NHL asks Marchand to stop licking people

fiskful of dollars

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Can you imagine if this happened to you at your workplace?

"Hey FoD, we'd be obliged if you would cease and desist from licking people in the office.

Thank you for your kind attention to this matter.
The Management"
 

cshea

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Not so fast says Marchand.


Edit: I think Cassidy said he hadn’t heard anything about it either. Wonder if Sweeney got a call and then didn’t pass it along haha.
 

burstnbloom

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The hockey world is losing its collective mind over this. Yes, it's gross. Yes, it's pretty weird, also, but all the moralizing and faux outrage over this is hilarious. What a world,.
 

Reardon's Beard

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What a joke. They persecute the guy, don't call anything legitimate his way ever, and expect him to just keep taking cheap shots without doing anything about it.

Hearing all these "tough guys" wig out over it is beyond hysterical.

Fuck the league office, fuck the officials, and fuck Tampa. Let's do this.
 

Haunted

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I think it’s hilarious too.


But f the nhl for putting a stop to something goofy and harmless but whatever you do don’t try to improve horrendous officiating.
 

RetractableRoof

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I'm seriously old school - I don't want to be embarrassed by the players I root for. I get the why, and I still think it's way over the line of decent sportsmanship. I'd prefer it never happened at all, let alone having to be told to knock it off.

I wonder if his antics have contributed in any way to the refereeing issues the Bruins are experiencing. I'm not saying it is intentional bias, but maybe it is having an affect.
 

PC Drunken Friar

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Is it? I think it was Feits from Barstool who said it best, but there is nothing he could do that would be funnier to me.
If Barstool thinks it's the funniest thing ever, there probably isn't a place for it in the game.

Really, there is not much difference at all between licking a face and spitting in it. If he were on any other team and they did this to a Bruin, you would be enraged (and rightfully so).

We all bitch and moan here that Marchand gets the shaft when it comes to on the ice calls and when the league disciplines him. But the rep is well deserved. He is a dirty ass player. He needs to stop it.
 

kenneycb

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Is it gross? Sure. Is it funny? Yes. Spitting in someone’s face is a sign of disrespect in humanity and has been for a long time. Licking someone’s face does not have that association in the slightest. Part of it is I also don’t really care about stupid shit like this anymore.

But Barstool so he’s the worst. Love that as an argument ended. And I say that as someone who personally dislikes Feits from the times I have actually hung out with him.
 

kenneycb

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Yeah on the spectrum of shit I give a fuck about, this is pretty low. It doesn’t hurt anyone and at worst embarrasses a couple people. The shame. The NHL reaction makes it even better. Big whoop.
 

genoasalami

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Fellas, come the fuck on. It's pretty fucking gross, and pretty fucking dumb.
If Marchand wasn't a Bruin, what's the O/U on the number of posts here calling him scum/lowlife/tool/dirtbag/douchebag/someone needs to take him out? 50? 100?
 

JimBoSox9

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Christ, four days out of five I'd be pissed if my girlfriend tried to lick me, even in similarly adversarial circumstances.
 

PedroSpecialK

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The only reason to give a shit is if Marchand's behavior is influencing the standard for officiating in this series.

If it is (and it certainly seems to be), that's on the league 100%. Introduce a penalty like you did with Avery, or get the NHLOA in line and start calling penalties based on what's actually a fucking penalty.
 

Ed Hillel

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How can anyone look at this and not laugh?
ImageUploadedBySons of Sam Horn1525567168.317127.jpg

Marchand is a piece of shit and would be fair to consider dirty. This is dumb, but it’s very low on the scale of bad shit he’s done. The flying elbow to the head a couple month ago was 10,000 times worse, for example. This is like a wet willie, not spitting in someone’s face.
 
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PC Drunken Friar

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How can anyone look at this and not laugh?
View attachment 20885

Marchand is a piece of shit and would be fair to consider dirty. This is dumb, but it’s very low on the scale of bad shit he’s done. The flying elbow to the head a couple month ago was 10,000 times worse, for example. This is like a wet willie, not spitting in someone’s face.
It's funny in a Holy Shit that's disgusting kind of way (hello barstool!!!!) but come the fuck on... That behavior is reprehensible. I can't believe anyone can defend it. And given his history of dirty play.
 

Ed Hillel

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It's funny in a Holy Shit that's disgusting kind of way (hello barstool!!!!) but come the fuck on... That behavior is reprehensible. I can't believe anyone can defend it. And given his history of dirty play.
His history of dirty play speaks for itself. He is a complete asshole.

But people calling the licking “reprehensible...” I mean whatever. Nobody’s getting CTE from his tongue. He’ll get suspended if he does it again and that will be that.
 

PC Drunken Friar

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His history of dirty play speaks for itself. He is a complete asshole.

But people calling the licking “reprehensible...” I mean whatever. Nobody’s getting CTE from his tongue. He’ll get suspended if he does it again and that will be that.
Yes, in this instance, I think licking someone's face is literally the definition of reprehensible.
 

JimBoSox9

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Yes, in this instance, I think licking someone's face is literally the definition of reprehensible.
It's almost like physical harm isn't the end-all, be-all of reprehensibleness. Absolutely right, it's not on the level of giving a guy CTE with a high elbow. That ain't our societal go/no go barrier.
 

Marciano490

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It’s gross as hell. When I bounced, the one thing I was always afraid of and told the manager I’d lose my shit over was getting someone’s saliva on me. Doesn’t matter if it’s launched or directly applied. It’s nasty and childish and if it was on a woman would be assault, so why is it different here.
 

Stanley Steamer

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Don Cherry not too upset by the licking or kissing, but links the other missed calls this series to showing up the refs. Not sure I agree, but he is Don Cherry.
 

PC Drunken Friar

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It’s gross as hell. When I bounced, the one thing I was always afraid of and told the manager I’d lose my shit over was getting someone’s saliva on me. Doesn’t matter if it’s launched or directly applied. It’s nasty and childish and if it was on a woman would be assault, so why is it different here.
Exactly. It's so gross and intimate that the only reason he does it is that the victim punches him and gets a penalty.

Is that not his reasoning? The next step is, during a face off, is to grad a crotch or taint.
 

kenneycb

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It’s gross as hell. When I bounced, the one thing I was always afraid of and told the manager I’d lose my shit over was getting someone’s saliva on me. Doesn’t matter if it’s launched or directly applied. It’s nasty and childish and if it was on a woman would be assault, so why is it different here.
Because everything that happens in hockey is assault. So that’s a stupid analogy.
 

lexrageorge

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The best thing one can say about the licking is that it is totally pointless and unnecessary. OK, we all got a good laugh at it when it happened the first time. Now, it's time for Brad to be an adult and keep his tongue out of the play.
 

Ed Hillel

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Exactly. It's so gross and intimate that the only reason he does it is that the victim punches him and gets a penalty.

Is that not his reasoning? The next step is, during a face off, is to grad a crotch or taint.
Cup checks happen all the time. I don’t see hockey fans lose their shit on half the level as this. That’s whacking someone right in the dick and balls with a stick.
 
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PC Drunken Friar

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Cup checks happen all the time. I don’t see hockey fans lose their shit on half the level as this. That’s whacking someone right in the dick and balls with a stick.
Please show your work. It doesn't happen all the time, as blatantly as this. Also, when a cup check is that obvious, a penalty is called. I honestly don't know how people can defend him here.
 

kenneycb

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Please show your work. It doesn't happen all the time, as blatantly as this. Also, when a cup check is that obvious, a penalty is called. I honestly don't know how people can defend him here.
Given it’s a few years old but Dan DeKeyser and Milan Lucic disagree. Hard to get more obvious than that one.

Edit: There’s also plenty of non-obvious ball play that happens in scrums. Which may be my favorite sentence I’ve ever written here.
 
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IdiotKicker

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Of course it’s gross. That’s the point. You’re trying to freak people on the other team out to draw a real penalty or make them think about it so they forget their responsibilities and so dumb crap. But you’re trying to do so in a way that isn’t actually dangerous or hurting anyone in any way.

In soccer, I used to pick out the best player on the other team, and starting at the beginning of the game, every time I ran by him, I’d tug his shorts down a couple inches. Or maybe grab his ass quickly. It’s small enough that the refs don’t notice, but over the course of the game, I’d end up with people taking shots at me that left our team with some pretty good situations, or the guy would end up mentally out of it because he was trying to avoid me. I’d gladly squeeze every guy’s ass on that field if it gave us a chance at set pieces that could win the game.
 

koufax32

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In soccer, I used to pick out the best player on the other team, and starting at the beginning of the game, every time I ran by him, I’d tug his shorts down a couple inches. Or maybe grab his ass quickly. It’s small enough that the refs don’t notice, but over the course of the game, I’d end up with people taking shots at me that left our team with some pretty good situations, or the guy would end up mentally out of it because he was trying to avoid me. I’d gladly squeeze every guy’s ass on that field if it gave us a chance at set pieces that could win the game.
Or you could just outplay your opponent.

This is what the rest of the planet refers to as being a jackass.
 

IdiotKicker

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Or you could just outplay your opponent.

This is what the rest of the planet refers to as being a jackass.
When I was 17, we played against a team that had Charlie Davies on it. Davies ended up on the US national team for a few years before a terrible car accident nearly ended his career. In our league's 15 game season, he ended up scoring 30 goals that year, which I believe is still the league record, and had 101 goals in 60 career games in high school before scoring a bunch at BC before turning pro.

I man-marked him the whole game and held him scoreless except for a free kick he put in on someone else's penalty. And yeah, I pulled his shorts pretty much the whole game, I told him he wasn't as fast as his tape looked, and I dropped a shoulder into his chest and put him on his ass for a yellow card when he tried to flip a rainbow over me in the second half because none of his other shit was working. So if you want to refer to it as being a jackass, you're more than welcome to. But I can hang my hat knowing that I defended someone who scored four goals at the international level and over 50 goals at the professional level, but he couldn't score on me, and I have no doubt that I took him somewhat out of his game by making him a little uncomfortable.
 

Eddie Jurak

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When I was 17, we played against a team that had Charlie Davies on it. Davies ended up on the US national team for a few years before a terrible car accident nearly ended his career. In our league's 15 game season, he ended up scoring 30 goals that year, which I believe is still the league record, and had 101 goals in 60 career games in high school before scoring a bunch at BC before turning pro.

I man-marked him the whole game and held him scoreless except for a free kick he put in on someone else's penalty. And yeah, I pulled his shorts pretty much the whole game, I told him he wasn't as fast as his tape looked, and I dropped a shoulder into his chest and put him on his ass for a yellow card when he tried to flip a rainbow over me in the second half because none of his other shit was working. So if you want to refer to it as being a jackass, you're more than welcome to. But I can hang my hat knowing that I defended someone who scored four goals at the international level and over 50 goals at the professional level, but he couldn't score on me, and I have no doubt that I took him somewhat out of his game by making him a little uncomfortable.
Just out of curiosity, where is the line for you? What type of stuff would you consider unacceptable?