The Bill Simmons Thread
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I’m sure I’m bringing my own athletes vs media that cover them biases to it, but the Mannings just repeatedly dunked on Bill and he didn’t even realize it.
Favorite example - Bill starts talking about how upset Brady is and how he might rejoin the Pats next year.
Peyton deadpan asked if Brady had called and told Bill that. To me, it sounded pretty wry - like what are you talking about, stop acting like you’re plugged in like that.
Now, a normal person picks up on that and says, well no he didn’t call. Or makes a joke about how Brady was too busy on Tinder for their weekly call or whatever. But Bill is so weird and insecure and just weird he has to go on this whole spiel about how Tom isn’t talking to anyone this week he’s so pissed and focused.
Lol, it’s ok Bill, Tom doesn’t call me either. You still have your millions and fame.
Favorite example - Bill starts talking about how upset Brady is and how he might rejoin the Pats next year.
Peyton deadpan asked if Brady had called and told Bill that. To me, it sounded pretty wry - like what are you talking about, stop acting like you’re plugged in like that.
Now, a normal person picks up on that and says, well no he didn’t call. Or makes a joke about how Brady was too busy on Tinder for their weekly call or whatever. But Bill is so weird and insecure and just weird he has to go on this whole spiel about how Tom isn’t talking to anyone this week he’s so pissed and focused.
Lol, it’s ok Bill, Tom doesn’t call me either. You still have your millions and fame.
The story BS got Eli to tell about giving peyton a wedgie on a guys’ weekend golf trip and the pro bowl stories Peyton told about Belichick were fantastic. I thought BS was playing into their line of humor but maybe he was just the butt of the joke. I found his segment very entertaining.
I don’t think Peyton was looking for Bills answer when he asked Bill what’s the d going to do zone coverage or blitz. Like, I’m just going to play dumb and ask you a basic question that doesn’t make sense particularly to keep the tv show going but bottom line you’re a media guy who doesn’t know squat and I’ll treat you as such
Well, but that's just part of the premise, right? The "media guy" nerd, who's the avatar for us, sits at the table with the jocks and they make fun of him for not having played, but through his superior wit and panache, he cuts them back down to size.
But poor Bill, really believing the hype, went in there armed to the teeth and talking "me" and "us" and we beat you guys and citing stats and dates and plays, and they just very calmly establish that Brady is not his bestie, and superfan "we" Bill isn't actually watching the game, because he's off to catch a meaningless early December Celtics game. It was masterful. And I really dislike the Mannings.
And then, at the end of his whole thing, Bill does hit with this killer joke, he brings up the Tyree catch and asks Eli what his favorite hold on that play was. Like, legit funny, I was walking and laughed out loud on the street. But then Eli comes over the top with, Tyree holding the ball and Bill has nothing. Like dopey Opey just top roped him, when the whole premise is supposed to be he's the witty raconteur and they're the dumb jokes.
I dunno, I freely admit I don't like the dude - though same for the sex offending cheat and his lucky fucky brother - but that was a lowkey evisceration and knowing Bill didn't even feel the sword makes it more delicious.
I like on the podcast from yesterday how Sal called him out about his hot take on the Cs. Bill said because the Celtics lost to GS you can throw out the first 26 games, "they don't matter." That is a WEEI level take right there and Sal was like what are you talking about, your team is going to be just fine and will be there at the end.
Asking the Mannings "what's the biggest fight you've ever had" on live TV was a great question by Bill. It could've gone 100 ways, but the answer was very funny.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRVfmRg7/
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRVfmRg7/
I thought Bill asking them what their biggest fight was was a legitimately good question and interesting. That was his best “host” moment in a long time.
To me, it seemed like Peyton was a little more familiar with Bill and his work…Eli seemed to think he was just a dope. There was a particular moment where Eli asked him about the Tom Cruise thing and Bill goes “can we just for a second talk about how we drafted a 6th round RB who just scored?! This looks like a great draft class!” And Eli (while doing the move it along finger motion) says “*sigh* yes we can talk about that after you tell this story first then we can go to that”.
And Bill definitely thought he was going to be too quick for Eli and get a few jokes in on him and Eli was more than ready for them.
Peyton has been on Bill’s show and it was good. Eli has shown time and time again that he is the best Manning.
Eli genuinely thinking about it and then slowly nodding his head and smirking when Peyton goes into it was hilarious.
Heard Arch Manning is even funnier. Gonna be fun watching Bills kids interview him some day. Just Mannings and Simmonses all the way down. Maybe a Collinsworth too.
LOL, not a great look for Bill hawking iffy bets.
View: https://twitter.com/BillSimmons/status/1603192886706642944
View: https://twitter.com/BillSimmons/status/1603192886706642944
I have zero problem with sports betting. But I also figured it'd render some sports media types unlistenable. Bill's crept into that space for me. I simply do not care, at all, about his bets. It was amusing, and tolerable, when it was essentially a side-conversation in his stuff. Now that it's largely front and center I don't listen much to his sports pods anymore (admittedly, the 24/7/365 NBA talk has been a turn off as well).
Speaking of not great looks, Bill "mansplaining" the concept of MVP to Joanna on The White Lotus finale pod was not the best look for him. One doesn't have to have a deep understanding of sports to grasp the significance of that acronym.
Especially then a 3 way parlay returns.... +106?
But I've noticed most of the apps have celebrity parlays or quick parlays available that are pre-built for you.
Is there anything more Simmons than The Ringer putting together a big NBA package, important enough to live under its own sub-domain, and then just leave his baby list hanging with a persistent "coming soon" sign?
It'sInfrastructure Trade Value Rankings Week!
It's
I often forget the Ringer has a website so, maybe Bill does too.Is there anything more Simmons than The Ringer putting together a big NBA package, important enough to live under its own sub-domain, and then just leave his baby list hanging with a persistent "coming soon" sign?
It'sInfrastructureTrade Value Rankings Week!
I follow Simmons on Twitter and he roasted him last night too. Needless to say, Simmons is not a fan.
I thought it was an entertaining podcast. Hench was the funniest of the trio in my opinion - he was great. Questioning if Bloom ran out of free FanGraph articles before reaching Story's strikeout numbers was hilarious.
Totally agree. It was an engaging listen that appealed to my lizard brain. I have given Simmons's baseball takes all the respect they deserve ever since he killed Theo for the 2005 Sox, but it was still entertaining.
I love Simmons and Hench, but within the first 15 minutes they trotted out the thoroughly discredited "only road stats count for Rockies guys" card (see DJ Lemahieu and Nelson Arenado) and analyzed the return of the Mookie trade without mentioning that they also got the Dodgers to take on the majority of David Price's contract. Simmons also wanted to pin the Sale deal on Bloom before Barrett, trying to maintain a shred of credibility, corrected him.
Then they complained that they are too cheap but then also complained that they went over the luxury tax last year in an attempt to get to the playoffs. (Yes, it meant two second round picks turned into two 5th round picks. Do some research into what the value of that is and tell me if it's worth punting on the playoffs).
It's pretty funny, but needs to be labeled "For Entertainment Purposes Only".
EDIT: And Simmons just claimed that Paxton's option this year was for 10 million. Then they went though a list of Bloom's successes without mentioning Kike Hernandez, Hunter Renfroe (signing him, not trading him), or anything else about coming within 2 games of the World Series 13 months ago.
It's fine to be critical of Bloom. The JBJ deal last year was an abject failure the day it was made. Some of the extension offers made prior to this year were embarrassing. But they may as well be Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity discussing politics.
Then they complained that they are too cheap but then also complained that they went over the luxury tax last year in an attempt to get to the playoffs. (Yes, it meant two second round picks turned into two 5th round picks. Do some research into what the value of that is and tell me if it's worth punting on the playoffs).
It's pretty funny, but needs to be labeled "For Entertainment Purposes Only".
EDIT: And Simmons just claimed that Paxton's option this year was for 10 million. Then they went though a list of Bloom's successes without mentioning Kike Hernandez, Hunter Renfroe (signing him, not trading him), or anything else about coming within 2 games of the World Series 13 months ago.
It's fine to be critical of Bloom. The JBJ deal last year was an abject failure the day it was made. Some of the extension offers made prior to this year were embarrassing. But they may as well be Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity discussing politics.
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Simmons comes out of writing retirement (at least he admits it) to (finally) write the trade value column.
https://nbarankings.theringer.com/trade-value
https://nbarankings.theringer.com/trade-value
The parent corner today was a riot, man if Bill's son wasn't so bad at getting away with these petty offenses he could grow up into being quite the hustler.
It's pretty impressive Simmons got his self described doofus son into Harvard Westlake. It might be his apex mountain.
I hadn't listened to a full Simmons' podcast since he returned from vacation this summer and did one about Durant. In August.
But I have to admit, when Kyrie was traded I wanted to hear Bill's take. And the pod with him and Russillo was highly entertaining.
But I have to admit, when Kyrie was traded I wanted to hear Bill's take. And the pod with him and Russillo was highly entertaining.
Outstanding.
Then part 2 was Bill & Sal doing an hour on Super Bowl prop bets. I lasted 10 minutes. Sooooo boring. Gamblers really think everyone is fascinated by gambling.
Apropo of nothing I just walked through a park in the lower east side of New York and a roughly thirty year year old woman wearing a Harvard-westlake swim pool jacket was smoking a monster joint. Who knows what the future holds for young Ben
https://www.semafor.com/article/02/12/2023/how-spotifys-podcast-bet-went-wrong
Big article about Spotify’s bet on podcasts, with Bill making a brief but prominent appearance. Apparently Spotify originally planned to take the Ringer pods behind the paywall, but Bill went to the CEO to stop it.
Big article about Spotify’s bet on podcasts, with Bill making a brief but prominent appearance. Apparently Spotify originally planned to take the Ringer pods behind the paywall, but Bill went to the CEO to stop it.
I stopped listening to his podcast regularly a few years ago but will pop in when there’s a guest I’m interested in. Klosterman is one of those guests and he didn’t disappoint. Great episode today touching on the Wembenyama, NBA, ghosts, aliens and the Kennedy assassination.
I missed that Klosterman was on last week because the stupid episode title leads with Jon Jones and Ariel Helwani, which is a no for me, dawg. Will have to circle back now.
It is worth a listen and you're right about the titling. They put the headliner on the bottom. Great marketing.
Skip Ariel.
I initially read that as "destroyed" Affleck's career, and that kind of has happened a couple of times. Which I think he'd agree with, talking about how around the time of Gone Baby Gone he thought his acting career was basically over. He went from Oscar winning screenwriter, A-list actor and tabloid fodder who flamed out, highly acclaimed director... and then he was Batman.
I’m surprised to feel this way, but Affleck has ended up with the far better and more interesting career, no? And probably ended up being a bit less weird with no crypto shilling and unfortunate metoo comments (note Damon didn’t say anything bad, but it was kinda meatheady for a Cambridge guy).
Not as an actor. I think you could argue that Damon is currently a top 10 male American actor. I mean, this is a pretty impressive body of work, and I've excluded a bunch of movies I haven't seen or that weren't super-popular:
Rounders
Ford v. Ferrari
The Bourne movies
The Martian
Interstellar
The Ocean's movies
All the Pretty Horses (I really liked this movie)
Talented Mr. Ripley
Rounders
Saving Private Ryan
Good Will Hunting
The Rainmaker
Also, I'll take Damon's one-time crypto shilling to the many, many actors currently actively shilling for gambling companies.
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Oh it’s not a slam on Damon, they’re both living the dream. Just seems like Affleck has had the more interesting career. In part, by default cuz he gets to be Ohtani with his director side gig, but I think he went darker and more interesting places. Maybe his public persona made that easier for him.
Affleck's had some real success as a director, but he's always been a horrible actor. He eventually reached a point where he was capable of not completing ruining things with his mere presense, but hi VORA is still negative.
You obviously didn't listen to the interview. (I get your point, but if that interview was their Monday Night Football show, then Ben was Peyton taking up almost all of the airtime, Matt was Eli chipping in an occasional comment, and Bill was the guest trying desperately to get a word in whenever Ben/Peyton took a breath.)
I think they both done really well for themselves, but I've found even some of their failures interesting. (I liked Daredevil and The Last Duel, for instance.)
He doesn't have range but he's a good actor when used correctly (e.g. Gone Girl).