2019 Gronk Watch: Pulling Strings from a Shell

loshjott

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“Gronk I need you” - Julian Edelman.

How hard will it be to resist that call when it comes in October or November?

Wish him well, and after reading that article I actually hope he stays retired. He is irreplaceable, but the Patriots will find another way.
I would hope JE never says that. And if he does, Gronk's reply should be, "I'm staying out so when you say the same thing at age 50 and you are drolling into a cup and can't think straight or get out of bed in the morning, then I'll REALLY be able to help you."
 

streeter88

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I would hope JE never says that. And if he does, Gronk's reply should be, "I'm staying out so when you say the same thing at age 50 and you are drolling into a cup and can't think straight or get out of bed in the morning, then I'll REALLY be able to help you."
Yes sure. The reason I quoted JE is that he did actually say those words in the last Super Bowl just before the TD drive where Gronk stepped up with two critical plays including the now famous catch up the seam to the 2 yard line.
 

mauf

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The NFL bans all illegal drugs and all use of controlled/prescription drugs without a prescription, so they're inheriting that status from the government here: CBD is Schedule I (ACSCN 7350/7360) outside of Epidiolex which is Schedule V (approved only for childhood epilepsy), so it's pretty much illegal for anyone old enough to play in the NFL.

(There's a recent exemption for low concentrations in hemp products, but that's not approved for ingestion and refining/distilling such products remains illegal.)
This isn’t correct. The “recent exemption,” which was included in last year’s farm bill, is actually quite broad and provides a path to legal manufacture and possession of THC-free (<0.3%) products that contain CBD.

Legal sale and distribution remains an obstacle, because the FDA takes the position that CBD is an impermissible ingredient in food and dietary supplements. Needless to say, a lot of companies either disagree with that position or believe they have found a workaround. Enforcement has been spotty and has focused mostly on products that claim to cure, prevent, or treat diseases.

Enforcement policy aside, however, these are legal issues for sellers of CBD products; it’s not illegal to possess or use and adulterated food or supplement. (That said, there has been some confusion on the part of law enforcement — I wouldn’t bring CBD products to an airport or other location where you are subject to search. And there may be states where CBD remains illegal — this is not my area of expertise.)

Swerving back on topic, it’s unclear to me why CBD use would continue to be against NFL rules. I don’t know if that’s a choice on the NFL’s part, a quirk in the way their rules are written, or a practical effect of the way the NFL’s drug tests work (i.e., while CBD use might technically not violate the rules, it might cause a player to test positive for marijuana).
 

Otis Foster

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I have advanced stenosis and sciatica that resisted a laminectomy several years ago. When the stenosis acts up, its hard to stand up straight, not to mention walking any distance. I started using a CBD topical 4-5 months ago. It's not a cure-all, for me at least, but it incrementally reduces the discomfort.

(doesn't do much for sciatica, unfortunately. Years of distance running, you pay the price.)

Anecdotal evidence isn't worth the time one spends poo-pooing it so I offer it for fwiw. If its not useful, move on, but if Gronk is getting dramatic relief from what sounds like an overlay of horrendous injuries, it may all be in his head, but so what? He's functioning pain reduced if not free, and it really doesn't matter how he got there.

But please Gronk don't come back. You have been one of the most exciting players in recent NEP history, and I don't think I'll ever forget the phenomenal diving catch against the Rams, but you've got a lot of money put away, I assume, relative good health and a lot of avenues open to you. Football shouldn't be one of them.
 

Mystic Merlin

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I’d be shocked if he plays again. Even if he wakes up in 9 months with the itch to get back out there, I suspect the money will have to be enough to make it worth his while to jump back in for a year (presumably with training camp and mid week practices informally negotiable).

If some team said ‘here’s 15M salary with a 10M signing bonus, and you can sit out as many practices as you’d like’, maybe he’s receptive come 2020? But the guy who spoke the other day doesn’t seem to be at all close to entertaining a comeback. And if he does, who is making it worth his while?

This doesn’t add up, and I think it’s for the best. What more does he have to prove in football? I - and it seems I’m part of a near consensus on this point - say nothing. He’s recognized as a HOF generational player who always delivered when his teammates needed him most, he’s widely respected and he made great money. Go be Gronk.
 

sodenj5

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I’d be shocked if he plays again. Even if he wakes up in 9 months with the itch to get back out there, I suspect the money will have to be enough to make it worth his while to jump back in for a year (presumably with training camp and mid week practices informally negotiable).

If some team said ‘here’s 15M salary with a 10M signing bonus, and you can sit out as many practices as you’d like’, maybe he’s receptive come 2020? But the guy who spoke the other day doesn’t seem to be at all close to entertaining a comeback. And if he does, who is making it worth his while?

This doesn’t add up, and I think it’s for the best. What more does he have to prove in football? I - and it seems I’m part of a near consensus on this point - say nothing. He’s recognized as a HOF generational player who always delivered when his teammates needed him most, he’s widely respected and he made great money. Go be Gronk.
Gronk isn’t in the Andrew Luck or Megatron pool of players who were very good but may not be HOF good through either cumulative stats or dominance.

Dude is a certified HOFer, probably even first ballot, and arguably the best ever to play his position. He has nothing left to prove on the field.
 

InstaFace

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Gronk isn’t in the Andrew Luck or Megatron pool of players who were very good but may not be HOF good through either cumulative stats or dominance.

Dude is a certified HOFer, probably even first ballot, and arguably the best ever to play his position. He has nothing left to prove on the field.
I agree with your larger point, but... You don't think Megatron is HOF-level good through cumulative stats OR peak-level dominance?

- 9 seasons, averaged 15 games a year
- His AV of 93 puts him ahead of Gronk (82), and while well behind the likes of Moss and Owens, by this metric he's a top-10 WR* in the last 20 years.
- Every eligible WR ahead of him is in the HOF except Isaac Bruce, who was a finalist last year, Torry Holt (semifinalist) and Hines Ward (semifinalist).
- Led the league in receiving yards twice, 2 more top-5, 2 more top-10
- 6x pro bowls, 3x first-team all-pro (!) (Gronk was 5 and 4, respectively)
- Was listed top-6 in "NFL Top 100" 4 years in a row, 2012-2015. In 2014 he was #2, after Peyton but ahead of Brady; same in 2013 except Adrian Johnson was #1 ahead of all of them. Well ahead of Andre Johnson or Larry Fitzgerald in most of those years, which makes him arguably the best-regarded WR in the league.

Point is, he'd make the ballot and discussion, and probably at least make the semis. Very different from Andrew Luck, imo.

* For anyone who played in any part of the 2000s, top 15: Rice (250, 20 years in league), Owens (165, 15yrs), Moss (161, 14), Harrison (161, 13), Wayne (155, 14), Tim Brown (144, 17), Steve Smith (139, 16), I. Bruce (137, 16), C. Carter (135, 16), Andre Reed (133, 16), Fitzgerald (129, 15), A. Johnson (125, 14), Torry Holt (123, 11), Anquan Boldin (118, 14), H. Ward (118, 14).
 

sodenj5

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I agree with your larger point, but... You don't think Megatron is HOF-level good through cumulative stats OR peak-level dominance?

- 9 seasons, averaged 15 games a year
- His AV of 93 puts him ahead of Gronk (82), and while well behind the likes of Moss and Owens, by this metric he's a top-10 WR* in the last 20 years.
- Every eligible WR ahead of him is in the HOF except Isaac Bruce, who was a finalist last year, Torry Holt (semifinalist) and Hines Ward (semifinalist).
- Led the league in receiving yards twice, 2 more top-5, 2 more top-10
- 6x pro bowls, 3x first-team all-pro (!) (Gronk was 5 and 4, respectively)
- Was listed top-6 in "NFL Top 100" 4 years in a row, 2012-2015. In 2014 he was #2, after Peyton but ahead of Brady; same in 2013 except Adrian Johnson was #1 ahead of all of them. Well ahead of Andre Johnson or Larry Fitzgerald in most of those years, which makes him arguably the best-regarded WR in the league.

Point is, he'd make the ballot and discussion, and probably at least make the semis. Very different from Andrew Luck, imo.

* For anyone who played in any part of the 2000s, top 15: Rice (250, 20 years in league), Owens (165, 15yrs), Moss (161, 14), Harrison (161, 13), Wayne (155, 14), Tim Brown (144, 17), Steve Smith (139, 16), I. Bruce (137, 16), C. Carter (135, 16), Andre Reed (133, 16), Fitzgerald (129, 15), A. Johnson (125, 14), Torry Holt (123, 11), Anquan Boldin (118, 14), H. Ward (118, 14).
Megatron is a dude that was absolutely dominant for his era, but didn’t rack up huge cumulative numbers and never won any games of importance. For as good as he was, the Lions were always mediocre.

It’s an interesting discussion of dominance vs longevity. I think he certainly gets consideration, but in the end, I feel like his stats won’t stack up. 50th in career TDs, 22nd in career receiving TDs, 30th in career receiving yards, 44th in career receptions.

You’re probably accurate in that he has a much better shot than Luck, but isn’t on the same plane as Gronk who not only dominated but racked up insane totals for his position while winning multiple championships.
 

Kliq

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Megatron is a dude that was absolutely dominant for his era, but didn’t rack up huge cumulative numbers and never won any games of importance. For as good as he was, the Lions were always mediocre.

It’s an interesting discussion of dominance vs longevity. I think he certainly gets consideration, but in the end, I feel like his stats won’t stack up. 50th in career TDs, 22nd in career receiving TDs, 30th in career receiving yards, 44th in career receptions.

You’re probably accurate in that he has a much better shot than Luck, but isn’t on the same plane as Gronk who not only dominated but racked up insane totals for his position while winning multiple championships.
It is an interesting discussion. I was thinking that Megatron should be a slam dunk candidate, but how voters evaluate his career moving forward will be interesting as more guys in the pass happy era surpass him in counting stats. Assuming they all have normal trajectories for the rest of their careers, Antonio Brown, Julio Jones, and perhaps AJ Green are going to surpass Johnson's career totals, and Brown and Jones also have peaks to rival Megatron. Then you have the group of guys a few years younger, OBJ, Mike Evans, Michael Thomas, DeAndre Hopkins, etc. some of whom will also surely surpass Johnson and also have peaks to rival Johnson. I don't know how Hall of Fame voters will evaluate Johnson when compared to all those guys, and how they evaluate the inflation of receiving stats.

If you were there at the time, it felt like Johnson was the undisputed best wide receiver alive for a good period of time, but he only made 3x All-Pro so how long was that period of time really? He had the two godly seasons in 2011 and 2012, but outside of that had some very good, but not necessarily unbelievable years.
 

Euclis20

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Johnson's reputation among players was incredible. Here are his annual NFL top 100 rankings for the last 5 years of his career:

2011: 27
2012: 3
2013: 3
2014: 2
2015: 6

Compared to Gronk:

2011: n/a
2012: 21
2013: 25
2014: 41
2015: 10
 

Kliq

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Something interesting about Johnson I noticed while parsing through his stats: In his record-setting 2012 year, he had a stretch from games 9-15 where he averaged 156 yards per game and accumulated almost 1,250 yards in eight games. Pretty impressive right? What if though, the Lions only went 1-7 during that stretch and the Lions' 27th ranked defense allowed 27 points or more on 7 occasions? Johnson put up those big numbers, but often did it on a bad team that was chasing the game and had to throw to come back, racking up plenty of garbage numbers.

Now, numbers are numbers and Johnson's name is in the record book, but how does that compare to say Gronk, who in his best seasons didn't have as many receiving yards as Megatron, but played on winning teams that were often trying to run out the clock in the fourth quarter?

One of the reasons Brees has so may passing records, outside of just being amazingly talented, is that for a majority of his career, Brees has played with a poor defense that either surrendered a ton of points, forcing him to throw a lot in the second half, or was incapable of preserving a lead, forcing the Saints to play competitively in games that should have been blowouts. Brady hasn't had to do that nearly as often, which has really allowed Brees to pull ahead of him in a lot of all-time records.
 

Seels

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Those Lions teams forced the ball to Johnson for records. This isn't to diminish what he did, but I watched a lot of Lions games in 2012, and well, winning was not the priority.
 

NortheasternPJ

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Something interesting about Johnson I noticed while parsing through his stats: In his record-setting 2012 year, he had a stretch from games 9-15 where he averaged 156 yards per game and accumulated almost 1,250 yards in eight games. Pretty impressive right? What if though, the Lions only went 1-7 during that stretch and the Lions' 27th ranked defense allowed 27 points or more on 7 occasions? Johnson put up those big numbers, but often did it on a bad team that was chasing the game and had to throw to come back, racking up plenty of garbage numbers.

Now, numbers are numbers and Johnson's name is in the record book, but how does that compare to say Gronk, who in his best seasons didn't have as many receiving yards as Megatron, but played on winning teams that were often trying to run out the clock in the fourth quarter?

One of the reasons Brees has so may passing records, outside of just being amazingly talented, is that for a majority of his career, Brees has played with a poor defense that either surrendered a ton of points, forcing him to throw a lot in the second half, or was incapable of preserving a lead, forcing the Saints to play competitively in games that should have been blowouts. Brady hasn't had to do that nearly as often, which has really allowed Brees to pull ahead of him in a lot of all-time records.
I was expecting something different when looking at stats, but Gronk averaged 15.1 yd/rec vs 15.9 for Johnson. Gronk was 9.9 yd/target vs Johnson's 8.9. Gronk was such a more efficient player than Johnson was and they were close in average yards per reception. Going through Gronk's #'s it's amazing.

People like to compare Gronk to Kelce and others and say they're better receiving TE's Kelce's at 12.9 yd/rec and 9 yd/target. Gronk's efficiency is impressive.
 

Kliq

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I was expecting something different when looking at stats, but Gronk averaged 15.1 yd/rec vs 15.9 for Johnson. Gronk was 9.9 yd/target vs Johnson's 8.9. Gronk was such a more efficient player than Johnson was and they were close in average yards per reception. Going through Gronk's #'s it's amazing.

People like to compare Gronk to Kelce and others and say they're better receiving TE's Kelce's at 12.9 yd/rec and 9 yd/target. Gronk's efficiency is impressive.
The argument for Gronk being better than any other TE he is compared to is that he put up those numbers while also being a beast blocking as a TE; he is the platonic ideal of a TE. Almost all the other guys he is compared too are basically hefty wide receivers; Gronk is easily the most complete player of the elite receiving TEs.
 

soxhop411

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Gronk needs to stay retired. With the stuff he said in this interview, he is already going to have major health issues down the line

Rob Gronkowski endured nine surgeries and multiple injuries to nearly every part of his body during his NFL career.

And that includes his head.

In an interview Wednesday night with NBC News' Philip Mena, the retired New England Patriots tight delved into the impact that nearly two decades of football had on his brain.
Gronkowski admitted he had "mood swings" that he believes were related to brain injuries suffered on the field and told Mena he's currently doing brain exercises that include working on a 750-piece puzzle at his home.

The 30-year-old then shared a rather disturbing detail about how his head was physically affected from the repeated impacts of an NFL career.
"No lie, I felt my head, I used to have liquid," Gronkowski said. "It used to be thick, like, my head used to be thicker -- a centimeter of liquid in some spots. And you'd be like, what the heck? You could put indents in my head."



The ex-tight end didn't share any further details, but it's possible he was dealing with some form of hydrocephalus, which literally translates to "water on the brain" and may result from head trauma.
 

mauf

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It is an interesting discussion. I was thinking that Megatron should be a slam dunk candidate, but how voters evaluate his career moving forward will be interesting as more guys in the pass happy era surpass him in counting stats. Assuming they all have normal trajectories for the rest of their careers, Antonio Brown, Julio Jones, and perhaps AJ Green are going to surpass Johnson's career totals, and Brown and Jones also have peaks to rival Megatron. Then you have the group of guys a few years younger, OBJ, Mike Evans, Michael Thomas, DeAndre Hopkins, etc. some of whom will also surely surpass Johnson and also have peaks to rival Johnson. I don't know how Hall of Fame voters will evaluate Johnson when compared to all those guys, and how they evaluate the inflation of receiving stats.

If you were there at the time, it felt like Johnson was the undisputed best wide receiver alive for a good period of time, but he only made 3x All-Pro so how long was that period of time really? He had the two godly seasons in 2011 and 2012, but outside of that had some very good, but not necessarily unbelievable years.
Hall of Fame voters didn’t historically weigh longevity or team success nearly this heavily. I think Gronk and Megatron are a lot closer than you do. That’s not a knock on Gronk, he’s a pantheon-level TE, but Megatron should’ve been a borderline first-ballot guy who was a slam dunk to get in eventually.

I do think voters are taking a cautious approach toward recent WR classes: Moss and TO were no-brainers, but they’d probably like to have a do-over on Marvin Harrison, and other WRs aren’t getting much support, even though a few have sterling credentials (Isaac Bruce being the most obvious one). I don’t think that trend hurts Gronk, who was a unique talent on a dynastic team (which has historically mattered), but even for him, the emphasis on longevity and counting stats might deny him first-ballot entry, since some voters will (stupidly) rate him below Gonzalez and Gates. (Edit: Stupidly as to Gates. The GOAT TE debate is basically Gonzalez vs Gronk.)
 

joe dokes

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Gronk needs to stay retired. With the stuff he said in this interview, he is already going to have major health issues down the line
He remains as self-aware as ever, without ever having appeared to be selfish or outrageously self-centered. I hope it continues to serve him well in retirement.
 

lexrageorge

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As much as I miss Gronk, the more I read and the more I view those interview clips, the more I hope he stays retired. He gave it his all during his 9 year career; he truly has nothing left to give. Time to heal and move on to the next phase of life.
 

DrewDawg

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Gronk talks to Jeff Howe.


So while speculation continues to swirl around Gronkowski and a potential second chapter in his NFL career, the man himself still sounds at peace with his decision to retire. And it’s not even on Belichick’s radar, which is as important as any other factor in the equation.

Obviously, Gronkowski hasn’t completely ruled out the possibility of playing again as he makes the rounds this week to promote his partnership with CBDMEDIC, and he mentioned that again Friday morning. But studying his comments with an objective eye, it sounds like the longest of all long shots.

“It’s funny,” Gronk said of the speculation. “Because I’m like, even if I didn’t leave the door open and I was like, ‘I’m never playing again,’ I already know wherever I go, people are going to be like, ‘When are you coming back?’ That started happening the day after I said I was done. Everyone is like, ‘OK, when are you coming back?’ I’m like, oh my gosh, all right, so I’m just going to keep the door open then.”
 

RedOctober3829

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Gronk talks to Jeff Howe.

He also debunked the rumor that he needed another back surgery and also said if he wanted to come back he'd have to add 20 lbs(currently at 245) but it would be easy to do. After reading that article, I come away thinking he's physically ready to play football but just doesn't want to at this point. I'm less inclined to believe he's coming back anytime soon.
 

Cotillion

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I think mentally he just doesn't have the drive to put his body and mind through what it needs to do to be game ready.

And there is nothing wrong with not having that drive. It doesn't make him soft, etc. He's accomplished what he's wanted to accomplish.

More power to him getting out when he can.
 

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He also debunked the rumor that he needed another back surgery and also said if he wanted to come back he'd have to add 20 lbs(currently at 245) but it would be easy to do. After reading that article, I come away thinking he's physically ready to play football but just doesn't want to at this point. I'm less inclined to believe he's coming back anytime soon.
I think there’s a convoluted message in the needle he’s trying to thread in at once emphasizing how much pain he had from football and also how healthy he feels because of the CBMEDIC. He’s trying to play up both at the same time.
 

InstaFace

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You know, when I saw those quotes from Gronk's CBD Medic press conference I thought they'd been professionally crafted by a PR person. I didn't realize that they were off the cuff and delivered with a considerable amount of emotion. Watch the minute from 0:45 to 1:45 here, because now having actually seen him say it, I'm actively looking for places where I can take people's money by betting that he isn't returning.

View: https://youtu.be/3gjBRsc-BMo?t=47


I mean, wow. That's Gronk basically crying in front of an audience right there. Doesn't get a lot more sincere than that.
 

Otis Foster

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That's someone who's seen the dark side of the moon, and IMO he's not booking a return trip.

BTW, he looks terrific. Why would a young man with more money in the bank than I can imagine put it all at risk by returning?

Anyway, there's always flag football.
 

BigSoxFan

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You know, when I saw those quotes from Gronk's CBD Medic press conference I thought they'd been professionally crafted by a PR person. I didn't realize that they were off the cuff and delivered with a considerable amount of emotion. Watch the minute from 0:45 to 1:45 here, because now having actually seen him say it, I'm actively looking for places where I can take people's money by betting that he isn't returning.

View: https://youtu.be/3gjBRsc-BMo?t=47


I mean, wow. That's Gronk basically crying in front of an audience right there. Doesn't get a lot more sincere than that.
This is really powerful and he basically Gronk spikes the notion that many hold of him as just a big dumb jock. He’s clearly not.

I’m sure he’s going to feel the pull of the game once the lights turn on in a few days but I see a guy who knows he has to step away. And once you get past the first year, it probably gets a lot easier to remain solid in your retirement commitment. This first year will be tough for him because the team needs a TE and it’s going to be damn good, maybe even SB good.

But Gronk’s body has seen enough. Happy that he had the ability to walk away.
 

Reverend

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You know, when I saw those quotes from Gronk's CBD Medic press conference I thought they'd been professionally crafted by a PR person. I didn't realize that they were off the cuff and delivered with a considerable amount of emotion. Watch the minute from 0:45 to 1:45 here, because now having actually seen him say it, I'm actively looking for places where I can take people's money by betting that he isn't returning.

View: https://youtu.be/3gjBRsc-BMo?t=47


I mean, wow. That's Gronk basically crying in front of an audience right there. Doesn't get a lot more sincere than that.
I would absolutely love it if Gronk turns out to be a “only Nixon could go to China” type on a lot of these issues with respect to pain, recovery, cannabis—all of it.
 

reggiecleveland

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The only thing to bring him back is money.I know this from just moving on from being a college, semi pro hoops guy. One day you wake up and nothing hurts. You try to remember when that last happened. It is really, really hard to describe how fantastic that feels. I can't even compare that to also having a few million in the bank.

This summer I coached summer pro CeBL Canadian league (Champion Sask Rattlers!) and while the first few workouts brought back nostalgic memories of playing, competing; the ice packs, tape, physio schedule, reminded me of the price guys pay. Football especially the NFL is infinitely more dangerous.
 

[icon]

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Realistically, even IF he was to come back (which IMO he's not), that window is capped by Brady's presence with the patriots.

IMO when Brady hangs them up, that will formally close the door for Gronk, likely Edelman.... and possibly Belichick.
 

Marciano490

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This phone call scene is gonna clinch Oscars for everyone involved when Cruise and Tatum portray it in the movie.
 

McBride11

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This phone call scene is gonna clinch Oscars for everyone involved when Cruise and Tatum portray it in the movie.
I feel Damon has inside track for Tb12. Tho Wahlberg may try and fight him for it.

I just look forward to the GWH redux - Do you know how fuckin easy this fah me??
 

Marciano490

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I feel Damon has inside track for Tb12. Tho Wahlberg may try and fight him for it.

I just look forward to the GWH redux - Do you know how fuckin easy this fah me??
Oh man, that’s gonna be heartbreaking when he shouts that at Ben Affleck’s Drew Bledsoe.
 

amarshal2

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I feel Damon has inside track for Tb12. Tho Wahlberg may try and fight him for it.

I just look forward to the GWH redux - Do you know how fuckin easy this fah me??
TB: Hey Peyton, do you like apples?
Peyton: Sure Tom. I like apples. Why?
TB: Well I got 6 rings, how you like dem apples?

Beethoven looked at a piano, and it just made sense to him. He could just play. I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of wood. But when it came to stuff on a football field — reading the defense, making the right throw — I could always just play.

TB: I almost had Randy
Ghost of RW: it’s not your fault
TB: but he was open, running down the sidelines
RW: Tom, listen to me, it’s not your fault
TB: it was just a 70 yard flick, I coulda put it in his bread basket
RW: it’s not your fault kid. The line was terrible.
TB: but it was Randy Moss! And I had him open
RW: it’s not your fault
TB: fuck you it’s not my fault I’m the quarter back
RW: it’s not your fault
TB: <sobs>

TB: Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In 5 years, if you're still playin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Jets tape, still gettin you cage rattled I’ll kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.
RG: What are you talkin' about?
TB: Look, you got some ' that none of us have in a second career as a porn star and CBD salesman. You don't owe it to yourself. You owe it to me. 'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fifty. And I'll still be doing this shit.
RG: You don't know that.
TB: Oh, I don't know that? Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by your locker and pick you up. And we go out we have a catch and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? It's for about ten seconds from when I get here before I’m at your locker. Because I think maybe I'll get there and your locker will be empty. You won't be there. No goodbye, no name plate, no see you later, no nothin'. Just left. I don't know much, but I know that.
 
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Reverend

for king and country
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
TB: Hey Peyton, do you like apples?
Peyton: Sure Tom. I like apples. Why?
TB: Well I got 6 rings, how you like dem apples?

Beethoven looked at a piano, and it just made sense to him. He could just play. I look at a piano, I see a bunch of keys, three pedals, and a box of wood. But when it came to stuff on a football field — reading the defense, making the right throw — I could always just play.

TB: I almost had Randy
Ghost of RW: it’s not your fault
TB: but he was open, running down the sidelines
RW: Tom, listen to me, it’s not your fault
TB: it was just a 70 yard flick, I coulda put it in his bread basket
RW: it’s not your fault kid. The line was terrible.
TB: but it was Randy Moss! And I had him open
RW: it’s not your fault
TB: fuck you it’s not my fault I’m the quarter back
RW: it’s not your fault
TB: <sobs>

TB: Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In 5 years, if you're still playin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Jets tape, still gettin you cage rattled I’ll kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.
RG: What are you talkin' about?
TB: Look, you got some ' that none of us have in a second career as a porn star and CBD salesman. You don't owe it to yourself. You owe it to me. 'Cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fifty. And I'll still be doing this shit.
RG: You don't know that.
TB: Oh, I don't know that? Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by your locker and pick you up. And we go out we have a catch and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? It's for about ten seconds from when I get here before I’m at your locker. Because I think maybe I'll get there and your locker will be empty. You won't be there. No goodbye, no name plate, no see you later, no nothin'. Just left. I don't know much, but I know that.
Who is RW?
 

InstaFace

MDLzera
SoSH Member
Sep 27, 2016
8,591
I thought it was transparently obvious that, seeing as he's doing a parody of the famous scene where Robin Williams and Matt Damon do the whole "it's not your fault" thing, but that Williams is now dead, he was referring to the ghost of Robin Williams.

Who would be far funnier even in his present state than anyone who has to stoop to explain jokes, like I will. But, there ya have it.

In any case, amarshal, that was great work and I laughed my ass off at 4:30am in an airport lounge to the point where groggy people all around me were staring. I would gladly read 20 more of those.
 

amarshal2

Member
SoSH Member
Oct 25, 2005
4,609
I thought it was transparently obvious that, seeing as he's doing a parody of the famous scene where Robin Williams and Matt Damon do the whole "it's not your fault" thing, but that Williams is now dead, he was referring to the ghost of Robin Williams.

Who would be far funnier even in his present state than anyone who has to stoop to explain jokes, like I will. But, there ya have it.

In any case, amarshal, that was great work and I laughed my ass off at 4:30am in an airport lounge to the point where groggy people all around me were staring. I would gladly read 20 more of those.
One more...

Giselle, twirling Tom's hair: Have you had lots of receivers?
TB: I play for Bill Belichick, of course I've had lots of receivers!
GB: But, how many? How many have you thrown a touchdown to?
TB: You wouldn't believe me if I told you
GB: What, why? How many? 5? 6? 8?
TB: I have thrown a TD to 71 different receivers.
GB: You have not thrown a TD to 71 different receivers.
TB: I have. I swear to god.
GB: Do you know their names?
TB: Do I? They're my receivers! Of course I know their names.
GB: What are their names?
TB: Gronky, Randy, Welky, Branchy, Julesy, Murdery, Grahamy, Benjy, Davey, Jamesy, Browny, Christy, Givey, Danny, Faulky, Hogy, Mikey, Cooksy, Brandy, Shaney, Marty, Gaffney, Timmy, Louie, Big eyes, Scottie, Doby, Dicky, Lloydy, Mitchy, Stallsy, Kenny, Woody, Rexy, Dougie, Chaddie, Smithie, Wiggie, Sammie, Hulkie, Brady, Chrissy, Crumpie, Corey, Philly, Dwightie, Marcy, Hayesy, Keshawny, Patty, Tatey, Dwayny, Ashy, LG, Lengly, Floydy, Larry, Camy, Andre, Heathy, Terry, Hoomanawanui, Chucky, Maroney, Matty Mulls, Chaddy, Passy, Thomsy, Tymsy, Wardy, and Joshy.
GB: Say it again.
TB: Gronky, Randy, Welky, Branchy, Julesy, Murdery, Grahamy, Benjy, Davey, Jamesy, Browny, Christy, Givey, Danny, Faulky, Hogy, Mikey, Cooksy, Brandy, Shaney, Marty, Gaffney, Timmy, Louie, Big eyes, Scottie, Doby, Dicky, Lloydy, Mitchy, Stallsy, Kenny, Woody, Rexy, Dougie, Chaddie, Smithie, Wiggie, Sammie, Hulkie, Brady, Chrissy, Crumpie, Corey, Philly, Dwightie, Marcy, Hayesy, Keshawny, Patty, Tatey, Dwayny, Ashy, LG, Lengly, Floydy, Larry, Camy, Andre, Heathy, Terry, Hoomanawanui, Chucky, Maroney, Matty Mulls, Chaddy, Passy, Thomsy, Tymsy, Wardy, and Joshy.
GB: And Tommy?
TB: Tommy? Tom. Not yet. Maybe this year.
GB: can I meet them? I want to meet your receivers.
TB: Of course you can meet my receivers. Well, except for one...

  • Rob Gronkowski (76)
  • Randy Moss (39)
  • Wes Welker (34)
  • Deion Branch (24)
  • Julian Edelman (24)
  • Aaron Hernandez (18)
  • Daniel Graham (17)
  • Benjamin Watson (17)
  • David Patten (16)
  • James White (16)
  • Troy Brown (15)
  • Christian Fauria (13)
  • David Givens (12)
  • Danny Amendola (10)
  • Kevin Faulk (10)
  • Chris Hogan (10)
  • Mike Vrabel (8)
  • Brandin Cooks (7)
  • Brandon LaFell (7)
  • Shane Vereen (7)
  • Martellus Bennett (6)
  • Jabar Gaffney (6)
  • Tim Wright (6)
  • Dion Lewis (5)
  • Reche Caldwell (4)
  • Scott Chandler (4)
  • Aaron Dobson (4)
  • Bethel Johnson (4)
  • Brandon Lloyd (4)
  • Malcolm Mitchell (4)
  • Donte' Stallworth (4)
  • Kenbrell Thompkins (4)
  • Danny Woodhead (4)
  • Rex Burkhead (3)
  • Doug Gabriel (3)
  • Chad Jackson (3)
  • Antowain Smith (3)
  • Jermaine Wiggins (3)
  • Sam Aiken (2)
  • Brandon Bolden (2)
  • Kyle Brady (2)
  • Chris Baker (2)
  • Alge Crumpler (2)
  • Corey Dillon (2)
  • Phillip Dorsett (2)
  • Tim Dwight (2)
  • Marc Edwards (2)
  • Donald Hayes (2)
  • Keshawn Martin (2)
  • Cordarrelle Patterson (2)
  • Brandon Tate (2)
  • Dwayne Allen (1)
  • Tom Ashworth (1)
  • LaGarrette Blount (1)
  • Matt Lengel (1)
  • Michael Floyd (1)
  • Larry Centers (1)
  • Cam Cleeland (1)
  • Andre' Davis (1)
  • Heath Evans (1)
  • Terry Glenn (1)
  • Michael Hoomanawanui (1)
  • Charles Johnson (1)
  • Laurence Maroney (1)
  • Mathew Mulligan (1)
  • Chad Ochocinco (1)
  • Patrick Pass (1)
  • David Thomas (1)
  • Brian Tyms (1)
  • Dedric Ward (1)
  • Josh Gordon (1)
 
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