Dan Shaughnessy: Taking a dump in your mouth one column at a time
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In the interest of providing a public service to anyone who makes the mistake of taking Dan Shaughnessy's opinions seriously on the subject of baseball, I would like to highlight this opinion from a mere six days ago:
I know that columnists are paid to rile the fan base up, but this is just too stupid to excuse away so quickly.
in light of the fact that the Red Sox have reportedly secured the services of Adrian Gonzalez for an average of $20.125 million per year.
I know that columnists are paid to rile the fan base up, but this is just too stupid to excuse away so quickly.
Dan shocked the shit out of me this morning when I discovered not one, but two almost universally positive articles with his name on them at the Globe website.
http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/articles/2010/12/10/sudden_status_as_favorites_is_richly_deserved/
http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/articles/2010/12/12/signing_makes_for_full_holiday_stocking/
Edit: But on closer inspection, it seems he just can't help it.
http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/articles/2010/12/10/sudden_status_as_favorites_is_richly_deserved/
http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/articles/2010/12/12/signing_makes_for_full_holiday_stocking/
Edit: But on closer inspection, it seems he just can't help it.
Tex tourette's.
I know I should know better, but...but...
http://www.boston.com/sports/football/patriots/articles/2011/01/10/air_brush_between_belichick_ryan_would_not_be_pretty_picture/
This may very well be the worst column ever printed in the history of the Boston Globe Sports section. It's so eye-poppingly horrible that I feel like I MUST be missing something crucial that would make this make sense. "Let's pretend Belichick and Ryan are on the same flight, with the dumbest and most obvious jokes ever"? Did this just happen?
http://www.boston.com/sports/football/patriots/articles/2011/01/10/air_brush_between_belichick_ryan_would_not_be_pretty_picture/
This may very well be the worst column ever printed in the history of the Boston Globe Sports section. It's so eye-poppingly horrible that I feel like I MUST be missing something crucial that would make this make sense. "Let's pretend Belichick and Ryan are on the same flight, with the dumbest and most obvious jokes ever"? Did this just happen?
That column was horrific, my god the Globe must have turned brown when that thing was printed today.
I literally cannot move on with my day. It's THAT bad. If it was printed in a high school newspaper, it would not have looked one iota out of place. Is everyone on this board really just that good at resisting the urge to read his columns? Where is the outrage and ridicule?
I thought it was awful, not really creative at all, and just boring.
So then I thought, who is this appealing to? Pats fans who want to get pumped up? Pats fans looking for a laugh? Jets fans who think there coach is great? I cant think of a group of fans who would really be amused with this.
Considering what Cafardo and CHB consistently pump out, either the Globes editors are completely asleep at the wheel or they just want output not quality from these guys.
So then I thought, who is this appealing to? Pats fans who want to get pumped up? Pats fans looking for a laugh? Jets fans who think there coach is great? I cant think of a group of fans who would really be amused with this.
Considering what Cafardo and CHB consistently pump out, either the Globes editors are completely asleep at the wheel or they just want output not quality from these guys.
Yes.
I accidentally clicked on this one because only the title was in the link. What horrible dreck. I am happy that by avoiding him I am on 99% of days spared this experience.
It was an obvious stab at humor but I feel compelled to say: if you found even a single floating concept from that article even the slightest bit amusing, I fucking hate you.
I think at this point, the number of people on the board who actual live in the Boston area and read the globe are a minority.
I knew it was bogus when Rex Ryan had only booked a single airline seat(Ok, it was way before that).
Hold on a minute!!! The coach flies separate from the team after games? That column read like the very worst of those dumb-ass, Simpson's "Tree House Of Terror" episodes.
A buddy of mine forwarded that POS to me and thought it really happened.
I don't know what's worse, his stupidity or CHB's attempt at creative writing.
What a sad day for a once great newspaper.
I don't know what's worse, his stupidity or CHB's attempt at creative writing.
What a sad day for a once great newspaper.
That was one of the worst things I have ever read in a newspaper.
I am in the camp that thinks Shaughnessy isn't that bad and gets annoyed how people here freak out about him but that was so bad, so awful that I won't be able to begin to defend him again for months.
I am in the camp that thinks Shaughnessy isn't that bad and gets annoyed how people here freak out about him but that was so bad, so awful that I won't be able to begin to defend him again for months.
The problem with Shaughnessy isn't that he's a bad writer, it's that he's a good writer who uses his powers for evil.
More specifically, he produces brain-damaging toxins that latch on to the same chemical receptors as ordinary sports journalism. So the metabolism absorbs his writing and takes it for wholesome sports information, and does not detect the cellular damage that it's causing. After prolonged exposure, the subject becomes confused, paranoid, and delusional, with sticky, cancerous cysts occupying the parts of the brain that would ordinarily be repositories for sports knowledge in a healthy, functioning brain. And recovery rates paint a rather grim picture.
Clicked on this article, got a bad feeling off the title and 1st sentence and bailed immediately. Based on the reactions it was the best move to make. I feel like the guy who gets off a plane before takeoff because "it didn't feel right" and then finds out it crashed into a mountain.
The jokes that end up on Jay Leno's cutting room floor are probably funnier than that. Shockingly bad.
CHB on Comcast Sports Tonight says yesterday was the Jets "2004 Red Sox" moment. He said he is rooting for the Jets to go all the way to "ratchet up the rivalry even more."
Ian Rappoport and Michael Holley looked at him like he is nuts.
Ian Rappoport and Michael Holley looked at him like he is nuts.
That's some pretty transparent shit-stirring. As if he really believes that an underdog outplaying the favorite on a given day in a single elimination tournament is somehow as notable as coming back from 3-0 in a best of seven. Or that the Pats have had the kind of long-term superiority over the Jets that the Yanks had over the Sox for over 80 freakin' years.
If CHB didn't piss people off, he really wouldn't be relevant at all. I stopped clicking on his columns a long time ago, but apparently a lot of people still do.
Not to encourage CHB, but this basically writes itself:
Mark Mangino, born on June 18, just three months and two days away from the birthday of Matt Walsh, has connections to the Pats in a myriad of ways. He was born in Walla Walla, WA, the same time zone as Eric Mangini. His wife shared a flight once with the 1st Mrs. Belichick, though she was in coach (note the irony here) while the ex-Mrs HC was in 1st class, what might have been said while the latter was staring down the aisle and the former was sipping a glass a wine will never be known. Mangino also had a Blockbuster Video membership that overlapped with Belichick for nearly 15 years.
CHB transformed those thoughts to print with his piece this morning. A thinly-veiled attempt to stir shit and pour salt in the wound. Nice try, Shank.
I'm OK with the comparison, as long as it means the Jets and their fans have to wait until Super Bowl 89 for their next championship.
If one checks out today's Globe, page A2, lower right hand corner, one will note a correction regarding Shank's Sunday morning column on the AFCC game. The "reporting error" was Shank's. Any odds on when we'll see him own up to it?
CHB trying to get max mileage out of the Jets loss. Heard him on The Sports Hub this morning talking about the magnitude of the Jets loss growing with each passing day. Talk of it being on the Pantheon of sports losses and how it is a Top 5 Worst Loss in New England Sports History.
It sucked no doubt about that, but its nowhere close to the top 5 and in the category of 86 SB, 03 RedSox, 09/10 Celts game 7. What a clown.
I had the displeasure of listening to this diatribe from him in the car. Made the ridiculous argument that its up there because they're still upset about it, as shown by Kraft's comments. Yes, I would think that the organization would still be upset about a game that happened less than three weeks ago still.
Even tried to make the case that it was a bigger loss than the Bruins blowing their 3-0 lead against Philly. You would think that the guy who made such a living off of horrific Red Sox losses would have the common sense to not even bother making the argument that this a top 5 worst loss in Boston sports history.
It's not going away for me. SB 42, Ben Dreith game, 3 weeks ago. That's the list. Even the Ben Dreith game was "on" Dreith, not the Pats, at least according to every Pats fan that saw the game, including me.I had the displeasure of listening to this diatribe from him in the car. Made the ridiculous argument that its up there because they're still upset about it, as shown by Kraft's comments. Yes, I would think that the organization would still be upset about a game that happened less than three weeks ago still.
Really? CHB said it's in the top five in "NE sports history" (according to shaunrbu's post). I'm not sure it even cracks the top 10. Off the top of my head and not in any particular order: 1946 WS game 7; '48 playoff against the Indians; games 153 and 154 of the '49 season; Aparacio falling down rounding third in the final series of the '72 season; '78 playoff game; '86 WS game 7; '86 WS game 7; '03 ALCS game 7; NBA Finals game 7; Super Bowl 42; the Dreith game; 06-07 AFC Chamipionship Game vs. Indy.
All of those rank much worse than the Jets playoff loss, in my mind. Even with a win the Pats would have faced a massive challenge to get past Pittsburgh. This loss sucked, sure, but the Pats had a better year than anyone expected and are loaded for the future with young talent and a boatload of picks in what is supposed to be a great draft.
Other games that made me cry include game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals in '82 (Celts had come back from a 3 games to 1 deficit for the second straight year, but came out flat in game 7 at the Garden); the game 6's of the '85 and '87 NBA Finals; and the 1999 ALCS.
This was just CHB being the dishonest hack that we all know he is.
I hate the Jets as much as anyone I know. But I can't conceive of putting the Jets debacle ahead of the 2006 AFC Championship game. Given the big lead, the ridiculous offensive PI call on Troy Brown at the end of the first half, the fact that it put Peyton Freaking Manning in position to win his first (and only) Super Bowl and the fact that the Bears were waiting to be slaughtered, that game hurt me much more.
The CHB is beyond ridiculous. Just off the top of my head, I'd put those three Pats games, the Cs game 7 last season, the many Sox near misses ('72, '75, '78, '86 and '03), the loss to the Dryden Canadiens in '71, the Too Many on the Ice game ahead and game 7 against the Flyers before that Jets game. And my frame of reference begins in 1970. I suspect that older fans would have a few more to add to the list that would make the Jets game pale in comparison.
The loss to the Jets isn't even remotely close to being the most painful of the past decade or so.
I cannot fathom how it can be mentioned in the same sentence as the '06 AFCCG or SB 42. They didn't collapse or miss a chance at perfection. They lost a game, the way many playoff games are lost. I'm totally over it at this point, while SB 42 still stings a bit.
I cannot fathom how it can be mentioned in the same sentence as the '06 AFCCG or SB 42. They didn't collapse or miss a chance at perfection. They lost a game, the way many playoff games are lost. I'm totally over it at this point, while SB 42 still stings a bit.
Back in the late '90s the Pats lost a play-off game in Pitt when Mike Vrabel caused Bledsoe to fumble late in the game (Ibelieve it was a low-scoring game). Anyway, I distinctly remember that the next day CHB wrote that the loss was in the same class for Boston fans as the Buckner World Series game. The point is, Shank loves to pour salt into the wounds of Patriots fans. He often describes the Patriots' fanbase as the most sensitive to criticism group of all time. He may be correct, but there are legit reasons for that being the case. Many of the local mediots despise Belichick so much (because he won't "play the game" with them), that the are delighted when NE loses games like the recent Jets one. I have an acquaintance who was a media member in the press box in New Orleans when the Pats won their first SB. This person told me that when Adam's kick sailed through the goal posts to win the game, CHB was visibly disappointed, and bullshit.
Thing is, the Colts were at home for that game and were pretty even with the Pats in the regular season (same record at 12 - 4). Then that story came out that a lot of the Pats were sick and maybe therefore weakened badly in the second half. Peyton Manning >>> Mark Sanchez. Manning had Harrison, Wayne, et al. Brady had flotsam and jetsom at WR. Going in, you could understand the Colts winning that game, but the Pats were supposed to destroy the Jets three weeks ago. I have a really tough time rationalizing that they didn't at least win it.
I agree fully with this. The playoff losses in 2006 and 2007 are the two worst defeats for the Pats that I can remember, for all the reasons people here have mentioned. Chance at perfection and, really, this team had a great shot to win back-to-back SB's (though if they win the SB in 2006, I wonder if they make the roster moves that lead to the 2007 perfecto), which would have made it 5 in 7 years. <sigh>
This one sucked, but is not nearly on that level. In terms of Boston sports, the 2003 ALCS, the 1978 one-game playoff, the 1986 WS (game six in particular), game seven of the '75 world series, and I gotta believe that last year's game 7 Celtics-Lakers is on that list. Up 13, on the road, against the mortal enemy (LA), and you lose. Or how about the '85 or '87 NBA finals against the Lakers? Lots of much worse losses than a surprisingly successful team losing an early round playoff game to a really good team.
Well, except for the fact that "the Pats were supposed to destroy the Jets" part was based not on the matchups (where arguably the only position the Pats had a clear advantage was at QB) but on a December game in which Rex outsmarted himself, putting his team in a hole early and needed Sanchez to play from behind. Until that game, CW was, if anything, that the Jets were a hair better than the Pats.
For me, what's made the outcome of that game stomach-able for me is that the predictions were, in retrospect, clearly skewed by that game -- and the Jets just brought it that day. Oh and the fact that they embarrassed themselves in the first half against Pittsburgh.
I agree with all your points but feel differently for another reason. What makes the Indy loss tougher for me is the Pats were up 21-6 at halftime and if they coulda held on, they would have faced a Rex Grossman led Bears team in the SB...with a chance at winning 4 out of 6. And if the Pats beat NY and made it to the SB this year, I think they'd have little chance at beating Green Bay indoors with a healthy Rodgers. Sure they could win, but I think it would have been a nightmare matchup if it had happened.
Totally agree, between dealing with Matthews [and all the we should have picked him stuff] and watching Rodgers potentially look unstoppable against our defense it could have been a very difficult game matchup-wise and if we lost CHB would have had a field day
Ran out to the bank at lunch today and was listening to 98.5... Gresh made a joke about Shank coining 'Truck Day', and Shaughnessy basically said he termed it that in his book, and has stuck ever since. Is this true? Did CHB turn the phrase 'Truck Day'?
Yeah, he tore a page out of the book of his fellow miserable one, Ron Borges, It was someone else's phrase and he turned into his own.
I thought his piece this am on Trautwein was outstanding and moving. Dan is very good when he tries and does not force his agenda or play the part.