Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

Leather

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WTF?!

EDIT: I'm literally laughing out loud at that. Seriously. There are no words.
 

Corsi

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Are we sure that wasn't someone hacking his account?
Pretty sure it's him. He was in Atlanta for Falcons camp and took in the Braves game. There were other pictures/tweets referencing the same. He'd have mentioned it by now if he was hacked.
 

Corsi

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Five words I never thought I'd type in my lifetime: We just landed on Mars.
https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/232350803480940546

Except, for like, the seven other times we've landed on Mars.
 

MyDaughterLovesTomGordon

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https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/232350803480940546

Except, for like, the seven other times we've landed on Mars.
My god this is awesome, and such a great distillation of PK's largest issue: He can't get outside himself in any way. If he hasn't heard of something, it can't possibly exist. He's so sure of himself, he'd never think to google something to make sure before he made a crazy statement of fact. That seems to be the core of his haughtiness, if you ask me.

But holy fuck. He thought it was the first time we'd ever landed anything on Mars? Didn't Viking put down a lander on Mars in the 1970s? Does he really not remember Pathfinder (1997)? So awesomely ignorant.
 

DJnVa

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Maybe he thinks there were people on it.

He would be horrified that Mars has no Starbucks.
 

Reverend

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Somewhere along the way, this thread became surreal. Like it's as if he's reading it and just flat out trolling us at this point.
 

Leather

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Guys, I'm really Peter King.

Greetings from camp!

Now that the joke is over, I hope you support me in my half marathon charity.
 

lostjumper

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Corsi

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2. I think I have to agree with Neil Hornsby, the Pro Football Focus guru who traveled with Team SI to 16 camps and/or stadia over the past 19 days, about Ben Roethlisberger.
Stadia? Fuck you.
 

Leather

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Quote of the Week IV

"Arizona will be not charged with a timeout.''
-- Replacement referee Craig Ochoa in the Baltimore-Atlanta preseason game.
That's good to note, especially since the Arizona Cardinals were 803 miles away at the time, and their game in Kansas City wasn't due to start for another 24-and-a-half hours.


I know the replacement refs haven't gone over very well. They've made mistakes.

But, this is just King being a dick. The ref made a slip-of-the-tongue (Arizona/Atlanta). Real refs do something similar, too.

If King wants to bust on the replacement refs for being shitty, that's fine. But he should choose some anecdotes that display their lack of fitness for the job (fucking up calls or not knowing how many yards should be assessed, etc.), not something petty that has no impact on the game.

I hope Craig Ochoa sends King a box of feces in the mail.





Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week I

Just before 3 a.m. Friday, the SI-EvoShield NFL Training Camp Tour docked in Sandusky, Ohio, and I roused myself and walked to the front desk of one of the local hotels. I said hello to the gal behind the desk and handed her my photo ID drivers license and my American Express card to check in. She looked at the cards and put them down next to her keyboard.
"Last name, sir?''
Your "photo ID drivers license"? Is that anything like a driver's license?

Anyway, King-o, you yourself note that it's 3 AM, so why not cut this girl some slack. I mean, this really isn't a big deal, is it? How hard is it to say your own last name and just get on with your day?

Not quite believing she asked this question after I handed her two plastic cards with my full name on both, I said, "Schwartz.''
Oh. I guess you couldn't let it go. You had to be a dick. At 3 AM. To a hotel worker who probably earns one-fifteenth what you do in a year. Ok. I guess all is fair in love and Starwood-Travel-Notes-That-Interest-Only-Me or whatever.

She typed away for three or four seconds, and then said, "Uhhhhh ... "
"Last name is King,'' I said. "Just curious -- why'd you ask me my last name when I just handed you my license and my credit card?''
Ah, so she caught her mistake without your help! She realized that the name you gave her did not match the ID and credit card, and was about to say something! But you had to press the issue. Again, this is at 3 AM.

"Well, we just want to make sure it's you who's checking in instead of someone using your identification,'' she said.
Ok. So the girl made a mental boner, and tried to cover it up by repeating the reason for the policy of asking for ID when someone checks in. Why do they ask for ID? Well, I'd guess they want to make sure that you are, in fact, the person listed on the credit card. They probably also want to make sure that you are the name in the computer in the event you trash the room or steal a bathrobe or something.

But that's not really the point. The point is that it's THREE FUCKING A.M., this poor girl has probably been working for a few hours with absolutely NOTHING to do, and Peter King plods in and starts giving her a hard time for a minor mental SNAFU that 99.9% of the population would probably ignore, or even laugh off with a friendly "Hey, I guess I'm not the only one that could use a coffee" line or something. But no. King smells blood, and goes for it, so he can retell his harrowing adventures on the road to his loyal readers, who hang on every word.

My mind raced. If someone was doing that, wouldn't someone have had to bug my phone or steal my personal information from somewhere to know I had a room at this $119-a-night palace in Sandusky, Ohio, and then use my stolen or forged cards to check into said Sandusky palace?
His mind raced. Unlike our poor little simpleton worker (no wonder she has a such a shitty job, am I right?), King' brain is on fire at all times, no matter the hour.

What a fucking asshole. So now you're making fun of Sandusky, a rust-belt town that doesn't aspire to be much more than a decent place to live (I've actually been there. It's on the lake, kind of nice in a boring sort of way.). Sorry not every fucking town isn't NYC or Boston, you fat fuck. The rest of humanity has to live somewhere else. Oh, and I'm sorry that Sandusky's tourism industry (which is very well known for its roller coasters, actually) can't support more than a "$119-a-night palace" (talk about dripping with condescension). That girl working behind the counter? Her idea of a vacation is probably to share one of those $119-a-night rooms with a buddy or two for a couple of nights. That's probably all she can afford in a year. But, you know, it's cool. You've been around. You're Peter King.

You know people. You understand them. You know that what the rabble wants to hear, in these economic times, is some NFL muckety-muck shitting on one of the rank and file commoners who's lucky enough to have a shitty job in a backwater, small-town USA.

Peter King, you certainly know which way the wind blows.

It's the most colossally stupid thing I can remember at a hotel front desk, but I had no desire to say anything else at 3 in the morning in Sandusky, Ohio, other than, "Where is the nearest pillow?''
I have traveled far less than King, and I've heard a lot of stupider things. Not thinking to look at a guy's fucking license and just asking for his name doesn't even crack the...

This happens ALL THE TIME at rental car locations! They ask your name! Then they ask for ID! She just said them in the wrong order!

And fuck you with your "Oh, I didn't want to be bothered and took the high road" bullshit. No you didn't, you acted like a fucking entitled, obnoxious, asshole, and, to make things worse, you're now BRAGGING about it. The lack of empathy is staggering.
 

Corsi

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g. Coffeenerdness: Really, Marriott Towne Place Suite and Residence Inns. Have you tasted the stuff you call coffee? It's barely coffee-flavored water.
What exactly do you think coffee is, Peter? It is coffee-flavored water. See, I know you've probably never made a coffee on your own in your entire entitled life with everyone waiting on you hand and foot, but you take these things called coffee grounds, and you run water through them. The result? Coffee flavored water. Then fat fucks like you load the coffee up with sugar and cream and coffeemate and whatever other fattening ingredients you can get your paws on so that it no longer tastes like coffee. But trust me, at its essence, coffee is coffee-flavored water.
 

Shelterdog

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A little ammo for Dr. Leather---

Notice how he does a combined Luck/Griffin stat line? It's because Griffin was 4/6 for 70 yards with 1 TD. It's like saying Marris and Tony Kubek combined for 69 HRs in 1961.
 

Corsi

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Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week I

Just before 3 a.m. Friday, the SI-EvoShield NFL Training Camp Tour docked in Sandusky, Ohio, and I roused myself and walked to the front desk of one of the local hotels. I said hello to the gal behind the desk and handed her my photo ID drivers license and my American Express card to check in. She looked at the cards and put them down next to her keyboard.
"Last name, sir?''
What a fucking asshole. Not only does the poor girl explain why that measure was in place, but then he rips the town and hotel (sarcastically calls it a "$119-a-night...Sandusky palace"). Listen, you entitled turd, it doesn't have to be the freaking Westin to necessitate security measures.
 

Corsi

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f. I finally got to see a bunch of Olympic highlights on NBC Sunday night. Wow, we're good. It bugs me that I missed the Olympics -- the stories and the competition. I totally missed the Mo Farah story, and Oscar Pistorius. Bummer. Glad I caught up on Missy Franklin and that crazy U.S. soccer win over Canada. And though I'm not a great hoops fan, congrats to the men and women on their golds too.
In case you forgot I'm busy, I'm busy.

And I love the "though I'm not a great hoops fan bit," as if he is a great fan of swimming and track and field.
 

Corsi

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4. I think I have no inside information on this -- I really don't -- but I'm hearing that no one in the Cleveland front office or coaching staff should feel secure beyond December. Prospective new owner wants to judge everyone fresh.
What? :blink:
 

Leather

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I'm not doing anymore with this shithead today. At least not now.

I just can't get over it. $119 is not a super-cheap rate for a hotel. It's not expensive, but I often stay at places that cost less, especially in non-tourist centers.

I wish King's boss would tell him he had to stay at KOAs for the rest of the year, in a tent, so he could gain a little perspective and be genuinely thankful for once in his goddamned life. And I'm not talking about being thankful for bullshit like "good coffee", but to be able to sleep on a fucking mattress and have a private shower.

That might be my most-hated "King Travel Notes" piece ever, because he is A) specifically shitting on one person that is clearly less-advantaged than he is, specifically calling out her level of intelligence. And in so doing, he is clearly making the evil assumption that she is stupid because of the job he holds, on the basis of one isolated incident that occurred in the middle of the night. This shit happens all the time in all classes of hotels, but King opts to call out this one particular girl in this one particular hotel. He's indirectly equating money (i.e. the job this girl has, in the town where she lives) with intelligence, and that is so fucking wrong and backward it makes me want to scream. He is also B) shitting on a town for not having a very-nice hotel (and, by extension, is shitting on every non-affluent town in the country that's smaller than 100,000 and isn't a tourist trap).

King is a bourgeoisie pig.
 

Mystic Merlin

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I think I felt my first true twinge of hatred towards him while reading the bit about the front-desk girl. Flabbergasting, even by his lowly standards of empathy and self-awareness.
 

Leather

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I'll just note that his encore performance in Travel Notes, Part II includes two irksome things.

1) He complains about how grueling his trip is, and then in the next breath talks about getting to throw out the first pitch at a minor league game and hang out with some buddies at a bar afterwards. Yea. That's rough. I can relate.

2) He acts legitimately surprised that he had a good time in a small town, because he had such low expectations.
 

DJnVa

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I think I have no inside information on this -- I really don't -- but I'm hearing that no one in the Cleveland front office or coaching staff should feel secure beyond December. Prospective new owner wants to judge everyone fresh.

Well, if it's not inside info, where's it from?


And the whole "asking name" thing is simply policy. Yeah, she did it in the wrong order, but if people are trying to pull something, say they had King's ID, and you ask their last name--they may actually blurt out their real name, then you get an ID with something different.

If all he wanted at 3 AM was a pillow, why not just say his name and move on? King hates women. The one on the flight with the pillow, this one.
 

Dogman

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Well, if it's not inside info, where's it from?
This is the first thing I thought of. If he didn't hear it from someone in the Cleveland front office then he heard it from another reporter who heard it from the Cleveland front office. If he has no "inside info" then he heard it from another reporter or he pulled it from his ass. See, new owners generally like to bring in their own people so, therefore, the holdovers may not be so secure. King, once again, isn't doing any reporting here by making bullshit up to fill his column or re-reporting what someone else already reported.

The hotel stuff is mindboggling.
 

shlincoln

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He is also B) shitting on a town for not having a very-nice hotel (and, by extension, is shitting on every non-affluent town in the country that's smaller than 100,000 and isn't a tourist trap).
Isn't Sandusky the very definition of a tourist trap? After all, it's got one of the best amusement parks in the country a stone's throw away. Not disagreeing on the douchebaggery by King though.

The only reason I read MMQB this week was for the Oberon shout-out since it's one of my favorite beers, but I found his story related to it a little off-putting. He drank it in the back of a van on the Jersey Turnpike? Isn't that technically illegal or something? Or are open container laws different for chauffeured vehicles?
 

coremiller

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This is the first thing I thought of. If he didn't hear it from someone in the Cleveland front office then he heard it from another reporter who heard it from the Cleveland front office. If he has no "inside info" then he heard it from another reporter or he pulled it from his ass. See, new owners generally like to bring in their own people so, therefore, the holdovers may not be so secure. King, once again, isn't doing any reporting here by making bullshit up to fill his column or re-reporting what someone else already reported.

The hotel stuff is mindboggling.
Not only that, but it's pretty douchey and reckless to scare the shit out of the entire Cleveland staff and FO for no good reason. Not all of them are as rich as Peter King and would be just fine financially if they got fired. I'm sure they're all worried enough by the ownership change but gratuitously circulating rumors that they'll all be unemployed by the end of the year is just cruel.
 

DJnVa

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Isn't Sandusky the very definition of a tourist trap? After all, it's got one of the best amusement parks in the country a stone's throw away. Not disagreeing on the douchebaggery by King though.

The only reason I read MMQB this week was for the Oberon shout-out since it's one of my favorite beers, but I found his story related to it a little off-putting. He drank it in the back of a van on the Jersey Turnpike? Isn't that technically illegal or something? Or are open container laws different for chauffeured vehicles?
Not sure exactly what he was in, but you can definitely drink in limos, party vans, etc.
 

Average Reds

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Well, if it's not inside info, where's it from?
The quote from King is a true classic. It's also one of the most intellectually dishonest things ever written by a man who redefines what it means to be intellectually dishonest on a weekly basis.

What he is telling us is, by definition, inside information. Passing it along with the caveat "I think I have no inside information" is simply a way of reporting gossip as news without being accountable for what he reports.

The funny part is that it was just a couple of months ago that King was lecturing us on the ethics of being a journalist, so this is a man who knows these things...
 

JohntheBaptist

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The quote from King is a true classic. It's also one of the most intellectually dishonest things ever written by a man who redefines what it means to be intellectually dishonest on a weekly basis.

What he is telling us is, by definition, inside information. Passing it along with the caveat "I think I have no inside information" is simply a way of reporting gossip as news without being accountable for what he reports.

The funny part is that it was just a couple of months ago that King was lecturing us on the ethics of being a journalist, so this is a man who knows these things...
That quote is a total PK all-timer.

I think I have no inside information on this -- I really don't -- but I'm hearing that no one in the Cleveland front office or coaching staff should feel secure beyond December. Prospective new owner wants to judge everyone fresh.
He starts with "I have no inside information," but also "I really don't," as in "yeah, hard to believe, ME no inside-info--try to stay with me." It's also an assurance. That assurance is breaking up the middle of the sentence, but then is followed immediately by "...but I'm hearing..." which is LOL-city on its own.

What. the. Fuck. Who are you hearing from? If their information is not from the inside, why are you sharing it? And if it isn't "inside" information, shouldn't it be presented as such, like, "word around Cleveland is," or "rumors are," not "but I'm hearing..."

I don't know what I'm talking about on this topic--I really don't--but anyway I know what I'm talking about and here's why.
 

PBDWake

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That might be my most-hated "King Travel Notes" piece ever
Yeah, it's either that, or the blanket story. A refresher story for those who don't remember:
Being an idiot to flight attendants. As in the woman on my United flight to Denver early Tuesday morning, who twice rang her flight-attendant call button to ask for a blanket, which, in coach, often either doesn't exist anymore or only does if there are extras from first class. The second time, she said, "It must be 55 degrees in here. Can you please do something!'' It wasn't. And happily, the flight attendant did nothing, and the woman shivered in normal temperatures most of the way across the country.
He is the worst manner of douchebag.
 

Average Reds

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OK, I can't let this go.

Here's Peter King from back in April, talking about the release of video from a Saints' team meeting:

I'm tremendously conflicted on this story. I've thought about it for three days straight, trying to divine what's right and wrong. I enrolled in college to study journalism in 1975, one year after the Watergate burglary and coverup forced Richard Nixon to resign the presidency. I'm all for the public's right to know. And in the end, I'm tempted to say the more clarity about this story the better, just so the public understands why Goodell acted with such an iron hand. But I can't get over the way the material was acquired and made public. It's just not right.
Here's Peter King from his latest column:

One more note on the Vilma case: His court filing last week identified me as someone "commonly known as a go-to-source for NFL leaks.'' When I saw that, my chest puffed out a bit. Maybe it's true, maybe it isn't. But if it is, isn't that what reporters want? Don't reporters want to be known for finding people in the business they cover to tell them things that are hidden from the light of day? I'll never be a twentieth of a Woodward or a Bernstein, but this business is all about telling readers and listeners and viewers things they don't know. And I'd be proud if in this case I've done that.

He then immediately follows it with this:


I think I have no inside information on this -- I really don't -- but I'm hearing that no one in the Cleveland front office or coaching staff should feel secure beyond December. Prospective new owner wants to judge everyone fresh.

The lack of any intellectual honesty in anything written by Peter King is one of the most staggering things I have ever seen in my life.
 

gmogmo

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What a fucking asshole. Not only does the poor girl explain why that measure was in place, but then he rips the town and hotel (sarcastically calls it a "$119-a-night...Sandusky palace"). Listen, you entitled turd, it doesn't have to be the freaking Westin to necessitate security measures.
It's staggering that he doesn't realize what a complete and total asshole he comes across as.....
 

Gravistar

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One more note on the Vilma case: His court filing last week identified me as someone "commonly known as a go-to-source for NFL leaks.'' When I saw that, my chest puffed out a bit. Maybe it's true, maybe it isn't. But if it is, isn't that what reporters want? Don't reporters want to be known for finding people in the business they cover to tell them things that are hidden from the light of day? I'll never be a twentieth of a Woodward or a Bernstein, but this business is all about telling readers and listeners and viewers things they don't know. And I'd be proud if in this case I've done that.
The great thing about PK is that he compares himself to Woodward and Bernstein, and then, in the same sentence, manages to show exactly why he's not a journalist by any stretch of the imagination. The fucking hubris combined with the imbecility is truly breathtaking. "This business is all about telling readers and listeners and viewers things they don't know." Well I'm glad PK admits to being a gossip columnist, but I don't ever want to see him ever again put his name in the same sentence as any journalists with real integrity.
 

bbc23

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I would truly love to know what happens when the dickhead tries to buy beer and is carded.
 

Corsi

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The great thing about PK is that he compares himself to Woodward and Bernstein, and then, in the same sentence, manages to show exactly why he's not a journalist by any stretch of the imagination. The fucking hubris combined with the imbecility is truly breathtaking. "This business is all about telling readers and listeners and viewers things they don't know." Well I'm glad PK admits to being a gossip columnist, but I don't ever want to see him ever again put his name in the same sentence as any journalists with real integrity.
I'd love to have been a fly on the wall when he wrote that sentence.

"I'll never be a fifth, tenth, fifteenth, twentieth of a Woodward or a Bernstein..."
 

Leather

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Isn't Sandusky the very definition of a tourist trap? After all, it's got one of the best amusement parks in the country a stone's throw away. Not disagreeing on the douchebaggery by King though.
I dunno, I define "Tourist Trap" as a place that's destination unto itself. There aren't many towns that qualify. Maybe Jackson Hole. Martha's Vineyard. Aspen.

People often seek these places out for their own sake, and as a result the community fosters it along and develops a cottage industry based on its status as a "destination."

Nobody goes to Sandusky,Ohio so they can say they'd been there, and there's no local industry built up selling Sandusky itself (as opposed to Cedar Point) as a cool vacation destination. That is to say, there's no effort to "trap" you into staying longer or spending more money.

I recall going there in, oh, 2006 or so and being told by my hotel front-desk-person (maybe the same one as King!) that there were about 3 viable dinner options in town after 8 PM. That's not a tourist trap.
 

PBDWake

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I know it's a drop in the douchebucket of King-isms, but he had a pair of tweets yesterday that made me cringe.
@SI_PeterKing: RT @DanGrazianoESPN: Am I the only one who (a) doesn't care if they win and (b) doesn't think there's a chance they'll lose? ... Two.
That was on the subject of the Gold Medal Basketball game. Which was a) extremely close at that point, and b) pretty damn exciting to a lot of people. Does he need to go out of his way to try and be a turd in a punch bowl when people are trying to enjoy things he doesn't approve of? Why not skip the commentary?

Speaking of "should have skipped the commentary", there's also his classic berating and blocking of his critics.
@SI_PeterKing: RT @overdesigned: I can't follow you any more. Too holier-than-thou, too haughty ... #Thankgodigotridofoneofthem
 

shlincoln

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I dunno, I define "Tourist Trap" as a place that's destination unto itself.  There aren't many towns that qualify.   Maybe Jackson Hole.  Martha's Vineyard.  Aspen.  
Fair enough, though I'd replace that list with Wall Drug, Wisconsin Dells and Branson as the prime examples of tourist trap towns.  My point was that because of the massive amusement park next door, Sandusky is more touristy than say Norwalk.  

Either way King is a shortsighted prick
 

Leather

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Fair enough, though I'd replace that list with Wall Drug, Wisconsin Dells and Branson as the prime examples of tourist trap towns. My point was that because of the massive amusement park next door, Sandusky is more touristy than say Norwalk.

Either way King is a shortsighted prick
Wall Drug is a store, not a town.

My point is that it's irritating to be nitpicked on something that's totally beside the point.