2019 Gronk Watch: Pulling Strings from a Shell

Marciano490

Urological Expert
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Nov 4, 2007
36,539
If 50 Shades could start out as Twilight fanfic porn, I don’t see why we can’t make this Patriots/GWH crossover a massive hit. Boston is so hot right now. I feel like we just need to work in some armored car robbers from like Everett. No, from Quincy. Wait. I got it. Make them from Charlestown!
 

Kliq

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Mar 31, 2013
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One more...

Giselle, twirling Tom's hair: Have you had lots of receivers?
TB: I play for Bill Belichick, of course I've had lots of receivers!
GB: But, how many? How many have you thrown a touchdown to?
TB: You wouldn't believe me if I told you
GB: What, why? How many? 5? 6? 8?
TB: I have thrown a TD to 71 different receivers.
GB: You have not thrown a TD to 71 different receivers.
TB: I have. I swear to god.
GB: Do you know their names?
TB: Do I? They're my receivers! Of course I know their names.
GB: What are their names?
TB: Gronky, Randy, Welky, Branchy, Julesy, Murdery, Grahamy, Benjy, Davey, Jamesy, Browny, Christy, Givey, Danny, Faulky, Hogy, Mikey, Cooksy, Brandy, Shaney, Marty, Gaffney, Timmy, Louie, Big eyes, Scottie, Doby, Dicky, Lloydy, Mitchy, Stallsy, Kenny, Woody, Rexy, Dougie, Chaddie, Smithie, Wiggie, Sammie, Hulkie, Brady, Chrissy, Crumpie, Corey, Philly, Dwightie, Marcy, Hayesy, Keshawny, Patty, Tatey, Dwayny, Ashy, LG, Lengly, Floydy, Larry, Camy, Andre, Heathy, Terry, Hoomanawanui, Chucky, Maroney, Matty Mulls, Chaddy, Passy, Thomsy, Tymsy, Wardy, and Joshy.
GB: Say it again.
TB: Gronky, Randy, Welky, Branchy, Julesy, Murdery, Grahamy, Benjy, Davey, Jamesy, Browny, Christy, Givey, Danny, Faulky, Hogy, Mikey, Cooksy, Brandy, Shaney, Marty, Gaffney, Timmy, Louie, Big eyes, Scottie, Doby, Dicky, Lloydy, Mitchy, Stallsy, Kenny, Woody, Rexy, Dougie, Chaddie, Smithie, Wiggie, Sammie, Hulkie, Brady, Chrissy, Crumpie, Corey, Philly, Dwightie, Marcy, Hayesy, Keshawny, Patty, Tatey, Dwayny, Ashy, LG, Lengly, Floydy, Larry, Camy, Andre, Heathy, Terry, Hoomanawanui, Chucky, Maroney, Matty Mulls, Chaddy, Passy, Thomsy, Tymsy, Wardy, and Joshy.
GB: And Tommy?
TB: Tommy? Tom. Not yet. Maybe this year.
GB: can I meet them? I want to meet your receivers.
TB: Of course you can meet my receivers. Well, except for one...

  • Rob Gronkowski (76)
  • Randy Moss (39)
  • Wes Welker (34)
  • Deion Branch (24)
  • Julian Edelman (24)
  • Aaron Hernandez (18)
  • Daniel Graham (17)
  • Benjamin Watson (17)
  • David Patten (16)
  • James White (16)
  • Troy Brown (15)
  • Christian Fauria (13)
  • David Givens (12)
  • Danny Amendola (10)
  • Kevin Faulk (10)
  • Chris Hogan (10)
  • Mike Vrabel (8)
  • Brandin Cooks (7)
  • Brandon LaFell (7)
  • Shane Vereen (7)
  • Martellus Bennett (6)
  • Jabar Gaffney (6)
  • Tim Wright (6)
  • Dion Lewis (5)
  • Reche Caldwell (4)
  • Scott Chandler (4)
  • Aaron Dobson (4)
  • Bethel Johnson (4)
  • Brandon Lloyd (4)
  • Malcolm Mitchell (4)
  • Donte' Stallworth (4)
  • Kenbrell Thompkins (4)
  • Danny Woodhead (4)
  • Rex Burkhead (3)
  • Doug Gabriel (3)
  • Chad Jackson (3)
  • Antowain Smith (3)
  • Jermaine Wiggins (3)
  • Sam Aiken (2)
  • Brandon Bolden (2)
  • Kyle Brady (2)
  • Chris Baker (2)
  • Alge Crumpler (2)
  • Corey Dillon (2)
  • Phillip Dorsett (2)
  • Tim Dwight (2)
  • Marc Edwards (2)
  • Donald Hayes (2)
  • Keshawn Martin (2)
  • Cordarrelle Patterson (2)
  • Brandon Tate (2)
  • Dwayne Allen (1)
  • Tom Ashworth (1)
  • LaGarrette Blount (1)
  • Matt Lengel (1)
  • Michael Floyd (1)
  • Larry Centers (1)
  • Cam Cleeland (1)
  • Andre' Davis (1)
  • Heath Evans (1)
  • Terry Glenn (1)
  • Michael Hoomanawanui (1)
  • Charles Johnson (1)
  • Laurence Maroney (1)
  • Mathew Mulligan (1)
  • Chad Ochocinco (1)
  • Patrick Pass (1)
  • David Thomas (1)
  • Brian Tyms (1)
  • Dedric Ward (1)
  • Josh Gordon (1)
You sir, have a gift. I broke up laughing at my desk at the Hernandez nickname and my co-workers asked what was going on, but it is kind of hard to explain that I'm reading Brady/Gronk meets GWH fanfiction.
 

amarshal2

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Oct 25, 2005
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Jon,

If Mayock calls, just tell him sorry, I had to go see about a quarterback.

-AB
 

Seels

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Jul 20, 2005
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What could he even be insinuating?

Willie has said on numerous occasions now that he thinks Gronk is coming back. I wonder if he is referencing that
 

DrewDawg

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Dec 16, 2010
36,071
What could he even be insinuating?

Willie has said on numerous occasions now that he thinks Gronk is coming back. I wonder if he is referencing that
I would assume he's just saying Gronk will be there for banner unveiling.
 

Harry Hooper

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Jan 4, 2002
25,779
What could he even be insinuating?

Willie has said on numerous occasions now that he thinks Gronk is coming back. I wonder if he is referencing that
BB has talked Gronk and Marty both into coming out of retirement?
 

Red Averages

owes you $50
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Apr 20, 2003
5,234
They are throwing a football at Gillette. Pretty clearly in town... and tomorrow night is the banner ceremony. Connecting the dots - they will be coming back to Foxboro for the banner ceremony.
 

Koufax

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Jul 15, 2005
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I took it as a joke about Drew's return. He mentions QB.
 

PedroKsBambino

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I don't think this will happen, but can you imagine the reaction from many fans (Jets, Steelers, Chiefs I'm looking at you all!) if Gronk said "fuck it, I want to be a part of this I'm coming back?"

Cap-wise I imagine they'd need him to do a fake-year extension as well wouldn't they?
 

TFP

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Dec 10, 2007
17,360
Guaranteed that was done during his interview with Pardon My Take which I believe they were recording today.
 

nattysez

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Sep 30, 2010
3,774
Pretty sweet trolling of Portnoy by Gronk -- he can't return after Week 13.

ESPN’s Mike Reiss pointed this out (which Mike is apt to do since he’s on this stuff like white on rice), writing, “If he isn't moved off the reserve/retired list by Week 13, he can't return at all. That rule is in place, in part, to eliminate the possibility that a player could sit out all season and then return just for the playoffs.
 

djbayko

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Jul 18, 2005
9,248
Waltham, MA
Pretty sweet trolling of Portnoy by Gronk -- he can't return after Week 13.



Could he just be part of the 53-man roster but not active until Week 14? I know this is silly, but I'm not sure the two things are incompatible.
 

Jim Ed Rice in HOF

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Jul 21, 2005
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Gronk is more fun than the Antonio storyline, so here's the hypothetical scenario that brings him back as negotiated on Pardon My Take:

-$10MM
-No practice except walkthroughs
-Play the last three games
-Uniform #69 and report as tackle eligible every play so the ref has to announce "number 69 reporting as eligible"

 

djbayko

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Jul 18, 2005
9,248
Waltham, MA
Ugh. Dr. Gronk somehow knows that he’s resolved the long term effects of CTE. I too hope he’s just marketing again here, although even that is damaging in its own way.
 

jercra

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Jul 31, 2006
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Ugh. Dr. Gronk somehow knows that he’s resolved the long term effects of CTE. I too hope he’s just marketing again here, although even that is damaging in its own way.
Perhaps his claim that he's cured CTE is proof he hasn't cured CTE?
 

Joe D Reid

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Alameda, CA
The poor bastard has probably been concussed so often that he is confusing the fact that he is no longer suffering *acutely* from a concussion with having recovered from the *chronic* effects of those concussions. I mean, I'm sure he feels better now. But that's not the same thing as having regenerated your brain via the power of Marianne Williamson speeches or whatever.