Why Do I Continue to Read Peter King?

jimbobim

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MyDaughterLovesTomGordon

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What a sniveling, equivocating bullshit artist he is. There's only one word. Okay, maybe two. There's only one automatic. Unless he's not. I thought it was preposterous, but now it makes sense. Three questions for Brent. I mean four! And, gosh, I didn't mean that Tomlin had lost the locker room. NO WAY! What absolute doggerel.
 

E5 Yaz

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The Brady interview is pretty good, but this wasn't

b. All I know about the Terrell Owens Hall of Fame story is this: Lots of anti-Owens people have been in hiding for the past nine days.

c. It’s amazing to me that those who think Owens doesn’t belong in the Hall of Fame are all hiding under rocks this morning.
 

Icculus

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He went skiing Sunday on a pristine trail with fresh powder. (He asked that I not name the exact location for privacy's sake.)
This line stood out to me because the Yellowstone Club is a fairly exclusive gated community with its own ski mountain. You've got to own or be with an owner to ski there. So either Brady's worried about Justin Timberlake and Matt Damon poaching his lines, or it was a joke that went right over PK's head. I'm going with the latter.
 

Zososoxfan

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The Brady interview is pretty good, but this wasn't

b. All I know about the Terrell Owens Hall of Fame story is this: Lots of anti-Owens people have been in hiding for the past nine days.

c. It’s amazing to me that those who think Owens doesn’t belong in the Hall of Fame are all hiding under rocks this morning.
The format aside (I never read PK, but the amount of sections at the end of the article and their odd numbering made me think I was refreshing a bottomless list), what don't you like about it? I thought his critique of TO haters was pretty sound.
 

E5 Yaz

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The format aside (I never read PK, but the amount of sections at the end of the article and their odd numbering made me think I was refreshing a bottomless list), what don't you like about it? I thought his critique of TO haters was pretty sound.
I just found it funny that b and c said the same thing
 

coremiller

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k. Coffeenerdness: The Starbucks smoked butterscotch latte is a very good drink when made consistently. Unfortunately, that happens about half the time.
Is this supposed to be a joke? Doesn't he really mean that it's a good drink when it's made well? Consistency refers not to absolute quality but to the level of variation -- it could be consistently bad. If the quality varies half the time, it is by definition not consistent. But if it's a good drink half the time, King has it backward -- it's a good drink when made inconsistently. Is he referencing sex panther from Anchorman without getting the joke, since the joke there was that the speaker was a clueless idiot? He's been a professional writer for 30+ years, so you'd think he would know what, like, words mean and stuff. It's not like "consistent" is some highly technical jargon or an incredibly obscure usage.

Also "smoked butterscotch latte" sounds disgusting, but that's a whole separate issue.
 

Byrdbrain

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Is this supposed to be a joke? Doesn't he really mean that it's a good drink when it's made well? Consistency refers not to absolute quality but to the level of variation -- it could be consistently bad. If the quality varies half the time, it is by definition not consistent. But if it's a good drink half the time, King has it backward -- it's a good drink when made inconsistently. Is he referencing sex panther from Anchorman without getting the joke, since the joke there was that the speaker was a clueless idiot? He's been a professional writer for 30+ years, so you'd think he would know what, like, words mean and stuff. It's not like "consistent" is some highly technical jargon or an incredibly obscure usage.

Also "smoked butterscotch latte" sounds disgusting, but that's a whole separate issue.
That has to be a joke doesn't it? I mean I don't think PK is any kind of genius but even he has to know that what he wrote makes no sense.

Doesn't he?
Nevermind don't answer that.
 

JohntheBaptist

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Maybe he just means when it's made the way it's "supposed" to be made--Starbucks being a chain and all, they should have a reliably repeatable menu or whatever. You're both right, but maybe that's what he meant?

His command and understanding of the language is pretty stunning. Not everyone has to be Ring Lardner or whatever but if nothing else you'd think wrinkles like that would get ironed out from doing it so much. Nope. He's one of those "[Sigh] Oh come on you know what I meant." types.
 

Ralphwiggum

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This line stood out to me because the Yellowstone Club is a fairly exclusive gated community with its own ski mountain. You've got to own or be with an owner to ski there. So either Brady's worried about Justin Timberlake and Matt Damon poaching his lines, or it was a joke that went right over PK's head. I'm going with the latter.
Maybe Brady just didn't want to make a big deal about the super-exclusive place where he took his family post-Super Bowl. You can see how Peter King would want to drop the name of the place in his article, because he's Peter King. You could also see how Brady wouldn't want him to for reasons that have nothing to do with privacy necessarily.

Edit: Or by "privacy" Brady meant "it's nobody's business where I am with my family" not "I'm worried about people seeking me out and ruining my vacation."
 

joe dokes

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Maybe Brady just didn't want to make a big deal about the super-exclusive place where he took his family post-Super Bowl. You can see how Peter King would want to drop the name of the place in his article, because he's Peter King. You could also see how Brady wouldn't want him to for reasons that have nothing to do with privacy necessarily.

Edit: Or by "privacy" Brady meant "it's nobody's business where I am with my family" not "I'm worried about people seeking me out and ruining my vacation."

I suppose its unlikely that the Bradys were staying at the very fancy Mountain Sky Guest Ranch in Paradise Valley.

http://mountainsky.com/AboutUs/Introduction.aspx
We are a proud member of the Blank Family of Businesses. While diverse in nature, all of Arthur Blank's businesses are run based on a common set core of values, which focus on developing customer relationships, treating people with respect, and supporting communities.
(I've driven by it, on the way to a trailhead further down Big Creek Road.....)
 

drleather2001

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Maybe Brady just didn't want to make a big deal about the super-exclusive place where he took his family post-Super Bowl. You can see how Peter King would want to drop the name of the place in his article, because he's Peter King. You could also see how Brady wouldn't want him to for reasons that have nothing to do with privacy necessarily.

Edit: Or by "privacy" Brady meant "it's nobody's business where I am with my family" not "I'm worried about people seeking me out and ruining my vacation."
I just think Brady is mostly a quiet, private, guy and makes it a point to ask that interviewers not reveal where he is so he and his family have the best shot at "normal" family time. And, frankly, he's probably more concerned about people bugging his kids than asking him for photo ops.
 
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Icculus

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I wasn't trying to turn this into Where's Tom?! I just got a kick out of the fact that what he (PK) wrote is roughly the equivalent of describing a view of central park, then saying "I won't name the city."
 

E5 Yaz

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• The fate of Romo. I’ve talked to people in Houston and Denver, and who knows what happens if Jerry Jones holds Romo hostage for the next month or so. But as of now, there is a line in the sand in both franchises: The Broncos and Texans will not trade anything for him. It’s still more likely that needy Houston makes a move on Romo. Denver GM John Elway is doing his best to make everyone think he’s got little or no interest, but I want to see what Elway does (and it may be nothing) if/when Romo is on the street.
1. I think the NFL is so ridiculously overcovered that, while I was sitting down to begin this column Saturday night, there was a story online headlined: “SOURCES: Cowboys not expected to trade Romo.” A similar story in life would be: “SOURCES: Men not the same as women.” Lord, can we please stop the nonsense? When there’s news, report it. When there isn’t, let it be.
Moral of the story: The media ... except for me ... makes too much of the Romo saga

http://mmqb.si.com/mmqb/2017/03/13/nfl-free-agency-patriots-browns-49ers-peter-king
 

E5 Yaz

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e. Thanks, Me TV, for the “Hogan’s Heroes” and “Perry Mason” reruns. I miss those shows. “Perry Mason” is responsible for my obsession at a young age with Los Angeles. And "Hogan's Heroes" inspired me to visit Dachau.
 
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allstonite

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He is the embodiment of Ugly American. If he did a travel blog I would read it. It would be great as satire.
 

E5 Yaz

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The quintessential PK moment is his declaration about how Hamilton Burger is an amazingly clever character name. There are six-month-old fetuses who think puns like that are lame
 

Van Everyman

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Are we sure it isn't "It's an Arian Nation"? I mean, it's entirely possible that line was conceived on his pilgrimage to Dachau.
 

Byrdbrain

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I'm trying to think of an absurd analogy to compare that too but there is nothing more absurd than what he actually wrote.
I mean it makes "Hawaii 5-0" inspired me to see the Arizona memorial look completely rational.
 

B H Kim

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I guess the damning thing is that people think that he actually could have written that Dachau line (although it isn't in his column).
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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I'm trying to think of an absurd analogy to compare that too but there is nothing more absurd than what he actually wrote.
I mean it makes "Hawaii 5-0" inspired me to see the Arizona memorial look completely rational.
And "Mr. Belvedere" inspired me to visit England.
And "Diff'rent Strokes" inspired me to visit New York City.
 

Byrdbrain

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I think you would need to change NYC to the 9/11 memorial and London to somewhere a fuckton of people died and then you would have something that still isn't as dumb as what he wrote.

Edit: Well played.
 
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Dotrat

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As a man close to Peter King's age, and one who happily and obsessively watched Hogan's Heroes reruns on Channel 38 throughout my youth, I also knew damn well that the show flirted with trivializing the horrific evils of the Nazis when I was 11 fucking years old. I mean, Jesus H Christ!
 

drleather2001

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"'Make Room For Daddy' convinced me to unquestioningly love Roger Goodell despite his many obvious flaws."
 

Harry Hooper

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