Disclosure - High School coach and father of 5, 3 boys who played HS football, 2 college football and 1 college lacrosse. All 3 were recruited by D3 or Ivies and went to much better colleges as a result. I am also a physician.
Football today is much different then even 5 years ago. I coach for a very competitive football program in a state where football is not life -- CT. Practice is now about drills, teaching, form tackling and blocking, strategy and repetition of plays. There is no 100% live scrimmaging. As a result, we have 0, 1 or 2 concussions per year in practice for a varsity program of 60 players. And none of those are concussions have been anything more than low grade. This compares to 5 years ago where the number would have been 10 and 10 years ago where the number would have been 30.
In games, there are an additional 5-6 concussions per season in my estimation. Of course, this is harder to control but not impossible. I am a firm believer that every time a helmet is the initial point of contact that a flag should be thrown. Unfortunately, these hits are flagged about 20% of the time in our league. Also, unfortunately I think among coaches I am in the minority, albeit growing minority, that this should consistently draw a flag (and yes it is in the rules). Why flag it? And isn't it unavoidable sometimes. Many times a flag is thrown regarding helmet to helmet contact, I hear -- the player was going down and it couldn't be avoided. Really? Then why are you hitting a player who is going down and certainly why are you hitting him in the head. In addition, intent is immaterial except that in the very rare instance whan a player truly intends to hit another above the neck, and in that case they should be tossed.
So we have come a long way way --- but there is still a long way to go.
On the positives of football. My 3 sons would tell you that of everything they have done in their lives up to this point (all under 25 and unmarried) football has been the most demanding, but most rewarding thing they have ever done. It teaches a level of commitment that is rare in today's society. It requires hard work for many hours with a reward that is 99.9% realized only by the participant and his teammates. The dedication required far exceeds the external rewards. This is invaluable to young men as they enter their productive professional portion of their lives. Players typically leave football with 20 or so lifelong friends.
A well coached football team is a family and teaches important family values and like a family provides both lifelong friends and a support system. Ask any employer who is given the choice between hiring 2 identical candidates, one a dedicated athlete and especially football player vs. the general population, they would choose the football player because of the ability to work as a member of a team.
So for the 70% who won't allow your children to play football, you mean well and are trying to be good parents, but you are robbing them of a tremendous opportunity to reach their potential. Instead get involved and work with people who are involved coaching your children to make sure they properly protect every athlete. It goes far beyond proper equipment and extends to teaching safe fundamental skills in a controlled environment.