cornwalls@6 said:
The fact that it's the Friday before opening day, as defending champions, and a DV/Murder story is, at least to some degree, a significant part of the story, kind of makes the case for why NESN/Red Sox need to move on from Remy. I'm in the camp that thinks this a horrible, complicated mess of a story, and making absolute moral judgments about he and his wife's culpability in this, is a dicey proposition at best. But, watching a baseball game should be a relief from this kind of thing. And his continued presence in the booth does not fully provide that.
Cornwalls@6, I don't mean to point you out individually, but I am going to use your post as an example of what I meant by "We all enable..." Of course we'd like baseball, or any leisure activity, to be a relief from such things. But here we are, presented on a nightly basis with a situation that almost requires us to remember what happened to Jennifer Martell. I think the general public being forced to remember that this awful situation happened, and that it happens too often, is maybe a way to change how we view DV. Maybe it makes a few of us volunteer to help. Maybe it makes some of us think twice before using derogatory language about women, even in jest. Maybe it makes one of us intervene when we see a man in parking lot grab his partner's arm too roughly. Maybe it makes us think about it instead of doing anything NOT to think about it. I apologize if I made some who have been outspoken about this issue feel as if I implicated them, personally, in this murder, and in all DV cases. Truly, it was not my intention to single any person or opinion out and say, "Well, really, it's your fault, not Jerry Remy's". But the truth is, I implicate myself, too. I implicate all of us. It's not personal, it's societal. "I, You, We, Us" - it's all of us, together. If we are always looking for comfort and relief in life, in the face of some awful things that happen, well, what will ever change with those awful things? And I think what probably gets me the most excitable about this particular issue on this particular board is that I have seen all of us do some amazing things in the name of incredibly worthy causes, even in the face of massive discomfort and pain. All of us, together. We have made a difference in the world. Violence against women and DV - they are hidden in plain sight, they have become just "one of those things" that happen in our world. But if you look beyond the surface, you'll see that these too, are worthy causes. And I feel like calling for Jerry Remy's head - well, I guess I believe that we're better than that here. Because that won't solve any problem that isn't just a surface blemish. I am certain we, here, could make a difference in some people's lives if we decided that this situation, both specifically, and more importantly in general, disgusted us as much as childhood cancer does, or AIDS, or the Marathon Bombings last year. But it is really uncomfortable, and most people, me included, want to just make it go the hell away. Because somewhere inside, we all know that it could be our mother, our daughter, sister, aunt, friend, niece...in fact, there is very little likelihood that you don't know someone who has been in an abusive relationship or who has experienced violence because she is a woman. Very, very unlikely.
I'm sorry if I offended anyone. Like I said in my first post, I knew I'd get riled up once I started writing, and I did. This issue is close to my heart and I am passionate about it. I need to remember to not dismiss other people's opinions, even when they don't mesh with mine. But I hope I have at least opened another way in which we can view what's happening with Jerry Remy. And maybe we can find a way to do something about this instead of just being so angry and upset (I read the Globe article, too, and it disgusted me as much as it disgusted those of you who disagree with me. I think we're all in agreement that it was incredibly sad to read).