Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

[Leather]

I'm sure Uncle Andy would be proud that his nephew's takeaway from his funeral, which highlighted Andy's dedication to service to his country, was that flags and taps and uniforms are cool.

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

Gosh, don't you just LOVE military funerals? One of my favorite events to attend!

 
It's amazing how self-absorbed King can be. He made a funeral all about him -- and he wasn't even in the box. His description is akin to his sojourns to the University of Virginia or the owners' box at Fenway or going to London. He is so god damn tone deaf.
 
"Hey gang, if you can get to a military funeral, take my advice and go! The pageantry -- they played the Star Spangled Banner! In a CHURCH! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? The gifts! A war widow got a really neat American flag! I wish that my wife served in the Armed Forces! And the music! Have you ever heard, The [sic] Taps being played? How about at a funeral? Let me tell you, it's an amazing thing! Real life-affirming stuff in there! Loved every minute of it. A+ experience!"

 

[ifmanis5]

I think we all know Peter will be buried with his Evo Shield and a folded up Favre jersey.

 

[joe dokes]

 
It's amazing how self-absorbed King can be. He made a funeral all about him -- and he wasn't even in the box. His description is akin to his sojourns to the University of Virginia or the owners' box at Fenway or going to London. He is so god damn tone deaf.
 
"Hey gang, if you can get to a military funeral, take my advice and go! The pageantry -- they played the Star Spangled Banner! In a CHURCH! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? The gifts! A war widow got a really neat American flag! I wish that my wife served in the Armed Forces! And the music! Have you ever heard, The [sic] Taps being played? How about at a funeral? Let me tell you, it's an amazing thing! Real life-affirming stuff in there! Loved every minute of it. A+ experience!"

 
Meanwhile, we get not a word describing Uncle Andy. Was he one of the dwindling # of WWII vets?
 
Somewhere along the way, he has taken the fact that football fans like(d) his personal takes on football matters on which he might actually possess some pertinent insight ("wow, player X really looks to be bouncing back from injury" or "Coach X has some new ideas..")  to mean that his personal takes on other matters are meaningful.

 

[JimD]

 
 
 
When's this turd gonna realize that hotel coffee sucks? 
 
 

 
You know, I was going to stay at that hotel - it has a four-star rating and solid reviews on TripAdvisor, I've had good experiences at other Towne Place properties, the price is right, it's a quick drive off the highway and has good dining options nearby ... and then I discovered from Peter King that the free hotel coffee isn't really that good.  Ah well ... back to the drawing board.

 

[joe dokes]

The usual good job has been done by editor Aaron Schatz and his Football Outsiders crew (Mike Tanier, Doug Farrar, Jason Lisk, Christopher Price, Chase Stuart) on “Football Outsiders Alamanac 2014.’’
 

He could use an editorator.

 

[Granite Sox]

Manziel = Favre2.0 to King; potential meal ticket.
 
I thought the random quotes from the staffer that was traveling with them were pretty funny... until the last one: "Benoit, who is woefully uneducated when it comes to rock music, on Springsteen:"
 
:barf:  :barf:  :barf:
 
But the Chip Kelly Wisdom of the Week... seriously?  Where's the wisdom?  Who gives a sh_t about depth charts in pre-season?
 
And I've mentioned it before, but his obsession with bodily fluids ("He projectile-vomited, and he threw a dime.  Who does that?") is just... wait for it... Weird.

 

[Reverend]

 
It's amazing how self-absorbed King can be. He made a funeral all about him -- and he wasn't even in the box. His description is akin to his sojourns to the University of Virginia or the owners' box at Fenway or going to London. He is so god damn tone deaf.
 
"Hey gang, if you can get to a military funeral, take my advice and go! The pageantry -- they played the Star Spangled Banner! In a CHURCH! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? The gifts! A war widow got a really neat American flag! I wish that my wife served in the Armed Forces! And the music! Have you ever heard, The [sic] Taps being played? How about at a funeral? Let me tell you, it's an amazing thing! Real life-affirming stuff in there! Loved every minute of it. A+ experience!"

 
As per DPU's post, I'm left with "That was fucking weird," except not out of laziness but because I've scoured my vocabulary and... this is just fucking weird.
 
Who says they loved a funeral? Find it moving. Find it overwhelming. Find it impressive. FInd it imbued with gravitas. Find it meaningful. But love it?
 
Disclosure: At my own father's funeral, per his preference, we went out to The Battle Hymn of the Republic. People were moved. Nobody said they loved it.
 
Fucking weird... it just... it lacks humanity.
 
That's it, isn't it? Peter King, who considers himself a man-of-the-people type, albeit a promethean one bringing us fire, now is so far estranged from normalcy by virtue of his success and the effect getting to hobnob with his football heroes that he's lost perspective on humanity.
 
Which explains his fanbase of unwashed who exalt him--those that buy into his aggrandized state, when really he's on a slightly raised platform installed by his puppet-master gods.
 
I think I get why some people hate professional sports.

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

Who says they loved a funeral? Find it moving. Find it overwhelming. Find it impressive. FInd it imbued with gravitas. Find it meaningful. But love it?
 

 
I think that the problem is everything is an event for Peter King. And he has bought into his whole cult of celebrity where he thinks that everything he does is noteworthy in so much that he thinks that we want his POV on everything. Unfortunately, he's not a skilled enough writer to convey those thoughts. Add to that fact that he's completely self-absorbed and his takes on his personal life are ham-fisted at best but usually tone-deaf. It's the same thing that happens to Simmons when he wanders off the NBA ranch.
 
Their biggest fault is that they don't have an editor to reign them back in. A couple of paragraphs that helped the reader understand what a good guy Uncle Andy was, might have turned King's observation from silly to poignant. But King really, really thinks that we give a shit how a funeral affected HIM and how it made HIM feel. And the effects and his feelings are so shallow, it's unbelievable.
 
I didn't read the piece so maybe he answered this already but how old is Uncle Andy? What war did he fight in? WWII? Korea? Vietnam? I assume he didn't fight in the Middle East. There's a pretty big difference in the wars and how they're perceived.
 
It all started because King wrote about his daughter's softball games while they were in high school. And though those reports blew, he was sticking to his bread-and-butter: sports. Now that he's been emboldened by morons telling him to talk more about his personal life, he's wandering farther and farther away from the stuff that made him what he was. And it has exposed him as the no-talent buffoon we read each week.

 

[joe dokes]

 
 
Their biggest fault is that they don't have an editor to reign them back in. A couple of paragraphs that helped the reader understand what a good guy Uncle Andy was, might have turned King's observation from silly to poignant. But King really, really thinks that we give a shit how a funeral affected HIM and how it made HIM feel. And the effects and his feelings are so shallow, it's unbelievable.
I didn't read the piece so maybe he answered this already but how old is Uncle Andy? What war did he fight in? WWII? Korea? Vietnam? I assume he didn't fight in the Middle East. There's a pretty big difference in the wars and how they're perceived.
 

 
More words about Andy Dalton than Uncle Andy. "Shallow" is the perfect description.  Taps and the Anthem were cool.  It was on the same emotional level as he describes an IPA.    Not, "Andy was never much for spit-and-polish, so he might have appreciated the irony of the full-dress funeral."  Or, "Andy was hospital corners til the day he died.  If those soldiers folding the flag to give to Aunt Nora didn't nail every turn and crease just right he probably would have risen up to give them what-for."
 
 

.I think that the problem is everything is an event for Peter King. And he has bought into his whole cult of celebrity where he thinks that everything he does is noteworthy in so much that he thinks that we want his POV on everything. Unfortunately, he's not a skilled enough writer to convey those thoughts. Add to that fact that he's completely self-absorbed and his takes on his personal life are ham-fisted at best but usually tone-deaf.

 
Even a cup of coffee or some beer that isn't mass-produced is an event.
 
It also reeks of phoniness, and as many here have pointed out, condescension.  When Charles Kuralt, for example, went "On the Road" (before he got pulled over), you got the sense that he was intellectually curious about wherever he was. And *that's* why he was doing it. It was never, "these people to whom I am superior because I'm the big TV guy love my show," which is exactly how King portrayed himself in Canada and in his small town training camp tour. It's not like his columns are devoid of local color.  But whatever sunlight that he may shine onto the local scene for others to see he immediately eclipses with his own planet-sized sense of celebrity self-importance.
 
I wonder if he's a nice guy to be around, or if his writing refletcs his persona?

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

I wonder if he's a nice guy to be around, or if his writing refletcs his persona?
 

 
I bet he's a nice enough guy. And I bet that he's probably pretty generous. But every act of generosity comes with a story. A long, boring, self-absorbed tale about something that King just found out. And you have to sit there and listen to it and smile and nod and agree with him because a. he's your boss and b. he just gave you something kind of cool.
 
I would guarantee that he's probably a good story-teller, but in getting a good chestnut out of him you'd have to listen to at least three really dull ones. "Brett Favre has a horse at his house! An honest-to-goodness horse! Can you believe that! He named it Prickly Pete. And Favre takes the same horse tranquilizers as Prickly Pete every single day. And Pete is a brown mare, but Brett doesn't want to stud him out."
 
Wait. What, Peter?

 

[Leather]

I'd bet almost anything that he's an entertaining enough guy, but only in that way that lots of Big Fish personalities are.  In addition to JMOH's points, which do away with most of it, he's almost certainly completely disinterested in anything that anyone "below him" has to say.   He might act interested in the moment, but invariably gets distracted by a tweet or a phone call, and then, 2 months later, can't remember whether "you're the one with the new kid" or not.
 
He's probably also one of those bosses that thinks that there will never be writers like those in his generation, because "Things were different" when he came up, and he had it much harder than the people that work for him and his buddies in the industry do, because he treats "his guys..and girls" so well.  Yet he says/thinks these things without ever realizing how myopic and condescending they sound to the people he's referring to.

 

[Reverend]

I'd bet almost anything that he's an entertaining enough guy, but only in that way that lots of Big Fish personalities are.  In addition to JMOH's points, which do away with most of it, he's almost certainly completely disinterested in anything that anyone "below him" has to say.   He might act interested in the moment, but invariably gets distracted by a tweet or a phone call, and then, 2 months later, can't remember whether "you're the one with the new kid" or not.

 
There's ample evidence of him meeting people with superior knowledge and him telling that person what he thinks, as reported by him himself.
 
Wise people stop doing thing around the age of what? 23?

 

[JohntheBaptist]

I wouldn't even say "wise"--it's common fucking sense!
 
I mean, yes, my medical school educated/ WWII and Korea veteran grandfather would say all the time, "common sense ain't so common," but I used to kinda tune him out.

 

[Leather]

 
There's ample evidence of him meeting people with superior knowledge and him telling that person what he thinks, as reported by him himself.
 
Wise people stop doing thing around the age of what? 23?

 
My boss and Peter King have a lot in common, I think, in terms of their own inflated self-opinion and massive blind spot when it comes to recognizing their own shortcomings/mistakes.  So it's funny that you mention this, because one of my favorite anecdotes about my boss is that, after he lost an administrative hearing (which he just flat-out botched because he had no experience with Admin Law), he wrote the admin judge a letter telling the judge that, no matter what the opinion said, the judge was in the wrong and he (my boss) was right.

 

[SydneySox]

I'd bet almost anything that he's an entertaining enough guy, but only in that way that lots of Big Fish personalities are.  In addition to JMOH's points, which do away with most of it, he's almost certainly completely disinterested in anything that anyone "below him" has to say.   He might act interested in the moment, but invariably gets distracted by a tweet or a phone call, and then, 2 months later, can't remember whether "you're the one with the new kid" or not.

 
About halfway through, that sentence starts to get a little weirdly personal and then
 

 
My boss and Peter King have a lot in common, I think, in terms of their own inflated self-opinion and massive blind spot when it comes to recognizing their own shortcomings/mistakes.  So it's funny that you mention this, because one of my favorite anecdotes about my boss is that, after he lost an administrative hearing (which he just flat-out botched because he had no experience with Admin Law), he wrote the admin judge a letter telling the judge that, no matter what the opinion said, the judge was in the wrong and he (my boss) was right.

 
Yep

 

[E5 Yaz]

Went to my first funeral with full military honors ...
 

 
I know this has been covered, but the conceit of calling it his own funeral is just tremendous.
 
I also like the bit later on when he called for people to stop being mean to him in online comments and tweets

 

[pedro1918]

The only way I can even vaguely relate to King's reaction to his uncle's funeral is to believe Pete didn't really know his uncle at all. Hypothetically, he was there because his mother's brother died and his mother wanted him to go to the funeral. Maybe she needed a ride? It sounds like Pete and his uncle had only met at a few random holiday dinners over the years and weren't particularly close. He does not sound like a human being grieving the loss of a loved one. He sounds like he is reviewing a show or movie for a local newspaper.

Of course, I have no idea if any of that is true, but I just can't imagine "loving" a funeral of someone for whom I cared deeply.

 

[Corsi]

Peter King haikus Robin Williams' death.

https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/498980950458773504

https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/498980950458773504

link to tweet

 

[Corsi]

https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/498982297757306882

https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/498982297757306882

link to tweet

 

[Gambler7]

Brutal. People are killing him for that last tweet about his "conversation".

 

[SydneySox]

God lives in Milwaukee??

 

[URI]

I personally like haiku that follows the less-traditional 6-5-7 scheme.

 

[MiketheCat]

I think we all know Peter will be buried with his Evo Shield and a folded up Favre jersey.

 

[Ferm Sheller]

"I know my Uncle Andy is laughing in his grave at the thought of Robin Williams. One of his faves. Mine, too. Looking forward to your funeral, Mork. Never been to a comedian's funeral. Should be a good one!"

 

[Reverend]

Brutal. People are killing him for that last tweet about his "conversation".

I don't really understand the people who feel a need to be the one to tell others about a tragedy.

With some, I can imagine that it's not knowing how to deal and just a spontaneous sharing. With others, I am very certain it is the narcissism of being in the know.

I have felt the latter. As such, as a rule, I don't just hurl such information around unsolicited, and certainly not to people I don't know well; I mention it only if I feel like there is a reason the person should know and would want to, but, of course, that person would generally already know.

Feeling the need to tell the server that Robin Williams passed is the grail, combining narcissism with callousness.

 

[E5 Yaz]

Feeling the need to tell the server that Robin Williams passed is the grail, combining narcissism with callousness.

 
Nah, this is the grail:
 
 

Miley Ray CyrusVerified account‏@MileyCyrus

I can't take the Robin Williams news. I've never cried over someone I've never met but I can't stop

 

[JayMags71]

Thank god for the kittens. I wasn't sure how she would feel, but the sad kittens make it clear.

 

[E5 Yaz]

Thank god for the kittens. I wasn't sure how she would feel, but the sad kittens make it clear.

 
And four of them ... because it meant more to her than the three crying kittens she gives others who die

 

[Leather]

Once again, the point isn't that something happened; it's what happened when Peter King told someone that something happened.

 

[Reverend]

Once again, the point isn't that something happened; it's what happened when Peter King told someone that something happened.

Ring that bell.

 

[joyofsox]

PETER KING WINS MOST AWKWARD TWEET OF THE YEAR AWARD
 
http://network.yardbarker.com/author/article_external/17022932?widget=true
 

Comedy and entertainment legend Robin Williams sadly passed away Monday evening.  Sports Illustrated NFL writer Peter King took it upon himself to inform the local maitre’d and then tell the world about his deed of service on Twitter.
 
Does Peter King just go around informing random individuals of the tragic deaths of celebrities ... and then tweet about it? ...
 
King was in Milwaukee for Packers camp, so I wonder if he is currently wandering the streets informing all passers by of Robin Williams’ untimely passing.
 
Wisconsin Citizen: “Hey Peter, what do you think about the Packers’ chances this year?”
 
Peter King: “Robin Williams is dead.  He died.”
 

 

 

 

[Granite Sox]

Bruce Allen @bruceallen · 11h


Has @SI_PeterKing rushed to breathlessly inform his server that Lauren Bacall died?

 
He will miss the most
Her definition of kiss
Lips together blow

 

[joe dokes]

Humphrey Bogart's gal
Does anyone remember
I must tell the world

 

[Leather]

Bacall; what a dame!
But Paris people are rude.
We'll always have Dachau.

 

[Corsi]

Dinner, Milwaukee
Hey Server, bring me more bread.
Also, Bacall's dead.

 

[mascho]

In case you are bored this Monday morning:
 
@SI_PeterKing  6m
SEATTLE-Will answer 10 questions on video later today. Send them to #AskTheMMQB by 5 pm ET. Have a good day, everyone.
 
@SI_PeterKing  33s
Gotta use #AskTheMMQB hashtag for me to use your question. Thanks.

 

[Phil Plantier]

Credit, though, for this MMQB piece by Robert Klemko about a fringe NFL player (who has a criminal justice degree) willing to talk about growing up in St. Louis County
 
http://mmqb.si.com/2014/08/16/nfl-player-david-bass-ferguson-racial-profiling/
 

 
“When I go home I get pulled over just because,” Bass says, “and they’ll say, ‘We’re doing random checks,’ which is against the law. Or they say, there was a theft and the getaway car was like my black Durango. When they don’t know who you are, all you are is black. They don’t know that I graduated from college, or that I’m in the NFL. But when they find that out, they want to stop and have a conversation.”

 

[E5 Yaz]

SI and "ad-friendly" writers
 
http://gawker.com/time-inc-rates-writers-on-how-beneficial-they-are-to-1623253026

 

[Phil Plantier]

Yeah, I almost added that to my post. If King is giving these writers a place where they don't have to adhere to the death-of-journalism horror show described in that Gawker article, then he can rhapsodize about Manhattan as much as he wants and we still all win.

 

[Hendu for Kutch]

Protect your site from The Death of Journalism with EvoShield!

 

[joe dokes]

INTERESTING QUESTION. Hey Peter, long-time reader and have a question about something that makes me nervous. Watching preseason games, I noticed that there were advertisements being digitally displayed on the field. After a little googling, turns out this is the result of the NFL selling rights to local television stations, to which the local stations can advertise what they wish. Do you see this as a precursor to what’s coming? Perhaps slower and less obvious, like a “1st and 10″ marker with a “Lexus” backing?”
—JT, San Antonio, Texas
 

Good question, JT. I hadn’t noticed it so far. The way I look at it is this: Does it really bother you, or make the telecast significantly worse, if the first-and-10 line is “sponsored by Lexus?’’ I don’t care, really. Maybe it is creeping commercialism, but the NFL has been a commercial entity for years, and I don’t know how the first-down line, for instance, being sponsored is going to change that appreciably.

 

 
Shorter king: "If its good for the NFL, then nyahnyahnyah, I can't hear you shutupshutupshutupshutup"
 
 
"I hadn't noticed?"
Shorter king: "maybe *you people* are so easily distracted, but not me..."
 
http://deadspin.com/behold-the-horrifying-future-of-nfl-in-game-advertising-1618245971

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

Does it really bother you, or make the telecast significantly worse, if the first-and-10 line is “sponsored by Lexus?’’ I don’t care, really. Maybe it is creeping commercialism, but the NFL has been a commercial entity for years, and I don’t know how the first-down line, for instance, being sponsored is going to change that appreciably.
 
 

 
What an asshole. It doesn't seem like it's bothering JT in San Antonio, but it's something he noticed. King should get off his fat ass and actually use those pudgy fingers to dial someone in the league office and ask what it's all about. Not because he doesn't care, but because his reader(s) do(es). It's amazing to me just how manic this moron is, "good question but what the fuck dude, who cares?"
 
He's just such a dick.

 

[Corsi]

Nope, not distracting at all.
 

 

[Granite Sox]

Not to mention the fact that this particular sponsorship (hot sauce) was deemed as "inappropriate" given The Shield's lame response to domestic violence.
 
1 cup   Money Grubbing
2 tbsp  Distracting
2 cups Tone Deaf
 
Simmer in saucepan, and serve over (Ray) Rice.
 
Beverage pairing: Allagash White!

 

[Corsi]

Peter King, June 30th, 2014
 

Advertising. Two ad patches (NAPA Auto Parts and Western Direct Insurance) are on the fronts of Calgary jerseys, and there are ads displayed on the turf throughout the league too. A little NASCARish for me.
 

 

 

[DJnVa]

Help me out---is King making a comment somewhere that the field isn't distracting?

 

[joe dokes]

Nope, not distracting at all.
 

 
 
 
Good thing they weren't playing the Chiefs. It would be like Earl Camembert's blue jacket.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHbdpFd-BpA

 

[Hendu for Kutch]

Nope, not distracting at all.
 

 
Wait, is that real?

 

[joe dokes]

 
Wait, is that real?

yes.
http://awfulannouncing.com/the-locker/the-saints-have-the-best-goofy-red-zone-sponsor.html
 
And here's Toyota backing out after the backlash:
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2014/08/11/intrusive-ads-on-preseason-broadcasts-raise-eyebrows/
 
 
 
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2014/08/11/intrusive-ads-on-preseason-broadcasts-raise-eyebrows/