ALDS: Yankees versus Indians (Non-Yankees Fan Version)

DennyDoyle'sBoil

Found no thrill on Blueberry Hill
SoSH Member
Sep 9, 2008
26,422
AZ
They are the Houston fucking Astros, people.

Jesus fucking Christ. This is not rocket science.

You're pinning your hopes on the Houston fucking Astros.

"Oh, Boil, look at their OPS. Look what they did to us in the ALDS. Remember when they beat the Yankees in that wild card game? And they have done such a good job of team building through advanced metrics and draft picks. Even Sports Illustrated knew it. And the Yankees aren't ready yet."

Give me a fucking break. They are the Astros. This is the ALCS. Against the Yankees. They are going to shit their pants.

Will there be a moment or two when the Yankees seem on the ropes and that eight pound second baseman is jumping up and down like they actually believe they might win? Yeah, maybe even a couple of them. They. Are. The. Fucking. Astros. You're pinning your hopes on salvaging something left of this shit season on the Houston Fucking Astros. The team that when they play at home you still get surprised there is no pitcher batting because you forgot they are even in the fucking AL. And you have them winning it?

They will flash some stat about Judge's epic strike out prowess in game three, he'll hit a ball 850 feet through the fucking Bronx library, Hinch will soil himself and that will be that.

It sucks. The Yankees will win. Trump will be President. The USA will be out of the World Cup. And somewhere Aaron Fucking Boone and Jessica Fucking Mendoza will have simultaneous orgasms over that gap tooth zombie looking Paul Bunyan mother fucker while you vomit flaming chetohs and funyons on your sneakers.

Sorry. It's the Houston Fucking Astros. Fuck. Grow Up.

(Go Dodgers! Barf.)
 

TFisNEXT

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Jul 21, 2005
10,805
can we hope that the stros hitters stay as disciplined as they were against the sox
I'm envisioning a total shitshow for them. Missing mistake pitches and swinging at horseshit. Basically looking like the Red Sox did the past two postseasons.
 

DeadlySplitter

Member
SoSH Member
Oct 20, 2015
18,185
we were set to be the 3 seed for a long time and face Cleveland. Then it ended up being really unlucky for us to avoid Cleveland?

the playoffs fucking suck dude.
 

Bob Montgomery's Helmet Hat

has big, douchey shoulders
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
They are the Houston fucking Astros, people.

Jesus fucking Christ. This is not rocket science.

You're pinning your hopes on the Houston fucking Astros.

"Oh, Boil, look at their OPS. Look what they did to us in the ALDS. Remember when they beat the Yankees in that wild card game? And they have done such a good job of team building through advanced metrics and draft picks. Even Sports Illustrated knew it. And the Yankees aren't ready yet."

Give me a fucking break. They are the Astros. This is the ALCS. Against the Yankees. They are going to shit their pants.

Will there be a moment or two when the Yankees seem on the ropes and that eight pound second baseman is jumping up and down like they actually believe they might win? Yeah, maybe even a couple of them. They. Are. The. Fucking. Astros. You're pinning your hopes on salvaging something left of this shit season on the Houston Fucking Astros. The team that when they play at home you still get surprised there is no pitcher batting because you forgot they are even in the fucking AL. And you have them winning it?

They will flash some stat about Judge's epic strike out prowess in game three, he'll hit a ball 850 feet through the fucking Bronx library, Hinch will soil himself and that will be that.

It sucks. The Yankees will win. Trump will be President. The USA will be out of the World Cup. And somewhere Aaron Fucking Boone and Jessica Fucking Mendoza will have simultaneous orgasms over that gap tooth zombie looking Paul Bunyan mother fucker while you vomit flaming chetohs and funyons on your sneakers.

Sorry. It's the Houston Fucking Astros. Fuck. Grow Up.

(Go Dodgers! Barf.)
tl; dr
Astros in 6
 

dhellers

Member
SoSH Member
Oct 31, 2005
1,766
Silver Spring, Maryland
They are the Houston fucking Astros, people.

Jesus fucking Christ. This is not rocket science.

You're pinning your hopes on the Houston fucking Astros.

"Oh, Boil, look at their OPS. Look what they did to us in the ALDS. Remember when they beat the Yankees in that wild card game? And they have done such a good job of team building through advanced metrics and draft picks. Even Sports Illustrated knew it. And the Yankees aren't ready yet."

Give me a fucking break. They are the Astros. This is the ALCS. Against the Yankees. They are going to shit their pants.

Will there be a moment or two when the Yankees seem on the ropes and that eight pound second baseman is jumping up and down like they actually believe they might win? Yeah, maybe even a couple of them. They. Are. The. Fucking. Astros. You're pinning your hopes on salvaging something left of this shit season on the Houston Fucking Astros. The team that when they play at home you still get surprised there is no pitcher batting because you forgot they are even in the fucking AL. And you have them winning it?

They will flash some stat about Judge's epic strike out prowess in game three, he'll hit a ball 850 feet through the fucking Bronx library, Hinch will soil himself and that will be that.

It sucks. The Yankees will win. Trump will be President. The USA will be out of the World Cup. And somewhere Aaron Fucking Boone and Jessica Fucking Mendoza will have simultaneous orgasms over that gap tooth zombie looking Paul Bunyan mother fucker while you vomit flaming chetohs and funyons on your sneakers.

Sorry. It's the Houston Fucking Astros. Fuck. Grow Up.

(Go Dodgers! Barf.)
F a duck, but that means I have to set aside my Laker induced hatred of all things LA?
 

Doc Zero

Member
SoSH Member
Dec 6, 2007
9,498
They are the Houston fucking Astros, people.

Jesus fucking Christ. This is not rocket science.

You're pinning your hopes on the Houston fucking Astros.

"Oh, Boil, look at their OPS. Look what they did to us in the ALDS. Remember when they beat the Yankees in that wild card game? And they have done such a good job of team building through advanced metrics and draft picks. Even Sports Illustrated knew it. And the Yankees aren't ready yet."

Give me a fucking break. They are the Astros. This is the ALCS. Against the Yankees. They are going to shit their pants.

Will there be a moment or two when the Yankees seem on the ropes and that eight pound second baseman is jumping up and down like they actually believe they might win? Yeah, maybe even a couple of them. They. Are. The. Fucking. Astros. You're pinning your hopes on salvaging something left of this shit season on the Houston Fucking Astros. The team that when they play at home you still get surprised there is no pitcher batting because you forgot they are even in the fucking AL. And you have them winning it?

They will flash some stat about Judge's epic strike out prowess in game three, he'll hit a ball 850 feet through the fucking Bronx library, Hinch will soil himself and that will be that.

It sucks. The Yankees will win. Trump will be President. The USA will be out of the World Cup. And somewhere Aaron Fucking Boone and Jessica Fucking Mendoza will have simultaneous orgasms over that gap tooth zombie looking Paul Bunyan mother fucker while you vomit flaming chetohs and funyons on your sneakers.

Sorry. It's the Houston Fucking Astros. Fuck. Grow Up.

(Go Dodgers! Barf.)
Love this
 

budcrew08

Member
SoSH Member
Mar 30, 2007
5,696
upstate NY
They are the Houston fucking Astros, people.

Jesus fucking Christ. This is not rocket science.

You're pinning your hopes on the Houston fucking Astros.

"Oh, Boil, look at their OPS. Look what they did to us in the ALDS. Remember when they beat the Yankees in that wild card game? And they have done such a good job of team building through advanced metrics and draft picks. Even Sports Illustrated knew it. And the Yankees aren't ready yet."

Give me a fucking break. They are the Astros. This is the ALCS. Against the Yankees. They are going to shit their pants.

Will there be a moment or two when the Yankees seem on the ropes and that eight pound second baseman is jumping up and down like they actually believe they might win? Yeah, maybe even a couple of them. They. Are. The. Fucking. Astros. You're pinning your hopes on salvaging something left of this shit season on the Houston Fucking Astros. The team that when they play at home you still get surprised there is no pitcher batting because you forgot they are even in the fucking AL. And you have them winning it?

They will flash some stat about Judge's epic strike out prowess in game three, he'll hit a ball 850 feet through the fucking Bronx library, Hinch will soil himself and that will be that.

It sucks. The Yankees will win. Trump will be President. The USA will be out of the World Cup. And somewhere Aaron Fucking Boone and Jessica Fucking Mendoza will have simultaneous orgasms over that gap tooth zombie looking Paul Bunyan mother fucker while you vomit flaming chetohs and funyons on your sneakers.

Sorry. It's the Houston Fucking Astros. Fuck. Grow Up.

(Go Dodgers! Barf.)
This gave me a great laugh in a shitty sports moment. Thanks.
 

brandonchristensen

mad photochops
SoSH Member
Feb 4, 2012
23,836
Yankees were the better team. I called it from the Minnesota game. The Yankees are somehow legit.

I don’t see the Astros playing them as tough as they did the Sox.

I could see the Yankees and Dodgers in the WS.