Bill Simmons: Good Luck With Your Life.

[GeorgeCostanza]

But he basically refuses to write anything of substance about the Pats for fear of putting the "Simmons stink" on them. The only actual Patriots analysis I've read from him recently is about Brady and his sisters, and would Gronk or Watt win if they fought.

And it's grammar. Unless you were referencing Fraser

 

[southshoresoxfan]

The Larry David pod is a must listen for any Seinfeld/CYE fans. David is actually a celeb who knows his stuff w sports

 

[GeorgeCostanza]

How the hell did I not know Larry did a podcast? I am ashamed

 

[DegenerateSoxFan]

[quote name="GeorgeCostanza" post="5794543"

And it's grammar. Unless you were referencing Fraser [/quote]

Heh, that's outstanding. Can I blame that oversight on the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company?

 

[Dummy Hoy]

But he basically refuses to write anything of substance about the Pats for fear of putting the "Simmons stink" on them. The only actual Patriots analysis I've read from him recently is about Brady and his sisters, and would Gronk or Watt win if they fought.

And it's grammar. Unless you were referencing Fraser

 
That piece of shit wan't analysis.
 
Edit: speaking of shitty analysis, huh?
 
I could write 1000 words on Simmons, but essentially it boils down to the fact that he once had an fairly unique style and viewpoint (that I loved and emulated). Problem is that was 20 years ago and the only thing that has changed is that he doesn't work as hard at his writing/analysis. Ton of respect for his vision and ability to identify talent which is obvious through his other successful ventures (Grantland, podcasts,30 for 30, etc), but I find him to be an intellectually immature and lazy writer who lacks any real self awareness. I avoid his writing, which kind of sucks. 

 

[GeorgeCostanza]

That piece of shit wan't analysis.
 

That was kinda my point. He has so avoided writing anything of substance about the team because he believes in the mystical powers of "jinx" that the closest he has come to anything remotely considered analysis was about sisters and a fist fight.

I was once a huge Simmons fan because of his "voice" just hit me the right way. Part of me misses it and just wish he would at least try. If I were in his position I'm not sure I'd be doing anything different but George can dream. George is gettin upset!

Edit: and yes it was a steaming pile indeed.

 

[Dummy Hoy]

I think he avoids writing anything of substance because he doesn't have anything of substance to write about them. But I hear you.

 

[Leather]

I think he avoids writing anything of substance because he doesn't have anything of substance to write about them. But I hear you.

 
I thought the whole point of "Grantland" was to give him and others like him a vehicle to post articles of substance.  IIRC, its genesis was ostensibly due to Simmons' frustration at not having the time/support whatever at Page 2 to do the in-depth, long form, stuff that he wanted to do.   Well, he kinda-sorta kept that up for a little while and it fizzled out completely.  Now he's unhappy because he isn't being given support to do the really in depth, long form, stuff that he wants to do?  Now the sandbox that ESPN handed to him, which he has neglected for 2 years, isn't big enough? 
 
I get his frustration with ESPN over the Goodell thing (which, frankly, wasn't even breaking a story so much as shouting an existing story through a megaphone), but at the same time, there has to be hundreds of stories he could do/have done to shine a light on some sports hypocrisy, or injustice, or mismanagement.  He has never shown an inclination to be that kind of writer.  So I'm less convinced that this Goodell flap has to do with Simmons becoming a good investigator/muckraker/"voice of truth" or whatnot in the future, and more a giant case of him being embarrassed and acting out.   Once he gets to a new place, and settles in, he'll go right back to his mailbags and podcasts with Sal and weekly picks and gambling manifestos.  And this is not a Simmons bash; it's just what he is.  A leopard can't change his spots.  

 

[Dummy Hoy]

 
And this is not a Simmons bash; it's just what he is.  A leopard can't change his spots.  

 
I think this is kind of my point too...I'm not mad at Simmons or dislike him and I certainly don't wish him harm or begrudge him a thing. Frankly I'm just bored of him and don't really see the appeal anymore.

 

[ifmanis5]

 
I think this is kind of my point too...I'm not mad at Simmons or dislike him and I certainly don't wish him harm or begrudge him a thing. Frankly I'm just bored of him and don't really see the appeal anymore.

This is where I'm at as well.
 
He couldn't even compose a compelling rip Dan Snyder column which is very low hanging fruit. That was a rambling mess, which is what most of output has been this decade. When he writes about the NBA he has my full attention; the other stuff I either skim or skip.

 

[johnmd20]

This is where I'm at as well.
 
He couldn't even compose a compelling rip Dan Snyder column which is very low hanging fruit. That was a rambling mess, which is what most of output has been this decade. When he writes about the NBA he has my full attention; the other stuff I either skim or skip.

 
Not only was it a rambling mess, but it wasn't even a column. It was a mailbag. He has trouble writing a straight column these days. It's now mailbags and youtube links. 

 

[kenneycb]

No it wasn't.  It linked to the mailbag but it was entirely segregated from it.

 

[johnmd20]

No it wasn't.  It linked to the mailbag but it was entirely segregated from it.

 
There were reader Emails in the Synder column.

 

[kenneycb]

Touche.  I didn't really read it and am used to emails from readers being in bold.  You win this round.

 

[OzSox]

 
I thought the whole point of "Grantland" was to give him and others like him a vehicle to post articles of substance.  IIRC, its genesis was ostensibly due to Simmons' frustration at not having the time/support whatever at Page 2 to do the in-depth, long form, stuff that he wanted to do.   Well, he kinda-sorta kept that up for a little while and it fizzled out completely.  Now he's unhappy because he isn't being given support to do the really in depth, long form, stuff that he wants to do?  Now the sandbox that ESPN handed to him, which he has neglected for 2 years, isn't big enough? 

 
That was always the paradox of Grantland to begin with, though. The site was supposed to offer quality, long-form journalism, which isn't what Simmons himself does.

 

[DegenerateSoxFan]

If the Seahawks make it back to the Superbowl, I'd like to hear his take on Pete Carroll. If I recall correctly, he once referred to Carroll (who has since won a college national title and a Superbowl) as "the reason why Fredo wasn't given control of the Corleone family."

 

[j-man]

I am shocked that SB Nation has almost three times the visitors as Grantland. It's been months since I visited that site.

go to Pais pulpit  say j-man send u  u will be pretty popular pretty quick    

 

[Kliq]

I liked his piece that came on yesterday about Cleveland and the effects of living in a city where all the sports teams do is break your heart. It's full of some weird Simmon's crazy theories, but I expect all that at this point. He also dropped this gem on some local names.
 

 
Local columnist Gerry Callahan derisively nicknamed Boston “Losertown,” with the Prince of Pessimism (still-toxic Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy, who turned Boston’s demons into a cottage industry for himself), WEEI’s sneering Dennis & Callahan morning show and Glenn Ordway’s condescending drive-time show as our dark overlords.
 

 

[941827]

James Andrew Miller on his never-released podcast discussion with Simmons about Simmons's future:
 

It went on for about 15 minutes and focused on Bill's present and future with ESPN. I promised to keep what we discussed private, but I was hoping it would have been released. Turns out, Bill Simmons is quite smart when he's talking about Bill Simmons.
 

 

[Smiling Joe Hesketh]

James Andrew Miller on his never-released podcast discussion with Simmons about Simmons's future:
 

 
Holy hell. It's been a while.  Where the heck have you been man?

 

[m0ckduck]

Is it possible that he could proclaim just one more time his theory about the Steelers being the worst possible playoff matchup for the Pats because 'the one thing they don't do well (defend the deep pass) is cancelled out by the one thing we don't do well (throw the deep ball)'? I think I've heard this 11 different times in 3 different media formats now. 

Edit: and I do mean all 11 times directly from him.

 

[PC Drunken Friar]

Is it possible that he could proclaim just one more time his theory about the Steelers being the worst possible playoff matchup for the Pats because 'the one thing they don't do well (defend the deep pass) is cancelled out by the one thing we don't do well (throw the deep ball)'? I think I've heard this 11 different times in 3 different media formats now. 

Are you really expecting hard hitting analysis from BS?

 

[Silverdude2167]

Are you really expecting hard hitting analysis from BS?

I know I should not expect more but this "analysis" has been very annoying for some reason.

 

[Marciano490]

Man, I just tried to get through his NFL picks column for the first time in a couple years and it's shockingly awful.  How many high school or college papers are running wittier more entertaining content than that slop?

 

[johnmd20]

Man, I just tried to get through his NFL picks column for the first time in a couple years and it's shockingly awful.  How many high school or college papers are running wittier more entertaining content than that slop?

 
I love that he uses two crutches, the mailbag and making his NFL picks, for the column. He can't even use one crutch at a time. Even Tiny Tim only uses one crutch.
 
So he really doesn't need to write anything. With that said, what he wrote is pretty bad. He has not exercised the "writing" muscle in a while and it's showing. It is atrophied.

 

[blueline]

https://twitter.com/BillSimmons/status/553212920402690048
 
Weird comment. Sprawling, to me, screams logistical nightmare and doesn't have everything.

 

[tims4wins]

Yeah Houston is sprawling too and BS loathed it as a Super Bowl venue. But maybe the Olympics are different.

 

[ernieshore]

Simmons not checking his facts again (I say half-jokingly). 
 
L.A. Times: Southern California not so sprawling after all

 

[The Social Chair]

I live in LA and I agree that it's a good choice to host the Olympics. The light rail from DTLA to Santa Monica will be done this year and the LAX light rail extension should be done before 2024. 

 

[GeorgeCostanza]

Didn't they host the 1984 summer Olympics?

 

[GeorgeCostanza]

And Boston is the USOC's nomination. Kinda cool

 

[Silverdude2167]

Over 3300 words on how good Flacco is, how Baltimore could be the "Wonk" team (hate this term) and how Baltimore could knock off the pats. All with little to no actual analysis, also over 650 words talking about LeBron in relation to Flacco and the eye test.
 
This might have been the worst article he has written in a long time. He encompass the worst in Pats fans and puts it on display for the entire country to read.

 

[Shelterdog]

Over 3300 words on how good Flacco is, how Baltimore could be the "Wonk" team (hate this term) and how Baltimore could knock off the pats. All with little to no actual analysis, also over 650 words talking about LeBron in relation to Flacco and the eye test.
 
This might have been the worst article he has written in a long time. He encompass the worst in Pats fans and puts it on display for the entire country to read.

 
 
The goddamn Wonk team concept is stupid even for Simmons.  "Do you know that if, with the benefit of hindsight, you take the record of every team that exceeded expectations in the playoffs that they have a really good record?"

 

[johnmd20]

That wonk team term is so dumb. They are picking the wonk after the playoffs are over. Of course the "wonk" teams never lose.

 

[ifmanis5]

In sum, if the Ravens are a really good team then we are screwed. However, if they're not, then we're good. Brilliant analysis.
I didn't understand his LeBron is skinny point. Media pundits are afraid of looking bad, so this time period is 'weird?' What did that have to do with anything?

 

[Shelterdog]

In sum, if the Ravens are a really good team then we are screwed. However, if they're not, then we're good. Brilliant analysis.
I didn't understand his LeBron is skinny point. Media pundits are afraid of looking bad, so this time period is 'weird?' What did that have to do with anything?

 
I think his point that his personal observation that Flacco is a different guy in the playoffs should be given a lot of credit because his observations about LeBron proved to be at least somewhat correct.  The eye test is "increasingly undervalued."

 

[ifmanis5]

 
I think his point that his personal observation that Flacco is a different guy in the playoffs should be given a lot of credit because his observations about LeBron proved to be at least somewhat correct.  The eye test is "increasingly undervalued."

Thank you for that translation.

 

[Remagellan]

I had enough of his "eye test" after his recent HoF pod with Jacko.  But I guess if the Pats lose tomorrow, Cousin Sal can congratulate Bill on seeing it coming when they do their pod on Monday.   
 
And I must ask, am I the only one who can feel Zach Lowe's exasperation through the computer whenever he's called in to do a pod with Simmons?    

 

[ifmanis5]

And I must ask, am I the only one who can feel Zach Lowe's exasperation through the computer whenever he's called in to do a pod with Simmons?    

Klosterman gives the same sighs/pregnant pauses. Roughly translates to "how can I put this so I still can cash the checks without telling him he's an idiot."

 

[Silverdude2167]

From the Mailbag 
 

 
 
Feels like a 20-17 type of game — one of those games that gets decided by a pass-interference play, a turnover, a special teams return and a long field goal. And what really frightens me is that the Ravens are better built to win a game like that. I want to throw up. 

How do you build a team to win "that type of game". I would normally think the team with the better defense and better offense would be better suited to win a low scoring game, but I mean that is just me. 
 
Of course even though the Ravens are "better built to win that type of game" he picks the Pats to win 20-17

 

[Marciano490]

How many games a year get decided by a pass-interference play and a turnover and a special teams return and a long field goal?
 
You know, one of those games.

So, two of those things happened. And neither mattered.

 

[Leather]

It only "feels" like one of those games because Simmons remembers the last couple of playoff games between these two teams, and that's all Simmons watches anymore.

 

[Shelterdog]

It's just going to be one of those rare playoff games decided by a small number of important plays.

 

[ifmanis5]

This mailbag doesn't pass the eye test. Weird.

 

[Marciano490]

It's just going to be one of those rare playoff games decided by a small number of important plays.

But we won't know whether the plays Simmons feels will be the wonk plays are the wonk plays till after the game's over.

 

[jimbobim]

This mailbag doesn't pass the eye test. Weird.

I was just going to comment about how I'm a pretty big fan of his and his two Ravens tire pumping touting pieces full of shallow Bleacher Report esque analysis were highly disappointing today. Maybe it's some type of reverse jinx.
 
Or more probable is a combination of he has realized Barnwell has surpassed him in football writing and his laziness disease is becoming acutely more advanced.  

 

[tims4wins]

I'm sure it is reverse jinx, which is crazy that at 43 or whatever he still believes in that shit. Jesus.

 

[allstonite]

I still like Simmons probably more than most here. I do usually end up skimming through most of his columns now because I realize they've become repetitive and simple. I just feel his positives outweigh his negatives with 30 for 30, Grantland basketball hour, and his podcasts which I still listen to and enjoy for the most part.
 
But the one today was awful. He's just so insecure about everything. When he gets a pick wrong it's "Oh I realized AJ Green was out and was going to change my pick but didn't" or "I forgot x rule I made up in 2002 that I should have applied so I kind of got it right". Or when talking about a story he always starts with "and nobody else is talking about this but..." and then just spouts something stupid that everyone knows. He's playing the sky is falling about the game this weekend and then had Barnwell on to confirm all his worries because Barnwell hates the Patriots. Then wraps it all up still believing that the Patriots are going to cut Brady as soon as the season is over. Brady could have a Manziel-like game, piss on Kraft's Nikes, and then rip Bill's hoody over his head and still not get cut. I hope his podcasts don't get like his columns where I only care about what he says about basketball but it's getting there. I don't go in expecting top flight analysis but at least come with something better than "I'm feeling". 

 

[wade boggs chicken dinner]

I didn't understand his LeBron is skinny point. Media pundits are afraid of looking bad, so this time period is 'weird?' What did that have to do with anything?

I'd respect Simmons more if he just came out and said that it looks like LBJ stopped using steroids.

 

[LuckyBen]

I'd respect Simmons more if he just came out and said that it looks like LBJ stopped using steroids.

I bet Simmons wouldn't even trash LBJ if espn told him to cool it.