Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

[Leather]

He clearly thinks cinematography is some artsy fartsy aspect of movies. I'd be shocked if he didn't think most "real movies" (i.e ones that heterosexual men watch and that you don't have to wallow into some small Greenwich Village (that's in MANHATTAN) theatre to see) are shot with one or two cameras that don't move.

 

[ifmanis5]

I take it he's never seen a Steadicam shot? They've been in movies since Rocky (1976). If he'd like to know more (which he never does) he could write about Garrett Brown (which he won't).

 

[E5 Yaz]

My favorite was his taking credit for being first with the notion that the Eagles might try to trade for Mariotta. He wrote about it last week, about a month later than when we first started hearing about it.

 

[joe dokes]

So the trip was New York to London, JFK to Heathrow, through Reykjavik, on Tuesday evening. We had a fairly quick connection, 45 minutes, on the way over, and so we had to hustle off the plane to make the connection. One problem: I’d fallen asleep after finishing the LeSean McCoy-to-Buffalo column top for my Wednesday column with my cell phone in my lap, and so when we landed, my cell phone had disappeared. “You have to find it!” said one of the flight attendants, on her knees, looking for it under the seats. “The cell phone, it is your life!” After a few minutes of looking, two of the flight attendants said we’d better go, because we’d miss our plane, and I quickly figured, painfully, that the 787 phone numbers in the memory could be replaced (I need to save them daily, not semi-monthly), and I’d get going. “If we find it, we’ll get it to you on your connection!’’ one of the women said. All the flight attendants were from Iceland. Quite accommodating and friendly, as it turned out.
Dejected, I walked to the gate for Heathrow. The London flight was leaving in 20 minutes. I hate replacing cell phones. Monstrous pain. We were second in line for the connection when one of the flight attendants rushed up and said, “We found it! So happy we found you!”
Thanks, Icelandair. I’ll be back.
 

 
How does one lose a phone -- on his lap -- on an airplane, other than flushing it down the toilet.
How does he know the flight attendants were all from Iceland.
 

Skip this section if you don’t care, but for those who wonder what Iceland is like, I was outside for about three minutes on Saturday. Three minutes in March, anywhere, is an absurd period of time to judge any place, but here was my snapshot: The sleet pelted my face sideways, the wind whipped at 30 mph minimum, and the darkened sky look menacing. An hour later, as we taxied to leave, the sun was out, and it was setting. I loved it. A totally different world.
 

 
Dont you usually have to go past security to get outside in airports these days? So he went back thru security to get three minutes of that Iceland experience?
 

Beernerdness: If you have a chance to try Einstok Icelandic White Ale, do it.
 

 
And many other ways this story smells like he just wants to say something "cute" about Iceland, where he wants to visit sometime, but didn't this time (and probably never will).

 

[ifmanis5]

How does one lose a phone -- on his lap -- on an airplane, other than flushing it down the toilet.
How does he know the flight attendants were all from Iceland.

His lap is like a deep-cushioned couch full of mountains, valleys and folds- there's lots of room to lose stuff. He can probably keep a small fridge in his lap without noticing. I bet he's still got old press passes from the 90's and Roger's BBQ leftovers in the folds of his panis. No need for a fanny pack, just chuck it there in the folds.

 

[joe dokes]

His lap is like a deep-cushioned couch full of mountains, valleys and folds- there's lots of room to lose stuff. He can probably keep a small fridge in his lap without noticing. I bet he's still got old press passes from the 90's and Roger's BBQ leftovers in the folds of his panis. No need for a fanny pack, just chuck it there in the folds.

 
If "panis" is a word, I never heard it before.  If it's a sniglet referring to a particular area of the pants where large-ish men might misplace stuff, then its brilliant!
"Peter's phone was last seen near his panis.  The Icelandic flight attendants looked about nervously when he asked for help."

 

[Seonachan]

 
How does he know the flight attendants were all from Iceland.
 
 
Dont you usually have to go past security to get outside in airports these days? So he went back thru security to get three minutes of that Iceland experience?

 
Well, all their flight attendants speak Icelandic, which isn't a language commonly learned by non-Icelanders. And he was probably outside going from the plane to the shuttle bus on the tarmac.
 
None of which, of course, mitigates King's idiocy.

 

[ifmanis5]

If "panis" is a word, I never heard it before. 

It's a (Urban Dictionary) word. Start Googling if you dare.

 

[joe dokes]

 
Well, all their flight attendants speak Icelandic, which isn't a language commonly learned by non-Icelanders. And he was probably outside going from the plane to the shuttle bus on the tarmac.
 
None of which, of course, mitigates King's idiocy.

probably correct on all counts.

 

[DJnVa]

So, if they found his cell phone, it clearly wasn't stolen---how fucking far could it have fallen when he shifted while sleeping?

 

[Import78]

It's a (Urban Dictionary) word. Start Googling if you dare.

 
It is also a medical term, at least at my hospital.

 

[yecul]

Most likely scenario, if he lost it at all, is that he was at fault and is a moron who couldn't find his phone. He complained loudly and made a scene. The stewardess then opened the seat pocket or saw it sitting on the floor and pointed it out. The rest is bullshit. Right? It's gotta be.
 
[SIZE=13.63636302948px]He makes up quotes, right? This is either pathetic or she said nothing of the sort. He is probably transposing his assumption that everyone knows who he is to understand the importance of the phone. Schefter's phone... that's probably important. King doesn't really do reporting and gets fed info. He's not working that cell.[/SIZE]
 
“The cell phone, it is your life!” 

 

[RIFan]

Guaranteed for next week.
"Just learned about this thing called the Cloud. All your phone contents get backed up to it so you don't lose your contacts. I recommend that everyone look into this."

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

The cell phone quote is obviously made up.

A. Who says things like that?
B. Why would she assume that King's life is dependent on that phone?

Unless King made a huge scene, using those exact words, and she was being facetious.

 

[joe dokes]

Most likely scenario, if he lost it at all, is that he was at fault and is a moron who couldn't find his phone. He complained loudly and made a scene. The stewardess then opened the seat pocket or saw it sitting on the floor and pointed it out. The rest is bullshit. Right? It's gotta be.
 
[SIZE=13.63px]He makes up quotes, right? This is either pathetic or she said nothing of the sort. He is probably transposing his assumption that everyone knows who he is to understand the importance of the phone. Schefter's phone... that's probably important. King doesn't really do reporting and gets fed info. He's not working that cell.[/SIZE]
 
“The cell phone, it is your life!” 

 
 
 
Or *he* said, (shrieking, panis aflutter) "it's my life," and the flight attendant said, "it's your life?!"

 

[Trlicek's Whip]

Peter King IS The Onion's "Area Man"

 

[JohntheBaptist]

The cell phone quote is obviously made up.

A. Who says things like that?
B. Why would she assume that King's life is dependent on that phone?

Unless King made a huge scene, using those exact words, and she was being facetious.

 
When I was in high school one summer I worked on a lobster boat out of Bridgeport, CT and the local newspaper wanted to do a little story on me. They had this 80-yr old local guy interview me, and he essentially took what I said in answer to his questions and just made up a bunch of quotes to say the same thing I said... differently, I guess. He asked me about any storms, for instance, and suddenly in print I, at 17, was quoted saying things like "We surely were rocking and rolling out there on the high seas." It was hilarious, no one talks like that, much less a 17 year old.
 
Anyway, those stewardess quotes reminded me a lot of the old lobster boat ones. They seem, to me, to be implying that the stewardesses knew who he was and how important his phone/ contacts would be to his job. No chance that's what they said.

 

[joe dokes]

 
 
Anyway, those stewardess quotes reminded me a lot of the old lobster boat ones. They seem, to me, to be implying that the stewardesses knew who he was and how important his phone/ contacts would be to his job. No chance that's what they said.

 
er bara sími   ("its just a phone")
 
I'm sure the Bronco fan he met on the plane (who meets people on a plane that aren't seated next to them?) set those flight attendants straight.

 

[SLC Sox]

Couldn't they have just had someone call it and locate it immediately?  It is, after all, a phone.

 

[Reverend]

Couldn't they have just had someone call it and locate it immediately?  It is, after all, a phone.

 
Well, if he lost it while he was asleep, it must have been in airplane mode. Which also means he must have been using it for something else.
 
My guess: He types his columns on his smart phone.

 

[SLC Sox]

 
Well, if he lost it while he was asleep, it must have been in airplane mode. Which also means he must have been using it for something else.
 
My guess: He types his columns on his smart phone.

 
Ah yes, you are probably right.  Would it surprise anyone, though, if King is the type to refuse to put his phone on airplane mode during a flight?

 

[SydneySox]

So just to make a point.
 
He's actually praised someone in a service industry for their work today. Which is good.
 
But of course, in the Curt Schilling style of the ends clouding the means, he's done it by framing the entire thing dishonestly through obviously choosing to leave out half of the conversation. As is the case with every story you read with direct quotes, you have to be aware that you're not seeing the questions or circumstances that lead to them being uttered. Here, it's pretty clear that all the things attributed to her were in response to levels of varying panic and self important blustering from King. Yecul obviously nailed that, I just wanted to reiterate it.
 
Put yourself now, on that plane, with the helpful Icelandic Air stewards. You're standing behind this big fat American... if you're not American you're narrowing your eyes and confirming unfair stereotypes and if you are American you're gritting your teeth that this buffoon is the advertisment for your country that isn't a true representative but is certainly a true stereotype of the American traveller... as he directs them to crawl around and look for his phone. How many times do you think he mentioned how important that phone was to him, and the 787 phone numbers in it, and how much he needed it and how he was so tired after working all flight and how he doesn't have much time? As the very helpful people crawled around looking for it and the line of people behind him stood with that travellers' glassy eyed tired thousand yard stare?
 
I just find this to be perfect, really.
 
He actually has, to his credit, broken his usual MO by praising someone in the service industry; but of course it's being done with this whole awareness of what they did. Literally crawling on hands and knees as he stood sighing and directing them into various uncomfortable places.
 
Also, I further enjoy that losing his phone, a thing that genuinely frustrates every one of us, got a write up. Just say "I lost my phone and that sucks" instead of "it's such a pain to replace!". We know. We all have phones. Actually, most of us have to pay if we lose them. We know you don't; we know for you it's just about calling some poor administrative assistant from your inevitable 5 star hotel in a tourist trap and asking them to co-ordinate its delivery at your suite.
 
Fuck this guy.

 

[E5 Yaz]

Couldn't they have just had someone call it and locate it immediately?  It is, after all, a phone.

 
Hey, I saw that on CSI!

 

[joe dokes]

 
Hey, I saw that on CSI!

Put yourself now, on that plane, with the helpful Icelandic Air stewards. You're standing behind this big fat American... if you're not American you're narrowing your eyes and confirming unfair stereotypes and if you are American you're gritting your teeth that this buffoon is the advertisment for your country that isn't a true representative but is certainly a true stereotype of the American traveller... as he directs them to crawl around and look for his phone. How many times do you think he mentioned how important that phone was to him, and the 787 phone numbers in it, and how much he needed it and how he was so tired after working all flight and how he doesn't have much time? As the very helpful people crawled around looking for it and the line of people behind him stood with that travellers' glassy eyed tired thousand yard stare?
 
 
 
 

 
 
Ha! I was thinking CSI, too, as I read Sydney's post (the second one quoted). But in a different way. One of the first few episodes way back in season1 involved passengers getting together and kiling a fellow passenger behaving badly.  The evidence pointed to everyone and no one.
 
 
EDIT: and here it is:  http://csi.wikia.com/wiki/Unfriendly_Skies

 

[pappymojo]

"It's early in the morning, you need your coffee!" said the barista as she steamed the milk for my morning fix. "You live in Manhattan and pay good money!" she continued talking as I casually and nonchalantly looked at the newest Sheryl Crow cd that was available by the cash register.

 

[Just a bit outside]

I remember when I lost my phone for 3 min in my living room. Worst 3 min of my life.

 

[Corsi]

 
Hey, I saw that on CSI!

 
"Should've dialed M....for Manhattan.  YEAAHHHHHHHHH"  /caruso
 

 

[JohntheBaptist]

That picture can't appear in this thread often enough. It should be the forum banner even.

 

[CoffeeNerdness]

This douche is due for a Brian Williams type fact checking.  Iceland is such a small, insular nation that's it's not an unrealistic notion that someone could contact this flight attendant to see what level of bullshit this story is.  There's even an app for Icelanders to cross check potential love interests so they don't make the mistake of keeping it too much in the family.  It couldn't be too hard to track her down.
 
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/kissing-cousins-icelandic-app-warns-if-your-date-is-a-relative-1.1390256

 

[OCST]

Peter King IS The Onion's "Area Man"

Excellent.

 

[Skeesix]

This douche is due for a Brian Williams type fact checking.  Iceland is such a small, insular nation that's it's not an unrealistic notion that someone could contact this flight attendant to see what level of bullshit this story is.  There's even an app for Icelanders to cross check potential love interests so they don't make the mistake of keeping it too much in the family.  It couldn't be too hard to track her down.
 
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/kissing-cousins-icelandic-app-warns-if-your-date-is-a-relative-1.1390256

I have a very difficult time seeing how this would hurt King more than the flight attendant.

 

[Average Reds]

This douche is due for a Brian Williams type fact checking.  Iceland is such a small, insular nation that's it's not an unrealistic notion that someone could contact this flight attendant to see what level of bullshit this story is.  There's even an app for Icelanders to cross check potential love interests so they don't make the mistake of keeping it too much in the family.  It couldn't be too hard to track her down.
 
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/kissing-cousins-icelandic-app-warns-if-your-date-is-a-relative-1.1390256

Understand and appreciate the sentiment but short of wide-scale fabrication, King is somewhat immune to fact checking.

Hell, the guy was caught passing along outright lies about Janay Palmer as recently as last summer and it had zero impact on him.

The issue is that in order to lose your credibility you have to have it in the first place.

 

[joe dokes]

This douche is due for a Brian Williams type fact checking.  Iceland is such a small, insular nation that's it's not an unrealistic notion that someone could contact this flight attendant to see what level of bullshit this story is.  There's even an app for Icelanders to cross check potential love interests so they don't make the mistake of keeping it too much in the family.  It couldn't be too hard to track her down.
 
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/kissing-cousins-icelandic-app-warns-if-your-date-is-a-relative-1.1390256

 
 
FWIW--I spent a few minutes playing with the airline's reservations; while there are plenty of Tuesday-Saturday-JFK -Heathrow- via Rejkyavik, the *scheduled* layovers are all at least 1:30 in both directions.  Doesn't say much, I suppose, as delays can certainly cut into that, but his wording -- no mention of delays -- implies the 45 minutes was scheduled. (45 minutes is also not an especially "quick connection" if you land on time).  The phone was in his lap.  Unless he had an otter box made of Super Balls, it would have to be in a roughly 1 foot radius of his feet. This whole thing smells like bad lutefisk.

 

[Leather]

Understand and appreciate the sentiment but short of wide-scale fabrication, King is somewhat immune to fact checking.

Hell, the guy was caught passing along outright lies about Janay Palmer as recently as last summer and it had zero impact on him.

The issue is that in order to lose your credibility you have to have it in the first place.

 
The issue is that "Sports Journalism" hasn't been treated as real journalism by most of those who practice it in decades.   
 
Years ago someone, it might have been King in fact, made a big deal of pointing out that he doesn't root for teams, he only roots for "the story".  All else being equal, that would seem to be good policy to remaining neutral and, presumably, intellectually honest.  The problem is, the focus on getting "the story" has now gone too far in the other direction, where the concern for teams and players (or barristas or plane attendants) is so marginalized that they are merely props in a puppet show being orchestrated by the writer or publication.  It's a noxious blend of yellow journalism and flat out bullshit with just enough facts (usually in the form of indisputable statistics and contract figures) thrown in to give it a sheen of accurate and diligent reporting.  
 
This is what the internet hath wrought.  Not in the form of blogs "ruining" sports journalism as the Kings and Shanks of the world would have you believe, but rather the established writers, the Sports Illustrated and ESPNs of the world, getting desperate for clicks and lowering their own standards to try and keep up with what they think blogs represent: a dumbing down of following sports.  Instead of recognizing that most bloggers (like Deadspin) exist totally apart from actual beat writers and established sports columnists, and succeed not because of their lack of standards but rather because they offer fan-level commentary that compliments traditional media, the Old Guard simply reduced it's own standards.  They learned the wrong lesson.   It's a huge irony that most sports fans I know trust Deadspin to be unbiased (when appropriate) more than SI or ESPN.  
 
Yet while the quality is gone, the ego remains.  At heart, Peter King's MMQB is nothing more than a professional facebook account.

 

[3rd Degree]

Peter King ‏@SI_PeterKing  1m1 minute ago
RT @Rap_Sheeet: BREAKING: @Patriots and CB Darrelle Revis are closing in on a 4y/61M deal ... Great scoop, Ian.
 
Peter got duped by an obviously fake Ian Rapoport account.

 

[Van Everyman]

Hard to believe PK would trust a source that was lying to him. Not his style.

 

[joe dokes]

King gets totallly used by Winston's people
http://mmqb.si.com/2015/03/11/jameis-winston-roger-goodell-nfl-trades-free-agency-retirement/
 

But in the greatest example in recent journalism history of “burying the lead,” I’m going to start this morning with the surprise meeting in New York City last week between commissioner Roger Goodell and a player whose name he’ll be announcing very early in the first round of the 2015 NFL Draft.

Last Thursday, Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston, the odds-on favorite to be the number one pick in the draft on April 30, spent five to six hours inside the NFL offices on Park Avenue in Manhattan. He wanted Goodell to hear the Jameis Winston story from Jameis Winston and not from anyone else. He didn’t spend all the time with Goodell. He also met with NFL executive vice president of football operations Troy Vincent, and got a primer from league officials in several meetings about the resources he could use on and off the field once he’s drafted.​

 
Winston was not summoned to see Goodell because of his checkered background off the field. In fact, it was Winston who initiated the meeting back in January.
The backstory: One of Winston’s agents, Greg Genske, told me Tuesday that once Winston declared for the draft he wanted to meet with Goodell, both to tell his own story and to get the lay of the land about his future in the league. Sometime in February, Goodell agreed to meet Winston. That meeting occurred last week. As Genske said, it was more of an informational/educational meeting than anything else—though Winston did get his chance to tell his story to Goodell.
“He went out of his way to make a good impression, and to show that he understood what was going to be expected of him in the NFL,” one league executive who participated in one of the series of meetings said Tuesday night.
Winston, of course, had several off-field issues at Florida State, including being accused but not charged with sexual assault; shoplifting; and yelling out an obscenity in the student union, which cost him a one-game suspension. But the league people I spoke with Tuesday made it clear that Winston made a smart decision in pushing to meet Goodell and establishing a relationship with him.
 

 
See, other NFL teams, he's really not such a bad kid, SAID HIS AGENT.
 
(sorry about the format, not sure what went wrong...)
 

 

[Leather]

The NFL offices...On Park Avenue...IN MANHATTAN!
 
King merely scratching Winston's back (and the NFL's, again) to set up his own access for years to come.

 

[joe dokes]

I wonder what King would do if he got word that Winston's rape accuser was talking to the Commish (or trying to).

 

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

Nice fluff job. Why he needed to basically tell the story twice, I'm not sure, and "burying the lead" is an understatement. 
 
Who in fuck could possibly care about Jameis fucking Winston meeting with the commissioner after what's got to be the most exciting free agent day in NFL history? I can't even figure out how he could justify it. 
 
Who cares about that story?

 

[joe dokes]

Nice fluff job. Why he needed to basically tell the story twice, I'm not sure, and "burying the lead" is an understatement. 
 
Who in fuck could possibly care about Jameis fucking Winston meeting with the commissioner after what's got to be the most exciting free agent day in NFL history? I can't even figure out how he could justify it. 
 
Who cares about that story?

 
 

.....One of Winston’s agents, Greg Genske told me Tuesday.....
 

 

[Corsi]

Who in fuck could possibly care about Jameis fucking Winston meeting with the commissioner after what's got to be the most exciting free agent day in NFL history? I can't even figure out how he could justify it.

It wasn't the most exciting free agent day in history; it was the strangest.

https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/575826059544887296
link to tweet

 

[tims4wins]

Why would he tweet that at 9pm last night when the article was about Tuesday's activity? Or is that the point of you posting the tweet?

 

[Corsi]

Why would he tweet that at 9pm last night when the article was about Tuesday's activity? Or is that the point of you posting the tweet?

 
Check my edit.

 

[tims4wins]

 
Check my edit.

 
Gotcha. I love that the meeting wasn't even on Tuesday. If the meeting occurred Tuesday then I guess I could understand why he would choose to write about it yesterday. Otherwise why not wait until next week? Or write about it a week earlier? I know, I am asking rhetorical questions with no basis in reason.

 

[GeorgeCostanza]

I know, I am asking rhetorical questions with no basis in reason.

Nothing could be more fitting in the PK thread.

 

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

Is strange the new weird?

 

[mt8thsw9th]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/peter-king-realizes-fight-with-wife-really-about-d,38213/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1efault

 

[ifmanis5]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/peter-king-realizes-fight-with-wife-really-about-d,38213/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1efault

That locator is obviously wrong. Needs to be Midtown Manhattan.

 

[twibnotes]

Fantastic

The Onion: Peter King Realizes Fight With Wife Really About Disappointment In Raiders’ Offseason Moves

http://www.theonion.com/articles/peter-king-realizes-fight-with-wife-really-about-d,38213/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Default:2efault
 
edit: whoops - sorry about that...