This seems as good a place as any to relate the story of how I stole Johnny Miller's car.
My firm was having a conference in Napa, where Miller lives, and he was the keynote speaker, or some such nonsense (I skipped his presentation and played 18 holes instead, so I have no idea what it was about).
Anyway, I arrived late morning from the east coast, and immediately met some friends for a round, just leaving my bags at the pro shop to check into the resort later. After playing, I checked in, and found out my room was about a half mile away in some kind of casita. So, I talked to my friend who had a rental car parked out front - he said the keys were in it, it was a silver Camry, take it to your room and then bring it back for the reception. All fine.
I found the car, saw an itinerary for our firm in the passenger seat, assumed it was the right car, and drove off. Took my time showering, had a beer, then drove back about two hours later, parked wherever I found a spot, and headed to the reception.
I handed the keys to my buddy, who immediately said those weren't his keys. He had no response to my, "well, then whose fucking car was I driving?", so I decided to just put the keys back in the car and leave it unlocked, albeit 5 spaces or so from where I found it.
As I put the keys back, I took a look at the old school day-planner in the console. Inside it said "Property of J. Miller".
I told our CEO that if Johnny mentioned any shenanigans with regard to his rental car, I'd be happy to explain myself. Apparently he never noticed, and my life continues without a felony theft on my record.
Edit: whose, not who's you dumbass, and other typos