Myt1 said:
Look, I know that the guy we all thought had gotten killed is still alive, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TEXT WHERE HIS WIFE SAID SHE WISHED HE WERE DEAD?
This is exactly where I've been for the past couple of weeks.
"Mr. Johnson, as you know your wife has been missing for the past few days. We're charging you with murder."
"What? I told you, she's on a business trip! I talked to her last night - look, here's her contact information."
"Sir, I don't think you understand the evidence here. We've gone through your text messages; one time you referred to yourself as "killer" a few months back. Another time, you said you were "going to murder a plate of buffalo wings." You're obviously a cold-blooded killer sir."
"No, those were jokes. Doesn't it matter that my wife is still alive???"
"Well we hired a coroner. He found a woman matching your wife's description. Granted, she was Asian, but the age and weight pretty much match. We caught you."
"But my wife isn't Asian and she's alive! Do a DNA test or something!"
"Yeah, about that; we talked to the coroner and he said it didn't matter. He said you were probably married to this Asian lady. So you likely killed her, or at least knew about it."
"This is insane!"
"Look, why don't you just do everyone a favor and confess so we can all move on from this."