Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

Leather

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I used to travel all over the place for business so I get extra annoyed with his bullshit.

1) Why didn't he just take the fucking ACELA he always used to rave about? He'd have saved gas money and wouldn't have had to park anywhere.

2) He paid for valet parking. (http://www.westincopleyplaceboston.com/parking).

Let me repeat that last one:

HE PAID FOR VALET PARKING AND IS BITCHING ABOUT PAYING FOR IT.
 

Corsi

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Let me repeat that last one:

HE PAID FOR VALET PARKING AND IS BITCHING ABOUT PAYING FOR IT.
I was just going to post this. My desk overlooks the Westin Copley. He could have saved $25 by parking literally a block away, rather than valeting his car. There's also a Starbucks right in between, so he could have gotten himself a mocha on the walk back.

 

Leather

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What a tone-deaf, idiotic, asshole.

During a time when the cost of healthcare is the topic of a years-long national debate, this dicknose spends what has to be about $600 in travel costs alone (cost of the hotel plus gas and assorted shit) to go see a particular doctor for what is certainly a non-serious issue (given his priorities in the retelling and the jocular tone).

Then he has the gall to complain about it as if he's a working class stiff like everyone else.

Next on MMQB:

Annoying Car-Related Post of the Week:

Buying cars these days is such a hassle. I went to buy a new BMW 7 series the other day, and the color I wanted was out of stock. "But it says the royal blue is in stock on the site" I said to the nicely-attired man who was helping me. "Oh, I'm sorry," he said "the website must be out of date." Great. So here I am, offering to pay $95,000 for a car and you're making me wait another day? He agreed to knock off $500 from the price, so I didn't leave, but it was almost enough to make me head over to the Jaguar dealership. Key word: Almost.
 

Toe Nash

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I used to travel all over the place for business so I get extra annoyed with his bullshit.

1) Why didn't he just take the fucking ACELA he always used to rave about? He'd have saved gas money and wouldn't have had to park anywhere.

2) He paid for valet parking. (http://www.westincopleyplaceboston.com/parking).

Let me repeat that last one:

HE PAID FOR VALET PARKING AND IS BITCHING ABOUT PAYING FOR IT.
Also, he could have gotten his parking for free if he had bothered to read and mention a promo code (unless they've just added this recently):

With our special package the parking is free, leaving you free to simply enjoy and relax in Boston. Book your next stay and receive complimentary self-parking (save up to $46 per night![emphasis mine]) at The Westin Copley Place Boston, so you can spend more time shopping at Copley Square and enjoying the season in New England.
Book online, or call 866-716-8121 and reference promo code PSA to make your reservation today.
 

Leather

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Why is it "Sad"?

I'm first (or second, or third) on the list of people that thinks Moss is done, but I don't think people who mistakenly think a guy is better than he really is, a guy who was once arguably the greatest receiver ever, are "sad."

"Foolish"? Probably. "Asinine"? Maybe.

But King sounds like the condescending asshole he is by using "sad."

"Oh, look at the little people, unknowledgeable in football unlike I am. How sad it must be to be so uninformed!"

Fuck him.
 

BigJimEd

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Book your next stay and receive complimentary self-parking (save up to $46 per night!
You don't really expect him to park his own car, do you? Valets should pay King for the honor of parking his car.


Why does anyone read Peter King?
 

Shelterdog

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Why does anyone read Peter King?
He has such a big megaphone that he gets some interesting scoops from time to time. Largely suck-up pieces about Favre, Peyton, Bill Polian, the Falcons (Dimitroff must give him a ton of information) the Giants organization and the Commish, but if you're an agent or team and you want to leak a story he's one of your go-to guys.
 

fairlee76

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I was just going to post this. My desk overlooks the Westin Copley. He could have saved $25 by parking literally a block away, rather than valeting his car. There's also a Starbucks right in between, so he could have gotten himself a mocha on the walk back.

Walk a block? Have you seen Peter King? I think there is a better chance of Whitney Houston walking a block.

I stopped reading his stuff a while ago, but I do love checking on folks' reactions to him in here. Much more worthwhile than slogging through his bloviations. And the coffee nerd stuff, jesus. "I am such an experimental coffee drinker!!! I go to this little mom-and-pop place, what's the name again? Oh, right, Starbucks!" It is amusing and horrifying at the same time that millions of football fans take his stuff seriously.
 

soxfan121

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Don't make the mistake of reading his latest "effort" - a lament about how hard it is to be criticized for his HoF choices and a threat to quit.

I look forward to drleather's recap.
 

Leather

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e. Chad Ochocinco's first season in New England is over. He played in 17 games, including the playoffs, and caught 16 passes. And those who waved goodbye to him in Cincinnati and said he would be a poor route-runner and wouldn't fit in with Tom Brady are now saying, "Told you so.''
Show me one motherfucking person from Cincinnati or elsewhere that said the reason Ocho Cinco wouldn't work out in N.E. is "poor route running and not fitting in with Tom Brady."

What? There aren't any? They were all saying "He's a cancer!"? Right.

And without further ado, with a shout out to Soxfan121 ('sup dog!)...

I think these are my Hall of Fame thoughts, as one of 44 voters who has been taking kill shots on various parts of my body in the last eight days:
a. This was my 20th year as a voter.
Humblebrag...
If the Hall wants to institute term limits for the voters, to try to break some of the logjams that seem to be happening, it's fine with me. I won't argue. We didn't sign contracts-til-death when the Hall asked us to be on the Selection Committee. Anytime they want me to leave, all they have to do is show me the door.
Jesus. Sounds like the only logjam is the one up King's ass. Way to say "fuck you" to the Selection Committee, when it's the players who are complaing. Jesus. What a whiny bitch. But King wouldn't dare have the balls to tell Willie Roaf to shut up, because King needs to keep kissing players' asses. What a spineless whiny bitch.

b. Now, if you want term limits, you have to understand what you'll be getting. You'll be throwing out veteran NFL media folk and importing some less-experienced ones, in many cases.
"You'll lose me! I'm the best! Don't believe me? Just ask me!"

I understand the sentiment to throw the bums out, as in Congress.

Oh well, maybe you don't want me anymore. Maybe it's not my longevity that concerns you, but rather my job performance. Maybe we haven't done such a good job. Well...


But I would ask this question: Do you want a new panel of bums if most of the replacements haven't covered the NFL long enough to have worked a game that Andre Reed played in?
"Have I TOLD YOU HOW FUCKING LONG I'VE BEEN HERE!?"

I work with and like Mike Florio. But as I told him the other day, it's personally insulting to read him say the 44 committee members are in this, in part, as some sort of power trip to hold some sway over the people we cover. I can speak for one person on the committee -- me. And I don't do this for the power.
"I don't like to throw my weight around. Except to publicly complain about shit that affects me directly. like being criticised for Hall of Fame voting. Oh, I also like to publicly embarrass colleagues like Mike Tirico. But I'm only speaking for myself, and who am I, really?"

d. I want all Hall votes to be public. I have told Hall officials that several times. I think it's important for the public to know who we do and don't support. If you want to write to someone to try to effect change -- either in the transparency issue or in the issue of putting players and club officials on the election panel -- write to Steve Perry, president, Pro Football Hall of Fame, 2121 George Halas Drive NW, Canton, Ohio 44708.
"Not interested in power. Or, you know, influencing things that I want to influence. Nope."

Please stop asking questions like, "Is Eli Manning a Hall of Famer now?''
"STOP FUCKING ASKING ME TO GIVE MY OPINIONS ON FOOTBALL! ONLY ASK ME ABOUT ANDRE REED! I SAW HIM PLAY! WHICH WAS Very...important...to...make...a......good....judgment...on his, uh....uh...hall of fame candidacy. Shit. Wait."
 

Darnell's Son

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Bravo, Dr. Leather. My only complaint would be giving a shout out to soxfan121. It was very Peter King of you to acknowledge your fan's love. You sound like Peter King.(sarcasm intended)
 

Freddy Linn

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Where it rains. No, seriously.
To underscore Leather, King says not to evaluate a player as a Hall of Fame candidate while they are playing, only after they are retired ("Hall of Fame credentials are determined once a player has retired:").

I cannot wait until he abstains from the arguments about the chances of current players getting into the Hall.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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Leather, big fan. But, this:

Show me one motherfucking person from Cincinnati or elsewhere that said the reason Ocho Cinco wouldn't work out in N.E. is "poor route running and not fitting in with Tom Brady."
Back in November, I heard Mike Felger say this and that he had heard it from a bunch of Cincinnati reporters. I can't remember if the beat guys told him on the record but the prevailing thought was Ochocinco could do that in Cinci with Palmer and the Bengals' offense, but he couldn't do it with Brady and the more precise Patriots offensive plans.

Unfortunately, I think that King is spot on with this.
 

Leather

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Look, if you don't want me to post in this thread anymore, all the dopes have to do is ban me from it. I've been doing it for two years. But let me ask you something: do you think someone who can't remember King's posts about his daughter's softball team is going to do as good a job?

Oh, and stop asking me questions about Peter King.
 

soxfan121

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I'd read drleather's coffee and beer recommendations. I'd take his travel advice. I'd even listen to his stories about girls softball and how hard his life is to manage, what with all the awesomeness.

But I draw the line at the SoSH Hall of Fame voting. I think we oughta let the lurkers vote on whether JMOH or Shelterdog is more deserving of the honor.
 

Carmine Hose

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I love how the old gaurd media lean on the crutch of having "worked" a game in which a player played. What? You sat there from a nosebleed press box and watched the game, as did 80,000+ other fans live and millions of others on TV. Wow!!!

The difference between their experience of these guys' careers and the fans is they get to talk to them directly (and that separation is evaporating annually). How does that relate to what we both see on the field, thus making you the more proper arbiter of a player's greatness?

Peter King is a writer, not a football expert. A high school football coach knows more about football than him. Yet, he's been deemed one of the ELITE 44 that determine who should receive the golden coat. And with that comes the power to significantly impact these mens' livelihoods in their post-playing days. That seems fair?
 

DJnVa

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Thank christ King is around to set "everyone" straight:
Wait---I haven't a single person, when discussing Randy's "comeback", say that they thought a team signing him would get the 2007 Moss,
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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You know who we should dig up and sign? Johnny Unitas. I bet he'll be just as good as he was back in 1959. Then let's grab Walter Payton's corpse and every other Hall of Famer, because they're bound to be as good as they were in their primes (despite their untimely demises), right?
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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If you were expecting hot Patterson-on-Patterson action, it's moved from the Peter King thread to here.

I hope that it gets the eyeballs that it deserves.
 

minischwab

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King drops this little gem into this week's MMQB:
I don't expect Wes Welker to leave New England, but if he does, that'll add to the free-agent mayhem.
Having said that about Welker, if I'm Bucs GM Mark Dominik, Welker agent David Dunn is my first phone call out of the box on March 13. Welker's just what Josh Freeman needs.
But I wouldn't be surprised if the Bucs and Chiefs each steer clear of Welker. Something Bill Parcells passed down to Bill Belichick about steering clear of each other's free agents; Parcells needed a kicker in Dallas when Adam Vinatieri was free, but he wouldn't touch him. I'm not sure about it, but I wouldn't be surprised to see Scott Pioli and Belichick disciple Greg Schiano take a hands-off approach with Welker.


I guess he forgot about the whole Curtis Martin situation. Seriously, did he just make this up in the middle of a paragraph? Don't most coaches poach players off former teams? I can think of plenty of guys Parcells signed off of former teams when he went to a new club.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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When Parcells was starting in New England, the Patriots were like the Giants north. Same thing when he went to the Jets, he grabbed every New England guy he could find.

Peter King and Nick Cafardo are the same moron.
 

JokersWildJIMED

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There is a difference. Parcells took Pats off of Pete Carroll's squad...he had no loyalty to Carroll...also, by the time Parcells came to NE Ray Handley was gone from the Giants, Parcells would have no loyalty to Reeves.
 

Leather

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Wouldn't this be considered collusion?

In the big picture, how would this be a good thing for the sport?

"Oh, I really could use that guy, but I'm not going to help my team (i.e. do my job) because five years ago I worked with his old GM."
 

DJnVa

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I guess he forgot about the whole Curtis Martin situation. Seriously, did he just make this up in the middle of a paragraph? Don't most coaches poach players off former teams? I can think of plenty of guys Parcells signed off of former teams when he went to a new club.
He's talking about poaching the players of former coaches, not former teams. It's loyalty to each other, not organizations.
 

DJnVa

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No idea. Although Cox's final season in NY his coach was Al Groh. He was a bit player by then.

Then again, I'm sure Parcells POV depended on the situation.
 

Leather

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Strangest thing in the Delta terminal after I flew into LaGuardia late Sunday night. A woman stood outside the door leading from the terminal to baggage claim, where gypsy cabbies and limo drivers with signs always wait. I heard these three sentences: "No, I need you to come inside the terminal. I am not going down there with those guys all waiting. You've got to come in and help me.''
Ma'am, it's New York. It's a big airport. Those men don't bite. You put your head down, ignore them and walk outside. You'll be fine.
Once again, the everyman PK passes judgment on the great unwashed masses.

1) gypsy is widely considered a racial slur.
2) It's ironic that he uses a racial slur to defend those he just slurred from the latent racism of some random woman, but that's PK!
3) That's not enough of a snapshot of that woman's conversation to impune any racist animus (or whatever) on the woman. It seems apparent that she has a lot of baggae, she needs help. In situations like that, it is common at LGA to get bombarded by dudes asking you if you need help with your shit and a ride (which is, not to mention, illegal because it's a nuisance and rips off the legitimate cabbies. Not that I have a problem with that, but still.). Therefore, I think it's personally reasonable for the woman to be saying to the person picking her up (husband?) "Hey, no you should park, come help with all my shit."
4) What the fuck does Peter King know about it? He obviously gets towncar service from his place/office to the airport. All frequent business travelers do in NYC.
5) What the fuck does it being NYC or being a "big airport" have anything to do with the situation? She might as well be in Dubuque: she still has some baggage she needs help with and doesn't feel like being hassled. Christ. Let's not turn her into Axl Rose circa 1988.

"Peter King, it's an election year and Mexico is south of here: try minding your own fucking business."



Tweet of the Week III

"Can't wait to not watch The Artist when it's on HBO or Showtime.''
-- @PeteAbe, Boston Globe baseball writer Pete Abraham, following the awarding for Best Picture Sunday night at the Oscars.
I'm so fucking glad PK decided to fill me in on that.

e. Congrats to the Vancouver Canucks. In the span of 24 hours, they went to Detroit and broke the Wings' 23-game home winning streak and then won in New Jersey against one of the hottest teams in the league.
"I FUCKING LOVE FRONTRUNNERS! AND I ALSO CONVENIENTLY IGNORE IT WHEN TEAMS I LIKE ACT LIKE ASSHOLES, BUT NEVER FORGET IT WHEN TEAMS I DON'T LIKE ACT LIKE ASSHOLES!"

f. Finally saw Ides of March. Disturbing, if you know the outcome, but well done and politically smart.
It's "disturbing" if I know the outcome? Wait... So, it's disturbing if I currently know the outcome, or disturbing to watch if I already know the outcome ahead of time? But in the case of the latter, why would I watch... huh?!

Whatever. PK thinks it was a disturbing movie. Evidently he doesn't think politicians ever have affairs. What a fucking simp, yet again. "Hi, I'm Peter King! I'm so ignorant I get really upset when people don't live up to my ignorant expectatations! Doop dee doo!"

h. Coffeenerdness: Ordered my latte at the JW Marriott Starbucks in Indianapolis Sunday morning. Turned around to see 49ers quarterback coach Geep Chryst. "Ordering behind you at Starbucks,'' Chryst said, "is like going after Michael Jordan in a dunk contest.'' Why, thank you.
Not so sure that should be read as a compliment, there, fat guy.
 

Smiling Joe Hesketh

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"Gypsy cab" is a term I've heard used before to indicate independent cab operators, not attached to a big company like Yellow Cab or whatever.

I'm fairly sure that it's not a racist statement here.

PK is a royal buffoon, of course.

EDIT: More from wiki:

While medallion taxicabs in New York are always yellow, car service vehicles may be any color but yellow, and are usually black. For this reason, these taxi operators are sometimes called “black car” services. Despite the de jure prohibition on picking up passengers who hail on the street, some livery cabs nevertheless do so anyway, often to make extra money. When a livery cab engages in street pick-ups, it becomes known as a "gypsy cab." They are often found in areas not routinely visited by medallion cabs, and authorities tend to turn a blind eye to the practice rather than leave sections of the city without cab service. The use of gypsy cabs is strictly at the rider’s risk, and it is recommended that passengers negotiate a fare with the driver before entering, as the cabs are not equipped with meters, and fares are not regulated by the TLC. The driver also is taking a risk that the passenger will leave without paying.
 

Leather

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Goddamn it. I always assumed it was a term of racist origins.

Evidently, it's more like "jimmies."
 

Average Reds

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Once again, the everyman PK passes judgment on the great unwashed masses.

1) gypsy is widely considered a racial slur.
2) It's ironic that he uses a racial slur to defend those he just slurred from the latent racism of some random woman, but that's PK!
3) That's not enough of a snapshot of that woman's conversation to impune any racist animus (or whatever) on the woman. It seems apparent that she has a lot of baggae, she needs help. In situations like that, it is common at LGA to get bombarded by dudes asking you if you need help with your shit and a ride (which is, not to mention, illegal because it's a nuisance and rips off the legitimate cabbies. Not that I have a problem with that, but still.). Therefore, I think it's personally reasonable for the woman to be saying to the person picking her up (husband?) "Hey, no you should park, come help with all my shit."
4) What the fuck does Peter King know about it? He obviously gets towncar service from his place/office to the airport. All frequent business travelers do in NYC.
5) What the fuck does it being NYC or being a "big airport" have anything to do with the situation? She might as well be in Dubuque: she still has some baggage she needs help with and doesn't feel like being hassled. Christ. Let's not turn her into Axl Rose circa 1988.

"Peter King, it's an election year and Mexico is south of here: try minding your own fucking business."
Just to back up SJH, "Gypsy cab" is a common term with no racist connotations. And while he delivers the message in spectacularly douchetastic fashion, King is right about the woman.

He's an insufferable elitist moron whenever he discusses his travel experiences, but like a stopped clock, he's occasionally correct.
 

Leather

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How is he right about the woman? At best, its inconclusive. In fact, it's the very definition of a context-dependent judgment.

My problem with all of his little "travel anecdotes" are that the ultimate purpose is to show Peter King in a better light. He puts people down in order to make himself look more tolerant, more patient, more stoic, more brave, more manly. Therefore, I put the burden on him to show how what the other person is doing is somehow a big deal. I just don't see this as a big deal. Yes, she might have been a pain in the ass or a stubborn old bag. Whatever. The bottom line is that his choice to include this as his "travel hassle of the week" is a bigger douche move than whatever it is that she did. I used to travel for work while I lived in NYC for 7 years. I've probably flown in and out of LGA a hundred times or more. This would not even blip on the fucking radar in terms of "notable shit that I noticed while travelling."

The fact that Peter King, NFL Man of Mystery, travelor of the Big East, gets bent out of shape when he encounters, at worst, an annoying and clueless woman at a New York City International Airport of all places, is far more damning than anything the woman did or said.

EDIT: I mean, really, it boils down to this:

"Can you believe this woman who just got off a plane in the dead of winter, who has to wait for someone to pick her up and help her with her baggage, is being disagreeable and is in such a foul mood? My WORD! My readers won't believe this when I tell them!" - Peter King on his way to a warm and waiting, pre-paid, Towncar with driver carrying his bag.
 

Average Reds

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How is he right about the woman? At best, its inconclusive. In fact, it's the very definition of a context-dependent judgment.
Well, he's right about that woman because I have seen that person many, many times in that specific airport and understand exactly what he is talking about. The woman was overwhelmed by the scene and wanted her friend/husband/whoever to come get her because she was intimidated by the prospect of running the gauntlet of gypsy cabdrivers. And to be clear, I understand her feelings.

None of that means that King isn't correct in saying that the way to handle it is to just walk through them like they aren't there. The problem is that this sort of certainty comes from a level of experience that this woman clearly lacks, and rather than demonstrating empathy and offering to help the woman, King writes about her in a fashion that doesn't even bother to disguise his contempt for those less sophisticated than himself.

That's why I indicated that despite being correct about what the woman should do, King is an insufferable douchebag for writing about it in this fashion.

My problem with all of his little "travel anecdotes" are that the ultimate purpose is to show Peter King in a better light. He puts people down in order to make himself look more tolerant, more patient, more stoic, more brave, more manly. Therefore, I put the burden on him to show how what the other person is doing is somehow a big deal. I just don't see this as a big deal. Yes, she might have been a pain in the ass or a stubborn old bag. Whatever. The bottom line is that his choice to include this as his "travel hassle of the week" is a bigger douche move than whatever it is that she did. I used to travel for work while I lived in NYC for 7 years. I've probably flown in and out of LGA a hundred times or more. This would not even blip on the fucking radar in terms of "notable shit that I noticed while travelling."

The fact that Peter King, NFL Man of Mystery, travelor of the Big East, gets bent out of shape when he encounters, at worst, an annoying and clueless woman at a New York City International Airport of all places, is far more damning than anything the woman did or said.

EDIT: I mean, really, it boils down to this:

"Can you believe this woman who just got off a plane in the dead of winter, who has to wait for someone to pick her up and help her with her baggage, is being disagreeable and is in such a foul mood? My WORD! My readers won't believe this when I tell them!" - Peter King on his way to a warm and waiting, pre-paid, Towncar with driver carrying his bag.
I don't think there is any disagreement about this at all. I mean, this sort of narcissism is King's defining characteristic.
 

Leather

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In 2004, when Ebersol was mourning the loss of his 14-year-old son, Teddy, in a plane crash, Goodell got Paul Tagliabue and then-NFLPA head Gene Upshaw to each fund a suite in the dormitory the Ebersol family had donated to Teddy's private school in Connecticut. Dick Ebersol was overcome with emotion when he toured the dorm and saw little plaques outside the two rooms, side by side, noting the NFL's and NFLPA's generosity. It's a gesture from Goodell the Ebersol family will never forget.
Fast-forward to the 2009 negotiations for a two-year extension, through 2013, to NBC's contract with the NFL. The NFL, according to Ebersol, was stuck on a rights fee of $600 million year for the 2012 and 2013 seasons, though NBC wasn't getting a Super Bowl in either season. Ebersol and Goodell had a few back-and-forth discussions, and Goodell finally said the NFL wouldn't accept a dime less. "There was a coldness and a 'that's it' kind of tone in Roger's voice that was chilling,'' Ebersol said.


"Tonight: Successful business men tend to be hard negotiators, even if they sometimes show compassion. News at 11."

You know, I think this really gets down to Peter King's naivete. Fucker just doesn't get how the world really works. That's why he's so shocked when things deviate from his view of how they should work.

Peter King really doesn't believe that people can have two sides to them. He doesn't understand how Bill Belichick can be a great coach but can't be bothered with the press. He doesn't understand how a successful business man can not only be a hard negotiator (i.e. do his job) and also have a soft side. He doesn't understand how a player can be a really good guy, but also a shitty player. He doesn't understand how a player can be an all-time great yet still be derided by fans across the country. He doesn't understand how it might come across as tone-deaf to be complaining about bad hotel food when the hotel in question is next to a footbal stadium during the AFC Championship game, because, hey he's a good guy. He's not like those selfish rich people. His world is black and white, just like football. It's win or lose; home or away; legal or foul. And that's why, when he's forced to change his mind about something (like Bill Belichick), he takes it so hard. He's 100% invested, and he has to not simply re-think his position, no, he has to slow down, stop, fill up the gas tank, turn around, look both ways, slowly accelerate, and then head in the new direction. It's work for Peter King to change his mind, because his mind is only capable of going in one direction at once.

That's why we've got him this week thinking that Gregg Williams is the reason for everything bad that's happened in the last 3 years. From Peyton to Favre, it's all Gregg Williams' fault, and that's the end of it.

I really hope, somehow, proof comes out that Steve Gleason threw a $20 on the bounty table, just so King has to eat shit.

Is it my imagination, or is no politician in the history of the world in favor of the college football season ending the way it does right now?
King is wrong here. Nero actually supported the BCS system. As did (little known fact) Mankato, MN city councilman Fred Larsson before he died in 1943. Napoleon himself stated: "American college football will face a trying time in the early 21st century. By selling the Louisiana Territory, I hope to avoid France's entangelment in such a needlessly divisive issue", which is inconclusive.

Really, though:
Who. The fuck. Cares. What. Politicians. Think. About. The. BCS.

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week
Thursday, 5:20 a.m., JetBlue Terminal, JFK Airport, New York: Hundreds of travelers, maybe 2,500 or 3,000, snake around the kiosks in the terminal until they reach the labyrinthine maze to get to the open X-ray portals. It is a stunning sight. Only once in my travels -- at the airport in Paris a few years ago -- have I seen a security line like this. People enter the terminal and jaws hit the floor. The JetBlues scurry to open more security lines, and finally, after maybe 35 minutes, the line starts moving pretty well. Time to get through security: 66 minutes.
Friday, 5:25 a.m., Baton Rouge (La.) Airport: I am ninth in line for the morning rush (four early planes) at the lone security gate. There is nothing noteworthy to report. No jousting with TSA people. Nothing. Time to get through security: five minutes. The time from my rental-car drop to sitting at the gate: 13 minutes.
1) I've been in the JetBlue terminal at least 6 times, and unless things have changed in the past 3 years, there's no fucking way it accommdates 2,500 people. 500, maybe, sure. Maybe even 1,000.

2) Is Peter King surpised that Baton Rouge has a short line? I don't get it. He even says himself that there's nothing noteworthy. Huh.

"I got a very big statement to make tomorrow at 1 o'clock.''
--@ChrisJohnson28, the Tennessee running back, who had an off-year in 2011, at 2:13 a.m. Eastern Time Saturday.
"Statement is I'm gonna lead the league n rushing this year save this''
--@ChrisJohnson28, at 1:15 p.m. Saturday.
Stop the presses.
What a clueless fucking hypocrite.

f. RIP, Davy Jones. Third and fourth grade, Enfield, Conn., saving allowance to buy 45s of Last Train to Clarksville and I'm a Believer and Valleri. I never got into the silly TV show, but the music for little punks like me was gold. Gold, Jerry!
1) I love how King was too cool for the tv show...as a 3rd grader!
2) I love how he backs this up by referring to himself as a "little punk" (that listened to "I'm a Believer"!)
3) That Seinfeld quote is 100% misused, unless he's referring to his stupidity as comedic gold.