2013 Confederations Cup - Tahitian Treat

[Infield Infidel]

Even after they lose, the Tahitians get to go back to Tahiti.
 
Group A
Brazil (host)
Japan (Asian Cup winner)
Mexico (CONCACAF Gold Cup winner)
Italy (Euro runner-up)
 
Group B
Spain (World Champs)
Uruguay (Copa America winner)
Tahiti (Oceania Cup Winner)
Nigeria (African Nations Cup winner)
 
 
Tahiti has one professional player on the squad, Marama Vahirua. He's 33 years old, plays for Panthrakikos in Greece, on loan from AS Nancy in France, and has never actually played for Tahiti at any level. He played 6 games for France's U-21.

 

[soxfan121]

Nigeria's players are no longer on strike. That, of course, could change. 
 
Go Tahiti!

 

[Spacemans Bong]

Honestly, it would not surprise me if Tahiti got a point versus Nigeria. The Super Eagles are exactly the kind of self-absorbed underachievers who would fail to take Tahiti seriously to the point that, with a bit of luck, Tahiti don't allow a goal.
 
Now watch them win 12-0.

 

[Dan to Theo to Ben]

What happened to New Zealand in the OFCNC? I get that Australia moved to Asia, football-wise, but Tahiti?
 
Edit: nm, answered my question. Turns out that New Caledonia isn't as bad as I thought. Still 2-0 win over New Zealand is a bit surprising. (in the semi's).
 
(NZ still will play the 4th Concacaf team for the WC entry, as the beat the other 3 teams (inc. Solomons) in a round-robin. )

 

[OCST]

I don't know much about Tahiti, but I know one thing, they're in a lot of trouble.

 

[Dan to Theo to Ben]

I don't know much about Tahiti, but I know one thing, they're in a lot of trouble.

over/under on ball possession v. Spain? 2:98?
 
if they played the U-14 Spain team, would they be favored? U-16 Uruguay?

 

[Infield Infidel]

Japan Brazil is 3pm Saturday

 

[Senator Donut]

Japan Brazil is 3pm Saturday


Holy crap, this is this afternoon? That really snuck up on me without the US participating.

 

[Infield Infidel]

What a strike from Neymar
 
good god Brazil is loaded with young studs. 

 

[DennyDoyle'sBoil]

Dream start for the hosts.

The field looks terrible.

 

[soxfan121]

Paulinho is going to get PAID by someone.

 

[Senator Donut]

This ESPN broadcast is amateur hour. I'm considering switching to Unimas.

Edit: same audio problems on Unimas. Must be problems with the world feed.

6 of the starting 11 play for the Italian champions!

 

[soxfan121]

The announcer for Italy-Mexico is fantastic. Makes Ian Darke sound like he's on quaaludes. 
 
Mexico looks like they don't want to be there. Could be 2-0 already, if not for Corona (the keeper, not the beer).

 

[soxfan121]

Bearded Pirlo with an unstoppable free kick shot & goal. 1-0 Italy.

 

[Morgan's Magic Snowplow]

Pretty similar to his goal versus Croatia at the Euros last summer.  I feel like I've seen him do that on other occasions too.  Pirlo is really fucking good at putting free kicks just over the wall and curling them to the near post.

 

[Turrable]

Who is the target audience for heavily accented announcers speaking English? Spanish speakers can watch the Spanish channel and English speakers are just annoyed.

 

[Senator Donut]

Kudos for ESPN for putting up a graphic that read "Mexico: Undefeated in 2013 (1-0-8)"

 

[Spacemans Bong]

This is scary. Uruguay are having a bumpy ride in CONMEBOL, but they're the South American champions and a legitimately elite team. Spain are absolutely routing them.

 

[soxfan121]

Who is the target audience for heavily accented announcers speaking English? Spanish speakers can watch the Spanish channel and English speakers are just annoyed.

 
Me. I thought that was the best call of a game on ESPN, ever (non-Martin Tyler division). Ian Darke is good but his analysts are, mostly, rubes and dingleberries. 
 
I thoroughly enjoyed Palumbo's (?) call of the action and thought the analyst was concise, interesting and knowledgeable. 
 
And if you didn't like "To any kids watching - try to do everything Pirlo does", well, you're Turrable.

 

[Section30]

Spain should be wearing skirts and carrying handbags

 

[soxfan121]

Spain should be wearing skirts and carrying handbags

 
There are other, more entertaining and less offensively sexist ways  of expressing this sentiment. Do us all a favor and expand your pejorative insult repertoire. 
 
Spain falls down and cries more than a toddler learning to walk. 
 
Explore the studio space. Have some fun with it. Don't insult our female membership and/or readers with your lack of creativity. 

 

[URI]

Uruguay made 95 passes in the first half. Xavi had 70...woof.

 

[URI]

By woof, I mean like ugly women! Right guys? Right?

 

[EP Sox Fan]

Suarez is such a fantastic talent. Too bad he's such a tremendous douchebag.

 

[Section30]

There are other, more entertaining and less offensively sexist ways  of expressing this sentiment. Do us all a favor and expand your pejorative insult repertoire. 
 
Spain falls down and cries more than a toddler learning to walk. 
 
Explore the studio space. Have some fun with it. Don't insult our female membership and/or readers with your lack of creativity. 

The skirts and handbags were a reference to Arod. Great skills but a whiny little girl attitude ruins the game for me.
 
I heard the skirt and handbag comment used in a women's professional game; one player to another.

 

[Infield Infidel]

Tahiti apparently lost 7-0 last week to Chile's U-20 team. This could be ugly tomorrow
 
edit- U-20, not U-21

 

[soxfan121]

Tahiti apparently lost 7-0 last week to Chile's U-21 team. This could be ugly tomorrow

 
Not if some smart Tahitian starts a rumor that the Nigerian Football Association is going to cut the team's bonuses again. 
 
OK, yeah...it's gonna be ugly. And the match against Spain might produce the most lopsided stat sheet in history. 

 

[coremiller]

Spain's depth is unreal. How good would Spain's second XI be?

Reina
Azpulicueta-Albiol-Monreal
Martinez
Navas-Mata-Cazorla-Silva
Torres-Villa

They need one more centerback and maybe another defensive midfielder but there are only three or four countries that have a first XI that good.

 

[Morgan's Magic Snowplow]

 
Not if some smart Tahitian starts a rumor that the Nigerian Football Association is going to cut the team's bonuses again. 

OK, yeah...it's gonna be ugly. And the match against Spain might produce the most lopsided
stat sheet in history. 

What is the highest possession percentage you can remember in an international or club match? I have to think >90% will be doable for Spain.

 

[soxfan121]

What is the highest possession percentage you can remember in an international or club match? I have to think >90% will be doable for Spain.

 
Google says Barca v. Rayo was 87% - Xavi was 147 for 150 in that game. 
 
Can't find anything on an official international match. I'm sure there's a friendly with outrageous numbers but I can't think there's going to be a higher % in a tournament like this. 

 

[Billy R Ford]

The skirts and handbags were a reference to Arod. Great skills but a whiny little girl attitude ruins the game for me.
 
I heard the skirt and handbag comment used in a women's professional game; one player to another.

 
I, too, have black friends. Sometimes, they also make KFC jokes.
 
 
 
Constructively, Michael Cox has had a few great articles on Spain recently, and his argument is that Spain have better depth now but a worse starting XI. I am really intrigued to see how some elite players who play outside of Real/Barca (Juan Mata, Javi Martinez, for example, who are among the best in the world at their position) are played during the Confederations Cup.
 
Today, neither started, but both were used as substitutes. Del Bosque is clearly recognizing that these men are among the best of the best, but he is under pressure to keep the Spanish National Team based on Spanish-based players.
 
I think in 2014, both Mata and Martinez will be starters for Spain- they are too good not to be. The politics of playing them, though, are intense. Also, race/sex/gender in Britain and so on and so forth. For me La Liga 2013-14 will be more interesting for seeing who establishes themselves as legit World Cup starters than anything else.

 

[Morgan's Magic Snowplow]

Mata seems to have a better shot of winning a starting role. I can see the argument for him over Fabregas or Pedro pretty easily right now. I think it will be a lot harder for Javi Martinez, as he is really just in direct competition with Busquets, who isn't going anywhere.

 

[Turrable]

Me. I thought that was the best call of a game on ESPN, ever (non-Martin Tyler division). Ian Darke is good but his analysts are, mostly, rubes and dingleberries. 
 
I thoroughly enjoyed Palumbo's (?) call of the action and thought the analyst was concise, interesting and knowledgeable. 
 
And if you didn't like "To any kids watching - try to do everything Pirlo does", well, you're Turrable.

 
That one dude who wanted to eat Pirlo's goal (SCRUMPTIOUS...TASTY!) was creeping me the fuck out.
 
If the commentary bar we're shooting for is Taylor Twellman then I'll give those guys the upper hand just for showing up but they can't touch the perfection of Darke/McManaman.

 

[lars10]

That one dude who wanted to eat Pirlo's goal (SCRUMPTIOUS...TASTY!) was creeping me the fuck out.
 
If
the commentary bar we're shooting for is Taylor Twellman then I'll give
those guys the upper hand just for showing up but they can't touch the
perfection of Darke/McManaman.

Apparently they were Fernando Palomo and Alejandro Moren...and apparently they'll be doing Mexico's games and a few others.

My problem with them is that they seem skewed heavily toward Mexico...not necessarily in favor of them, but in that they seem to know a lot about the team and talk much more about Mexico than the other in the two games I've seen them commentate so far... last week it was against Costa Rica and today against Italy.  I may be too hard on them, but I'm not impressed yet...between them in the booth and two guys on the panel it seemed very pro Mexico....I mean a guy seriously saying there should have been a red card on the foul on Dos Santos?...really?  It's bad enough they have Ley and Lalas on the panel who add little to nothing...could the other guys be unbiased and know a little something about the game and its rules?

 

[Turrable]

Basically they're the equivalent to the commentating team that does USMNT games, in that those guys are heavily biased towards the US and these guys are heavily biased towards Mexico, presumably because that caters to the majority of the viewing audience. What I don't get about the arrangement is that most Mexicans living in the U.S. just watch the games on Spanish TV.

 

[Gunfighter 09]

I know more than a few people (three families on my street back in San Diego) who are younger, 2nd Gen Mexican Americans who speak pretty average to shitty Spanish (they grew up here), spend most of their life working and conversing in English and root like heck for those assholes in the Green Shirts. I think there are quite a few people whose fathers watch El Tri on Univision while they prefer to watch on ESPN. 

 

[bosox4283]

I, too, have black friends. Sometimes, they also make KFC jokes.
 
 
 
Constructively, Michael Cox has had a few great articles on Spain recently, and his argument is that Spain have better depth now but a worse starting XI. I am really intrigued to see how some elite players who play outside of Real/Barca (Juan Mata, Javi Martinez, for example, who are among the best in the world at their position) are played during the Confederations Cup.
 
Today, neither started, but both were used as substitutes. Del Bosque is clearly recognizing that these men are among the best of the best, but he is under pressure to keep the Spanish National Team based on Spanish-based players.
 
I think in 2014, both Mata and Martinez will be starters for Spain- they are too good not to be. The politics of playing them, though, are intense. Also, race/sex/gender in Britain and so on and so forth. For me La Liga 2013-14 will be more interesting for seeing who establishes themselves as legit World Cup starters than anything else.

 
Where have you read that there is pressure on Del Bosque to keep the Spanish National Team based on Spanish-based players? I'm not debating this point. I would be interested in reading more about this perspective.

 

[sachmoney]

That one dude who wanted to eat Pirlo's goal (SCRUMPTIOUS...TASTY!) was creeping me the fuck out.
 
If the commentary bar we're shooting for is Taylor Twellman then I'll give those guys the upper hand just for showing up but they can't touch the perfection of Darke/McManaman.

What? Seriously? You're pretty much the only person I know who has referred to that pairing as that. They're awful. They talk too much, they force conversation, and rehash old topics over and over again. They're not good together. Darke is better with Twellman.

 

[soxfan121]

And really, accents are accents. If you prefer the dulcet tones of the English accent, you're going to prefer Darke. If you would like some excitement and panache, you'd go for Palomo. 
 
And if you prefer Twellman's tonality, you are brain damaged. ;-)

 

[teddykgb]

I, too, have black friends. Sometimes, they also make KFC jokes.
 
 
 
Constructively, Michael Cox has had a few great articles on Spain recently, and his argument is that Spain have better depth now but a worse starting XI. I am really intrigued to see how some elite players who play outside of Real/Barca (Juan Mata, Javi Martinez, for example, who are among the best in the world at their position) are played during the Confederations Cup.
 
Today, neither started, but both were used as substitutes. Del Bosque is clearly recognizing that these men are among the best of the best, but he is under pressure to keep the Spanish National Team based on Spanish-based players.
 
I think in 2014, both Mata and Martinez will be starters for Spain- they are too good not to be. The politics of playing them, though, are intense. Also, race/sex/gender in Britain and so on and so forth. For me La Liga 2013-14 will be more interesting for seeing who establishes themselves as legit World Cup starters than anything else.

 
The whole Spain depth thing is incredibly interesting to watch.  You've got all these youth players angling for moves or pressuring their existing teams for more of a role now in order to try to prove their worth for the WC.  Isco and Thiago of course, plus Tello, Deulofeu, Munain, etc...  But then there's all these incumbents, players who have proven their worth for club and country.  It's going to be fascinating to see who makes the right choices and inserts themselves into the XI over the next year.  Mata and Martinez, as you've pointed out, are chief among these, but there's so much depth pushing upward for them right now that Del Bosque has some really interesting choices on his hands.

 

[Bosoxen]

I know more than a few people (three families on my street back in San Diego) who are younger, 2nd Gen Mexican Americans who speak pretty average to shitty Spanish (they grew up here), spend most of their life working and conversing in English and root like heck for those assholes in the Green Shirts. I think there are quite a few people whose fathers watch El Tri on Univision while they prefer to watch on ESPN. 

 
A) Fuck you for the bolded.
 
B) You're absolutely correct that there are many Mexicans in this country who don't speak Spanish at all. I see that phenomenon occurring in my very own family. My siblings and I are first generation here in the States and we are all native Spanish speakers. But my nieces and nephews don't speak it very much. They understand it well enough but it's because we make it a point to keep them exposed to it. I would imagine that their kids would then fall into the category of "average to shitty Spanish" because they will be that much further removed from our generation of native speakers. It's not really that uncommon, actually.
 
C) Regarding the point being made about the announcers calling for the red card: they're insane. That was definitely a yellow but not a straight red. The only red I felt was deserved was Balotelli for taking his shirt off after the winning goal. That should have been his second yellow but he somehow got away with his tantrum when he was tossing and kicking his shoe around.
 
Finally, I really can't stress point A enough.

 

[soxfan121]

Eh, I've seen a red card given for taking down the guy in the box as the last defender. It would not have been the worst red card I've ever seen. The correct call was yellow and the penalty shot. 
 
Mexico just looks disinterested. Maybe they've tuned Chepo out? 
 
And Balotelli deserved a penalty shot when he was taken down in the box. I'm sure the ref didn't see the boot throw or he would have been carded. That said, he's fucking amazing. The goal was one of those "I AM ALL THAT IS MAN" goals - three dudes around him, one hanging on his back, off-balance and still buried the shot. I did like Prandelli's post-match comments ("Mario needs to stop showing his physique because cards matter") and his overall approach with Mario. Several times the camera caught Prandelli clapping and pointing at Balotelli for his effort in tracking back. He did more defensively yesterday than I saw him do in all his time at City combined. Prandelli understands he has a massive talent with some issues and is working his ass of to minimize the bad and accentuate the good. 
 
And DeRossi jumping on Mario's back, screaming in joy, is one of my favorite celebrations. Italy (the country) needs to see their heroes (like DeRossi) embracing Balotelli as a teammate. I am sad that ESPN cut away before we got to see Mario hugging his adoptive mother after the match - that image from the 2012 Euros is one memory I'll always have. 
 
Oh, did I mention I love Mario unconditionally? I'm really the leader of Balotelli zealotry. 

 

[Turrable]

What? Seriously? You're pretty much the only person I know who has referred to that pairing as that. They're awful. They talk too much, they force conversation, and rehash old topics over and over again. They're not good together. Darke is better with Twellman.

 
Agree to disagree I guess, I think they're awesome together.

 

[sachmoney]

And really, accents are accents. If you prefer the dulcet tones of the English accent, you're going to prefer Darke. If you would like some excitement and panache, you'd go for Palomo. 
 
And if you prefer Twellman's tonality, you are brain damaged. ;-)

Well, I did drink A LOT in college, so it's definitely a possibility. I just don't think McManaman brings anything to the table and I don't know if he's even interested to be there. I feel like Darke gets brought down to his level.
 
Is there an actual basis for the preference for Spanish based players speculation?

 

[DLew On Roids]

A) F*ck you for the bolded.

I really cannot wait to punch you in the Yucatan in a couple of weeks.

 

[SoxFanInCali]

If you are going to wrestle him on the bus, let me know so I don't get kicked in the face this time.

 

[DLew On Roids]

Based on recent pictures of you, if you drink as much as I know you can, you might not even feel it.

 

[Bosoxen]

You have nothing to worry about. The only physical activity I will be partaking in will involve the repeated lifting of cold beer to pour it into my belly.
 
I suppose I'll also do some walking and the occasional punch to DLew's throat.

 

[SoxFanInCali]

Given your relative sizes, I would think it would be you punching DLew in the balls, and him punching you in the throat.

 

[Billy R Ford]

Where have you read that there is pressure on Del Bosque to keep the Spanish National Team based on Spanish-based players? I'm not debating this point. I would be interested in reading more about this perspective.

 
It's actually more my own perception than anything I've read, so I probably shouldn't have made the point so definitely. At the 2010 World Cup, only one foreign-based player started a match for Spain (Fernando Torres), and at Euro 2012, only 2 (Torres and David Silva), and they didn't start every match. Then I read bits like this in http://espnfc.com/blog/_/name/tacticsandanalysis/id/1521?cc=5901]Michael Cox's column[/url]:
 

Alternatively, Del Bosque could move Xavi deeper alongside Busquets in the role he's more accustomed to at club level. This would open up a space for an additional goal-scoring midfielder such as Santi Cazorla, Fabregas or Mata. Del Bosque has been surprisingly reluctant to use the Chelsea No. 10 recently, possibly because he's very "immediate" in possession and isn't the classic tiki-taka player.

 
You could just as easily say the selection is based on merit, and for players like Xavi and Iniesta of course it is, but why so for someone like Busquets? As Morgan's Magic Snowplow said, he's not going anywhere- but why? Javi Martinez is better, imo, and since they're similar players I think it'd be worth trying Martinez in Busquets' role.
 
Not trying to imply it's a big conspiracy, just that the domestic-based players probably have a subtle leg-up by playing in their home country. Then again, that seems to have worked out pretty good for Spain these last few years.