Lets Talk About Drew Magary

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
13,009
I half expect Magary to post a post-Pats, final "Why Your My Team Sucks" column dedicated to G/O Media.
 

Average Reds

Dope
Staff member
Dope
V&N Mod
SoSH Member
Sep 24, 2007
25,155
Southwestern CT
Since she’s being discussed here, I thought I’d point out that Greenwell decided to go out with a bang today:


Not sure how long it will remain up, but it’s something...

Edit: joe dokes was damn close to bingo here.

I half expect Magary to post a post-Pats, final "Why Your My Team Sucks" column dedicated to G/O Media.
 
Last edited:

drleather2001

given himself a skunk spot
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
25,644
It’s flawed, almost by design, but I’ll miss Deadspin when it’s gone in 18 months.
 

kenneycb

Hates Goose Island Beer; Loves Backdoor Play
SoSH Member
Dec 2, 2006
12,666
Tuukka's refugee camp
It isn’t a PE issue. It’s a Deadspin issue. PE or not PE, they’d be dead in a short while regardless. They’re Tumblr and a bunch of rich people bet they could save them.

They are no longer the “renegades” or breeding ground for writers they once were. So nobody cares. Being first only gives you so much runway. And it’s running out.
 

thebtskink

lurker
Jul 15, 2005
132
Drew's piece on the Luck retirement this morning is quite good:

 

Spelunker

Well-Known Member
Gold Supporter
SoSH Member
Jul 17, 2005
5,866
Drew's piece on the Luck retirement this morning is quite good:

Luck is hardly the first NFL player to bow out of the sport in what ought to be his prime, nor will he be the last. The list keeps growing: Barry Sanders, Calvin Johnson, Patrick Willis, Chris Borland, Jason Worilds, Pat Tillman, Tiki Barber, Robert Smith, Vontae Davis, Lynn Swann, Gale Sayers, Jim Brown, and now Luck.
It is very on brand for Magary to compile a list of good players that retired early and leave out the very obvious, but hated, example from just a few months ago
 
Jul 23, 2019
3
Should Pat Tilman's name be included on this list? Most everyone else got out before injuries wrecked their lives. Tilman was a different case entirely.
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
13,009
It is very on brand for Magary to compile a list of good players that retired early and leave out the very obvious, but hated, example from just a few months ago
He said "what ought to be his prime," which is different than "early." I dont think even the biggest Patriots' fan would consider Gronk to be "in his prime," even if they consider his retirement "early." (Which is a questionable description in itself, unless we are considering everything that comes before "sucks and shouldn't even be playing" to be "early." )
 

Spelunker

Well-Known Member
Gold Supporter
SoSH Member
Jul 17, 2005
5,866
He said "what ought to be his prime," which is different than "early." I dont think even the biggest Patriots' fan would consider Gronk to be "in his prime," even if they consider his retirement "early." (Which is a questionable description in itself, unless we are considering everything that comes before "sucks and shouldn't even be playing" to be "early." )
Eh, who else on that list would be in their prime? Barry and Brown would still have been great, but if you're slicing so narrowly it's awfully hard to say that a 31 year old running back is in his prime.

I think this both walks and sounds like a duck.
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
13,009
Eh, who else on that list would be in their prime? Barry and Brown would still have been great, but if you're slicing so narrowly it's awfully hard to say that a 31 year old running back is in his prime.
He used "in their prime." If you disagree how that fits with some of those players, that's fine (although off the top of my head, Smith, Borland and Worrils would be hard to argue against). OTOH -- Perhaps it's all just a smokescreen for his true goal -- to cleverly avoid mentioning Gronkowski. But, no one can seriously argue that Gronkowski was "in his prime."


I think this both walks and sounds like a duck.
Which, coincidentally, is a very good description of Gronkowski for stretches of 2018.

There's not a single NFL-watching person alive -- other than those looking for places to find reasons for anti-Patriot umbrage -- who considered Gronkowski's retirement either to be "early" (to use your word) or "in his prime" (Magary's).
 

Kliq

Member
SoSH Member
Mar 31, 2013
10,017
I don't really care if Magary was looking to slight Gronk or not, but a really close career comp for Gronk is Sayers, who was transcendent early in his career but injuries cut it short, ending with two forgettable seasons.
 

cheech13

Member
SoSH Member
Jan 5, 2006
1,283
FWIW I think there is a difference between retiring "young" and retiring "early." Gronk was young but it was anything but early. Luck was both, as were many others on that list. It could have been a slight, or it could have been an oversight on his part. When I think of guys who retired early I think of Sanders and Johnson, not Gronk.
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
13,009
George Sauer would have been a good example of young healthy and still good. I remember when he retired. It was inconceivable to a 10-year old that a healthy player would quit at 27. (Although he later played in the WFL). An interesting fellow, as it turned out.

 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

has fancy plans, and pants to match
Dope
Apr 12, 2001
20,050
A few years ago (I think it was the year after the Pats beat Atlanta) he wrote that he was toying with not writing a Pats WYTS entry, but ultimately did it. I think it would be hilarious if he did that today.
 

Smiling Joe Hesketh

All Hail King Boron
Dope
May 20, 2003
30,496
Deep inside Muppet Labs
Nah, he's going to call Massachusetts residents MAGA racists, he's going to call Brady and BB and Kraft Trump supporters, he'll devote 6 paragraphs to Kraft's handjob, he's going to say the Pats have ruined football for everyone.

There's far too much anger in him to pass on this.
 

Pablo's TB Lover

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 10, 2017
462
The Why Your Team Sucks series ends today with the Pats. I expect it to be the most vitriolic thing he's ever written.
He certainly had vitriol for the Rams WYTS yesterday BECAUSE of their assist in extending the Pats dynasty, mentioning their 13-3 record reminded him of "another 13-3" (Super Bowl score). And the 12th highest scoring offense in history scoring "three fucking points".

But yes, agreed above in that Magary is going to hit the political/personal angle more than anything. Maybe one football-related angle will be to blame other teams for their "easy road" to a championship, such as a mention that the Dolphins managed to embarrass the Pats during the season but the Chiefs and Rams who played to a 54-51 game stumbled over themselves when it counted.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

has fancy plans, and pants to match
Dope
Apr 12, 2001
20,050
Nah, he's going to call Massachusetts residents MAGA racists, he's going to call Brady and BB and Kraft Trump supporters, he'll devote 6 paragraphs to Kraft's handjob, he's going to say the Pats have ruined football for everyone.

There's far too much anger in him to pass on this.
See, I'm not too sure if he's going to go with the "Massachusetts residents are racists" too hard mainly because he's seem to have gone away from that this year. Last year and the year before, every single WYTS was, "Fan base X is racist and here's why." I don't think that he's done that too much this year. The hand job thing will be there (and it should be, because that's fucking embarrassing as hell) and he's going to talk about the Pats ruining football, maybe a little Tommy from Qwinzee action, but it'll be fine.
 

thehitcat

Well-Known Member
Silver Supporter
SoSH Member
Nov 25, 2003
1,630
Windham, ME
I'll be curious if he gets Patriots fans to be negative about the team in the last section. To me that'll just have to be fans from other fanbases bitching about the Pats because in my mind Patriot's fans don't have anything to bitch about (other than in the game threads...)
 

Mystic Merlin

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 21, 2007
30,651
Hartford, CT
I'll be curious if he gets Patriots fans to be negative about the team in the last section. To me that'll just have to be fans from other fanbases bitching about the Pats because in my mind Patriot's fans don't have anything to bitch about (other than in the game threads...)
He’ll post emails from people bitching about any one of the MAGA association, Aaron Hernandez (this one mystified me but it comes up), Tom’s diet/health regimen, RK’s handjob, perhaps a swipe at the stadiums, a Barstool reference, shock and dismay over becoming the Yankees of football, a shot at the perceived persecution complex of Pats fans despite, per this peculiar line of attack, Goodell being in the bag for Kraft, and maybe even a profession of fear that the Pats will be bad again some day.

Basically very little about football itself because, with the exception of the Jim Murrays of the fanbase, what is there really to be unhappy about?
 

gingerbreadmann

Member
SoSH Member
Mar 11, 2008
680
He’ll post emails from people bitching about any one of the MAGA association, Aaron Hernandez (this one mystified me but it comes up), Tom’s diet/health regimen, RK’s handjob, perhaps a swipe at the stadiums, a Barstool reference, shock and dismay over becoming the Yankees of football, a shot at the perceived persecution complex of Pats fans despite, per this peculiar line of attack, Goodell being in the bag for Kraft, and maybe even a profession of fear that the Pats will be bad again some day.

Basically very little about football itself because, with the exception of the Jim Murrays of the fanbase, what is there really to be unhappy about?
Yeah, there is never a shortage of emails from people trying to be the woke Pats fan by shitting on the rest of the fanbase as well as all the things you mentioned. Basically a bunch of people playing the role Samer plays whenever he writes about Boston sports. Not that they are wrong about any of that, but the emails every year strike me as people who pander to Drew's usual angles so that they can get their emails posted.
 

Smiling Joe Hesketh

All Hail King Boron
Dope
May 20, 2003
30,496
Deep inside Muppet Labs
Tom Brady got suspended four games for doctoring footballs and yet no one, including the NFL, gives half a shit that he and the Patriots have, for YEARS now, circumvented the cap by paying Brady’s vanity company for contract work, allowing Brady to consistently play for less than market value so that the cupboard around him can remain fully stocked.
If he's gonna do these bits he needs to at least be funny and SOMEWHAT accurate. Everything in the above statement is false, but certainly the Deadspin folks don't care.
 

Mystic Merlin

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 21, 2007
30,651
Hartford, CT
He’s a bit off his game on this one, and - not that this is Drew’s fault - the fan emails were a disappointment. I did like the reference to Parcells’ front butt and the joke about the Pats being the only team to play in a ‘woodland stadium.’
 

Jim Ed Rice in HOF

Red-headed Skrub child
SoSH Member
Jul 21, 2005
3,709
Seacoast NH
A paint by numbers rant on the Pats. This line however got a laugh out of me:

Safety Patrick Chung—you might remember him from the time Belichick switched bodies with Chuck Pagano for a second—might be suspended after getting indicted for felony cocaine possession in New Hampshire last month. So sad. Had Chung driven 15 extra minutes, he could’ve EASILY found some fentanyl or meth instead.
I don't know if this was Drew just saying NH has lots of drugs or if he really knows the geography and the fact that Laconia is a complete shit hole filled with fentanyl and meth and is about that distance from Meredith.
 

joe dokes

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
13,009
He’s a bit off his game on this one, and - not that this is Drew’s fault - the fan emails were a disappointment. I did like the reference to Parcells’ front butt and the joke about the Pats being the only team to play in a ‘woodland stadium.’
Other than Robert's pre-AFCCG Kraftjerk, he's got next to nothing to work with.
 

Joe D Reid

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Jan 15, 2004
3,205
Alameda, CA
The whole thing struck me as more of a sigh than anything. Not sure it even ranked in the top half for anger of this year's series.

It's honestly probably time to retire the series. You can only insult every major American city at essay length so many times before you start getting diminishing returns.
 

jose melendez

Earl of Acie
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Oct 23, 2003
19,417
Washington DC
The dick Pats fan in the below Saints complaint was me

Jessica:

Here are all of the things that deserve to drown slowly in a cesspool of Bourbon Street bile this offseason:
...

My Patriots-fan friend who texted his condolences to me immediately after that game while also going out of his way to point out that the Saints made some bad play calls in the final two minutes. He then got to watch his team trip ass-backwards into their ninth Super Bowl in 18 years only because Dee Ford did not know what a line of scrimmage is
 

shaggydog2000

Member
SoSH Member
Apr 5, 2007
5,956
Magary is like Beavis at the end of his first Cornholio spoken word jam. At first he was all energy and righteous indignation, now he's just petered out and repeating himself.

 

drleather2001

given himself a skunk spot
SoSH Member
Jul 18, 2005
25,644
He’s been writing social commentary pretty regularly for Esquire and Medium. I’d be surprised if he’s still at Deadspin in two years, especially given the management situation.
 

InstaFace

MDLzera
SoSH Member
Sep 27, 2016
8,593
Nah, he's going to call Massachusetts residents MAGA racists, he's going to call Brady and BB and Kraft Trump supporters, he'll devote 6 paragraphs to Kraft's handjob, he's going to say the Pats have ruined football for everyone.

There's far too much anger in him to pass on this.
Boy, if I'd known how right you were going to be, I wouldn't have needed to read the article.
 

dirtynine

Member
SoSH Member
Dec 17, 2002
4,771
Philly
The comments here seem a little serious - it’s a roast, right? He finds a bunch of material to completely goose up and be ridiculous about for every team. Belichick/Brady/Pats are the “stars” of most of the other WYTS entries because they’re used as the example of a capable organization in comparison to [insert crappy 6-10 team here]. I mean, most writing on Deadspin is snark-take performance art anyway, but this series is the height of it. I don’t for a second think there’s a lot of actual bitterness driving Magary to do it.
 

NickEsasky

Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em
SoSH Member
Jul 24, 2001
8,099
The comments here seem a little serious - it’s a roast, right? He finds a bunch of material to completely goose up and be ridiculous about for every team. Belichick/Brady/Pats are the “stars” of most of the other WYTS entries because they’re used as the example of a capable organization in comparison to [insert crappy 6-10 team here]. I mean, most writing on Deadspin is snark-take performance art anyway, but this series is the height of it. I don’t for a second think there’s a lot of actual bitterness driving Magary to do it.
For most teams this is true. However, he is in record as truly hating both the Patriots (and their fans) and the Redskins. I used to enjoy the roast nature of these columns but when everything on Deadspin is "fuck all things Boston" at all times, it kind of gets old.
 

shaggydog2000

Member
SoSH Member
Apr 5, 2007
5,956
For most teams this is true. However, he is in record as truly hating both the Patriots (and their fans) and the Redskins. I used to enjoy the roast nature of these columns but when everything on Deadspin is "fuck all things Boston" at all times, it kind of gets old.
I agree that it was a fun gag, and even for the Pats I thought it was fun and funny the first few times. But now he's just run out of steam. Auto-pilot hating is just not nearly as good. All that sugar and cappuccino helped him go strong out of the gate, but now he's come down off the high.
 

DavidTai

Member
SoSH Member
Dec 18, 2003
704
Herndon, VA
This year's WYTS on the Pats is a bit of a bloodbath. You probably should avoid it.
I saw a comment on Reddit that said Magary basically craps on the QB, the coach, the owner, and the product on the field for 31 other team, but that for the Patriots, he can only crap on the QB, the coach, and the owner.

Seems like that's pretty true the last few years.