Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (Or, let's make some money for charity)

[LogansDad]

As one of the few posters on this board who has been excited for the 2023 Red Sox basically since the end of the 2022 World Series, this has been an incredibly long and frustrating offseason. Watching 75% of you turd buckets melt down 22.5 hours a day from November until February was like having my toe nails ripped out, one at a time, over and over. I am glad I don't live in Boston anymore, because if this offseason is the way the reasonable and thoughtful people that we are supposed to be on this board act when discussing baseball, then I can't imagine trying to chat with Sully from Southy about the Sox.

So, it's time. The season starts next week and I have spend 5 months trying not to rip my hair out reading the oozing panic all over SoSH, and 90% of you are probably tired of my optimism. Sadly, I live off of my military retirement, and just had to take out $15K in home repair loans, so I can't make any crazy, life changing wagers, but:

I HEREBY DECLARE AND LET IT BE KNOWN THUSLY:

I WILL TAKE ON THE FIRST FOUR (4 for those of you who can't read number words) SoSH CHALLENGERS UNDER THE FOLLOWING TERMS AND CONDITIONS

1) If the Red Sox finish the 2023 season below 81 wins, I will pay $50 per challenger to the Jimmy Fund.

2) If the Red Sox finish the season with 81 or more wins, but miss the playoffs, I will pay $25 per challenger to the Jimmy Fund, and each challenger will pay $25 to the Jimmy Fund (or the charity of their choice)

3) If the Red Sox make the playoffs, each challenger will pay $50 to the Jimmy Fund (or the charity of their choice).

4) If the Red Sox win the World Series, all four challengers and myself will pay $50 to the Jimmy Fund (or the charity of their choice), and everybody fucking wins.

You have until Sunday, 2 April, at midnight to accept this challenge.

Bring on the regular season, for fuck's sake.



LogansDad challengers:
1. Scott Cooper's Grand Slam
2. Average Game James
3. jwbasham84
4. Phil Plantier

Heating up in the bullpen challengers:
1. Coachster
2. streeter88
3. Pozo the Clown
4. NickEsasky

pk1627 challengers:
1. Traut
2. FlexFlexerson
3. DennyDoyle'sBoil
4. pokey_reese

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SIDE BETS

Coachster challenger(James Paxton 40+ innings, challengers take the over, $50 wager)
1. Sin Duda

streeter88 challenger (Paxton 40+ IP, challenger takes the over, $50 wager)
1. Bob Montgomery's Helmet Hat

streeter88 challenger (Sale 5+ QS, REAL QS, not those fake ones, whatever they are, challenger takes the over, $50 wager)
1. Bob Montgomery's Helmet Hat

DDB challenge (DDB pays $25 per month that Kiké hits a home run, and $50 extra if he hits >10.5, challenger accepts $100 wager to the Jimmy Fund if the Red Sox throw a no-hitter... a real no-hitter, not that fake shit)
1. rockchalkredsox

ookami7m challenger (Yoshida greater than 25 HR and 40 doubles, challenger takes the under, $100 wager)
1. StupendousMan

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DONATIONS

1. Average Game James: $1 for every IP by James Paxton

 

[Heating up in the bullpen]

As one of the few posters on this board who has been excited for the 2023 Red Sox basically since the end of the 2022 World Series, this has been an incredibly long and frustrating offseason. Watching 75% of you turd buckets melt down 22.5 hours a day from November until February was like having my toe nails ripped out, one at a time, over and over. I am glad I don't live in Boston anymore, because if this offseason is the way the reasonable and thoughtful people that we are supposed to be on this board act when discussing baseball, then I can't imagine trying to chat with Sully from Southy about the Sox.

So, it's time. The season starts next week and I have spend 5 months trying not to rip my hair out reading the oozing panic all over SoSH, and 90% of you are probably tired of my optimism. Sadly, I live off of my military retirement, and just had to take out $15K in home repair loans, so I can't make any crazy, life changing wagers, but:

I HEREBY DECLARE AND LET IT BE KNOWN THUSLY:

I WILL TAKE ON THE FIRST FOUR (4 for those of you who can't read number words) SoSH CHALLENGERS UNDER THE FOLLOWING TERMS AND CONDITIONS

1) If the Red Sox finish the 2023 season below 81 wins, I will pay $50 per challenger to the Jimmy Fund.

2) If the Red Sox finish the season with 81 or more wins, but miss the playoffs, I will pay $25 per challenger to the Jimmy Fund, and each challenger will pay $25 to the Jimmy Fund (or the charity of their choice)

3) If the Red Sox make the playoffs, each challenger will pay $50 to the Jimmy Fund (or the charity of their choice).

4) If the Red Sox win the World Series, all four challengers and myself will pay $50 to the Jimmy Fund (or the charity of their choice), and everybody fucking wins.

Bring on the regular season, for fuck's sake.

I'm with you on optimism for this season. So rather than taking your challenge, I'll join in your challenge. Which means together we can take on 8 challengers (4 each). Will you have me on your team?

 

[LogansDad]

100%, welcome to the club!

 

[Scott Cooper's Grand Slam]

This is a bet with no bad outcomes. Challenge accepted.

 

[LogansDad]

This is a bet with no bad outcomes. Challenge accepted.

Awesome sauce.

Also, I updated the original post to note that you all have until Wednesday to accept the challenge.

 

[Average Game James]

I'm game. I'll even up the ante. If the Sox win the World Series I'll make it $500 to the Jimmy Fund.

 

[LogansDad]

I'm game. I'll even up the ante. If the Sox win the World Series I'll make it $500 to the Jimmy Fund.

I likely can't match your raise, but have you on the list for the main challenge.

 

[pk1627]

This is heavily stacked against optimists in that you set wins at 81 (not 78) and threw a playoff berth in the mix. Also, it’s a 4:1 bet. So, well done.

I recommend you keep it open through the first series. I know it’s Baltimore, but the Sox always seem to start rough. And believe me, the pessimists will come out with even 1 loss. We can direct them to this thread.

I’m not sure it’ll get there, but I’ll cover takers 9-12. I stand with the optimists and getting $$ to charities.

 

[LogansDad]

This is heavily stacked against optimists in that you set wins at 81 (not 78) and threw a playoff berth in the mix. Also, it’s a 4:1 bet. So, well done.

I recommend you keep it open through the first series. I know it’s Baltimore, but the Sox always seem to start rough. And believe me, the pessimists will come out with even 1 loss. We can direct them to this thread.

I’m not sure it’ll get there, but I’ll cover takers 9-12. I stand with the optimists and getting $$ to charities.

If it gets past me I will alternate challengers between you and Heating up in the bullpen.

Also extended the opening to Sunday.

 

[jwbasham84]

I'm in. Though I'm with you I think the red Sox do better than 81 games. However won't pass up the chance to get money to a deserving charity.

 

[Average Game James]

I likely can't match your raise, but have you on the list for the main challenge.

The raise is just for me. Seems like a small price to pay for yet another World Series…

 

[jwbasham84]

I'll match the $500 world series AGJ... I agree small price to pay!!!

 

[Phil Plantier]

I'm optimistic, but I'll take you on the challenge anyway since this is a great idea.

 

[Coachster]

I would like to be that 4th LogansDad challenger.

I have another one, that I've been thinking about for a while. I'll give $50 to the Jimmy Fund if James Paxton pitches more than 40 innings for the Boston Red Sox this season. Anybody want to take the over for $50?

 

[Sin Duda]

I would like to be that 4th LogansDad challenger.

I have another one, that I've been thinking about for a while. I'll give $50 to the Jimmy Fund if James Paxton pitches more than 40 innings for the Boston Red Sox this season. Anybody want to take the over for $50?

Another optimist here. IN! I've got the Paxton 40+ innings OVER for 50 JFDs.

 

[LogansDad]

I would like to be that 4th LogansDad challenger.

I have another one, that I've been thinking about for a while. I'll give $50 to the Jimmy Fund if James Paxton pitches more than 40 innings for the Boston Red Sox this season. Anybody want to take the over for $50?

Ah, Phil Plantier got here first, but you're in against Heating up in the bullpen, unless either of you says otherwise.

 

[LogansDad]

Updated for the side bet (and please, if I get anything wrong, let me know right away)

 

[streeter88]

I am already on record as wagering against either Sale or Paxton making more than 5 quality starts - which would roughly equate to 40 innings. So please put me on the board for that side bet. And I will join the main Red Sox record bet as a challenger with @Heating up in the bullpen which is probably apt given my other bet. So if they win the WS and that took Sale and Paxton both excelling to do it, then I would be out $250 to the Jimmy Fund. Would be $$ well spent both from a charity and fan perspective.

I laughed. And agree 100%. As for Sale, he will blow his foofer valve and be out for the season - again.

For those of you not familiar with what a foofer valve is, let Sale show you the way. He is this generation’s Mark Pryor, and Paxton is Matt Clement.

I will donate $50 to Jimmy Fund if either Sale or Paxton makes more than 5 quality starts next year. And if they combine to make 20 quality starts, I will donate $200 to the Jimmy Fund. Who will match me?

 

[Traut]

Challenge accepted. I want some joy when they win 78 games this year.

 

[JM3]

Challenge accepted. I want some joy when they win 78 games this year.

It's rampant optimism like this that has moved the over/under from 77.5 wins to 78.5 wins.

 

[deythur]

I likely can't match your raise, but have you on the list for the main challenge.

Ill match the raise for you. $500 to The Jimmy Fund in your name if the Sox win the WS.

 

[Bob Montgomerys Helmet Hat]

If any pessimists have any other side bets in mind, I'd be happy to take the sunshine side.

 

[Sin Duda]

How about on the hitters' side? What's the over/under on players with at least 400 PAs that have an OPS over 800?

 

[LogansDad]

I am already on record as wagering against either Sale or Paxton making more than 5 quality starts - which would roughly equate to 40 innings. So please put me on the board for that side bet. And I will join the main Red Sox record bet as a challenger with @Heating up in the bullpen which is probably apt given my other bet. So if they win the WS and that took Sale and Paxton both excelling to do it, then I would be out $250 to the Jimmy Fund. Would be $$ well spent both from a charity and fan perspective.

I will put you up top as awaiting a challenger on this one.

 

[LogansDad]

If any pessimists have any other side bets in mind, I'd be happy to take the sunshine side.

Give me the word and I will throw you in against streeter.

 

[Bob Montgomerys Helmet Hat]

Give me the word and I will throw you in against streeter.

Giddyup!

 

[streeter88]

Jimmy Fund wins all the way around - excellent.

By the way, I really hope I am wrong about Sale and Paxton. If they are able to buck their recent history and contribute significantly, it would be very good for the team.

 

[LogansDad]

Giddyup!

Done

 

[streeter88]

@LogansDad can you please put me in as second challenger for @Heating up in the bullpen main bet on overall record?

Also, does anybody want a third side bet on Sale getting more than 5 quality starts? I honestly think he is destined for another off the field scissors accident.

 

[Bob Montgomerys Helmet Hat]

@LogansDad can you please put me in as second challenger for @Heating up in the bullpen main bet on overall record?

Also, does anybody want a third side bet on Sale getting more than 5 quality starts? I honestly think he is destined for another off the field scissors accident.

I'm in for that one too!!

 

[streeter88]

Just to clarify it's a Quality Start as officially defined. I figure if Chris Sale is back to being CHRIS SALE, it should be no problem and again would be fantastic for Sox bullpen and overall competitiveness if he exceeds 5 QS, but I have to ask the question. @Bob Montgomerys Helmet Hat you good with that?

 

[Bob Montgomerys Helmet Hat]

Just to clarify it's a Quality Start as officially defined. I figure if Chris Sale is back to being CHRIS SALE, it should be no problem and again would be fantastic for Sox bullpen and overall competitiveness if he exceeds 5 QS, but I have to ask the question. @Bob Montgomerys Helmet Hat you good with that?

I'm great with that.

 

[LogansDad]

In bed but will update with streeter's post 29 in the morning. This is a note for myself.

 

[streeter88]

This pessimism thing is starting to make me optimistic!

My sister died in 2019 from glioblastoma - came on so suddenly she was gone inside 3 months. Been a massive hole in our family ever since. So this is good.

 

[streeter88]

Wow - sorry about that last post - please carry on.

@LogansDad can you please update the OP and add me to the second group of challengers, and also add another side bet on Sale over 5 QS with @Bob Montgomerys Helmet Hat ?

Many thanks.

 

[LogansDad]

Wow - sorry about that last post - please carry on.

@LogansDad can you please update the OP and add me to the second group of challengers, and also add another side bet on Sale over 5 QS with @Bob Montgomerys Helmet Hat ?

Many thanks.

Done, I think everything is up to date, but if I messed anything up please let me know.

 

[LogansDad]

You guys made this place a cesspool of whining and misery from November until the middle of February, and after two days a measly 7 of you have been willing to step up to this challenge? My memory isn't great anymore, but some things I remember reading over the winter were:

"This team did nothing to get better, they are going to be awful."

"I can't believe they didn't give that contract to Bogaerts, it's not like he's going to be a great-grandpa when it is done. A grandpa at most."

"Chris Sale probably doesn't even have an arm left on his right shoulder, he will probably never pitch again."

"I heard from a friend's cousin's ex-wife's lawyer's unreal office hottie that Alex Cora likes to back his Tesla in. What an inconsiderate prick."

AND ONLY SEVEN OF YOU FUCKERS ARE WILLING TO PUT A MEASLY $50 ON THE LINE FOR CHARITY????!!!

I can't even say I'm surprised, really, just disappointed.

 

[Bob Montgomerys Helmet Hat]

You guys made this place a cesspool of whining and misery from November until the middle of February, and after two days a measly 7 of you have been willing to step up to this challenge? My memory isn't great anymore, but some things I remember reading over the winter were:

"This team did nothing to get better, they are going to be awful."

"I can't believe they didn't give that contract to Bogaerts, it's not like he's going to be a great-grandpa when it is done. A grandpa at most."

"Chris Sale probably doesn't even have an arm left on his right shoulder, he will probably never pitch again."

"I heard from a friend's cousin's ex-wife's lawyer's unreal office hottie that Alex Cora likes to back his Tesla in. What an inconsiderate prick."

AND ONLY SEVEN OF YOU FUCKERS ARE WILLING TO PUT A MEASLY $50 ON THE LINE FOR CHARITY????!!!

I can't even say I'm surprised, really, just disappointed.

Bloom is a charlatan.

This team has no plan.

 

[Pozo the Clown]

Being someone who eats sushi from street vendors, this sounds like a solid bet. I'm in! Please place me in slot #3 of Heating Up's list.

 

[DennyDoyle'sBoil]

I'll donate up to $200 to the Jimmy Fund -- $25 for every calendar month (April to October inclusive) in which Enrique Hernandez hits at least one home run, and another $50 if he hits more than 10.5 for the year (playoffs included) so long as someone agrees to donate $100 to the Jimmy Fund if the Sox have a no hitter (one pitcher or combined) this year.*

*As MLB defines a no hitter.

 

[LogansDad]

I'll donate up to $200 to the Jimmy Fund -- $25 for every calendar month (April to October inclusive) in which Enrique Hernandez hits at least one home run, and another $50 if he hits more than 10.5 for the year (playoffs included) so long as someone agrees to donate $100 to the Jimmy Fund if the Sox have a no hitter (one pitcher or combined) this year.*

*As MLB defines a no hitter.

You're a good sport. Updated the original post.

The rest of you (except everyone else who has taken one of these challenges) are all awful people who care nothing about doing anything good in this world.

 

[ookami7m]

Challenge: I've got $100 for the Jimmy Fund that says that Yoshida puts up at least 25 HR and 40 Doubles this year. I dare you to bet against that.

 

[StupendousMan]

I will accept ookami7m's bet, even though I agree with his assessment of Yoshida-san. But this is my way to give money to the Jimmy Fund.

 

[LogansDad]

Updated the original post. Still disappointed in this place.

 

[FlexFlexerson]

Showing up as another optimist but willing to take up the challenge for a good cause. Count me in for the main challenge.

 

[rockchalkredsox]

I'll donate up to $200 to the Jimmy Fund -- $25 for every calendar month (April to October inclusive) in which Enrique Hernandez hits at least one home run, and another $50 if he hits more than 10.5 for the year (playoffs included) so long as someone agrees to donate $100 to the Jimmy Fund if the Sox have a no hitter (one pitcher or combined) this year.*

*As MLB defines a no hitter.

I'm down for this - limited to a single no hitter. I'll also double it to $200 if the no hitter includes a pitch clock strikeout against the Sox opponent.

 

[Lose Remerswaal]

Elliot from Jordan’s Furniture is putting his insurance company’s money where his mouth is

https://www.jordans.com/thecycle/faq

 

[DennyDoyle'sBoil]

I'm down for this - limited to a single no hitter. I'll also double it to $200 if the no hitter includes a pitch clock strikeout against the Sox opponent.

Nice! Let’s go Enrique.

 

[Pozo the Clown]

Being someone who eats sushi from street vendors, this sounds like a solid bet. I'm in! Please place me in slot #3 of Heating Up's list.

I accepted the main challenge on Tues, but apparently no one read my post. Still willing to accept.

 

[LogansDad]

I accepted the main challenge on Tues, but apparently no one read my post. Still willing to accept.

Sorry, thought I had put you in, updated now.

And everything else, I think. Happy Opening Day!