Watching the Jones: Dazed & Confused

AbbyNoho

broke her neck in costa rica
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Jan 20, 2006
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Oh, so we're putting the pills talk in the general injury report megathread for the season because you damn people love your megathreads and hate when people can find discussions easily, huh?

Also, any police officers revealing someone's medical information to the press should be fired.
 

Hendu for Kutch

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I can't tell who's being serious and who isn't in this thread. I'm fairly certain there's a mix of both, which makes it confusing as hell to follow. The mocking posts and serious posts read almost exactly the same.
 

86spike

Currently enjoying "Arli$$"
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Apr 17, 2002
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Another theory:

Shirtless and "all jammed up" could imply some late night recreational buttplay resulted in losing something up his b-hole.

Maybe he told everyone it was an OD because that's less embarrassing.

BB knows the truth and hit his eye on his desk in a fit of laughter.
 

LuckyBen

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Jun 5, 2012
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D and C have edited their report again to say he came from Kevin Faulk's house.
Well then we're talking about the purple stuff. I don't understand why people would smoke synthetic weed.

Fuck Jones, were winning the super bowl with or without him.
 

Jed Zeppelin

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Aug 23, 2008
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They need to be honest, frankly. Full transparency is not their style I realize. But there is no real way to spin this or just hope it goes away. It won't. Just tell the truth good or bad, take their medicine and move on. Otherwise this will become a massive distraction. Exactly everything BB dedicates his life to avoiding.
If it won't go away then who cares what they say? A massive distraction for whom? You? Again, who cares?

They won a damn Super Bowl in which the announcers were openly talking about deflated balls.
 

Stitch01

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Jul 15, 2005
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I don't give a shit as long as it does not happen again. Unless it was a PED -- and it was not -- there is not a goddamn thing Goodell can do for the next 3 games.

And if Jones got fucked up with synthetic weed, you won't have him to worry about next year. He will be someone else's problem.
We get rid of everyone on this roster that does recreational drugs and the team won't be recognizable next year
 

cornwalls@6

Less observant than others
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Apr 23, 2010
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Most of the national news outlets seem to giving it only perfunctory, just the facts type covetag(PFT being an exception). I wonder if their caution is rooted in Hippa laws, and their potential exposure if they violate them. Along those lines, how much of a risk are dip-shits like Merloni and that little tool D & C producer taking with their tweets?
 

Stitch01

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Could get an all time laugh out loud moment at tomorrow's press conference if someone tries to present anything resembling BB black eye fan fiction in a press conference.
 

Harry Hooper

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Most of the national news outlets seem to giving it only perfunctory, just the facts type covetag(PFT being an exception). I wonder if their caution is rooted in Hippa laws, and their potential exposure if they violate them. Along those lines, how much of a risk are dip-shits like Merloni and that little tool D & C producer taking with their tweets?
HIPAA {not HIPPA} regulations apply to those parties who are custodians of the private information, such as healthcare providers or EMTs. Lou Merloni or other random mediots are beyond the reach of HIPAA.

Town police blotters I have seen in newspapers typically will name individuals that were arrested, but will not name others and just write something like "ambulance transport arranged for adult male."
 
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Hoodie Sleeves

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Most of the national news outlets seem to giving it only perfunctory, just the facts type covetag(PFT being an exception). I wonder if their caution is rooted in Hippa laws, and their potential exposure if they violate them. Along those lines, how much of a risk are dip-shits like Merloni and that little tool D & C producer taking with their tweets?

The news media really has no liability for HIPAA violations - they're not patient care providers. The hospitals would have issue though.
 

kenneycb

Hates Goose Island Beer; Loves Backdoor Play
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Dec 2, 2006
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This reminds me a lot of the "TO attempt suicide" story from about 10 years ago or whenever. Pretty much down to the T outside of the naked Walgreens part.
 

Harry Hooper

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This reminds me a lot of the "TO attempt suicide" story from about 10 years ago or whenever. Pretty much down to the T outside of the naked Walgreens part.
Merloni said barefoot and shirtless. Not hard to see that getting exaggerated in the re-telling to naked, but who knows at this point.
 

kenneycb

Hates Goose Island Beer; Loves Backdoor Play
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Dec 2, 2006
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Merloni said barefoot and shirtless. Not hard to see that getting exaggerated in the re-telling to naked, but who knows at this point.
I mean that's technically naked to some degree right? But yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a reaction or misstep of dosage that led to a temporary out of body experience. I knew an insomniac who, if he stayed up through the first wave of the ambien, would think his sheets were talking to him and other such trips. Shit can get you.
 

Dogman

Yukon Cornelius
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Posting directions to players homes on this site, irrespective of how public and easy the info is to come by, is not ok.
 

DeJesus Built My Hotrod

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Posting directions to players homes on this site, irrespective of how public and easy the info is to come by, is not ok.
What about directions to Walgreens or the police station? Is that ok? Also, what if we need to go there and save BB from being domestically abused by one of his players who is buck naked and on a blood-thirsty, bath-salts induced rampage?
 

nighthob

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Well you guys can be homers about this whole mess but I know where most objective NFL fans including me will come down.

Given that Belichick's badly battered face just happens to coincide with one of his top defensive players going on a drug addled rampage around Foxboro, its more probable than not that the two are related.
I've heard from my sources that 11 of the 12 people he attacked were a full two pints short of blood.
 

Pandemonium67

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Apr 17, 2003
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I just read the last five pages, so allow me to summarize:
Chandler Jones found Gronk's stash of purple weed, got megabuzzed, walked naked to Walgreen's to get munchies but changed his mind and went instead to the cop station for a donut. He also got something jammed up his ass, and Gronk punched BB in the eye in the dugout at Fenway Park for violating HIPAA laws, while skipping practice to visit a kid sick from cancer.

tl;dr version: Goodell is docking the Pats a few more picks
 

E5 Yaz

Transcends message boarding
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I just read the last five pages, so allow me to summarize:
Chandler Jones found Gronk's stash of purple weed, got megabuzzed, walked naked to Walgreen's to get munchies but changed his mind and went instead to the cop station for a donut. He also got something jammed up his ass, and Gronk punched BB in the eye in the dugout at Fenway Park for violating HIPAA laws, while skipping practice to visit a kid sick from cancer.

tl;dr version: Goodell is docking the Pats a few more picks
 

dixielandbandana

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As soon as I heard the "naked at Walgreens" part, my mind immediately went to Ambien. It's a schedule IV drug, so it's possible police were referring to that when they were talking about a class 4. I have heard a lot of crazy stories about Ambien, and I've seen both Ambien and synthetic marijuana make people go a little crazy. Both of those would be out of the system pretty quickly, as well. Hopefully there are no long-term issues at play!
 

AardsmaToZupcic

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My brothers wife has some pretty awesome stories from when he was taking ambien while stationed in Germany so I could totally buy that.
First Night I started my Ambien prescription was when the Celtics won the championship in 2008.
Police found me walking down the street at 330 am talking with Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen about them just winning the championship.
Of course I was actually alone talking to myself and completely fucked up on a sidewalk.
And yes I Had my doctor switch my meds right after that..
 

Ed Hillel

Wants to be startin somethin
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Dec 12, 2007
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I woke up with the wonderful thought it could be Ambien. I've heard some horror stories, such as those described here, some include people actually sleep driving. I think it would also explain all the records being removed, since all of the preceding behavior would be considered an actual medical emergency.

If it is this simple, he probably is in a position where he should say something, though, just to get people off his back. Today will be an interesting day for JamGronkEyeGate.
 

Ferm Sheller

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Nothing would make me happier than to have BB show up to today's press conference with a completely normal left eye and a shiner over his right one.
 

nivek

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Dec 20, 2015
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Considering a scandal with the Pats usually means a trip to the Super Bowl, see Spygate and Squishy Balls, the case of a f'ed up, streaking Jones may be a sign of good things to come. Pretty messed up though that they haven't even had a playoff game yet and shit is already going on.
 

gmogmo

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rumor i heard which can be taken with a grain of salt....viagra situation, heart was beating out of chest so was nervous was having a heart attack. was with a few girls at gronk's house
 

CantKeepmedown

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Jul 15, 2005
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rumor i heard which can be taken with a grain of salt....viagra situation, heart was beating out of chest so was nervous was having a heart attack. was with a few girls at gronk's house
Does viagra fall into the class D category that was being talked about earlier? And I suppose it could have caused him to run out of the house with no shirt and shoes, totally freaking out. Let's hope it's that simple.

Merloni was basically saying last night that he knew the whole story. Was clear that it wasn't an OD situation. Let's hope this is cleared up by 10:15 this morning.
 

Omar's Wacky Neighbor

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Leaving in a bit to the studio :)
Still not sure why police would have to go "secure the residence" for a minor health scare.
SOP I'd venture in some towns. Twice in the past few years in our small town, the cops failed to shut off the the stove/oven on ambulance calls/transports, which resulted in minor fire calls several hours later. Both times, the transports were for NOT for what most of us would consider physical/trauma issues (draw from that what you will).