Protecting the Shields -- The Nick Cafardo Thread

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

Early editions of the Sunday Globe contained three further words from Cafardo to finish the Loria item - "on my face" - but editors had a pang of conscience and city and online readers were not subjected to the lewd reference.

(Couldn't help myself.)

 

[joyofsox]

Apropos of nothing

2. "Yo, Adrian!" Always loved hearing that

 

[Van Everyman]

This is sort of an interesting tidbit:

2. Johnny Damon, OF/DH, free agent — He still wants to have a Boston address next season, but it was learned that one reason Damon didn’t take the Red Sox’ bait to rejoin them at the trading deadline last year was that he had hurt his ankle and didn’t feel he could give them what they wanted. All indications are that Damon is fine now.

I'm sorry -- did he want a Boston address sometime recently? Whatever happened to him "really liking what Detroit was building"? And on what planet does Damon fit in w Boston at this point?

 

[ifmanis5]

Even Dodgers righty Hiroki Kuroda signed a one-year, $12 million deal.

Does Nick think Kuroda is a bad pitcher? I'm going to assume he does based on that dig and the fact that his W-L record was 11-13, therefore he must be average. Does Nick know that his 2010 WAR is 4.2, basically the same as David Price (4.3) who went 19-6, and that his xFIP number is 13th best in all of baseball? I'm guessing Nick doesn't know that either. In short, Kuroda's contract is a fair one all things considered.

 

[DieHardSoxFan1]

Does Nick think Kuroda is a bad pitcher? I'm going to assume he does based on that dig and the fact that his W-L record was 11-13, therefore he must be average. Does Nick know that his 2010 WAR is 4.2, basically the same as David Price (4.3) who went 19-6, and that his xFIP number is 13th best in all of baseball? I'm guessing Nick doesn't know that either. In short, Kuroda's contract is a fair one all things considered.

Hell, 200 innings of league average pitching is worth $12 million in this market.

However, does he give you a different look? That, my friend, will determine his approximate value.

 

[ifmanis5]

However, does he give you a different look? That, my friend, will determine his approximate value.

:lol:

Indeed.

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

Our best newspaper buddy is a little bit sad that the Yankees didn't get Cliff Lee.

But that didn't stop him from gutting out a Wednesday piece that would have fit in perfectly on a Sunday:

- Blind quote? Yes!
- Rhetorical question? Yes!
- Made-up possible transactions? Yes!
- Over value of former Boston stars? Yes!
- Dire warning to Sox fans? Yes!
- A little bit of a swipe to the winner if the Lee sweepstakes? Yes!
- A love of Yankee prospects? Yes!
- A quote from Jason Varitek? Yes!
- A potential trade that was deemed 100% false by no less than three of his colleagues only 24 hours prior? Yes!

And the best of all, three paragraphs that submarine his entire article's premise followed by a few paragraphs that blows that to smithereens. Nick Cafardo is the writing equivalent to the Triple Lindy.

I don't know whether I have Stockholm Syndrome or whether his writing has entered into the "so bad, it's fucking awesome" realm, but I have to say, I had more fun reading this article than I probably should have. This was a tour-de-force, Nick Cafardo write-by-numbers that you NEED to read in order to believe. Give the man some clicks, folks! This won't last long.

 

[JohntheBaptist]

Our best newspaper buddy is a little bit sad that the Yankees didn't get Cliff Lee.

But that didn't stop him from gutting out a Wednesday piece that would have fit in perfectly on a Sunday:

- Blind quote? Yes!
- Rhetorical question? Yes!
- Made-up possible transactions? Yes!
- Over value of former Boston stars? Yes!
- Dire warning to Sox fans? Yes!
- A little bit of a swipe to the winner if the Lee sweepstakes? Yes!
- A love of Yankee prospects? Yes!
- A quote from Jason Varitek? Yes!
- A potential trade that was deemed 100% false by no less than three of his colleagues only 24 hours prior? Yes!

And the best of all, three paragraphs that submarine his entire article's premise followed by a few paragraphs that blows that to smithereens. Nick Cafardo is the writing equivalent to the Triple Lindy.

I don't know whether I have Stockholm Syndrome or whether his writing has entered into the "so bad, it's fucking awesome" realm, but I have to say, I had more fun reading this article than I probably should have. This was a tour-de-force, Nick Cafardo write-by-numbers that you NEED to read in order to believe. Give the man some clicks, folks! This won't last long.

It was like the Perfect Storm of Nick columns.

"You're going to read that Cafardo column JMOH linked?"

"I am, it seems rough and I may get lost forever in there but that's the life I've chosen."

"Fuck it then, I'm with you. Let's go, let's just read it!"

"This is going to be hard on my boy."

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

JtB, I think that you have the wrong quote in your quote box, son.

 

[doc]

JtB, I think that you have the wrong quote in your quote box, son.

I think it works though.

 

[JohntheBaptist]

My box is always operational, doc.

 

[mt8thsw9th]

There really needs to be a Rubric for Cafardo columns.

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

There are plenty of women (and some men) who'd love to Rub Nick, MT8.

 

[DieHardSoxFan1]

There really needs to be a Rubric for Cafardo columns.

Ah, those E.E. Gammings column generators from yesteryear were epic. I bet the creative minds of the "Different Looks" thread, working in tandem, could concoct a worthy imitation. We'd do well by starting with hollow, nondescript quotes from JP Riccardi, anonymous AL GM's, MLB scouts and league executives; a rousing paragraph about Gary Sheffield's latest resurrection rife with platitudes ("gamer," "gritty," "recommitted"); a different look from Takahasi Saito; utterly and preposterously erroneous analysis of A.J. Pierzynski's value; and apropos about nothings concerning mall-walking and bearclaw donuts.

 

[Brianish]

Interesting bit from today's column on Wheeler:

He joins a Sox bullpen that last week added Bobby Jenks, who underwent a physical at Massachusetts General Hospital yesterday after agreeing to a two-year deal worth $12 million.

The problem, of course, is that Jenks didn't undergo a physical yesterday; it was moved to tomorrow. The way I know this is that it was reported yesterday by more than one outlet. I know this, just from hopping around on the internet. But Cafardo, a reporter, apparently didn't bother to check that a thing happened before saying so.

 

[wutang112878]

Cafardo, a reporter, apparently bother to check that a thing happened before saying so.

Another sad bit of fact checking:

to offer Mariano Rivera a three-year deal for $51 million

I had read we basically offered him a 2yr deal that was virtually the same as the Yankees offer, this is the first I have heard of a 3 year offer and Nick doesnt provide a source, acts as if its common knowledge.

 

[Brianish]

Yeah that caught my eye too, but it's possible (read: I hope) that he's just working off some different source. With Jenks, the only possible explanation is that he didn't bother to pick up the phone and say "Hey how'd Bobby's physical go?"

 

[snowmanny]

In his Apropos of Nothing section he makes the stand alone point that "No-Trade clauses mean absolutely nothing.". Which is a good point, amplified by Zach Greinke having just invoked his no-trade clause to veto a move to Washington.

 

[Omar's Wacky Neighbor]

In his Apropos of Nothing section he makes the stand alone point that "No-Trade clauses mean absolutely nothing.". Which is a good point, amplified by Zach Greinke having just invoked his no-trade clause to veto a move to Washington.

That was Nick's point: the exception proves the rule.

 

[wutang112878]

Yeah that caught my eye too, but it's possible (read: I hope) that he's just working off some different source.

Thats my thinking too, but I know its an implied journalism standard, but if you are stating a rumor that hasnt been reported too much elsewhere shouldnt you provide some source? Even if its just a lazy 'baseball executive' source

 

[Granite Sox]

Mall Man had this to say about the Greinke trade in Extra Bases:

Greinke also had Boston as one of the teams he couldn't be traded to.

The Red Sox had also pretty much run out players they could offer the Royals after sending three major prospects to San Diego for Adrian Gonzalez.

Yup... Sox have emptied out the farm system and don't have any talent left. All we had were Kelly, Rizzo, and Fuentes! More bridge years upcoming...

 

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

Gosh - almost two months between anyone being disgusted by Cafardo. Or, is it just that no one even reads the Baseball Notes column anymore? I think it's become something many of us don't even want to look at anymore because it's so depressing.

Today isn't much different - starting off with players who "need to step up," but about whom we learn exactly zero. Just that they were good, then they weren't as good, and now they need to be better, or, well, something bad might happen, or not. It's hard to say.

But the Pettitte portion is particularly awesome. Old friend Brian Sabean is called upon to comment, and he says some nice things about Pettitte. Well, Brian, do you think Andy will pitch again?

Asked whether he thought Pettitte would stay retired, Sabean said, “I haven’t been around Andy in a long time, so it wouldn’t be proper of me to comment on something like that. I heard he had retired, and you have to respect that decision.’’

So informative. I feel like an insider!

Maybe the best part is that you honestly can't tell if he called Sabean for a Pettitte quote and then decided to do a long Giants item, of if he called for an update on the World Series champs and thought, "oh, well, I might as well get a Pettitte quote." His record of arbitrary thought is too long and storied to make an educated guess.

Finally, JD Drew has been having hamstring issues all winter and might not be ready to go for spring training. Ho hum. Oh well.

 

[RedOctober3829]

Gosh - almost two months between anyone being disgusted by Cafardo. Or, is it just that no one even reads the Baseball Notes column anymore? I think it's become something many of us don't even want to look at anymore because it's so depressing.

It's gotten to this point with me. I don't even read what was the best column in sports journalism. I learn more from here and Twitter than the Globe. By a lot.

 

[ifmanis5]

Nick's Pettitte note was a textbook fail. Not only did he deliver no insight whatsoever, he managed to ignore the PED elephant in the room.

One thing that impressed Sabean was “how quickly he changed his body. He was a chunky kid and he learned right away that being in top physical shape was going to be beneficial to his career.

Gee, I wonder how he managed to do that, Nick?

 

[David Laurila]

Nick's Pettitte note was a textbook fail. Not only did he deliver no insight whatsoever, he managed to ignore the PED elephant in the room.



Gee, I wonder how he managed to do that, Nick?

To my knowledge, Pettitte has admitted to using HGH twice -- but not steroids -- to help recover from an injury. That was over a decade after the time period quoted in the article.

For all I know, Pettitte is the biggest steroid abuser in the history of sports, but isn't it a bit of a reach to assume he must have been using for all of those years, based on the evidence at hand?

 

[ifmanis5]

To my knowledge, Pettitte has admitted to using HGH twice -- but not steroids -- to help recover from an injury. That was over a decade after the time period quoted in the article.

For all I know, Pettitte is the biggest steroid abuser in the history of sports, but isn't it a bit of a reach to assume he must have been using for all of those years, based on the evidence at hand?

1. You're being very naive.
2. You're okay with Nick totally glossing over the drug use admission after the Sabean strength quote? Really?

 

[JimD]

Gosh - almost two months between anyone being disgusted by Cafardo. Or, is it just that no one even reads the Baseball Notes column anymore?

Bingo.

 

[Spacemans Bong]

1. You're being very naive.
2. You're okay with Nick totally glossing over the drug use admission after the Sabean strength quote? Really?

I'm ok with Nick glossing over the drug use admission because after some careful looks at his minor league baseball card and Dove commercial video (which has a ton of pictures of him before he was a Yankee) I don't know what the fuck Sabean's talking about.

I mean, he had some baby fat in high school, but he was never chunky.

 

[Van Everyman]

Nick Cafardo does not seem as if he'd be above citing a Dove commercial as a journalistic source.

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

I didn't get a chance to read the paper yesterday, so I'm catching up on the Baseball Notes column. Here is the stereotypical Cafardo paragraph:

Of the Yankees’ “Core Four,’’ Pettitte seemed unlikely to be the first to go. He has been considering this for some time, because he was missing out on his kids’ activities, but his skills haven’t diminished significantly. Nor have Mariano Rivera’s, for that matter.

I can not wrap my head around this, so I'm going to write out myself: of the four Yankees, Pettitte didn't seem like the one to retire first, though he has been thinking about leaving for some time and he misses his kids. On the other hand, his skills haven't diminished, but neither has Rivera's. As bad as sports writer as Cafardo is, he'd be a worse weatherman: "See all of these clouds to our west? They're filled with snow and has blanketed the midwest with the white, fluffy stuff and it's on it will be in Boston within 24 hours. But tomorrow is going to be unseasonably warm for February in Massachusetts, at least 98 degrees!"

And like someone said, to completely ignore the PED thing? That's just dumb and, surprise, lousy writing and reporting.

Brian Sabean: tinkers too much?

“I think we’ve done that with [Miguel] Tejada at shortstop, and we’ll have Mark DeRosa back to compete for playing time and we’ll have Cody Ross for a full season and Buster Posey is with us from the start.

So you replaced the shortstop that left with another shortstop and that's it? Sabean is mad I tell you. MAD! Most GMs would leave the shortstop position vacant for the year so they could sleep at night and not be accused of tinkering.

This is a perfect Cafardo quote from our buddy Sabean:

“You just never know how things are going to go and happen,’’ Sabean said. “You make decisions and hope they work out. They don’t always, but hopefully we can get back out there and compete for the things we won last season.’’

Yup, that will fill a few inches of space on Sunday. Golden Corale is calling, motherfuckers.

Apropos of nothing

Fish? Barrel? Meet my uzi.

4. Michael Young, DH, Rangers — One thing hindering a trade is the remaining three years at $48 million on his contract. The Rangers are content to keep Young, a terrific hitter and consummate team player, but if they can find a suitor, one longtime scout said, “The Rangers would move him, because as he gets older, he becomes more of a liability in the field and he’s making a lot of money to be a DH.’’

The Rangers love this guy, if they could they would field a team of 25 Michael Youngs! Just an awesome player and man. However, this is only until they can find a sucker to take him and his stupid contract off their hands. And he can't field. And he makes way too much money. Other than that, all aces!

Blanton, who is a bulldog but may not be the best fit in the AL East.

Blanton's a bull dog! Tough as nails! Destroys every line up he comes across! But not in the American League East. He's a fucking pussy when he sees the uniforms of the Rays, Red Sox, Blue Jays or Orioles. Yankees could get him, though they might not. Who knows?

All I know is that Nick Cafardo is the worst baseball writer in the world. And that includes Murray Chass.

 

[Smiling Joe Hesketh]

Chass is a blogger now. And I wish someone would tell him that, because he'd then kill himself in shame and we'd be free of his stupidity.

 

[joyofsox]

Chass actually has an explanation on his blog about why his blog is not a blog.

About This Site

This is a site for baseball columns, not for baseball blogs. The proprietor of the site is not a fan of blogs. He made that abundantly clear on a radio show with Charley Steiner when Steiner asked him what he thought of blogs and he replied, “I hate blogs.” ...

Bloggers, however, are welcome to visit this site; so are stats freaks, fantasy leaguers and Red Sox fans. How else will they know what is being said about them by a columnist they love to hate?

Otherwise, this site will most likely appeal primarily to older fans whose interest in good old baseball is largely ignored in this day of young bloggers who know it all, and new-fangled statistics (VORP, for one excuse-me example), which are drowning the game in numbers and making people forget that human beings, not numbers, play the games. ...

&

From Beyond the Box Score:

When Passing Judgment on a Contract, You Should Show Your Work
by BillPetti on Feb 6, 2011 1:30 PM

Via Metsblog, Nick Cafardo of the Boston Globe discusses various players that have underachieved or not lived up to their contract. One example, he cites, is Mets outfielder Carlos Beltran. Of Beltran, he writes:

Carlos Beltran, OF, Mets — Injuries have slowed Beltran, who didn’t live up to the seven-year, $119 million deal he signed with the Mets. They tried to deal the final year of the contract this offseason, and the Sox would have been a taker had they not pulled off the Crawford signing. Beltran will be 34 April 24, and if he wants a career beyond this contract, he’ll have to show he can be productive with two balky knees. He will likely be the Mets’ cleanup hitter.

Claim: Beltran hasn't lived up to his contract.

Evidence Provided: None.

I have no problem with the opinion that Beltran hasn't lived up to his contract, but you have to provide some evidence.

Through 2010, Beltran has been paid $95,982,346 by the Mets.

According to FanGraphs, he's produced $105,400,000 worth of value as a Met.

For those following at home, that's a net gain of about $9.5M.

Now, I could be wrong in terms of how I am evaluating Beltran's contract, but I showed my work.

This should be mandatory.

 

[templeUsox]

AoN:

5. Lenny DiNardo looks like a linebacker.

What?

 

[ifmanis5]

Nick's reliance on anonymous quotes is absurd.

As one general manager said, “Sometimes you just need camp depth, and along the way you can get lucky."

How would identifying the mystery GM hurt in the above example? Not exactly giving away state secrets there.

 

[Spacemans Bong]

Chass is a blogger now. And I wish someone would tell him that, because he'd then kill himself in shame and we'd be free of his stupidity.

Tom Verducci did, in an awesome backhanded catty fashion.

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

Nick's reliance on anonymous quotes is absurd

Aside from his piece on Prior, he didn't have one attributed quote today. They were all blind.

BTW, his glossing over of Prior's arm getting blown out in his first few years is ridiculous. It is a huge reason why the careers of Kerry Wood and Mark Prior are in the toilet. If he doesn't understand that, then he's just terrible at his job.

 

[Rough Carrigan]

He is lousy at his job. But John Tomase gives him a run for his money.

Here's a quote from Tomase's piece on Clay Buchholz in the Sunday Herald:

The expectations are understandably high for Buchholz after he posted one of the great out-of-nowhere seasons in team annals.

That's either inexcusably bad writing or inexcusable ignorance on Tomase's part. Maybe both!
2010 was the season people had been waiting/hoping Buchholz would have since late 2007 when he threw a no hitter. All his minor league work said he might have something like that in him. Scouts all said his stuff was incredible. How was that out of nowhere?!

God I hate lazy and/or ignorant writing by the people who over and over justify themselves by telling us they're our eyes and ears. Really? Then apparently we should all learn sign language and braille because it's fucking hopeless.

Clyde Vollmer 1951 was out of nowhere. Tom Bolton in, what was it, 1990, was out of nowhere. Clay Buchholz 2010 was fulfilling promise shown at many times and in many ways.

 

[Wilco's Last Fan]

I thought his note that the Sox would go after a 1B if Gonzalez isn't ready by Opening Day was interesting. He didn't give any indication that he wouldn't be ready, just that it would be "silly to rush him." Even if he isn't ready, why is he so sure we'd go after a first basemen to fill the short-term void? Couldn't we just slide Youk into 1B and plug Lowrie in at 3B for a few games?

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

I forgot about the blurb about Nick Swisher's agent getting "screwed over" by Swisher. I would guarantee that guy is one of Cafardo's moles and he feels that he has to protect him. Because otherwise, who gives a shit?

 

[mt8thsw9th]

AoN:

What?

The linebacker is a defensive player in the National Football League. Nick thinks he looks like one.

 

[templeUsox]

Lenny Dinardo is a skinny white guy.

 

[weeba]

Not anymore it seems

 

[The Talented Allen Ripley]

We can all be the judge.

 

[mt8thsw9th]

I wish I was as "skinny" as Dinardo.

 

[ifmanis5]

Not anymore it seems

In tribute to this thread, Lenny is giving us a different look.

 

[Smiling Joe Hesketh]

Not that this will surprise anyone, but the Baseball notes section today was utter banal trash. Not a single insight or interesting news item. A new nadir for Nick.

 

[RedOctober3829]

Not that this will surprise anyone, but the Baseball notes section today was utter banal trash. Not a single insight or interesting news item. A new nadir for Nick.

Every manager is a "baseball man" and "gets the most out of his players". What a joke. Also, his latest tweet:

nickcafardo
Beckett popping the mitt

 

[MyDaughterLovesTomGordon]

Did you hear? Gary Sheffield is retired.

 

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

You mean you didn't love the random order of managers? So sublime.

 

[pedros hairstylist]

Hai!

We can all be the judge.