The Bill Simmons Thread

nattysez

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 30, 2010
8,888
Forget Mac, Bill experienced Drew Bledsoe. That honeymoon was like hardcore porn compared to the last 6 weeks of Drake Maye.
To be fair, he mentioned Drew in passing and qualified his statement as "since the Internet's existed, basically."
 

HowBoutDemSox

Member
SoSH Member
Aug 12, 2009
10,552
Really enjoyed his pod with Doc Rivers, some good basketball coaching stuff (like Dame and Giannis figuring out who would bring the ball up in different situations) and some random fun anecdotes (Doc was watching last night’s Final game with Larry David and predicted Luka would foul out after his fourth foul, and that Luka was whining and complaining to the wrong set of refs and those guys wouldn’t take kindly to him doing that), plus the obligatory tales of the ‘08 Celtics group.
 

TomRicardo

rusty cohlebone
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Feb 6, 2006
21,311
Row 14
Really enjoyed his pod with Doc Rivers, some good basketball coaching stuff (like Dame and Giannis figuring out who would bring the ball up in different situations) and some random fun anecdotes (Doc was watching last night’s Final game with Larry David and predicted Luka would foul out after his fourth foul, and that Luka was whining and complaining to the wrong set of refs and those guys wouldn’t take kindly to him doing that), plus the obligatory tales of the ‘08 Celtics group.
Did people not see this coming? Doc was spot on.
 

johnmd20

mad dog
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Dec 30, 2003
62,385
New York City
Did people not see this coming? Doc was spot on.
It's really, really easy to make accurate predictions about things that have happened, though.

For example, I knew Florida is going to beat Edmonton in the first two games of the Stanley Cup Finals. Boom, Nostradamus over here.
 

bankshot1

Member
SoSH Member
Feb 12, 2003
25,277
where I was last at
Maybe the Finals is not the stage for sending a message, but I was a little surprised that between flops and constant ref-baiting, Oncic didn't get T'ed up last night
 

Pablo's TB Lover

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 10, 2017
6,189
Doc makes Johnny Most sound like Mariah Carey. Someone get that guy a throat lozenge.
Unfortunately Mariah Carey doesn't sound like Mariah Carey anymore, too many dog whistle notes over the years have messed up her vocals.

Seriously though, Doc had a "whistle" coming through like he'd been battling bronchitis for the last 10 years. I know he had a benign growth removed from his throat around 15 years ago while coaching the Cs, just hope there isn't anything else medically going on...
 

m0ckduck

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 20, 2005
2,010
Thought Simmons and RR were better today discussing the Finals. They seemed more relaxed after a Dallas win, when they didn't have to try to rationalize the C's winning without Tatum putting up big pointz or pooh-poohing the C's victory to death with myriad 'warning signs'. Simmons kept botching the game numbers (referring to "game three" as "game two" etc) but otherwise it was pretty solid. A few good observations stuck out:

- Lively in 2nd half of G3 + 1st half of G4:12 points, 20 rebounds (10 offensive)
- Exum really helped them push the ball up and get into their action faster; Dallas didn't waste so much time matchup hunting with Luka and just went at them more regardless of the defender
- Jrue was awful, which didn't get called out enough (at least in what I read)

Edit: although silly, I also liked the exchange where RR asked if it doesn't feel more like a 2-2 series than 3-1... Simmons thought about it and said, "More like 2.5 - 1.5."
 
Last edited:

TomRicardo

rusty cohlebone
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Feb 6, 2006
21,311
Row 14
It was a good cast but Russillo still can't help himself.

He said he was being nuance about Tatum. Dude you just said he was awful without pointing out the good and the bad. There is no nuance with that. Bill was being nuanced and you were rejecting that. Bill tried to provide air cover mostly because probably really bothered Russillo that is starting to become one of the talking heads he tries say he is not.

Life advice for Russillo, if you describe a player's play within a sentence, it is not nuanced take.

I kind of get what is happening to these guys that cover the NBA nationally without being part of the media pool. It is NBA ticket sickness. You end up sitting at home watching multiple games, and everything kind of blurs. The only thing that sticks out are incredible offensive performances, when people are getting in other people's face, or when someone is really bad. Too much basketball basically blurs basketball into Social Media Basketball especially when you aren't watching to break down X's and O's.

You can see with some of the flashier guys, the national guys were really surprised when over a seven game series, they couldn't elevate their team. SGA, Ant, and even Luka to some extent have been a bit more exposed. Luka is at a different level than the other two, however Bill and Russillo were trying to put Luka at the level of BIrd outside of the the Finals, which was insane (I don't think Luka will break into the top 25 of players all time, Bill was trying to say he has a pathway to top 15 which is nuts). Outside of Jokic, I don't think a single top ten player had his stock move up or stay the same over the playoffs.
 

TomRicardo

rusty cohlebone
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Feb 6, 2006
21,311
Row 14
Top Ten Tier List ( I am sure I am missing someone)

MVP
Jokic
Giannis

1-A
Luka
SGA
Tatum
Ant

1-A when Healthy
Embiid
Kawhi
Butler
Zion

Fill in for the fallen
Brunson
AD
Brown
Booker

Lifetime Achievement guys that slip in but aren't quite there anymore
Curry
LeBron
KD
(Kyrie)
 

nattysez

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 30, 2010
8,888
Simmons: What's your prediction for Game 5?
RR: The Celtics' threes are going to start falling, but Luka is really scary. Immediately changes subject.
 

TomRicardo

rusty cohlebone
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Feb 6, 2006
21,311
Row 14
Simmons: What's your prediction for Game 5?
RR: The Celtics' threes are going to start falling, but Luka is really scary. Immediately changes subject.
Russillo will be so hard to the paint on the draft Sunday with a small bit of "I have always been pro the Celtics not sure what some of these people are talking about."
 

luckiestman

Son of the Harpy
SoSH Member
Jul 15, 2005
33,447
Russillo will be so hard to the paint on the draft Sunday with a small bit of "I have always been pro the Celtics not sure what some of these people are talking about."
Clown should be happy he got to watch 2 NBA Finals this year
 

Mystic Merlin

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 21, 2007
47,877
Hartford, CT
Not that it was gonna be any other way, but I enjoyed Bill and his dad on Game 5. Them describing the crowd, especially during the Pritchard halfcourt dagger, was gold. His dad even got choked up at one point about the title - love it.
 

jezza1918

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 19, 2005
3,004
South Dartmouth, MA
Not that it was gonna be any other way, but I enjoyed Bill and his dad on Game 5. Them describing the crowd, especially during the Pritchard halfcourt dagger, was gold. His dad even got choked up at one point about the title - love it.
Sports do such weird things to us - Ive listened to 'Yellow Ledbetter' hundreds if not thousands of times. A handful of times live. Has it made me a bit emotional and sentimental at times? 100%. But it wasnt until the opening rift kicked in this morning at the end of this podcast did my eyes actually well up with tears.
 

m0ckduck

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 20, 2005
2,010
I almost never listen to the podcasts with his dad, but this was an exception for me. The guy has seen a lot of Celtics games in his lifetime and just left a good win. I correctly assumed it would be a pleasant listen.
I forgot that his dad can be seen in that Bon Jovi Dancing Fan video until I was showing it to my son the other day

84440
 

JCizzle

Member
SoSH Member
Dec 11, 2006
21,821
I loved Bill spending 10 minutes trolling the fuck out of Lakers fans over the Minnesota rings. Beautiful. Mahoney had no idea what to do with that level of pettiness.
 

bankshot1

Member
SoSH Member
Feb 12, 2003
25,277
where I was last at
I haven't followed the Karen Read case very closely (wish I had, I'll have to wait for the Netflix biopick) but I see Simmons got a segment on it in today's podcast. I'll listen later, but dollars to dunkins its sure to annoy true crime afficionados.
 

TomRicardo

rusty cohlebone
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Feb 6, 2006
21,311
Row 14
"Hey I know the Celtics won since the last pod but we won't talk about it because Russillo already had to eat 30 minute shit sandwich from his buddy Van Pelt. Lets see if we can build back some credibility."

Then they move into Russillo's sweet spot, talking about contracts while avoiding the actual numbers.
 
Last edited:

moondog80

heart is two sizes two small
SoSH Member
Sep 20, 2005
8,425
I did enjoy the conversation about Giddey/Caruso possibly being the greatest one on one trade with two white guys.
 

TomRicardo

rusty cohlebone
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Feb 6, 2006
21,311
Row 14
It’s the first pod with Russillo since the Celtics won the title and there isn’t a segment on the Celtics?
Russillo rightfully was brutalized by SVP though I don't know if Van Pelt knew he was slamming the shit out of Russillo. Basically Van Pelt just kept going on and on about how ridiculous it was for anyone who knew basketball thought the Mavs had a real chance. Really drove in how ridiculous it was that people thought Kyrie was better than Tatum and Brown. Russillo just sat gaped jaw until it seems Van Pelt caught on when he was making fun of Legler for choosing the Mavs. They moved quickly on to golf where Russillo started talking again.

Edit - I couldn't tell if Russillo brought SVP on because he wanted to take his beating from a friend and it went too far or if Van Pelt didn't realize Russillo was really shoveling shit. My guess it is the former. That said I think Russillo would argue that washed his hands of 2024 Playoff takes.
 

luckiestman

Son of the Harpy
SoSH Member
Jul 15, 2005
33,447
Russillo rightfully was brutalized by SVP though I don't know if Van Pelt knew he was slamming the shit out of Russillo. Basically Van Pelt just kept going on and on about how ridiculous it was for anyone who knew basketball thought the Mavs had a real chance. Really drove in how ridiculous it was that people thought Kyrie was better than Tatum and Brown. Russillo just sat gaped jaw until it seems Van Pelt caught on when he was making fun of Legler for choosing the Mavs. They moved quickly on to golf where Russillo started talking again.
Russillo switching to golf was a throw in the towel moment
 

8slim

has trust issues
SoSH Member
Nov 6, 2001
26,010
Unreal America
I'm a little late with this, but I feel compelled to share... I flipped on Bill's pod while in the car the other day, and accidentally started the one with Russillo instead of his latest. But I figured that I used to like Ryen prior to his embarrassing meltdown discussing the NBA playoffs this spring, so I'd give the episode a shot.

Bill started discussing Paul George and where he could land this offseason. Now, let me be clear, I do not care at all about Paul George or where he lands this offseason. But Bill is very good at building an entertaining, and slightly insane, world of potential deals for these guys, and I found his PG talk to be interesting.

Then he passed it to Russillo... JFC. Ryen started with his patented pregnant pause, and then proceeded to talk for at least 3 full minutes... and said absolutely fucking nothing. I mean, he spoke English, I recognized all of the words he used. However, he vomited forth a lengthy word salad where he didn't offer a discernable point of view, take, insight, or even a friggin' joke. It was gibberish and I moved on to the next episode.

So I've decided once and for all that Russillo sucks. Either this year's NBA playoffs broke him, or he always sucked and I just didn't pay enough attention to realize it.

Bon jour, Ryen.
 

Foxy42

Member
SoSH Member
Mar 1, 2002
3,707
nyc
I think Ryen is much better on his own show with guests he finds interesting. Ex college guys, authors, etc as well as Life Advice which I always enjoy. My sense is that he doesn’t enjoy being on with Bill when he has to play with Bill’s random rankings, frameworks, etc. He comes off as annoyed and unengaged. Bill is good at being entertaining with his crazy, ‘here’s my take, the nba has lost its mind’ stuff while Ryen just doesn’t enjoy that.
 

luckiestman

Son of the Harpy
SoSH Member
Jul 15, 2005
33,447
I'm a little late with this, but I feel compelled to share... I flipped on Bill's pod while in the car the other day, and accidentally started the one with Russillo instead of his latest. But I figured that I used to like Ryen prior to his embarrassing meltdown discussing the NBA playoffs this spring, so I'd give the episode a shot.

Bill started discussing Paul George and where he could land this offseason. Now, let me be clear, I do not care at all about Paul George or where he lands this offseason. But Bill is very good at building an entertaining, and slightly insane, world of potential deals for these guys, and I found his PG talk to be interesting.

Then he passed it to Russillo... JFC. Ryen started with his patented pregnant pause, and then proceeded to talk for at least 3 full minutes... and said absolutely fucking nothing. I mean, he spoke English, I recognized all of the words he used. However, he vomited forth a lengthy word salad where he didn't offer a discernable point of view, take, insight, or even a friggin' joke. It was gibberish and I moved on to the next episode.

So I've decided once and for all that Russillo sucks. Either this year's NBA playoffs broke him, or he always sucked and I just didn't pay enough attention to realize it.

Bon jour, Ryen.

The post draft one isn't bad (listened to it driving). It helps that I have absolutely no idea who any of the non UCONN players and Edey are.
 

8slim

has trust issues
SoSH Member
Nov 6, 2001
26,010
Unreal America
The post draft one isn't bad (listened to it driving). It helps that I have absolutely no idea who any of the non UCONN players and Edey are.
Yup, it was good, listened to it after my my brain exploded listening to Russillo's drivel. Bill wanted the guy the Cs drafted. He's good.
 

nattysez

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 30, 2010
8,888
Yup, it was good, listened to it after my my brain exploded listening to Russillo's drivel. Bill wanted the guy the Cs drafted. He's good.
People who complained that Russillo and Simmons didn't do a post-Finals pod should listen to this one. Simmons said no fewer than 3 times during the pod that he really hoped the Celtics would draft the guy they did. Then they drafted him and Simmons and Russillo spent all of 30 seconds talking about him before moving on to discussing - I kid you not - sports jerseys they have owned. I just think they'd rather pontificate than talk with one another about what actually happened when it comes to the Celtics.
 

8slim

has trust issues
SoSH Member
Nov 6, 2001
26,010
Unreal America
People who complained that Russillo and Simmons didn't do a post-Finals pod should listen to this one. Simmons said no fewer than 3 times during the pod that he really hoped the Celtics would draft the guy they did. Then they drafted him and Simmons and Russillo spent all of 30 seconds talking about him before moving on to discussing - I kid you not - sports jerseys they have owned. I just think they'd rather pontificate than talk with one another about what actually happened when it comes to the Celtics.
Bill did a nice pod with his Dad about the title. I enjoyed it. I don’t need him to spend another episode taking to Russillo about it. It’d suck. Hard.
 

cheech13

Member
SoSH Member
Jan 5, 2006
1,678
Ryen had me in stitches on the draft pod. Him saying when someone is described as “intriguing” it’s another way of saying you aren’t giving them a job or Bill asking for player comp and getting “Gronk with a torn MCL” were really funny.
 
Last edited:

scottyno

late Bloomer
SoSH Member
Dec 7, 2008
11,452
People who complained that Russillo and Simmons didn't do a post-Finals pod should listen to this one. Simmons said no fewer than 3 times during the pod that he really hoped the Celtics would draft the guy they did. Then they drafted him and Simmons and Russillo spent all of 30 seconds talking about him before moving on to discussing - I kid you not - sports jerseys they have owned. I just think they'd rather pontificate than talk with one another about what actually happened when it comes to the Celtics.
Last week he wanted the Celtics to draft Bronny at 30
 

sezwho

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 20, 2005
2,133
Isle of Plum
Bill did a nice pod with his Dad about the title. I enjoyed it. I don’t need him to spend another episode taking to Russillo about it. It’d suck. Hard.
Yeah, I buy this take I enjoyed that episode. Fwiw I think Ryen is just a victim of over exposure now on Bills pod. I think Bill is at the tail end of his podcasting career and at this point what he can do on autopilot is vomit out hours and hours of NBA deep cuts. Pretty sure I’ve heard more than one Jim Loscutoff reference in the last couple weeks alone.

Almost no one can (will?) follow him down that path except Ryen. Just to be clear that I’m not a hater, he does do a good job on his pod with his guests and covers different sports too and I absolutely loved his Chris Long pods.
 
Last edited:

nattysez

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 30, 2010
8,888
I believe Simmons said he's podding tomorrow. I'll be very curious what he has to say about the Celtics' sale.
 

Kliq

Member
SoSH Member
Mar 31, 2013
23,381
Kind of crazy to think it was only ten years ago, and $30 million for three years was considered a big contract for a useful player.
 

moondog80

heart is two sizes two small
SoSH Member
Sep 20, 2005
8,425
Don't ask me how I fell down this rabbit hole today...but listen to BS at the 40-ish-1:20 mark. Not sure I have seen this before.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITYg97NpIFo


"Meaningless draft picks"
He's defended this before by saying that he wasn't aware of the pick swap. But even without that...I'm no NBA wizard, but my instant takes were that the Celtics window is closed, period. And the first Brooklyn pick would likely not be valuable, but the ones further down the road had potential given the age of Brooklyn's roster. I didn't anticipate the bottom falling out like it did, or course. But I was pretty happy with the return for 34 year old Pierce and 35 year old KG.

I like Bill. But this was a bad take in real time.
 

TheGazelle

Member
SoSH Member
Dec 17, 2009
1,298
He's defended this before by saying that he wasn't aware of the pick swap. But even without that...I'm no NBA wizard, but my instant takes were that the Celtics window is closed, period. And the first Brooklyn pick would likely not be valuable, but the ones further down the road had potential given the age of Brooklyn's roster. I didn't anticipate the bottom falling out like it did, or course. But I was pretty happy with the return for 34 year old Pierce and 35 year old KG.

I like Bill. But this was a bad take in real time.
The "what?" after Silver announces the Gobert trade is great, though.
 

Euclis20

Member
SoSH Member
Aug 3, 2004
8,871
Imaginationland
He's defended this before by saying that he wasn't aware of the pick swap. But even without that...I'm no NBA wizard, but my instant takes were that the Celtics window is closed, period. And the first Brooklyn pick would likely not be valuable, but the ones further down the road had potential given the age of Brooklyn's roster. I didn't anticipate the bottom falling out like it did, or course. But I was pretty happy with the return for 34 year old Pierce and 35 year old KG.

I like Bill. But this was a bad take in real time.
It was, but in fairness I believe that was him talking up Giannis early in the clip (and he'd normally be the type to make fun of the foreign guy going against vastly inferior competition), so credit there. He was so awful on tv, which made it entertaining.