TomRicardo

TomRicardo · Dec 22, 2011

Party tonight. <a href="http://www.twitter.com/JustinD_OReilly" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@JustinD_OReilly</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/thew1se" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@thew1se</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/the_Summerman" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@the_Summerman</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 22, 2011

Booze tonight at the apartment? RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/frankhejl" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@frankhejl</a> Probably incredibly stupid, but I just quit my job.

TomRicardo · Dec 22, 2011

Actually <a href="http://www.twitter.com/jamierosencomic" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@jamierosencomic</a> was talking to my good friend <a href="http://www.twitter.com/GibranSaleem" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@GibranSaleem</a> RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/mmam1111" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@mmam1111</a> umm gross....dont do it <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23stdsaregrossmkay" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#stdsaregrossmkay</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 22, 2011

Man next year I am just giving everyone signed headshots for XMas. Or signed pictures of me finishing a truck bomb.

TomRicardo · Dec 22, 2011

Hey <a href="http://www.twitter.com/realshitgirlsay" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@realshitgirlsay</a> what should I classify "I fucking hate guys. You're all dumbys." Someone with a uterus actually tweeted that

TomRicardo · Dec 21, 2011

It all comes out. RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/petedavidson" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@petedavidson</a> Showtunes are the shit and my favorite music. That might sound gay but i dont give a fuck how's that

TomRicardo · Dec 21, 2011

Have fun performing in your underwear while crying as Ron tells you to dance. RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/BrooklynRon" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@BrooklynRon</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/itsmenickyt" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@itsmenickyt</a> I can offer you a guest spot.

TomRicardo · Dec 20, 2011

Ice Cream Socials, how the hell is Coughlin going to counter that? Make your own sundaes for the defense? <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23nfl" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#nfl</a> <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23jets" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#jets</a> <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23giants" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#giants</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 20, 2011

Of course. If only I had a spot to perform for you people. RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/Justincredibl79" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@Justincredibl79</a> u coming home for xmas your cuzin is always on my couch

TomRicardo · Dec 20, 2011

Baby, Baby I get down on me knees for you. If you'd only love me like use to do. <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23topgun" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#topgun</a> RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/caroline_warner" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@caroline_warner</a> I give up on you. Later douche

TomRicardo · Dec 19, 2011

Every time I see some baby in a "hot bitch" onesie I wonder if her dad's friends are saving ones for her eventual stage debut at 18.

TomRicardo · Dec 19, 2011

You have no idea. I woke up in the wrong country once. <a href="http://www.twitter.com/petedavidson" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@petedavidson</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/iammikecannon" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@iammikecannon</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/giants" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@giants</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 19, 2011

Like Coughlin smile weird? RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/IamMikeCannon" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@IamMikeCannon</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/petedavidson" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@petedavidson</a> and I will make the end of the <a href="http://www.twitter.com/Giants" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@Giants</a> season REAL weird!

TomRicardo · Dec 18, 2011

The crucifix over my bed just started weeping? Are the Broncos losing? <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23nfl" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#nfl</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 17, 2011

But I like that picture of me. RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/minastefan" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@minastefan</a> btw, anyone with a dick in their avatar wont get a response back...

TomRicardo · Dec 17, 2011

Just rocked the show at Symphony Space. Now holiday party time.

TomRicardo · Dec 16, 2011

The best part of that is Boras stumbling about realizing he doesn't get a piece of a coaching salary. RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/Fenway" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@Fenway</a> <a href="http://t.co/9xE5fcFd" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">http://t.co/9xE5fcFd</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 16, 2011

My grandmother almost tricked me into flash mobbing a church.

TomRicardo · Dec 16, 2011

This group scares me almost as much as it amuses me <a href="http://www.twitter.com/MaxMayMM" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@MaxMayMM</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/CherylxWolf" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@CherylxWolf</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/michelleisawolf" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@michelleisawolf</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/KateWolff1" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@KateWolff1</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 15, 2011

You are doing Stand up again? <a href="http://www.twitter.com/frankhejl" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@frankhejl</a> is also making a come back. RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/ChrisGethard" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@ChrisGethard</a> Hey williamsburgers, I'm doing stand up at 8 at cameo

TomRicardo · Dec 15, 2011

Meerkats piss off cats? RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/Smethanie" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@Smethanie</a> I bet dudes with pet meerkats get mad pussy.

TomRicardo · Dec 15, 2011

Does booking female comedians make me less of a misogynist? I need to really reevaluate the people I am inviting to do spots....

TomRicardo · Dec 14, 2011

Christianity? RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/PeteDavidson" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@PeteDavidson</a> If Tebow beats Brady I'll hop on the bandwagon

TomRicardo · Dec 14, 2011

Probably shouldn't have birthed all those babies to eat. RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/PhilanthropyGal" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@PhilanthropyGal</a> My uterus hurts.

TomRicardo · Dec 14, 2011

The <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23NFL" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#NFL</a> has made a special request for Tom Brady to change his number to 666 just for one game. <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23Patriots" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#Patriots</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 14, 2011

That is pretty much my bag. Are you going to be around in the next three weeks? RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/LeahBonnema" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@LeahBonnema</a> BLASPHEMOR!

TomRicardo · Dec 13, 2011

I wish I had South Park Breaks RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/mmam1111" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@mmam1111</a> south park study break with <a href="http://www.twitter.com/amyloudarling" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@amyloudarling</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 13, 2011

Blackout Tuesdays my friend. See you at 7 PM RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/The_SummerMan" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@The_SummerMan</a> What are Tuesdays without Sons of Anarchy now? <a href="http://www.twitter.com/sutterink" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@sutterink</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 13, 2011

I like your bf but you have to dump him, he is costing me booze RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/camltheo" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@camltheo</a> My bf wouldn't appreciate it even if I spent the 1000 on him

TomRicardo · Dec 12, 2011

Any plans with your corpse? RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/harriethalloway" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@harriethalloway</a> Just saw charlize theron play me in young adult: the harriet halloway story. Slitting wrists

TomRicardo · Dec 12, 2011

Hey guys check out my new fiancee <a href="http://t.co/Fl0cTCcU" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">http://t.co/Fl0cTCcU</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 12, 2011

Don't use password as your password RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/HeidiWatney" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@HeidiWatney</a> My email account was hacked AGAIN... anyone know how I can stop this from happening!

TomRicardo · Dec 12, 2011

I use to question what the term "Creative Non-Fiction" meant before I met you.

TomRicardo · Dec 12, 2011

We could be twinsies. RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/frecklesxlace" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@frecklesxlace</a> I drink at home. Blogging. Watching Gossip Girl. I enjoy my life.

TomRicardo · Dec 11, 2011

I think New York will win. RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/KimKardashian" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@KimKardashian</a> Its Sunday so you know what that means??!!?? <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23KKTNY" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#KKTNY</a>! Kourtney & Kim Take New York tonight on E!

TomRicardo · Dec 9, 2011

I just punched AIDS in the face by adding my voice to the (2015)QUILT created by <a href="http://www.twitter.com/joinRED" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@joinRED</a> and <a href="http://www.twitter.com/ONEcampaign" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@ONEcampaign</a> <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23endofAIDS" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#endofAIDS</a>. <a href="http://t.co/8eoXf6cU" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">http://t.co/8eoXf6cU</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 9, 2011

A girl can dream... RT RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/knotaprettygirl" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@knotaprettygirl</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/StellaRTwot" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@StellaRTwot</a> tweets makes me wish I had children of my own to pick on and a husband to cheat on.

TomRicardo · Dec 8, 2011

Thanks David Stern. I almost convinced myself to watch basketball again, but now I won't waste my time until you die. <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23nba" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#nba</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 8, 2011

Or you hit her too hard. RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/frecklesxlace" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@frecklesxlace</a> When a woman is silent it means one of two things: she's upset or has a dick in her mouth.

TomRicardo · Dec 8, 2011

I am not sure I could in good faith unfollow someone because of their hair. RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/LeahBonnema" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@LeahBonnema</a> That sounds like a fair deal! <a href="http://www.twitter.com/MBtheREMIX" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@MBtheREMIX</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 8, 2011

I am winning at feeding myself. RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/zachmcgovern" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@zachmcgovern</a> If u base your success on how well others are doing... Does anyone have any food?

TomRicardo · Dec 7, 2011

If we can't make fun of famous people for their flaws how is <a href="http://www.twitter.com/perezhilton" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@perezhilton</a> to survive RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/NotJPo" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@NotJPo</a> Stop making fun of fat chicks, famous or not

TomRicardo · Dec 7, 2011

I am hitting unfollow at 2,999,999. WHO IS WITH ME? RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/KevinHart4real" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@KevinHart4real</a> I'M GETTING CLOSER TO 3 MILLION TWITCHES..........

TomRicardo · Dec 7, 2011

Tim McCarver won the Frick Award?!?! Suddenly Jeter's Golden Gloves don't look so bad... <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23mlb" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#mlb</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 6, 2011

Off to host my show. And by host I mean furiously glare at every comedian booked while they do their set.

TomRicardo · Dec 6, 2011

<a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23Big12" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#Big12</a> bitching about <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23BigEast" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#BigEast</a> Expansion, it is easier to get from San Diego to Stores for a Saturday than Norman to Morganstown on a Tues.

TomRicardo · Dec 5, 2011

Just wrote an email to Mike McCarthy explaining I got a bye in fantasy and I don't need Rodgers getting injured like last year. <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23resthim" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#resthim</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 5, 2011

So if it isn't against the rules, it is still cheating? UPenn law degree RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/SalPal16" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@SalPal16</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/JonDon323" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@JonDon323</a> Doesn't have to be illegal to be cheating.

TomRicardo · Dec 5, 2011

I wonder how much Obama is paying to fund Newt's GOP nomination <a href="http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23evenNixonscorpsecouldbeatNewt" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">#evenNixonscorpsecouldbeatNewt</a>

TomRicardo · Dec 5, 2011

Can I take a stab at the title? RT <a href="http://www.twitter.com/feministbartndr" rel='nofollow external' class="su_links">@feministbartndr</a> I should specify, any artists or artist/writers interested in collaborating?