Which brings us to the Falcons’ opponents: the New England Patriots and the city of Boston. The
yapping has already begun from up Fenway way about how the Falcons aren’t a worthy opponent for the exalted Patriots. It’s straight-up trolling, sure, but every once in awhile you need to wade into the muck and separate the alternative facts from the gospel truth.
Atlanta, the TV show, is better than every Wahlberg’s career output combined.
Now, we could say “I’m drunk. I’m stupid. I’m a Pats fan” is a triple redundancy, but let’s just stick with objective reality. Chick Fil-A and Waffle House are better than Dunkin Donuts. OutKast is better than Aerosmith. Pork barbecue is better than clam chowder.
Sweetwater is better than
Sam Adams.
Sure, Boston has armloads of championship trophies. We respect that haul. Of course, we’d respect it a lot more if Boston mouthpieces didn’t bleat about said championships at every opportunity. (For the record, Boston, we think Brady got shafted in deflategate, and we were pulling for the Red Sox back in ’04, but y’all are
impossible to love for very long.)
So, to wrap: we see you, Boston. We know what you’re hiding behind all that bluster and attitude. You’ll never be as lovely as Atlanta in the springtime. You’ll never be as effortlessly cool as Austin, as star-laden as South Beach, as tough as Philly. No matter how many rings you win, Boston, you’ll never be New York.
We’ve got a hell of a Super Bowl ahead, and if Boston fans aren’t nervous, they ought to be. Tom Brady, for one, isn’t brushing off Atlanta; just hours after beating Pittsburgh, he was up late Sunday night studying the Falcons roster. He knows the magnitude of the challenge he’s about to face, and in two Sundays, Boston will too. Atlanta’s been waiting 50 years for this moment.
See y’all in Houston.