tOSU-Michigan Game Thread

Rick Burlesons Yam Bag

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So let's be honest. It's cute that all of you fans of other teams post in this forum, but there is only one game that matters in the college football calendar. The annual shit-kicking of Michigan by tOSU.

Now, each team has their own thread, and while the Michigan thread is, as you would expect, a long monologue of nonsense, drivel, overhyped expectations and at certain points, conversations about geriatric pooping habits, both have avoided the kind of smack talk and hype that one might expect. The tOSU thread was awarded "Most dignified thread ever" by a panel of experts, and I think that maintaining that level of discourse is important.

So this thread is here for two reasons:

a) To discuss the tOSU-Michigan game, and
2) Because Skrub really likes new threads and it is important to keep Skrub happy during this week. He is like the Jobu of tOSU.

So with that, let's all remind ourselves of certain facts regarding this rivalry:

- 10 years ago everyone was all excited because number 1 was playing number 2 in this game. In honor of this distinction, Michigan came out and played exactly like number 2.
- Ohio State was recently named the greatest college football team of all time. Michigan was named the most "meh"
- Vegas is offering 5-1 odds that Harbaugh comes out for the second half wearing a Colts jacket and spends 50% of the 4th quarter glad handing tOSU players he will want to draft into Indianapolis over the next few seasons. True story.
- Jerry Sandusky was offered a job at Michigan after the revelations of child molestation came out. Also a true story.
- Michigan fans have a halftime tradition of calling each other up over the phone and masturbating on their couches, or in their seats if they are actually at the game.
- 40% of Michigan fans descend from a long and proud line of prostitutes, both male, female and ladyboy.
- Jim Tressel came in to the job as head coach of tOSU and promised a victory over Michigan. Even with a team that was, at best, mediocre, he delivered. and delivered. and delivered. and delivered. and delivered. and delivered. and delivered. and delivered. Then Michigan cheated. then he delivered again. and again he delivered.
- The networks in Michigan estimate that 32% of Michigan fans will tune in late because they believe that Columbus is in the Mountain time zone.

It's Buckeye time, bitches.
 

tims4wins

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Yeah as a Michigan fan I am pretty pessimistic. Think tOSU wins by double digits and in comfortable fashion - up two scores most of the game.
 

snowmanny

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Yammer, between your brilliant opening post and this one, you have me cracking up. Well done.
Oh yes that was brilliant RBGYB. You are a good poster. I really mean that.

If Rev bans me so be it, but it had to be said.
 

snowmanny

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Interesting that you admit you have no idea what she's up to.

I remember Jim Harbaugh as quarterback and really the most annoying losses of my Michigan football Target-fandom were the final second loss to Iowa in 1985 (number one by far) and the final second loss to Minnesota in 1986, each of which denied him a chance to play for the national championship. It's great that the rules have changed and this year's last-second loss to Iowa doesn't eliminate them from the race. I am hopeful, in part because Ohio State has looked like crap a bunch of times this year. Amazing how much has changed in two years.
 

Marciano490

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This thread with RBYB but no WBV is like when the Buffalo D went up against Jacoby Brissett earlier in the season. Yeah, it's looking pretty one-sided, but everyone knows the opponent's best player is banished.
 

snowmanny

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Well it's going to be pretty exciting for Ohio State University to win the game thread.
 

twibnotes

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Go Blue


Prediction: I think Ohio St. wins this one, but the rivalry is going to be much more balanced in the coming years. Harbaugh isn't going anywhere for a while.
 

Rick Burlesons Yam Bag

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I'll throw $50 to the Jimmy Fund for that. But I still think you're just being like whoever this guy is running his mouth and pretending he wants to fight Michigan great Jason Avant.

As a complete aside, i don't think DJax was trying to fight Avant, was he? The two guys were both favorites of mine and I don't remember them ever getting into it, that receiving corps was pretty tight. Avant had amazing hands, he could catch a cannonball.

Still, it would be good to get the driver of the clown car in here.
 

twibnotes

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As a complete aside, i don't think DJax was trying to fight Avant, was he? The two guys were both favorites of mine and I don't remember them ever getting into it, that receiving corps was pretty tight. Avant had amazing hands, he could catch a cannonball.

Still, it would be good to get the driver of the clown car in here.

Avant did indeed have silly hands. I was at the game at Northwestern when Avant made an amazing one handed grab in the end zone - best catch I've ever seen live. Just went to YouTube it and saw he made several one handed grabs in the NFL too.
 

Boomer Scott

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There is room for only one big swinging dick in the Big 10. The Buckeyes will once again strut onto the field John Travolta Saturday Night Fever style, pull out their dongs and proceed to club the wolverines with much the same fervor that an Eskimo clubs a baby seal. As the time ticks away in the 4th Booger Jim Harbaugh will once again be left standing on the sideline looking more confused than a 3 dicked dog in a fire hydrant factory..Go Buckeyes. Fuck Michigan!!
 

Rick Burlesons Yam Bag

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There is room for only one big swinging dick in the Big 10. The Buckeyes will once again strut onto the field John Travolta Saturday Night Fever style, pull out their dongs and proceed to club the wolverines with much the same fervor that an Eskimo clubs a baby seal. As the time ticks away in the 4th Booger Jim Harbaugh will once again be left standing on the sideline looking more confused than a 3 dicked dog in a fire hydrant factory..Go Buckeyes. Fuck Michigan!!
This guy gets it.
 

Rick Burlesons Yam Bag

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Avant did indeed have silly hands. I was at the game at Northwestern when Avant made an amazing one handed grab in the end zone - best catch I've ever seen live. Just went to YouTube it and saw he made several one handed grabs in the NFL too.
He truly had some of the greatest hands I have ever seen. Not only could he catch anything, he also was stone cold in traffic. In addition he was a boss, I would be willing to bet that his INT/target rate would be insanely low.
 

Zososoxfan

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I think UM wins this one and it's not particularly close. OSU's line is butt and Mich's d line is NFL quality, which is a big win for UM obviously. Oh and it's a full 2 deep. Sure, if Samuel and Barrett get to the 2nd level, there may be a problem, but I expect UM to run their LBs into the A gaps to allow the D line to do their thing. In fact, I could see a lot of D linemen dropping into zones in order to let them do the tackling rather than the LBs--it will obviously be a mix. Peppers will rip someone's head off, probably.

Michigan could throw Morris in there and he'd still throw all over this young and inexperienced defense. OSU might be able to stop 2/3 of Butt, Darboh, and Chesson but not all 3. Same with the RBs, OSU maybe stops Isaac and Smith, but then Evans and Higdon will tear them up.

And that still leaves UM's biggest advantage, special teams. Jabrill Peppers in nigh impossible to tackle and I don't see OSU doing anything hugely different schematically to stop that. He will probably hurdle Meyer on his way to a TD Saturday. Also, OSU hasn't had the greatest luck this year with special teams this year to put it very lightly. Kenny Allen has been Ghost level good since some early season yips, and we might even see Nordin boot one if it gets late in the game and the distance is demanding.
 

FL4WL3SS

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I think UM wins this one and it's not particularly close. OSU's line is butt and Mich's d line is NFL quality, which is a big win for UM obviously. Oh and it's a full 2 deep. Sure, if Samuel and Barrett get to the 2nd level, there may be a problem, but I expect UM to run their LBs into the A gaps to allow the D line to do their thing. In fact, I could see a lot of D linemen dropping into zones in order to let them do the tackling rather than the LBs--it will obviously be a mix. Peppers will rip someone's head off, probably.

Michigan could throw Morris in there and he'd still throw all over this young and inexperienced defense. OSU might be able to stop 2/3 of Butt, Darboh, and Chesson but not all 3. Same with the RBs, OSU maybe stops Isaac and Smith, but then Evans and Higdon will tear them up.

And that still leaves UM's biggest advantage, special teams. Jabrill Peppers in nigh impossible to tackle and I don't see OSU doing anything hugely different schematically to stop that. He will probably hurdle Meyer on his way to a TD Saturday. Also, OSU hasn't had the greatest luck this year with special teams this year to put it very lightly. Kenny Allen has been Ghost level good since some early season yips, and we might even see Nordin boot one if it gets late in the game and the distance is demanding.
You, sir, are delusional.

Barrett and Samuel and Weber WILL get into the 2nd level and they WILL rub their dicks all over the faces of Michigan fans.
 

Zososoxfan

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Also, you forget that Urban is an infinitely better coach than Harbaugh. Talent aside, Michigan is outmatched on the sidelines.
Shenanigans. Urban had 2 egregious losses in the past 2 years. He has Bama like talent and has shit the bed with tactics in both losses. Don't take it from me, it's been all rehashed over at 11W.

As for tomorrow, Brown has been keeping hidden blitz packages all year. The run blitzes to be unleashed tomorrow will keep Barrett in the pocket and Samuel in check. The line is so bad that it wont matter. OSU will have more trouble moving the ball than even UM, and I'll take that matchup all day, especially with ST being the biggest factor.
 

Rudy's Curve

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Delusional scUM propaganda that's been said ad nauseam the last 15 years
It's cute when you're relevant every 10 years. I bet the same things were said in 2006 and then Troy Smith cemented himself as the best player in the history of this game while Beanie Wells spun through a Michigan defense loaded with pros and Antonio Pittman is still running free.

John Cooper isn't walking through that door. As long as Ohio State has a coach that recognizes the importance of this game, they will continue to own it. But hey, you'll always have that 2011 win over an interim coach and the only seven-loss Ohio State team since '97. That would be 1897, which is around the time period of Michigan's greatest success. Unfortunately, the latter half of the 20th century and the 21st haven't been too kind.

Go Bucks.
 

Zososoxfan

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Harbaugh lost 3 games last year and also had an egregious loss this year.

When was the last time Harbaugh won the national championship? I honestly forget, please remind me.
I really don't see the relevance of Harbaugh's first year at a program that was being run by a coach and AD so far over their heads that the former is no longer in sports while the latter is busy ruining another program (and really that job is complete). If you don't think Harbaugh wins a championship in the next few seasons, I don't know what to tell you. The man recruits at a level that is only comparable to Bama - he is in the news daily and recruits love it. Harbaugh and his whole staff ooze NFL success, something that Meyer can't claim other than Zeke running behind the best line in the NFL. Although Meyer's players do seem to enjoy getting in trouble regularly.

As for Rudy, you sound desperate my friend. OSU finally feels outmatched (or should anyway) and you are scared of the competition. Frankly, I would be too. Harbaugh is the hardest working coach in football, has the most historic program, and his pitch is more effective on recruits. OSU's unchallenged time in the sun is over and everyone knows it, well except for Bucknuts anyway.
 
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Rudy's Curve

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As for Rudy, you sound desperate my friend. OSU finally feels outmatched (or should anyway) and you are scared of the competition. Frankly, I would be too. Harbaugh is the hardest working coach in football, has the most historic program, and his pitch is more effective on recruits. OSU's unchallenged time in the sun is over and everyone knows it, well except for Bucknuts anyway.
Ohio State is a top-two team in the country despite having sent eight million players to the NFL last year. They're also more than a 2-1 favorite to win tomorrow. I think they'll be okay.

Ever get annoyed with a Yankee fan talking about the past? That's a Michigan fan, except their past pretty much ended in 1948.
 

Zososoxfan

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I'm not the one pointing to the past-hell, the past 10 years of this rivalry have been the most 1-sided they've been in a long time, possibly ever. My point is that Harbaugh is an unstoppable force and I expect the tide to start turning as soon as tomorrow.
 

Rudy's Curve

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I'm not the one pointing to the past-hell, the past 10 years of this rivalry have been the most 1-sided they've been in a long time, possibly ever. My point is that Harbaugh is an unstoppable force and I expect the tide to start turning as soon as tomorrow.
The betting market isn't stupid. Why is Ohio State a 6.5-point favorite and more than 2-1 to win then?

And what exactly about "has the most historic program" is not pointing to the past?
 
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Zososoxfan

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OSU is favored because UM sat Speight last week to give him an extra week of rest. UM did that because UM is substantially better than IU and the rest for tomorrow was far more important. The fact that UM has the most wins in NCAA football does make the program historic, but it's not why UM is poised to win a lot in the next few years--it's Harbaugh, a program that has tons of $, top notch facilities, and the best combination of athletics and academics. The historic nature of the program is merely incidental and one of several reasons why UM is elite. So, I'm sorry that you don't like someone pointing out the FACT that UM has the most wins in NCAA history, but it is fact.
 

Rudy's Curve

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OSU is favored because UM sat Speight last week to give him an extra week of rest. UM did that because UM is substantially better than IU and the rest for tomorrow was far more important. The fact that UM has the most wins in NCAA football does make the program historic, but it's not why UM is poised to win a lot in the next few years--it's Harbaugh, a program that has tons of $, top notch facilities, and the best combination of athletics and academics. The historic nature of the program is merely incidental and one of several reasons why UM is elite. So, I'm sorry that you don't like someone pointing out the FACT that UM has the most wins in NCAA history, but it is fact.
Yep, those morons that influence the market and move lines are just totally sleeping on Michigan. Since you've stated they'll win this one and it won't be particularly close, what would you have the game lined at? 10? 14? 17? You can bet Michigan as slightly under a 2-1 dog to win (OSU being a more than 2-1 favorite comes from combining the lines to remove the juice) so I suggest doing that - you could make a lot of money.

And congratulations to the racist coward Fielding Yost. Michigan may only have half a title in almost 70 years, but they can always fall back on his wins over a bunch of now-D3 schools and the American Medical School.
 

twibnotes

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Harbaugh lost 3 games last year and also had an egregious loss this year.

When was the last time Harbaugh won the national championship? I honestly forget, please remind me.

When was the last time Meyer did anything in the NFL?

Both of these guys are great coaches. One has pretend heart attacks and one doesn't, but they are otherwise pretty similar.
 

Bergs

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Barrett goes down in the 1st quarter, and millions of Michigan fans celebrate. Little do the know that legendary Athens Bulldog and former Ohio Mr Football Joe Motherfucking Burrow is about to unleash hell. tOSU 65, Michigan 13.
 

snowmanny

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I was hoping we'd get WBV back for a day or two.
Oh if he came back he'd probably be sweet as pie to everyone*.

I was feeling pretty good about this game until I heard that the "betting market" favors State. Fuck.

*Edit: Just klidding. He was the world's angriest poster. He will;l be missed tomorrow.
 
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Rick Burlesons Yam Bag

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When was the last time Meyer did anything in the NFL?

Both of these guys are great coaches. One has pretend heart attacks and one doesn't, but they are otherwise pretty similar.
Sure, other than championships.

I like to think that Bill Belichick and Rex Ryan are pretty similar in much the same way.