Youth Hockey - catch all

[Dummy Hoy]

My son just turned six (2019) and just got on the NH Avalanche Dev team to start in the fall. His first travel experience in any sport. This thread is terrifying. What the hell have I just signed up for????

You've signed him up for the greatest sport in the world that somehow attracts some of the worst people. You can navigate it if you follow your path and don't try to keep up with everyone else.

A few thoughts:
1. Just let him have fun- only words on the way home should be some variation of "I enjoyed watching you play"
2. Long term athletic development should be the focus. Play other sports, take time off, don't compare your kid, let them have their own pace, especially when they're little.
3. The best 6 year olds aren't always the best 8 years olds 10 year olds 13 year olds etc. Let the psychos push their kids...for every Patrick Kane there's 10,000 kids who hate the game by the time they're 14
4. If you get a good parent group, cherish that- you can make great friends. If the parent group is not so hot, bring headphones and stand far from the action.
5. Volunteer to coach...not only gets you away from those crazy parents, but it gives you great experience and can bring you closer to your kid (unless you're a Marv Marinovich type. In which case, see #3)
6. Get a second job to pay for this shit
7. Buy equipment used. SidelineSwap is amazing if you know what you're looking for
8. Appreciate and enjoy. Especially at the 6 year old level- it's messy, it's sloppy, it's barely hockey, and yet it's hockey at it's most fun.

 

[burstnbloom]

@Dummy Hoy said it better that I would have, but @TheRealness you signed up for something that is about to begin consuming most of your free time, but it's amazing. Watching my son at 6 was the most fun I've had with any of his activities, until he turned 7, and 8, and 9. Can't wait for 10! It gets crazy around tryout times and the FOMO that you're not doing enough for your kid is real. I would add a slightly amended take than the consensus here. Give your kid whatever they can handle, meaning if they are begging you for ice, give it to them. I'm amazed at the experiences these kids get to have with their friends at such a young age with a youth sports team. It's very cool, and the kids that are on the ice more, get more opportunities. So, if the kid can handle it and wants it, it's ok to go a little nuts as long as everyone's perspective is in the right place and it doesn't have negative affects on your relationship. My nephew is about to turn 15 and his team has trips this year to Florida, Dallas, Chicago, Toronto and Michigan and that doesn't even count nationals, if they make it. How cool is that? (Also, the second job advice is real. Maybe donate plasma)

It is a grind and you'll sometimes need to talk to your kid about getting out of bed at 6am to drive to Springfield. It has been the easiest medium for me to teach my son about accountability to his teammates, commitment, and putting in work in service to a long term goal. Those moments feel like where he learns the most.

It's a lot. But even though everyone in this thread complains about the insanity, we are all at the rink 4-5 days a week lol. Also get him out of the E9 and join the fed. That joke will land in a year or two when you run into more insufferable fed fathers.

 

[Lupe Whalewatch]

This is perfect advice.
I coach my son’s 2012 team. If you do get into coaching, pick the parents, not the kids. Especially at that age.
it goes by fast, so cherish every minute. I already miss tying my guy’s skates.

 

[Foxy42]

I’ll share much more detailed thoughts when at a computer, but the biggest thing I’d advise about youth sports is that the kids actions will tell you what they want to do. I’ve never pushed my kid to practice or get out of bed for hockey. He loves it and if anything I need to slow his roll. Meanwhile w soccer for instance, he never practiced on his own and despite being very good, I knew one day he’d say he wanted to quit.

Skills over games and nothing is more important at a young age than skating. Kids all want to play games and have the puck on their stick more in practice, but skating is what it is all about. Also, that wrist shot will elevate eventually…lol, but every parent starts worrying about that way too early.

 

[Dummy Hoy]

Great advice about the shot- my kids were so mad I wouldn't let them 'flip' the puck when they were little but insisted upon good form. Pays off when they're strong enough to really shoot.

 

[Leon Trotsky]

My son just broke a window in the basement last night as now he's lifting the puck tooo much, and was all upset he can't aim it. Practice makes perfect!

Can someone explain the whole greater Boston club hockey thing to me? Is there a very simple answer to that? ha.

 

[Dummy Hoy]

My son just broke a window in the basement last night as now he's lifting the puck tooo much, and was all upset he can't aim it. Practice makes perfect!

Can someone explain the whole greater Boston club hockey thing to me? Is there a very simple answer to that? ha.

No. lol

I've linked to this guy before but I like his blog generally, and even if I don't agree, it's obvious he has good knowledge and background. He did write a bit of an explainer on NE youth hockey that may give some basic info.

 

[TheRealness]

I appreciate the feedback. My general approach with any activity is as long as he likes it he can do it as much as he wants. I’ve coached his soccer teams the last five seasons, and told the coach I could help out if needed. I prefer to just watch him play, and we’ve tried other sports and he prefers soccer and hockey so far. My friends say that’s probably because those are the two sports I always have on in the house. I had him doing learn to skate with his sister (who is less enthused by team sports) since he was three and have had him in learn to play the last year. I don’t really care about where he ends up, but I care that he’s good enough to enjoy it and make friends. That is a 100000000 times more important to me than anything.

On a related note, my wife is going to murder me as she had asked me about tournaments as her cousins kid plays for Woburn and now the Eastern MA Senators and their life is constant hockey. I told her I had no knowledge of that, but found out at my morning skate today that we indeed have tournaments at that age from one of my buddies whose kid will be on my sons team.

 

[Dummy Hoy]

The tournaments can be very fun...it's when you have 4 of them a season that's the kick

 

[santadevil]

We take a similar approach around spring and summer play. My son does one skills session a week much of the summer and one week of camp. Spring and summer leagues tend to be horrible hockey that develop bad habits. Fishing and riding bikes are my sins top summer activities.

As a baseball coach, I'm really loving that I have to cancel games and play with only 9 kids on Sunday due to "Spring" hockey that somehow lasts until the end of June
This shit drives me nuts and with my oldest kid, every single kid that played Spring hockey, quit playing hockey at the 15U level because they were so tired of hockey

Like most of you have said, if the kid enjoys it, then let them do it, but don't feel like you're missing out because the Joneses have Johnny signed up for 3 spring teams, workouts each day and summer camps every week from now until the season starts (BTW, my neighbour is going to burn his kid out so bad in the next couple years. The crash is going to be scary and amazing to watch. He doesn't listen to reason, or common sense)

 

[burstnbloom]

Spring/Summer clubs are fun but I don't really think it does a lot for the kids anyway until they are at the WSI/Mini Chowder/Kings of Spring level kid/age. You're better off doing a couple of skills skates and playing in the driveway working on their hands.

 

[Foxy42]

I wonder if the ‘spring hockey’ is parity. I hate the parity process but can say that the kids definitely have pressure to be there as it determines team placement for the upcoming season. If it’s a spring tourney or league, that’s a whole diff story.

 

[burstnbloom]

We finished up Fed Parity yesterday and it went really well. On to UG after taking the G title last season. We lost our 2 best players to the platinum team, which is to be expected, and I was nervous but they pulled it out.

His alt team (we didn't play) went 1-2 in E9 parity and it is the least transparent thing ever. There were 3 divisions for 2015 but they played teams from all divisions? I don't get it. Is there an easy way to know how it will slot going forward or no?

 

[locknload]

2 and 2 in "E9" parity this weekend. Team is still gelling with lots of new members, probably should have taken the first two but what can you do. Hopefully thats enough to get into the next round at the end of the month.

Lots of good advice at the top. I really work on #1 but man is it hard, I try to keep everything positive for that car ride home. As for summer/spring hockey we have been playing with a tournament team last two years that do 4ish summer tournaments and they have all been a blast. Got to go visit some family in Chicago a couple of weekends ago and play in the big CCM tournament up there. We did the border battle last year in Hudson and got to meet a bunch of families from Canada that drove down. We do spring baseball and district summer so I keep giving him the option to take a break but the kid just wants to be on the ice so our summer/spring is busier than the winter. Spring team with his town buddies, tournament team for 4ish, parity, and usually a couple of camps. Frankly its satisfying but basically all consuming which is why #4 is critical. Moreso at the club level you are going to be spending ALOT of time with your parent group. I couldn't do the 8 or so tournaments we do every year if it wasn't for the fact that we have a great group that likes being together. Same goes for the kids - the reason why he wants to play so much is all his best friends are his teammates.

Edit - I'll note we are an extreme case. It doesn't and won't in most cases be that intense. My youngest is a hockey nut. It's all he wants to do. If he's not on the ice he's going nuts. My oldest had a more typical path. Just played town hockey maybe a skills session or two in summer.

 

[Dummy Hoy]

3-0 in the top division of parity, kids did what they needed to do, although I've seen them play better. For the 2013s I know there's the top 5 teams from our e9 last season plus 3 auto bid programs that haven't played yet. Not sure how many teams they 'bring up' from week 1, but I'd guess maybe 4, then you have two six team divisions, top 4 in each make e9?

Edit - I'll note we are an extreme case. It doesn't and won't in most cases be that intense. My youngest is a hockey nut. It's all he wants to do. If he's not on the ice he's going nuts. My oldest had a more typical path. Just played town hockey maybe a skills session or two in summer.

It's tough...my son is very reasonable and loves soccer, so he actually enjoys taking time off and gets annoyed at Parity interfering with soccer. My daughter fights about doing anything but hockey- that's all she wants to do 24/7/365. We make her do other things at her age, but I've bent for her in a few small ways (joined a summer tournament team, signed her up for a skills camp, etc).

 

[tonyandpals]

Just waiting on our schedule for our first parity games for the E9. We're an auto bid so I have no idea how that's going to shake out, other than the fact that everyone else has been playing the last two weekends and we've been on the baseball field.