Coaching Girls vs Coaching Boys

Heinie Wagner

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I've coached a bunch of boys basketball, rec, travel, AAU, even helped out with High School.
 
I've helped my wife out just a little with our daughter's team. I'm probably going to take over that role from her next year, my wife has had her fill of dealing with parent issues. They will be 8th graders playing on a town travel team.
 
I know the athleticism will be different. I expect the girls to be more attentive listeners. I know boys are generally better at creating their own shots.
 
For anyone who has coached girls, what are the major differences between coaching girls vs boys? Different ways to motivate them? Different learning styles? Basketball specific or just generally about coaching girls, I'm all ears (and a little scared).
 
 
 

TheRooster

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At the risk of generalizing, the girls tend to lack confidence and can get freaked out when things go wrong.  The boys at that age tend to be over-confident (at least outwardly).  I just wrapped up my fourth season of 7th/8th grade girls and they are great but certainly more fragile/sensitive.  For 90% of the girls I spend most of my time pumping them up and getting them to focus on the next play.
 

behindthepen

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When I first started coaching my daughter, my motivation was to help these girls build self-confidence.  After about 1/4 of the season, I realized my concern about self-confidence was misplaced.  Very misplaced.
 
Maybe it depends on the town or the sport.  I coached boys and girls teams in hockey.  On average, the girls listen more.  On average, they pass more.  They may cry a little more after a big loss.  But confidence, motivation, poise, skill were not things that were missing.  Selfishness either.  While I always found more good passers on my girls teams, I had a couple of puck-hogs who haven't kicked that habit as they moved into high school.
 
Frankly, unless you have a  bunch of girly-girls (which since it's travel I doubt you do),  if you treat girls differently they probably won't like you.  Maybe you have to push a little harder to get them out of their comfort zones, but practice the same way as with boys, and expect them to play hard during games.
 
Maybe the one real difference is that you have to be more aware of non-verbal cues.  I had some girls mope over playing time, or who their linemates where.  I know my daughter isn't as communicative as she needs to be with her varsity coach, but she still has strong opinions.
 
Oh, and like all kids, they really don't like getting yelled at.
 

Heinie Wagner

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Thanks for the replies.  
 
I don't yell at kids, I'm a big believer in the Positive Coaching Alliance, the Changing the Game Project and that sort of thing. I played a lot of sports and saw many players who could not perform under guys that yelled and continue to see this. There is also a ton of research in sports and outside of sports that support this. I feel sorry for kids who have to endure coaches who negatively yell at them.
 
I'm going to read: Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends and the New Realities of Girl World
This group definitely has a Queen Bee that half the team follows and if the 7th grade boys team was practicing in the same building or watching one of their games, that same half of the team was useless.

 
 

Dummy Hoy

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Jul 22, 2006
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I'd also look at Dawn Redd's website- she's got some great thoughts and resources on coaching girls.
 
Someone once suggested to me that the biggest difference between coaching girls and boys is that if you tell a locker room full of players that people aren't playing well, the boys all think it's everyone else and the girls all think it's them. Obviously not 100%, but I thought it was a good description. Overall, you can coach them just as you would the boys.
 
I think girls teams need to get along to be truly successful...if you can get them to all buy in and trust each other, it's a very very powerful motivator for them. Not everyone needs to be besties, but when they're all pulling for each other, it's magic. I have spent more time than I wanted on team dynamics, but it pays off.
 

Heinie Wagner

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Dummy Hoy said:
I'd also look at Dawn Redd's website- she's got some great thoughts and resources on coaching girls.
 
Someone once suggested to me that the biggest difference between coaching girls and boys is that if you tell a locker room full of players that people aren't playing well, the boys all think it's everyone else and the girls all think it's them. Obviously not 100%, but I thought it was a good description. Overall, you can coach them just as you would the boys.
 
I think girls teams need to get along to be truly successful...if you can get them to all buy in and trust each other, it's a very very powerful motivator for them. Not everyone needs to be besties, but when they're all pulling for each other, it's magic. I have spent more time than I wanted on team dynamics, but it pays off.
 
From what I saw from this group the last two years, they don't trust each other. Parent issues contributed to that big time.
 
This past season, my wife and I would run very similar practices, I had 5th grade boys, she had 7th grade girls. Same offense (Read and React) same way of teaching man to man defense, same out of bounds plays, press breaker, more similar than different, we even had the teams scrimmage each other a few times.  Huge difference in results between the two teams. I think the "buy in" was the biggest difference. I've always had an easy time getting that from boys and their parents. I'm hoping I can get girls to trust me (that kind of sounds creepy) as easily as I do boys.
 
The social dynamics seem so different to me, like when a tall, athletic, good looking guy walks into a party, all the guys want to find out who he is and have a beer with him, when a tall, gorgeous woman walks into the same place, all the women there hate her.
 

Dummy Hoy

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Well, I'm not saying it's easy.  :lol:  Like I said, I always put a ton of time/energy/research into getting the team dynamic as good as possible...it's a continuous process throughout the season, and can change year to year depending on the team. I'm not saying you need that cohesion to win, but if you get it, it'll add a significant bump to your team- they'll run through walls for each other.
 
I think there's always going to be that social dynamic with girls teams. If they enjoy being with each other and enjoy their time at practice and at games, the wins and losses don't seem to matter as much. Even the most competitive kids can enjoy a season on a losing team if the team is run well. I had a squad with a girl who later played D1, with only 3-4 other kids who could really play. We got killed most games, but she ended up having a lot of fun (her dad was pissy, but that's parents for you), because I made sure to focus on getting her to buy in to the team dynamic and getting everyone else to welcome her with open arms.
 
Boys are neanderthals with their only focus being winning. I despised one of my captains in high school (speaking of neanderthals), but advocated the coaching staff to reinstate him as captain after they stripped the C from him for off ice stuff. I hated the kid, but we needed him playing at full capacity in order to win. 
 
All of this is way more art than science...
 

behindthepen

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Heinie Wagner said:
 
I'm going to read: Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends and the New Realities of Girl World
This group definitely has a Queen Bee that half the team follows and if the 7th grade boys team was practicing in the same building or watching one of their games, that same half of the team was useless.
 
 
oh man, I had one of those.  It was pretty bad with hockey because she dominated the locker room dynamic, which we obviously couldn't manage, and loved getting on the ice after practice had already started.  And she was a decent player, so all the parents pumped her tires, which made it even worse.
 
I did find that she needed to have one or two other enablers around her to get her queen bee on, so maybe keeping her separated from those types during drills will help.
 

Heinie Wagner

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Different dynamic with this "Queen Bee", she's a team player, really good kid, does everything her coach has asked, where it creates a problem is the players who follow her constantly seek her approval, for example they'll attempt a difficult skip pass to her rather than passing to an open teammate one pass away.  Of they'll freeze out the other top player, like she's a threat to their Queen.  When the Queen has a bad day, it's like the ones who follow her don't even try, lest they make the Queen look bad I guess.
 
All this carries through off the court too, where with boys, you can have them at each other's throats in practice, then afterwards, they'll all pal around, like they weren't just trying to kill each other.
 

riboflav

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I've coached at the varsity level both girls and boys...
 
Girls:
 
Coaching is way more important - everything is below the rim and way more team-oriented. Know your schemes - in fact, know every scheme that exists. Everything will be thrown at you. The junkiest defenses you can imagine and you better know how to beat them because your girls won't have a clue. This is especially true for AAU.
They take everything literally. I'd advise against spot training. If you say stand there, they'll stand there with imaginary nails in their shoes and just allow themselves to be defended.
They don't watch basketball. You can't explain or teach the PnR by referring to Steve Nash. Who the hell is that?
They tend to listen better.
Give more effort.
Play defense - like for real.
They want to win more for their coach and their parents than themselves. It's important that the coach bonds with them.
Pep talks ala Braveheart are not very effective. Pride, ego, honor - means nothing.
Too selfless with the ball at times
More concerned of being ostracized by teammates
Don't call bigs, bigs.
Bullying is more prevalent (but not the norm thankfully)
Tend to compete with ferocity during games but get over losses very soon after the game ends
Can be a much more physical game, especially JV level and below
The parents of girls' teams are way worse to deal with. Oh the drama.
 
 
Boys:
 
The opposite of above
 
 
EDIT: In my area, there are very few girls' teams that play primarily uptempo basketball and when I coached girls, I exploited this. Few teams really practiced transition defense and no one cherry-picked like we did, so we got a lot of easy points versus unprepared (and frankly, shocked) teams. 
 

BroodsSexton

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riboflav said:
 
EDIT: In my area, there are very few girls' teams that play primarily uptempo basketball and when I coached girls, I exploited this. Few teams really practiced transition defense and no one cherry-picked like we did, so we got a lot of easy points versus unprepared (and frankly, shocked) teams. 
 
Maybe the teams weren't coached up that way because the coaches were basing their coaching techniques on stereotypes.
 

Heinie Wagner

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Thanks RIboflav, good stuff.
 
Boys - "The opposite of above" - LOL - but I'm used to all the boy stuff.
 
I've heard about some of the bullying by girls and bad parents from my wife (former D1 player) with this team. Half her player's fathers think they know more about basketball than she does, she thinks it's because she's a woman. I guess I'll find out. I'm hoping the Mom's spare me the drama that they put my wife through like "you played my daughter two minutes less than player X, do you think my daughter is the worst player on the team?".
 
I'll save the pep talks for my boys, I kinda save those for special occasions anyways.
 
After a season with 5th grade boys, one of the things I'm looking forward to is the better attention span of 8th grade girls, but not looking forward to that they don't watch basketball. Almost all of those 5th grade boys watched a ton of basketball. We're in CT, you'd think these girls would at least be watching the Lady Huskies.
 
I'm going to have to get used to not putting my arm around players or patting them on the back too. Lots of fist bumps.
 

riboflav

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Heinie Wagner said:
Thanks RIboflav, good stuff.
 
Boys - "The opposite of above" - LOL - but I'm used to all the boy stuff.
 
I've heard about some of the bullying by girls and bad parents from my wife (former D1 player) with this team. Half her player's fathers think they know more about basketball than she does, she thinks it's because she's a woman. I guess I'll find out. I'm hoping the Mom's spare me the drama that they put my wife through like "you played my daughter two minutes less than player X, do you think my daughter is the worst player on the team?".
 
I'll save the pep talks for my boys, I kinda save those for special occasions anyways.
 
After a season with 5th grade boys, one of the things I'm looking forward to is the better attention span of 8th grade girls, but not looking forward to that they don't watch basketball. Almost all of those 5th grade boys watched a ton of basketball. We're in CT, you'd think these girls would at least be watching the Lady Huskies.
 
I'm going to have to get used to not putting my arm around players or patting them on the back too. Lots of fist bumps.
 
A couple things:
 
Yes, I've never touched girls. Fist bumps only. One of my players a few years ago thanked me for that after the season was over. She said it kind of always creeped her out how male coaches were always grabbing them to show them where to be on the court and so on. Of course, not all girls would react that way, but I figure 100% safety and comfort for everyone trumps the inconvenience of having to point to spots. 
 
The moms can be pretty bad and you hit on the main issue for a lot of them. It's a lot of hurt feelings you'll have to deal with. And a lot of confusion, "Amanda said you told her never to shoot." "Kendall said you told her to always get out of the way when someone dribbles." "Mariel's worried she won't be popular at school anymore because she doesn't start."
 
I'm not surprised your wife experienced that with some of the dads. Dads come with their own set of problems. Thinking they know more that the coaches (especially female coaches) is one of them.
 
The lack of watching basketball can be a problem for boys, too. My current 6th grade boys AAU team doesn't watch much basketball. But, they're largely a developmental team and this may be a correlation. I had some girls who loved sports but would watch football primarily. 
 
Girls are great to coach. I love how hard they tend to work. Boys can be so lazy, especially defensively. That said, it's more challenging to motivate girls when you need to. Boys always understand extra wind sprints after practice and playing time. Girls can be more individualized and you'll have to figure out what works for each of them.
 
Disclaimer - These are tendencies. Not all boys nor all girls fall into the above categories. Also, difference does not imply inferiority or superiority.