shula to a contract to become Miami's second head coach. As a result of Shula's signing the team was charged with tampering by the NFL, which forced the Dolphins to give their first round pick to the Colts.[
 
 

m. Al Michaels, with the comment after the Darrelle Revis interference call in the first half that Revis hadn’t been called for pass interference in 16 regular-season games. That’s an amazing factoid in and of itself.
 

And nothing on Al Michaels reading the POW script.
 
 

On fourth-and-six from the New England 36, logic would have said to punt and set up New England to drive 90 yards for a score.
 

No, actually, it wouldn't.  One consistent theme of the weekend was going for it on 4th down inside the offensive 40.
 

Nice people on the train at that hour. Very nap-conducive.
 

"Billy, stay away from that man.  He's weird."

 

[Shelterdog]

 
This is King at his most incoherent. Even if you take the position that Spygate was the height of illegality, once you say "[Saturday] was legal," you can't really make the analogy anymore.  Unless you are Peter King. No wonder Belichick won't talk to him.
 

 
I was just coming to post something about that. There's not legitimate reason to bring up Spygate, but hell, why not impugn the Pats if it gives you clicks?  (Likewise, Barnwell calls the 4 OL set "quasi-legal" which is just asinine: either it's a legitimate play or it's not and the answer is clearly legitimate).

 

[Corsi]

 
I was just coming to post something about that. There's not legitimate reason to bring up Spygate, but hell, why not impugn the Pats if it gives you clicks?  (Likewise, Barnwell calls the 4 OL set "quasi-legal" which is just asinine: either it's a legitimate play or it's not and the answer is clearly legitimate).

 
It's just retribution for Belichick icing him out.  Clearly it's been kicking around his brain lately.
 
From last week:
 
https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/552649067059486721

 

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

There's no such thing as a "little bit of a porter." Lagers and ales (a porter is a type of ale) are brewed fundamentally differently. He just drank a dark beer and was like, hey, porters are dark, too! So this lager might be a little bit of a porter. 
 
It's like saying bagel is a little bit of a donut. And I don't even like beer. 

 

[Icculus]

I didn’t see a lot of the Seattle-Carolina game
 

 
Maybe it's just Belichick's "Do Your Job" mantra that he doesn't like.

 

[rodderick]

 
It's just retribution for Belichick icing him out.  Clearly it's been kicking around his brain lately.
 
From last week:
 
https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/552649067059486721

 
Translation: "I was a sanctimonious, self agrandizing asshole to the greatest coach in NFL history about a subject I have no idea about".

 

[E5 Yaz]

The Peyton leaving the stadium stuff was just bizarre.
 
King was in Foxboro, so the timestamp reporting was all coming from Bedard, which raises a question. Did Bedard think to do this himself and say, "Hey, I'll email this to the boss," or did King decided that it looked like it could be Manning's last game, so he assigned Bedard (who probably had other things he wanted to track down) to carry his water here?
 
It's done for the sole purpose of allowing King to have Peyton's potential final trudge away from the stadium recorded in his column ... even if he doesn't report it himself.

 

[Toe Nash]

I know I shouldn't be surprised but it's really inexcusable for King to not watch one of the 4 playoff football games this week. If he had an event or something during the game, there is this thing called DVR or NFL rewind that he could use. How many fans watched all 4 games? It's playoff football.