With Johnny announcing every game was a) great and b) a struggle between good and evil. Might not have been what was happening on the court, but no one cared.
As fragile buds of crocuses began to peer through the rock-strewn soil of Massachusetts each spring, a fan could easily switch from Ned Martin's evocative eloquence to the rat-a-tat-tat of Johnny Most's unyielding, theatrical narrative - an ongoing saga in which the good guys were forever attired in the green and white. For nearly forty seasons, Johnny Most was able to describe in excruciating detail the heroic plight of a "warranted championship team" that even malevolent referees and hooligan thugs couldn't conquer. As one Boston sportswriter once commented, "John didn't broadcast a basketball game; he thought he was narrating the 'Passion Play.'"
Unlike Ned Martin's sedan-like veneer, Johnny Most's voice sounded like a car crash. He would sit, emperor-like, in his haughty perch just below the rickety third balcony at the old Boston Garden, inhaling non-filter after non-filter, creating a minefield of smoke that shrouded him in a perpetually dimming stupor. For over two hours, Johnny would inexorably describe the proceedings on the historic court below, whining over the inequalities of life even as his team won a gaudy sixteen championships in thirty years.
Amidst Buick-sized rats, plastic beer cups, and drunken louts, his grating voice and discriminating commentary became the adhesive to which legions of Celtic fans embraced in what might have been the most flourishing Off-Broadway production in history. There were few critics; nearly every Bostonian seemed to warm to his antics like a tepid southerly breeze. An absolute original, Johnny Most made even the most irrelevant game in November seem important.
It is also certain that Johnny's exaggerated storylines knew no bounds if he was into it that night. His habit for glorious overstatement would invariably be replicated the very next day in countless schoolyards across the Boston area: "Big Red snags the rebound, and gets absolutely cuffed in the stomach by Kareem! Oh my goodness! But, of course, Jake O'Donnell isn't calling anything because there's no blood on the court! Do you believe that?"
Even the immortals wore black hats in Johnny's unambiguous world: "Oscar gets the rebound...... and puts his left elbow right in the face of Satch Sanders! Right in the face! And Manny Sobel has the nerve to call a foul on 'The Lord!' The audacity! Well, ladies and gentlemen, those of us who have been blessed to see him in the flesh know that Oscar Robertson would never, ever commit a foul!"
One night, I actually heard him bawl: "Gene Shue just gave his Bullets' players an armful of tire irons so that they may attack anything out there in green and white....knowing that Mendy Rudolph will call it 'justifiable homicide!'"
Some of the more unique Mostian broadcasts occurred away from Boston when opposing fans learned to bait such a polarizing figure unmercifully. Inevitably, after being peppered by coffee cups and cigarette butts throughout much of the game, Johnny would growl,
"I just got hit by a bagel! They're throwing things at me, ladies and gentlemen, because the fans here at the Civic Center are frustrated that their shabby, mediocre team always loses to the Celtics!"
It's not to say that John didn't have a sense of humor. His recurrent cackle sounded like an old Dodge Dart attempting to start on an arctic January morning. When veteran NBA guard Dave Bing was traded to the C's, Johnny couldn't wait to sing, "The ball goes out to Dave Bing. He backs up to the right of the key as Dynamite Don clears the way. It's Bing from the corner - Bing........bang!"
In the end, though, Johnny Most's calls were both original and extraordinary. His signature phrases became compulsory axioms for an entire region of basketball fans:
"This is Johnny Most high above courtside." "Cousy fiddles and diddles - now he daddles." "Outside to Sudden Sam - swish!" "Russ gets the rebound - what a play by Bill Russell!" "Jarring John tricky-dribbles with the ball..." "The Celts are fast-breaking to victory as Tiny dishes it off to Larry!" And, of course, his nightly signoff, "This is Johnny Most - bye for now."
From someone who loved them both, Johnny Most was the Puck to Ned Martin's Hamlet.
