Rename the Red Sox AAA Team!

Savin Hillbilly

loves the secret sauce
SoSH Member
Jul 10, 2007
18,736
The wrong side of the bridge....
The Worcester Rusneys, in honor of the man that will never leave its roster.
"Rusney Down in Triple-A":

Let me tell you a story of a man named Rusney
On a tragic and fateful day
he signed a contract for 70 million
then got stuck in Triple-A

Did he ever return? No, he never returned
and his contract's still unearned
he may play forever in the upper minors
he's the man who never returned

Now you citizens of Boston
don't you think it's a scandal
how we never got to see him play?
Screw the luxury tax, go and tell John Henry
get poor Rusney out of Triple-A!
 

thehitcat

Member
SoSH Member
Nov 25, 2003
1,879
Windham, ME
I mean we know this right?

According to the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the PawSox have trademarked the names “Worcesters,” “Ruby, Legs,” and — last but not least — “Wicked Worms.”

Trademark names for the Worcester Red Sox

I'd be great with the Ruby Legs. I can live with the Wicked Worms if they want to sell merch. The Worcester Worcesters while historically correct is probably my least favorite.
 

phrenile

Well-Known Member
Lifetime Member
SoSH Member
Aug 4, 2005
9,447
Living off Hope
I mean we know this right?
It's safe to say the choice has already been registered as a trademark, but the PawSox aren't necessarily the listed owner. (It could be transferred to them later.)

For example, the same attorney who registered those names also recently registered the Tarp Skunks for baseball entertainment, listing some guy at her office as the owner.
 

8slim

Well-Known Member
Silver Supporter
SoSH Member
Nov 6, 2001
13,545
Unreal America
"Rusney Down in Triple-A":

Let me tell you a story of a man named Rusney
On a tragic and fateful day
he signed a contract for 70 million
then got stuck in Triple-A

Did he ever return? No, he never returned
and his contract's still unearned
he may play forever in the upper minors
he's the man who never returned

Now you citizens of Boston
don't you think it's a scandal
how we never got to see him play?
Screw the luxury tax, go and tell John Henry
get poor Rusney out of Triple-A!
This was well done. The Kingston Trio would approve.
 

TheStoryofYourRedRightAnkle

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 2, 2006
9,142
Multivac
I mean we know this right?

According to the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the PawSox have trademarked the names “Worcesters,” “Ruby, Legs,” and — last but not least — “Wicked Worms.”

Trademark names for the Worcester Red Sox

I'd be great with the Ruby Legs. I can live with the Wicked Worms if they want to sell merch. The Worcester Worcesters while historically correct is probably my least favorite.
The Worcester Woosters with Bertie and Jeeves as mascots would be fun. They could do Wodehouse-based skits between innings.
 

Sam Ray Not

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 19, 2005
6,225
NYC
There is no way they can do worse than NY's high A team did last year, a name guaranteed to give you a double take:

Seems right on point for a team whose best players will someday be playing in the toilet, no?

In all seriousness: I occasionally go to Staten Island Yankees games (A-ball short season, a free 15-minute ferry ride from my office, perfect summer evening event). Why not just name all the teams the Yankees?
 

FisksFinger

lurker
Oct 23, 2013
92
Seattle, WA
Speaking as someone who was born and raised there, Worcester Worcesters would be the most apropos of being completely boring, lame and disappointing like the rest of the city.

FWIW, Ruby Legs makes me think of the Lamplighter or Fuzzy Grape.
 

Sam Ray Not

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 19, 2005
6,225
NYC
Its not disappointing to me. It's disappointing for anyone who doesn't know better and thinks the second largest city in New England won't be lame.
Haha, that's fair. I'm embarrassed to say I haven't been to Worcester (that I remember anyway; I may have been toted there once or twice as a kid), but at the risking of pissing off half of SoSH, my general sense is that most of the cities on that list after #1 are at least somewhat lame. I mean, most of the CT ones on the list are Yankees country, so not even really New England, haha. Thanks for the excellent trivia question, though!
 

FisksFinger

lurker
Oct 23, 2013
92
Seattle, WA
Haha, that's fair. I'm embarrassed to say I haven't been to Worcester (that I remember anyway; I may have been toted there once or twice as a kid), but at the risking of pissing off half of SoSH, my general sense is that most of the cities on that list after #1 are at least somewhat lame. I mean, most of the CT ones on the list are Yankees country, so not even really New England, haha. Thanks for the excellent trivia question, though!
I was honestly surprised the trivia question still holds, I've used it for years and thought either Hartford or Providence must have passed us by. And agreed on the others being at least somewhat lame, but Worcester is a strong #1 on the lamest cities in New England, just check out this sign from one its high schools.

 

Sam Ray Not

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 19, 2005
6,225
NYC
I don’t think it’s too bad. Main problem is that “woo” isn’t the first syllable of “Worcester” so makes me think more of Woburn.
 

Plantiers Wart

Member
SoSH Member
Oct 16, 2002
3,530
west hartford
Regarding the trivia on Worcester. At a parents orientation when my son started at Assumption, they said Worcester was second biggest in NE. Woman next to me turned and asked “what’s number one?”
 

Ford Frick's Asterisk

Member
SoSH Member
May 5, 2017
644
The smiley looks like they threw in a placeholder on the first draft before planning to brainstorm about a real mascot and then forgot about it.
 

nvalvo

Member
SoSH Member
Jul 16, 2005
16,955
Rogers Park
Worcester Hearts
(from its ties to Valentines Day Cards - Esther Howland)

A monkey could easily market the shit out of new Heart merchandise. Easy to incorporate into team gear, logo and field design, etc.

Red Sox - Red - Pink stuff...
Profit.
this was a few pages back.
 

ngruz25

Bibby
SoSH Member
Sep 20, 2005
13,879
Pittsburgh, PA
I think it's far, far better than the typical cookie cutter Brandiose minor league baseball creation. They're the marketing, ahem, "branding", firm behind the paint-by-numbers quirky nicknames dominating the minors nowadays.
 

Mrmojo

lurker
Nov 30, 2005
9
Here are the nicknames of Worcester:
  • The Heart of the Commonwealth
  • City of Seven Hills
  • Wormtown - I'm thinking this one is the best starting point...
  • Paris of the 80's
  • The Woo
 

JBJ_HOF

Member
SoSH Member
Apr 5, 2014
359
They are playing in Polar Park, not keeping the polar bear mascot is beyond dumb when the Smiley Face is the winning option.

1. Woo Sox w/ polar bear
2. Woo Sox w/ heart theme
3. Just stolen the Worcester Railers moniker.

 

The_Powa_of_Seiji_Ozawa

Member
SoSH Member
Sep 9, 2006
5,797
SS Botany Bay
They're trying to be too cute with the Worcesteriana. The smiley face thing is way too esoteric. And if they wanted to invoke Ortiz and Ted Williams' swings, they should have made Smiley Face left handed.
 

Madmartigan

Member
SoSH Member
May 1, 2012
4,818
They're trying to be too cute with the Worcesteriana. The smiley face thing is way too esoteric. And if they wanted to invoke Ortiz and Ted Williams' swings, they should have made Smiley Face left handed.
Looks to me like he is left handed. He’s at the end of his follow through with a top hand release swing.