I refereed youth rec games when I was in Middle School through HS as a volunteer. I cared a lot more than most of the adults I see now getting paid to officiate games and I did a much better job because of that. Don't get me wrong, there are adults who get paid and do a great job, they're just in the minority.
The IAABO patch
https://www.iaabo.org/ shows that they are certified but that's no guarantee of quality.
It's not that difficult to referee rec/travel games 4-8. IF you start the game by blowing the whistle and calling some fouls and violations. It's when referees try to get by calling as little as possible that it almost always escalates.
I'm currently coaching 5th grade (4th kid) We get lots of guys who just call out of bounds and shooting fouls and the games become more wrestling match than basketball. We also had one game where they called 32 fouls on the other team. Part of the problem is that a lot of coaches have no idea what NFHS rules especially around illegal contact on the ball handler, so they don't teach good legal defense.
It's an awful cycle because then the referees don't enforce the rules to make the coaches teach the right way. A lot of time, the most successful teams in 4th-5th-6th grade are the teams that foul the most (and usually don't have it called). That's not a good prescription for long term success though.
The best way to look at it is to teach the players to control what they can control and not worry about the stuff they can't. It's frustrating but in the end a very important life lesson.