There were some creative answers in tonight's, 4/3 Sox - O's gamethread. Would a mod want to move them?
So they started that gifts from every opposing team, a' la Mo, for Jeter in Houston this week. What
- Thread starter Al Zarilla
- Start date
Nothing.
Rivera was the greatest to ever play his role so I'll grudgingly make an exception. Jeter is just another guy, these retirement tours are stupid.
Rivera was the greatest to ever play his role so I'll grudgingly make an exception. Jeter is just another guy, these retirement tours are stupid.
Offer a #2 from the scoreboard via auction (making sure that NYY fans are aware of it's availability). Whatever the high bid is, match it, and donate the combined total to Jeter's Turn 2 Foundation.
A golf bag sized tube of Acyclovir with ornate cursive lettering on the side asking "What are your hopes? What are your dreams?"
NJ Fan said:
I like this idea.
For funsies they should pipe in a slow "Nomah's Bettah" chant for old times sake.
The 3rd-Base bag - which he should have taken up a decade ago to make way for Rodriguez.
Also already mentioned, but the idea of a Nomar jersey is good too. Or maybe a signed Nomar baseball or something.
Seriously, I felt it was ridiculous last year with Rivera (not worth getting into that again as apparently I'm in the minority, although not the only one who felt that way).
If we're now going to be subjected to this again this year with Jeter, it's just downright absurd.
If they're going to do anything, at least make it a 2-for-1 deal and have him up there with Bud Selig or something.
Also already mentioned, but the idea of a Nomar jersey is good too. Or maybe a signed Nomar baseball or something.
Seriously, I felt it was ridiculous last year with Rivera (not worth getting into that again as apparently I'm in the minority, although not the only one who felt that way).
If we're now going to be subjected to this again this year with Jeter, it's just downright absurd.
If they're going to do anything, at least make it a 2-for-1 deal and have him up there with Bud Selig or something.
I actually don't hate these ceremonies. It's kind of cool when a one team HOFer goes out, and as a 27 year old, Rivera and Jeter have occupied a central part of my rooting interest basically forever. Someday I'd love to see the league give Ortiz or Pedroia the same treatment.
...but having said that, it would be hilarious they did NOTHING. Just play 19 baseball games, and act completely oblivious to the story, and act befuddled when people ask them about it. The media clusterfuck would be incredible to behold, and actually the most appropriate totem to jeters career.
...but having said that, it would be hilarious they did NOTHING. Just play 19 baseball games, and act completely oblivious to the story, and act befuddled when people ask them about it. The media clusterfuck would be incredible to behold, and actually the most appropriate totem to jeters career.
Find the calmest eyes of all humans alive, extract them, and give him some even CALMER eyes. Actual eyes.
What's great is that the Sox will be the last team to make any sort of presentation, since the Yankees' season ends at Fenway on 9/28. So whatever useless garbage the club decides to give Jeter, they'll have a completely valid excuse that all the best better good decent ok ideas were already taken.
* In tribute to his lateral limitations afield, he should have one of these to boldly go where no Jeter has gone before (i.e. more than 2 yards in any direction):
RADIO CONTROLLED 1:24 SCALE MODEL RANGE ROVER
* He couldn't get a glove on most of those ground balls, but there's no reason he should be kept from retrieving anything else he wants in life:
CAREX 26-INCH EZ-GRABBER REACHING AID
* I suspect Cap'n Intangibles plans to spend lots of days in the sun as he enjoys retirement. What better way for him to get his tan on than with this:
SUPRE FIST PUMP DARK BRONZING MAXIMIZER (8.5 oz)
* Along those lines, he's going to need some reading material as well:
FIST PUMP: AN IN-YOUR-FACE GUIDE TO GOING GUIDO by Guido DiErio
* In appreciation of that lame little step-and-jump he'd always do after slowly galloping to his right in order to make routine throws appear miraculous:
PLUSH-UPHOLSTERED ADULT-SIZED HOPPITY HORSE
* Finally, for the man whose feet have long been rigidly set in concrete, the means to free himself of its grip:
BARGE ALL-PURPOSE CEMENT THINNER
* In tribute to his lateral limitations afield, he should have one of these to boldly go where no Jeter has gone before (i.e. more than 2 yards in any direction):
RADIO CONTROLLED 1:24 SCALE MODEL RANGE ROVER
* He couldn't get a glove on most of those ground balls, but there's no reason he should be kept from retrieving anything else he wants in life:
CAREX 26-INCH EZ-GRABBER REACHING AID
* I suspect Cap'n Intangibles plans to spend lots of days in the sun as he enjoys retirement. What better way for him to get his tan on than with this:
SUPRE FIST PUMP DARK BRONZING MAXIMIZER (8.5 oz)
* Along those lines, he's going to need some reading material as well:
FIST PUMP: AN IN-YOUR-FACE GUIDE TO GOING GUIDO by Guido DiErio
* In appreciation of that lame little step-and-jump he'd always do after slowly galloping to his right in order to make routine throws appear miraculous:
PLUSH-UPHOLSTERED ADULT-SIZED HOPPITY HORSE
* Finally, for the man whose feet have long been rigidly set in concrete, the means to free himself of its grip:
BARGE ALL-PURPOSE CEMENT THINNER
CaptainLaddie said:
More proof that no matter what it is on this earth, you can probably find it on Amazon:
You can't make possibly this up
As long as the Yankees are eliminated and the Sox are on the way to the post season. They could give him post season tickets.
Damn.Rough Carrigan said:
I was just going to say to ask what his hopes and dreams are and get him that.
M
MentalDisabldLst
Guest
TheoShmeo said:
It hurts me that this is the only mention of the obvious answer, which is a basket full of intangibles.
"It only looks like nothing ..."
M
MentalDisabldLst
Guest
I believe the line from 1986 was "General Electric has wider range than Marty Barrett." Showing this double-wide is being kind to Jeter.Dan to Theo to Ben said:
Hmmmm... for old calm eyes - the man who seemingly has everything - how about a jar of infield dirt collected just beyond two feet to his left?
We'll need to label it of course so that he knows what it is.
Edit - Me no write so good.
We'll need to label it of course so that he knows what it is.
Edit - Me no write so good.
A picture of The Steal that's cropped so Roberts' hand is just entering the frame. A la the Ghoff P&G thread.
Seems classy until you figure it out.
Seems classy until you figure it out.
TheStoryofYourRedRightAnkle said:
To which thread are you referring? I sat here for a couple of minutes trying to figure it out and I'm stumped.
