I made a ruling

soxfan121

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In response to repeated pressure by someone who is not my future father-in-law, and to appease the general need by forum regulars to know my rooting affiliation, I am happy to announce I have found a club. VIVA TOON!!!
 
A couple words on the process: 
1. The Newcastle thread is the most consistently entertaining in the forum. There is a distinct lack of wankers who take themselves and this football thing too seriously, or lack a sense of humor/basic humanity. 
 
2. Seven Costanza left a nice, warm seat on the bandwagon when he knuckled under to his FIL even though he was already banging the guy's daughter. So...let him go "root" for the Yacht Club, their unlimited gluttony and their Dark Lord. 
 
3. I fit in with Fat Geordies. Like, if not for the tattoo and the necklace, this could be me. 
 
4. The club being such a sad sack losers and constantly in turmoil reminds me of my youth when the Patriots and Red Sox were sad sack losers, embarrassments and constantly in turmoil. Ahh...feels like a comfy pair of slippers, covered in dry dog puke and dried tears. 
 
5. This: 

 
Feel free to now use the low-hanging fruit of "Newcastle sucks" when trying to refute my points about why your club and/or fans A.) suck and B.) suck some more. 
 
Fuck you (Arsenal), fuck you (Chelsea), fuck you (Man City), fuck you (Liverpool), fuck you (ManU), you're cool (Everton), fuck you (Spurs). I'm out.
 

Morgan's Magic Snowplow

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Bravo. It takes a brave (and masochistic) soul to join the Toon Army right now.  But at least you'll still have a soul, which would no longer have been the case if the Dark Lord had won you over for good.
 

Joe D Reid

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We'll be kind and skip the traditional welcome among Toon army members: http://youtu.be/5FtcBH30DmM
 

SoxFanInCali

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soxfan121 said:
The Newcastle thread is the most consistently entertaining in the forum. There is a distinct lack of wankers who take themselves and this football thing too seriously, or lack a sense of humor/basic humanity. 
That's because they have been beaten down over the last couple of years. The one season they were halfway decent they were just as big (word we can't use anymore) as the rest of us.
 

soxfan121

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SoxFanInCali said:
That's because they have been beaten down over the last couple of years. The one season they were halfway decent they were just as big (word we can't use anymore) as the rest of us.
 
Unlike the Liverpool thread, which has been chock fulla cunts even when you sucked. 
 
We TOON FAITHFUL are just better people, I guess. ;-)
 
(how am I doing? this is all still kinda new)
 

soxfan121

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SoxFanInCali said:
You still need some work. That post didn't sound fat and drunk enough.
 
It's early. I think it's plenty fat enough but drunk enough has to wait until later. Or Saturday.
 

coremiller

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So the upshot here is an increase in the amount of abuse on this forum directed at Newcastle supporters?  Don't they have it bad enough already?  Leave these poor people alone.
 

smastroyin

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I had to do a lot of business travel to Newcastle back in the day.  
 
I have been to the Tyne-Wear derby, albeit in Sunderland as that is where it was that year.  I have also been to St. James Park, but there was no match on.
 
I was just barely young enough in my days of traveling there that drinking age college girls were fair game.  Because of the University, Newcastle has plenty of them and they come out in droves.  Except when there is a NUFC match on, when they all stay home because they don't want to be ignored most of the night only to end up in the middle of drunk brawling idiots (win or lose).  
 
You can take from that what you will.  I cheered for NUFC because of my buddies there, but at the same time, anything that makes the girls go away when you are out on the town on an expense account sucks balls.  Or doesn't, as the case may be.
 

Infield Infidel

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SoxFanInCali said:
Seven thought he was buying low, too.
 
Then came relegation...
 
I won't lie, I thoroughly enjoyed the season in Championship. It's like what Norm MacDonald said about going bankrupt gambling. The cup of coffee after losing it all is the best tasting cup there is. That season was the cup of coffee. Nowhere to go but up.
 

soxfan121

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DLew On Roids said:
121, are we doing the cricket thing again for Champions League T20?  
 
Oh hell yes DLew. Trident pride. Let me know when. I'm going to try and take in a match or exhibition when I'm on vacation down there in March.
 
Stanley Steamer said:
Congrats, soxfan. Is that a picture of your new father in law up top? I mean, you had to have been forced into this, right?
 
1. Thanks.
2. No.
3. Zomp is not my father-in-law.
 

mgoblue2

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I'm so so sorry soxfan. If I were you I'd start researching Pardew replacements and trying not to weep openly.
 

Dummy Hoy

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Infield Infidel said:
 
I won't lie, I thoroughly enjoyed the season in Championship. It's like what Norm MacDonald said about going bankrupt gambling. The cup of coffee after losing it all is the best tasting cup there is. That season was the cup of coffee. Nowhere to go but up.
 
Plenty of places to go below the Championship.
 

Turrable

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haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
 
Am I really the only single guy left having one night stands with whoever is currently kicking ass on playstation
 
I mean not that I post here much but just know that I'm always laughing at all of your teams
 

soxfan121

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Turrable said:
Am I really the only single guy left having one night stands with whoever is currently kicking ass on playstation
 
To be fair, I was doing that with your mom twenty years ago. Son.
 

Turrable

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I've played my mom in Madden I promise you she has never kicked anyone's ass on playstation
 

Zomp

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soxfan121 said:
 
Oh hell yes DLew. Trident pride. Let me know when. I'm going to try and take in a match or exhibition when I'm on vacation down there in March.
 
 
1. Thanks.
2. No.
3. Zomp is not my father-in-law.
 
Though that picture up top accurately portrays some of sosh's finest posters, I assure you I am in better shape than that
 

DennyDoyle'sBoil

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Infield Infidel said:
Also, way to buy low.
This market has no floor.

Back when their rivals hired a fascist, I started to develop a soft spot for NUFC, because, well, fuck fascists. But he didn't stick around long enough for me to work up any proper feelings about the situation. And I figured when an absolute shit club hires a fascist who can't manage his way out of a paper bag, but the one thing he does right in three months is demolish your club in a derby, that's probably a sign your club is worth staying clear of.

Also, if I'm going to follow a club, I like to think I might go to their grounds one day. I'm not saying I expect bright sunshine anywhere in the U.K., but I'd prefer a place with less than an 85 percent chance of nonstop drizzly with a side of shitty.
 

singaporesoxfan

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I've visited St James' Park, which I enjoyed. But the Geordie accent is dang near impenetrable, and I spent a good chunk of time studying dialects of English. So be prepared for bewilderment when you do visit.

My big memory of Newcastle is drunken people pouring out of pubs on very steep sloping streets. Seemed like a recipe for chaos.

Here's my favourite Newcastle football moment:

 

doldmoose34

impregnated Melissa Theuriau
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singaporesoxfan said:
I've visited St James' Park, which I enjoyed. But the Geordie accent is dang near impenetrable, and I spent a good chunk of time studying dialects of English. So be prepared for bewilderment when you do visit.

My big memory of Newcastle is drunken people pouring out of pubs on very steep sloping streets. Seemed like a recipe for chaos.

Here's my favourite Newcastle football moment:

In the old days of sosh the JMOH face would already be photoshoped