Interpersonal player battles/bullying

BroodsSexton

Member
SoSH Member
Feb 4, 2006
12,630
guam
Can I ask you how you decided on the new team? Having been burned once, we are now twice shy, with two teams potentially in play.
Convenience, mainly. We also looked for a team that had a dedicated, paid non-parent coach leading the way or at least as a regular assistant. Someone who knew what he was doing and wasn’t just putting a particular kid (ie the head coach’s kid) in position to shine.
 

Just a bit outside

Member
SoSH Member
Apr 6, 2011
7,940
Monument, CO
Can I ask you how you decided on the new team? Having been burned once, we are now twice shy, with two teams potentially in play.
I had my kid change teams as well. One thing I would add in choosing a team is to try and have friends on the team. That is not always possible but would certainly be a factor in my decision.
 

wade boggs chicken dinner

Member
SoSH Member
Mar 26, 2005
30,504
Update: Tryouts for next season were this week. Guess who is the only kid who didn't get asked back? Not even to the B team.

Fortunately, we had him try out for another club and he made that team. He has another tryout this week for a third team. Both these other teams play in the same division. So he/we will likely have options.

Personally, I'm mad at myself (and the team) because I feel fairly certain that he wasn't asked back because his parents deigned to challenge the administration about the bullying. It's clearly not the on the field play over the season. I only started tracking GAA in the last 3 games since the Spring season started, but in those 3 games, with exactly equal playing time (one half for each goalie in each game), my son allowed 0, 1, and 1 (2 total). The other kid allowed 1, 2, and 2 (5 total). My son punts better by a significant margin and they are about equal in the other areas. My son was on time or early for every game and practice (except one); the other kid is regularly late (I think one time since March, did the other kid beat my son to practice or a game).

My biggest fear going forward is that he will take this whole thing personally and not want to play anymore.
I know it's in the parents job description that we have to beat ourselves up but hopefully you won't be too hard on yourself. You definitely did the right thing and I echo the comments below that it's likely going to end up for the best. And if his old team would rather have a shitty keeper, that's on them.

The only thing I would suggest is that if you haven't done it yet, at some point in the future - probably after you choose your next club - you talk to your son about doing the right thing does not always lead to immediately gratifying results. But he's still got to do the right thing anyways.

As for picking travel teams, the first team we picked for my son (soccer) was because he had friends on the team and we have stuck with them and the second team we picked (VB) was just for convenience. Maybe you could ask the two teams you are choosing if you could talk to some parents?

Do both of the two new teams have training programs for keepers?