Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

Corsi

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mandro ramtinez said:
As a person who is paid to write what are supposed to be interesting columns, how could PK possibly think that banal story about the women's question was worthy of being printed? 
 
It's worthy of being printed if it's a vehicle for him to educate his readers on the originals of the NFL Scouting Combine.  But PK is just concerned with being the smartest guy in any room he's in, so instead he's just going to make fun of a complete stranger.
 

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mandro ramtinez said:
As a person who is paid to write what are supposed to be interesting columns, how could PK possibly think that banal story about the women's question was worthy of being printed? 
 
Privilege is a hell of a drug. 
 

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"This craft beer was good. Also, this craft beer was good but had different tastes! I also liked this other one. Turns out, beers taste good!"
 

Corsi

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dirtynine said:
"This craft beer was good. Also, this craft beer was good but had different tastes! I also liked this other one. Turns out, beers taste good!"
 
The funny thing is, the first beer he "reviewed," Osiris Pale Ale, is a citrus-forward pale ale, but King doesn't even pick up on it.
 
Not many IPAs give off a citrus scent
 
Except for literally the other beer you just drank.
 

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Corsi said:
 
The funny thing is, the first beer he "reviewed," Osiris Pale Ale, is a citrus-forward pale ale, but King doesn't even pick up on it.
 
Not many IPAs give off a citrus scent
 
Except for literally the other beer you just drank.
 
Not to defend Pete King, but Osiris Pale Ale isn't an IPA. 
 

Corsi

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TheShynessClinic said:
 
Not to defend Pete King, but Osiris Pale Ale isn't an IPA. 
 
That's true.  Perhaps I'm just blurring the lines between and IPA and APA to make my point, but it's still odd he thought it was strange for an IPA to have a citrus nose.  
 

Corsi

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I AM AWARE OF THE GOOD AND THE BAD OF JOE PATERNO, YES. You took a picture of yourself outside the Paterno library and posted it on Twitter? You should be ashamed of yourself. I suggest you wake up and read the Freeh Report some time, then re-read it if you still don’t get it.
 
—Adam
 
Thanks, Adam. I am not willing to consign a man like Joe Paterno to a legacy of total disgrace because he didn’t do the right thing on Jerry Sandusky.
 
 

The guy won football games!  Who cares if he allowed some innocent children to get raped by his defensive coordinator?
 

Corsi

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ON THE LIONS AND TAYLOR LEWAN. Okay, I’ll bite: Why an offensive tackle to the Lions instead of a wide receiver/cornerback/safety? Heck, even a linebacker makes more sense.
 
—Laura Brevitz
 
Putting Taylor Lewan 10th was more a fit for a player who I think will go in the top 10 than a player fitting a team right now. In a fruitless exercise like that one, it’s more important to me to get the right players in the slot than to match perfectly team to player, particularly 2.5 months before the draft.
 
 
This...makes no sense. 
 

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So, basically, what he's actually doing is ranking the top 10 players best to worst? Why not just say that?
 
And what a classic use of the royal "We" from PK (must be taking notes from Cafardo): 
 
 I think the difference between this year and many recent ones is that we know which players to place at the top of the draft, but we have no idea whom to match where.
 
 
What? In recent drafts we knew who was at the top AND where they were going? But this year we don't? Who the fuck is "we"?
 

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I put him at number ten because he's a top ten player. Duh.
 

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Trlicek's Whip said:
 
Privilege is a hell of a drug. 
 
Yep, that's my take too. What I see in that combine anecdote is that he's so ensconced in his own little world that he can't even imagine that there are people who don't know what the combine is or, *gasp* don't fucking care.
 
No wonder he has such an inflated sense of self-importance; his echo chamber must be the size of a broom closet.
 

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If empowering a subordinate to rape children isn't enough to consign a man to a lifetime of disgrace, what is?

(Insert spy gate joke here)
 

Corsi

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pappymojo said:
If empowering a subordinate to rape children isn't enough to consign a man to a lifetime of disgrace, what is?
 
Getting assigned the middle seat by your travel agent.
 

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pappymojo said:
If empowering a subordinate to rape children isn't enough to consign a man to a lifetime of disgrace, what is?

(Insert spy gate joke here)
 
Making King's Mochalardachinolattecoffee wrong or not knowing or caring what the combine is.
 

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Dogman2 said:
 
Making King's Mochalardachinolattecoffee wrong or not knowing or caring what the combine is.
Or asking for a blanket in coach.

Or cheering at a graduation.
 

Corsi

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But that’s not the best I’ve seen Taylor. That happened in a replacement game in 1987. The players were on strike, and the league fielded bush-leaguers so the owners wouldn’t have to refund TV fees. With the Giants 0-4, Taylor crossed the picket line and tried to beat the Bills by himself, playing both ways, linebacker and tight end. Buffalo lined up a truck driver from Illinois, Joe Schulte, to block Taylor. Schulte was called for seven penalties on Taylor. In the second half, with the refs not watching, LT drove his fist into Schulte’s throat. “How do you like that, sucker!” Taylor snarled at him. The Giants lost, but owner Wellington Mara thought it was Taylor’s best game as a pro.
 
 
LT's best game?  That time he sucker punched that helpless guy trying to live out his dream in the throat.
 

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The idea that the best game Taylor ever played was against replacements is stupid enough... and then it gets all fucked up?

Weird.
 

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I'm ready to hate on King as quickly as the next guy, but that story is fucking awesome.  It's a great "fishing story" and whether or not Mara's assertion is ridiculous is beside the point.
 

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I'd say the game where LT stayed up all Saturday night doing blow and banging whores then kicked the ass of professional NFL football players the next morning makes for a better story. Oh wait, that was his whole career. Shut up King, even your White Whale stories suck.
 

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CoffeeNerdness said:
I'm ready to hate on King as quickly as the next guy, but that story is fucking awesome.  It's a great "fishing story" and whether or not Mara's assertion is ridiculous is beside the point.
 
No it's not.
 
Taylor is being celebrated for:
  • Crossing a picket line
  • Playing against journeymen
  • Committing an egregious personal foul
  • Taunting his opponent in the wake of the foul
The only thing that story does is confirm that Lawrence Taylor is one of the bigger assholes ever to play in the NFL.  And for the life of me I cannot understand what it is about Lawrence Taylor that causes other men to look at his consistent record of antisocial-bordering-on-sociopathic behavior and feel a sense of admiration rather than repulsion.
 
I can't think of a better example of Peter King's moral nihilism than to re-read that paragraph slowly and take in the implications of every point.
 

pappymojo

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But that's not the best I've seen Taylor....

....but owner Wellington Mara thought it was Taylor's best game as a pro.

Is he just repeating someone else's statement as his own? Does he not understand that the owner of the team probably cares about a star player violating the strike more than anything else?
 

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Average Reds said:
 
The only thing that story does is confirm that Lawrence Taylor is one of the bigger assholes ever to play in the NFL.
 
I get what you're saying and calling it "fucking awesome" was hyperbolic, but I do find it to be an interesting anecdote because it adds a chapter to the sometimes larger-than-life and often troubling persona of LT.  I'm certainly not going to invite the guy over for Sunday dinner.
 

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CoffeeNerdness said:
 
I get what you're saying and calling "fucking awesome" was hyperbolic, but I do find it to be an interesting anecdote because it adds a chapter to the sometimes larger-than-life and often troubling persona of LT.  I'm certainly not going to invite the guy over for Sunday dinner.
 
Even granting the hyperbole, what makes it at all awesome though? That he sucker punched a guy over penalties?
 

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....but owner Wellington Mara thought it was Taylor's best game as a pro.
 
 
Of course Mara is going to choose this game as Taylor's best, he sided with the owners against his own union when he crossed the picket line.
 
This is just another weird example of baseball vs. football. Back in 95, the MLBPA said that any player who crossed union lines and played in those farcical spring training games would never be a member of the union and never be apart of any subsequent benefits. As a result, Kevin Millar's face is missing from a bunch of 2004 World Series crap (which he never got paid for) and there was a lot of resentment that the "replacement players" had to battle through. I don't think (and I may be wrong about this) any of that crap happened to guys like LT during the NFL player strike. And in fact, now the game that LT played is being lauded as "one of his best".
 
Football owners have these guys (and I'm talking players, media and other sycophants) right under their fat thumbs.
 

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John Marzano Olympic Hero said:
 
Of course Mara is going to choose this game as Taylor's best, he sided with the owners against his own union when he crossed the picket line.
 
This is just another weird example of baseball vs. football. Back in 95, the MLBPA said that any player who crossed union lines and played in those farcical spring training games would never be a member of the union and never be apart of any subsequent benefits. As a result, Kevin Millar's face is missing from a bunch of 2004 World Series crap (which he never got paid for) and there was a lot of resentment that the "replacement players" had to battle through. I don't think (and I may be wrong about this) any of that crap happened to guys like LT during the NFL player strike. And in fact, now the game that LT played is being lauded as "one of his best".
 
Football owners have these guys (and I'm talking players, media and other sycophants) right under their fat thumbs.
 
Add to that the fact that guys like Millar were nobodies - any serious MLB prospect made damn sure not to cross the line.  Taylor was an NFL superstar.
 

Corsi

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PK just seems to love the story for some reason.  Rick Schulte, Joe Schulte, who gives a shit!
 
November 16, 1992
 

Some guy named Rick Schulte was playing offensive line for Buffalo. He brawled with Taylor six times during the game. Officials flagged the Bills seven times for holding Taylor. Funny thing was, LT loved it, and he played this ridiculous game as if it were the most important game of his life. That's because he played every game like that. "I've never seen an effort like it in all my years of football," says the Giants' director of player personnel, Tom Boisture, remembering that day.
 
Once, as he slowly got up from atop Taylor after a play, Schulte ground his knee between the bars of Taylor's face mask, almost breaking LT's nose. "But I got him back good for that," Taylor said afterward. "Later in the game, I tore in, ran over him, took my fist and drove it right into his throat. Then I rubbed it in. I said, 'How do you like that, sucker?' That was fun."
 
 
July 20, 2011
 


The Bills assigned a truck driver from Illinois, Joe Schulte, to waylay Taylor. He got called for holding Taylor seven times. SEVEN. Taylor, in the third quarter, tired of the abuse and out of the officials' sights, drove his fist into Schulte's throat and screamed, "How do you like that, sucker!'' The Giants had a pathetic strike team and lost the game 6-3.
 

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OK, this is all kinds of awesome. I'd say you guys aren't going to believe this, but at this point, that's obviously not true.
 
Peter King sorta botched the story here, and he even got Schulte's first name wrong. The reason I know this is that he, himself, wrote the fucking story back in '92:
On Oct. 18, 1987, a Sunday when most NFL players were on strike, Lawrence Taylor played what I consider to be the best game of his career. It was a raw, miserable day in Buffalo, and he was battling with firemen and construction workers and security guards masquerading as NFL players. His stats that day were Taylor-esque—seven tackles, six pressures, two sacks and one forced fumble. The Giants lost 6-3 to the Bills. But what made this effort special was that Taylor played his guts out with all these hacks around him, trying single-handedly to win a game.
 
Taylor was like the good guy in a professional wrestling match who's getting beaten up while the referee looks the other way. He was mugged by a double team on every one of his 80 plays. Some guy named Rick Schulte was playing offensive line for Buffalo. He brawled with Taylor six times during the game. Officials flagged the Bills seven times for holding Taylor. Funny thing was, LT loved it, and he played this ridiculous game as if it were the most important game of his life. That's because he played every game like that. "I've never seen an effort like it in all my years of football," says the Giants' director of player personnel, Tom Boisture, remembering that day.
 
Once, as he slowly got up from atop Taylor after a play, Schulte ground his knee between the bars of Taylor's face mask, almost breaking LT's nose. "But I got him back good for that," Taylor said afterward. "Later in the game, I tore in, ran over him, took my fist and drove it right into his throat. Then I rubbed it in. I said, 'How do you like that, sucker?' That was fun."
 
 

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mascho said:
I love you guys.
 
Right back at ya'.  :wub:
 
And it gets better--I just verified that Schulte only had three of the holding calls by way of the NYTimes write up from the game: 
Taylor, normally an outside linebacker, often lined up in the middle. The Bills were so concerned with blocking him that he drew four holding penalties from Will Grant and three from Rick Schulte. Still, Taylor sacked Brian McClure twice and hit him hard many other times.
 
So King is distorting the story over time because Mara told it to him, even though he also told it and he's basically just playing some kind of fucked up game of telephone with himself--looking at the 1992 piece, you can see that he was already a burgeoning Tory, but at least he clearly did some actual work. Reattributing the penalties and getting the name wrong is shit you do after you retire and are just telling old war stories to the new guys. The fact that he wrote the fucking story in the first place... the mind reels.
 
 
Also, this part struck me as interesting:
Because Taylor, Jeff Rutledge and Adrian White reported last Wednesday, the day before the strike ended, they were the only regulars eligible to play today.
 
 
So basically, after toeing the line for the first four games and ostensibly sharing in whatever benefits were bargained for through the strike, once they knew the strike is going to be called off Taylor and a couple other assholes reported the day before the strike ended to try to give their team an edge against a bunch of regular Joes? Fuck this guy. Great football player, but seriously, fuck him.
 
AverageReds and JMOH are spot on: this is a great player performance for owners and their Royal Court fops like King.
 

Corsi

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I think King just uses this story as a vehicle to brag about seeing LT play a game that not many others got to see.  Attendance fell off a cliff during the strike in 1987, and according to Wikipedia, less than 16K people were in the stands that day in Buffalo.  Television ratings also dropped by more than 20% by Week 3 (and probably further as the strike went on), according to the NY Times.
 
So, in short, Peter King gets to brag that he saw something you didn't.
 

Corsi

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https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/438683774566825985
 
https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/438684868630024192
 

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I've said it before, but King thinks that condoning such cliche expressions of "toughness" and being a "bad ass" makes him a Real Man (TM).
 
That Peter King himself would have gotten his ass kicked by those truck drivers and security guards is of no matter, of course.  What matters is that he knows one of the gladiators, so he's cool, too, by association.
 
I'd bet $100 that King is the type of guy that says he's pro gay marriage to anybody who asks, and then turns around and tells everyone in his little NFL clique that he's so glad that his own daughters aren't "lesbos", because he "looks forward to having grandkids, someday, you know?"
 

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Corsi said:
https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/438683774566825985
 
https://twitter.com/SI_PeterKing/status/438684868630024192
 
 
He's shown many times that he has a double standard vis a vis hyperbole.  Call him on his and you "have no life".  But if anyone else uses it, well, they are proles.
 

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CoffeeNerdness said:
 
I get what you're saying and calling it "fucking awesome" was hyperbolic, but I do find it to be an interesting anecdote because it adds a chapter to the sometimes larger-than-life and often troubling persona of LT.  I'm certainly not going to invite the guy over for Sunday dinner.
 
Among other things, he's a man with a history of violence towards just about anyone he comes into contact with and especially towards the women in his life.  (Including the statutory rape of a 16 year old prostitute.)  To characterize this as an "often troubling persona" is like saying that Charles Manson "had some issues fitting into society."
 
There is nothing larger-than-life about crossing a picket line to play against/sucker punch/taunt the scabs on the other side of the field.  It's pathetic.  Of course, it's not nearly as pathetic as those (like King) who glorify and even fetishize Taylor's propensity for violence on the field while ignoring the fact that it is perfectly consistent with his anti-social behavior off it.
 

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Aside from everything else, why would it be the least bit surprising or interesting that he had the best game of his career against the worst competition he ever faced.  Isn't that exactly what you'd expect?
 
Will my family someday wistfully look back at how badly I whooped my 5-year old's ass in basketball when we'd play?  "You should have seen him that day, he was like a man possessed.  Blocked shot after blocked shot.  Rebounds upon rebounds.  I've never seen him perform better than he did that day against that small child."
 

pappymojo

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Piling on, but the number of holding calls that day might represent a bias for star players (since he was the only non-scrub on the field).
 

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pappymojo said:
Piling on, but the number of holding calls that day might represent a bias for star players (since he was the only non-scrub on the field).
 
Actually, two other Giants came back for that game too. I dunno about the Bills. But there were 26 penalties overall so your basic point stands--scrub players, sloppy game.
 

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Hendu for Kutch said:
Aside from everything else, why would it be the least bit surprising or interesting that he had the best game of his career against the worst competition he ever faced.  Isn't that exactly what you'd expect?
 
Will my family someday wistfully look back at how badly I whooped my 5-year old's ass in basketball when we'd play?  "You should have seen him that day, he was like a man possessed.  Blocked shot after blocked shot.  Rebounds upon rebounds.  I've never seen him perform better than he did that day against that small child."
 
"And after his son resorted to grabbing his waist in a futile attempt to slow him down, he picked up his son and slapped him across the face and said 'how do YOU like it?'
 
What a father."
 

Corsi

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Not a travel note, really, but a slice-of-non-green-life note from New York City:
 
I observed The Seven-Towel Man on Saturday at my gym in Manhattan, while on parallel schedules with the man. Three towels for the steam room—one to wrap around his waist, one as a cape around his shoulder, one to hold in his hands to wipe his brow. After a short steam, he deposited the three towels in the hamper. He took two for the shower—one to dry himself and one as a mat for the floor when he left the shower. He dropped those in the hamper. The Seven-Towel-Man then took two for post-showering, and I did not see what he did with those.
 
One man, 25 minutes, seven towels. Life is plush.
 
 
I'm all for being green, but when you pay $1000/month for the Manhattan health club, use as many damn towels as you please.  
 
And does anyone else find it mildly creepy that King is following this dude around the gym and counting how many towels he's used? 
 

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jacklamabe65 said:
I suggest that King write everything in the third person from now on, except that he'd probably sound like Wade Boggs.
 I see him more as:
 
 

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Corsi said:
I'm all for being green, but when you pay $1000/month for the Manhattan health club, use as many damn towels as you please.  

 
And does anyone else find it mildly creepy that King is following this dude around the gym and counting how many towels he's used? 
Where does Pete live again, I forgot. It's been a whole 2 paragraphs since he's mentioned it.
 
In fairness, King does re-use those mini shampoo bottles so he's practically Ed Begley Jr.