Bill Simmons: Good Luck With Your Life.

kenneycb

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Guapos Toenails said:
 
Was this for real?  Holy shit I give an example of why I think he's a douche, I didn't say he was a child abuser.  Could you be more of a thin-skinned pussy?
Yes it's for real. I'm not sure where I'm being thin skinned here as you in no way criticized me, well until now and this was more of a hissy fit directed my way than anything else, but I explained my rationale in greater detail above if you choose to actually respond to the disagreement I had with your view.
 

Leather

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kenneycb said:
Yeah, phrasing.

And sure, when you phrase it in your convoluted way it sounds awful because, well, that's your MO in this thread. It's an very mildly humorous anecdote about the give and take in his relationship with his daughter. Of which sports appears to play a large part. Oh noes.

And I thought the Sterling article sucked and was more or less an excuse to tell the plane story.
 
 
EDIT:  Hey, I was just fixing the flawed analogy that you put forth. 
 
Here's what he wrote (in relevant part):
 
 
So I downshifted a few notches. And even though I prepared her before that Bruins game — Look, this is Daddy’s team, just like the Kings are your team, and if I ever teach you anything in life other than “stay off the pole,” “don’t date a Lakers fan” and “don’t text naked pictures of yourself under any circumstances ever,” it’s that you only have one team for every sport — she couldn’t handle it when it happened. She felt betrayed. When the Kings nearly tied the game in the final seconds, ultimately falling short, I pumped my fist and caught her glaring with one of those “You will pay” death stares.
And just like that, she started crying. I remained sympathetic while being secretly delighted, like she had passed some sort of “Fledgling Sports Fan” hurdle or something. On the way home, I discreetly snapped an iPhone picture of her post-cry for a keepsake — you know, “Here’s the first time sports ever made my daughter cry” — only she caught me taking it, flipped out like a Real World roommate and scratched my right arm so hard that it bled. She didn’t talk to me for two hours. And that’s when I knew my daughter liked sports.
 
It's not that he does what he does with his daughter, it's that he takes what is ostensibly a piece on "The Meaning of Sports", or some other tired theme,  and shoehorns in a fairly lengthy and detailed anecdote about his young daughter crying, and admittedly relishes the moment. In fact, the entire anecdote could have been summarized with a brief "The other night my daughter cried about sports for the first time" and it would have achieved the same purpose vis a vis the rest of the column.
 
And that's not even getting into the odd and entirely inappropriateness of the other "life's advice" he plays for nyucks.   "Hey, I have a daughter, hope she isn't a slut or a Lakers fan, amirite bros?!?!"
 

kenneycb

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LittleLouie said:
And as a way to highlight the point is how Joe Poz writes about his daughter and sports. Bill's take is juvenile and contrived
As I've stated in this thread, why people compare them is beyond me. Two different styles, audiences, etc. Of course Simmons is going to go juvenile. It's his way of relating to the common fan and what he based his non-traditional media success on. Which speaks more to the average American but that's another topic.

Edit: I agree with leather (does that mean I'm with you leather?) on the overall point.
 

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And that's not even getting into the odd and entirely inappropriateness of the other "life's advice" he plays for nyucks.   "Hey, I have a daughter, hope she isn't a slut or a Lakers fan, amirite bros?!?!"
 
What is odd and inappropriate?

And btw, it's obvious he was delighted with his daughter's crying, not because he was enjoying her suffering -which in the big scheme of things isn't a big deal- but because she was passing a milestone, a milestone that made her a sport fan like him and that made him proud. That we re discussing this as a case of child exploitation instead of a humorous anecdote a proud parent passes along is stupefying.
 

ifmanis5

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Gotta give Bill some credit. Last night he tweeted (hey, an actual tweet, not a promo) several times that the ref crew for Clips Game 5 was a joke and would lead to a disaster. And it did. He saw it coming.
 

ElUno20

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On air though, man he is brutal. The entire espn nba analysis crew looks like every day is their first day on television.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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I planned on writing off Game 2 and the NBA lottery for Wednesday, figuring I could bang the piece out on my two flights (Indy to Atlanta, then Atlanta to Miami). One problem: I forgot to charge my laptop. What a rookie mistake.
 
 
Is Simmons serious here? God, could he give less of a shit.
 
Because the Grantland email page that forwards me reader emails has been broken since last weekend. (As soon as we fix it, I’ll post something on my Facebook page.) So I’m going to attempt to GUESS your questions.
 
 
Man. It seems like these guys work in a tree house.
 

URI

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Forgetting how to physically write?  Rookie mistake.
 

nattysez

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Simmons is listed as an exec producer on Million Dollar Arm.  The movie is up to $21mm box office on a budget of $25mm (according to Variety).  So the movie should easily make its money back.  Not a huge hit, but I expect this counts as another feather in Simmons's cap (regardless of what level of involvement he actually had in making the movie).
 

Phil Plantier

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I thought the rule of thumb was to triple the budget amount to account for promotion etc. In which case he might not see any money, especially since I wonder how well a baseball movie would do overseas.
 

Merkle's Boner

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Phil Plantier said:
I thought the rule of thumb was to triple the budget amount to account for promotion etc. In which case he might not see any money, especially since I wonder how well a baseball movie would do overseas.
Considering its a baseball movie about baseball players from India, I would guess it has a better chance than most to make money. As the movie, which I and my family thoroughly enjoyed, points out, there are a potential one billion fans over there.
 

mwonow

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I'm pretty sure he just got in as a placeholder for Million Dollar jumpshot. There's something worthy of 8+of his 1/week columns!
 

SydneySox

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Merkle's Boner said:
Considering its a baseball movie about baseball players from India, I would guess it has a better chance than most to make money. As the movie, which I and my family thoroughly enjoyed, points out, there are a potential one billion fans over there.
Uhh... Why? I mean maybe in India if they're not offended by their country serving in this film as a hell hole the great Americans are here to save people from?

Why would anyone else give a fuck about it?
 

DJnVa

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SydneySox said:
Uhh... Why? I mean maybe in India if they're not offended by their country serving in this film as a hell hole the great Americans are here to save people from?

 
 
You still mad there were no Aussies in Armageddon?
 
#MURICA
 

Leather

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I guess it's a "feather in his cap" in that he spent some money on a Disney project (owner of ESPN) that might end up making some more money.  If so, good on him for getting a little richer, but investing in a movie that has the backing of Disney isn't exactly a shot in the dark. 
 
And, it's not like he had any creative input, right?  And even if he did, the movie has been received pretty negatively.   
 
I don't really see how his association with an unremarkable, moderately successful, film really impacts his legacy one way or the other.    It's not like he bucked conventional wisdom and bankrolled the next "Raging Bull".    Who cares?   It was probably fun to be involved with a movie, regardless of how it ends up, financially.
 

deanx0

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Also, his tweet about it "almost" making more money in its second weekend thanks to word of mouth is hilarious.
 
Weekend 1: $10.5 million
Weekend 2: $6.9 million
 
I am fairly certain that a $3.6 million drop week-over-week is fairly far from almost making more money.
 

Reverend

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Even Waterworld made money once global distribution and home video came into play.
 

johnmd20

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deanx0 said:
Also, his tweet about it "almost" making more money in its second weekend thanks to word of mouth is hilarious.
 
Weekend 1: $10.5 million
Weekend 2: $6.9 million
 
I am fairly certain that a $3.6 million drop week-over-week is fairly far from almost making more money.
 
Yeah, it's not close. But the fact that Simmons is an Executive Producer of any movie is pretty impressive. He has literally gone from working in his bedroom to a host for the NBA and a movie producer. I understand why he doesn't write anymore, even if it depresses me. He's got a lot of things going on. And his success has been astounding.
 
And this movie is going to make a decent amount of money, over time. It won't be The Avatar but it'll recoup its costs and make a bit and, thus, Simmons might have another couple of cracks at the Producer role.
 

SaveBooFerriss

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I think this article captures my frustration with Simmons
 
http://grantland.com/features/nba-finals-game-6-heat-spurs/
 
I thought the first eight paragraphs were great.  He really does a great job describing the action and the Spurs flawed strategy.  In those first 8 paragraphs, he used the word "I" once.  It wasn't about Bill Simmons, it was about the game.  Starting in paragraph 10, it became all about Bill Simmons.  My eyes glazed over from boredom and I stopped reading.  
 
Edit:  I went back and read the entire article.  It was pretty good overall, but I just think it would be better if all the stuff about Bill was edited out.  I just don't think it adds anything at all.  Maybe I am in the minority on this.  
 

cromulence

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It reminds me of that feeling you have sometimes, where you witnessed something special or you had a piece of inside info that no one else did. Basically the "I was there" or the "I knew first" feeling, and it's incredible how powerful the need can be to share it with someone. Just to tell someone "I saw that happen live", even if as you're saying it you can tell that you're just bragging and no one really cares that much. That's what his columns have become - he seems himself as being a special part of these events and he just cannot resist the urge to tell us all about how it was for him. Unfortunately, only his fanboys give a shit.
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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I started reading, but as soon as I came upon, the "Dude, I was so sick ..." portion of the piece, I had to stop.
 
For a successful adult, Bill Simmons has more excuses and woe is me stories.
 

ifmanis5

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He doesn't think about the Aaron Boone game? Really? I mean, I think about it differently, but it most certainly is not forgotten in my book; nor will it ever be forgotten. It's just wonderfully different now.
 
Still, I liked the article overall, except for the woah is me, I'm so sick part. I mean, give me a break. You took a bunch of hot showers. How does this matter, exactly?
 
EDIT: Beaten to it by JMOH.
 

Leather

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We landed in Miami and I holed up in my hotel room, the thermostat jacked as high as it could go, trying to sweat out whatever evil bronchitis demon had possessed me.
 
 
What is he, a fucking idiot?   Does he think having a wet head in the winter causes pneumonia, too?
 
You can’t call in sick for television. You don’t have a choice; you have to keep going. Just keep sucking cough drops, popping Advils and staying hydrated and hope you don’t cough up a lung on live TV
 
 
So hard, he has it so hard.   
 

joe dokes

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drleather2001 said:
 
What is he, a fucking idiot?   Does he think having a wet head in the winter causes pneumonia, too?
 
 
So hard, he has it so hard.   
 
I dont watch the studio stuff any more but doesn't Stuart Scott have cancer, show up for work, and not write 1500 words about how shitty it is.
 

DJnVa

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joe dokes said:
 
I dont watch the studio stuff any more but doesn't Stuart Scott have cancer, show up for work, and not write 1500 words about how shitty it is.
 
You know it dawg!!
 

Future Sox Doc

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I agree. The article was moving along well until he thrust himself into it.  So you are saying that since you and Jacoby had a tough time replicating it, that amost "no" NBA player could do it? Come on. Use your connections. Talk with players and have them say how hard it was.  The talk about having a freaking cold was insane and saying "how hard" it was.  Obviously as an oncologist I see patients go through horrific things and some barely blink an eye; often patients go to work while actively getting chemotherapy, and don't complain at all, let alone complain loudly about having the sniffles and having to talk on TV. 
 

John Marzano Olympic Hero

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The talk about having a freaking cold was insane and saying "how hard" it was.  Obviously as an oncologist I see patients go through horrific things and some barely blink an eye; often patients go to work while actively getting chemotherapy, and don't complain at all, let alone complain loudly about having the sniffles and having to talk on TV.
 
 
I hate doing this, because it's so obvious*, but this is what separates Posnanski from Simmons.
 
*Yes, it's completely unfair to compare the two, but they both have a pretty big internet following and even though one is clearly a better writer than the other, I'm always going to link the two and compare them. Much like I used to link and compare Mo Vaughn and Phil Plantier.
 
Posnanski would have had a sentence or two max about him being sick. And it probably would have been a self-effacing story. Simmons makes it sounds like he was one of the first guys off the boat at the Battle of Normandy. And he goes on for a lot longer than he should. Simmons will never, ever be the writer that he could be because he needs an editor. Everyone needs an editor, even a guy like Peter Gammons, who has been writing since Woodstock needs an editor (some of his stuff on GammonsDaily is dreadful). It doesn't make you a shitty writer nor does it inhibit your creativity -- it just keeps you on track and from losing readers.
 

nattysez

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Here's Sage Steele's reaction when Simmons complained that he hadn't  talked "for ten minutes" (because they were, you know, showing a post-game interview of Leonard and Spoelstra's post-game presser):  https://vine.co/v/MjQAAiuIWBZ
 

Blacken

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This thread has some serious trouble figuring out when Simmons is making fun of himself for entertainment. His schtick is "Bill's immature and we all roll our eyes at him," he overplayed it a little, whatever.
 

DJnVa

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gmogmo said:
Thanks!  You got me too!
 
Perhaps you should take some time to think about why you called Simmons that word and what that word means and why it applies to him.
 

PC Drunken Friar

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Blacken said:
This thread has some serious trouble figuring out when Simmons is making fun of himself for entertainment. His schtick is "Bill's immature and we all roll our eyes at him," he overplayed it a little, whatever.
I've been a pretty big BSG defender in this thread, but that clip is pretty damning.
 

Kenny F'ing Powers

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DrewDawg said:
 
Perhaps you should take some time to think about why you called Simmons that word and what that word means and why it applies to him.
 
Every thread? Every fucking thread, now?
 

Buffalo Head

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No need for the comma after "thread"
 
But your point is well taken. You seem to be bitching about this in every thread.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
See what I did there?
 

AlNipper49

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Buffalo Head said:
No need for the comma after "thread"
 
But your point is well taken. You seem to be bitching about this in every thread.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
See what I did there?
 
Because he's a whiny big bitch
 

PC Drunken Friar

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kenneycb said:
At least it's better than PC's passive aggressive march throughout the board.
If there really is a concern to change the women-hating culture that goes on with some posters at SOSH, I will gladly point out each time I see it.