SB53: Choose Your Own Adventure

Ale Xander said:

69-0, 9TD for Gronk (8 receiving, 6 from TB12, 1 from JE11, and 1 from Hoyer, and one on an end around), and a 2PT conversion, a 65YD FG by Ghost as time expires in 1st half, and a safety on a corner blitz by JC Jackson.

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I was disappointed realizing there’d be no extra point after the overtime TD, as that would’ve made the combined score 69.

ConigliarosPotential said:

The Falcons have never won a Super Bowl. Those first two-and-a-half quarters are the pinnacle of the franchise's existence.

That's how.

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The Sox aren't quite the same kind of comparison, but as far as fan pain goes...16 years ago, I'd have never watched Game 7 2003 again, either.

Different strokes, I suppose.

ConigliarosPotential said:

My heart bleeds for you.

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Thank you.

I want them to score a touchdown in the first quarter.

I’d like to see the Pats constantly change their defensive look in the final 15 seconds of the play clock, when McVay can’t just tell Goff what to do.

If I'm God, then the Pats are down 24 at the start of the 4th, Pats defense gets a couple of turnovers to keep the game from being over, and Brady is 20 for 20 down the stretch, including three 2 pt conversions to tie, Pats lose the flip and Hightower runs it in on a strip sack for the win in overtime.

I want that because it's the sort of thing you'd remember for for a lifetime. But fuck it, we already have Atlanta. How about we just go up 14 - 0 in the first, 17 - 3 in the second, 31 - 10 in the third, then win 38 - 24?

That's how I see this going, by the way - Pats blowout.

Adrian's Dome said:

I have never watched a second, not a fucking iota, of the two SBs against the Giants again after the fact. How you can do that after getting your guts absolutely torn out is beyond me.

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I still haven't seen Muncy's HR in the World Series this past season. I nodded off, because the game was 53 hours long, and woke up to the whatever the hell was on TV after it at like 3:30 am. I did see the top of the 18th though.

Mystic Merlin said:

I’d like to see the Pats constantly change their defensive look in the final 15 seconds of the play clock, when McVay can’t just tell Goff what to do.

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Amoeba defense.

Assuming I could pre-determine the outcome - and then have no idea it was pre-determined as I watch it - I'd want something similar to the Falcons game. For now, my heart can take it, and I got way more immediate and I think lasting joy out of the Seahawks and Falcons SBs than, say, '04 against the Eagles, which never worried me for a second.

I would have the Pats fall behind 28-7 by fumbling deep in their territory, having a few drives stall due to conservative play-calls, giving up a return on special teams, and a few big plays on defense. But they storm back to tie it, 38-38, (Gilmore pick-6) and are driving with a chance to win it in regulation. 4th and 10 from their own 40, :50 left, they line up to punt, and BB calls the ballsiest fake in SB history, catching the Rams completely off guard, which picks up a huge chunk and easily gets them in range. Ghost gets his first SB-winning kick. Brady goes 32-for-34 with two throwaways. James White MVP (3 TDs: rushing, receiving, throwing).

ConigliarosPotential said:

Re: everyone wanting a blowout and being able to enjoy the game, let me tell you...I was really enjoying Super Bowl LI for a long, long time because it looked and felt like a blowout for the Falcons. During the four hours or whatever from the start of the game to the end, I probably enjoyed myself for a much higher proportion of the game than most of you did. And while obviously it ended in abject misery for me, I can actually now go back and watch the first three quarters and feel pretty good about them. (Do you guys watch the first three quarters when you have a chance to re-live that game, or do you skip straight to the comeback?)

Anyway, this is just a cautionary note: you may wish for a blowout, but I doubt you'll actually be able to enjoy it as a blowout until the fourth quarter (and thereafter in retrospect).

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Do you not understand the point of this thread? This is a “wish list’ thread, like, if you could have it anyway you want it. We want the blowout to be so far gone that it is completely out of reach. So 28-3 isn’t a consideration.

This is not the right thread for you my friend. I admire you for hanging out here but this is a thread full of Patriot fans fantasizing about our ultimate victory lap for the 6th Lombardi. Considering your post in the other thread whereby you just want every franchise to win equally, I would probably sit this thread out.

A massacre. Where I can relax. 44-3. A stomping.

Have any of our SBs been easy? Carolina was in the first half, then got dicey. Philadelphia seemed like we were always in control, but they had a chance to win at the end. Seattle and Rams were tight all along. And Falcons was insane.

I’ll take a no doubt blow out for once.

queenb said:

Assuming I could pre-determine the outcome - and then have no idea it was pre-determined as I watch it - I'd want something similar to the Falcons game. For now, my heart can take it, and I got way more immediate and I think lasting joy out of the Seahawks and Falcons SBs than, say, '04 against the Eagles, which never worried me for a second.

I would have the Pats fall behind 28-7 by fumbling deep in their territory, having a few drives stall due to conservative play-calls, giving up a return on special teams, and a few big plays on defense. But they storm back to tie it, 38-38, (Gilmore pick-6) and are driving with a chance to win it in regulation. 4th and 10 from their own 40, :50 left, they line up to punt, and BB calls the ballsiest fake in SB history, catching the Rams completely off guard, which picks up a huge chunk and easily gets them in range. Ghost gets his first SB-winning kick. Brady goes 32-for-34 with two throwaways. James White MVP (3 TDs: rushing, receiving, throwing).

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If Brady is 32-34 with two throw aways, James White ain’t getting MVP.

djbayko said:

If Brady is 32-34 with two throw aways, James White ain’t getting MVP.

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Hear me out: for 230 yards (remember, conservative play-calls). Meanwhile, White's rush was a Derrick Henry-esque broken tackle fest for 80+ yards. His catch was short, but important. His TD throw - a jump pass to Gronk - tied the game late in the fourth. 200 total yards, even with a near-perfect Brady, MIGHT do it. Might.

Blowout win - and Gronk begins his wrestling career with a piledriver to Goodell on the trophy stand.

Pats have yet to get a TD in the first quarter of a Brady SB. Just FYI.

SMU_Sox said:

I want a 34-17 win. I’d like to see a CP84 big play whether it be a jet sweep or a return or a downfield reception. But something that shows the brilliance of maximizing a guys skillset. Offensive and defensive lines dominate the game. 0 turnovers for the Patriots and at least 3 for the Rams. It’s 34-10 with 6:00 to go. Rams score with 2:56 left but never see the ball again.

It would be cool to see, when it is 27-10, JMC with a pick-six with his brother helping him block and celebrating in the end zone together.

MVP: in my fantasy it’s Sony Michel. He ends the game with 145 yards and 3TDs. Also has 3 receptions for 32 yards and 2 first downs. He shows why (when you are picking at 31) it’s actually ok to invest in an RB. Just a reminder that Michel should make a leap in the next 1-2 years in receiving. He’s also going to get his NFL legs under him. If you can’t tell I have an enormous Michel pride boner right now.

Edit: I want to be able to watch Trent Brown porn on here after. We’re talking highlight reel mauls and blowing shit up Michael Bay style.

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Almost exactly what I would’ve posted, very much including the JMC pick 6. I’d like that play to happen as time runs out, specifically, making JMC the hero and the brothers celebrating as confetti rains down. That would be something.

Given the previous 8 Super Bowls, my head knows exactly what to expect: 4 hours of torture.

I would love a blowout. Like the Denver divisional in 2011.

Mystic Merlin said:

I’d like to see the Pats constantly change their defensive look in the final 15 seconds of the play clock, when McVay can’t just tell Goff what to do.

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I suspect that is exactly what they will do (not the whole game though), as they have done that in several games this season.

I am pretty stunned by the majority wish here for a blowout, given the rules of the thought experiment. Obviously that’s what we all wish for now, because a blowout provides the highest probability of actually ending up with a W when the clock hits 0:00. But if you knew that the Pats are going to win, I would argue that the only people who could make any case for choosing a blowout are those who have a reasonable belief that they might actually suffer a heart attack otherwise. I am, frankly, appalled by all of the, “Let it be a blowout so I can relax for a few hours” talk. You want to trade in the opportunity for greater all-time historical Pats glory so you can relax a bit for a few hours? Really?

Think about it for a second: imagine Brady, Bill, and the Pats’ historical legacy if they were to engineer a bigger comeback than against Atlanta. Those are the most celebrated, best remembered games, and the legacies of everybody involved are heightened accordingly. Of course we should pick the most insane, utterly improbable comeback, one which both exceeds the sheer ground made up of Atlanta, and includes a single play with a greater win probability swing than Butler, plus some other utterly ridiculous stuff that would elevate others on the team to greater glory, and make the game, beyond any argument, the single greatest game and team performance in NFL—no, all sports—history.

Sheesh.

(And for those of you who would argue that a blowout will somehow “validate” the Pats’ greatness in the eyes of anybody but the already-converted, I have a few bridges to sell you.)

PedraMartina said:

But if you knew that the Pats are going to win

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In my wish casting, I don't want to know the outcome before the game starts.

If I know the final score, my enjoyment of the game is greatly reduced. Hell if it's a regular season game that I DVR'd because I was busy at 1 pm and I find out the score somehow, I'm just as likely to delete it as I am to watch it.

It's true that the tight games are exciting but if you know for a fact which team is going to win, the takes most of the excitement out of it. Hell, if all you want to do is be guaranteed that they win before you watch it, either re-watch one of the old ones or record the game and only watch if they win.

PedraMartina said:

...

Think about it for a second: imagine Brady, Bill, and the Pats’ historical legacy if they were to engineer a bigger comeback than against Atlanta. Those are the most celebrated, best remembered games, and the legacies of everybody involved are heightened accordingly. Of course we should pick the most insane, utterly improbable comeback, one which both exceeds the sheer ground made up of Atlanta, and includes a single play with a greater win probability swing than Butler, plus some other utterly ridiculous stuff that would elevate others on the team to greater glory, and make the game, beyond any argument, the single greatest game and team performance in NFL—no, all sports—history.

Sheesh.

(And for those of you who would argue that a blowout will somehow “validate” the Pats’ greatness in the eyes of anybody but the already-converted, I have a few bridges to sell you.)

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A game like that would certainly lead to a lifetime of bellyaching from every non-Pats fan on the planet about how the refs missed a critical call, etc. I'm on Team Blowout, 42-0 or thereabouts. I would also like to see 3 separate obvious DPIs on the Rams to go uncalled, each of which is immediately followed by a Brady TD pass to the targeted receiver.

PedraMartina said:

I am pretty stunned by the majority wish here for a blowout, given the rules of the thought experiment. Obviously that’s what we all wish for now, because a blowout provides the highest probability of actually ending up with a W when the clock hits 0:00. But if you knew that the Pats are going to win, I would argue that the only people who could make any case for choosing a blowout are those who have a reasonable belief that they might actually suffer a heart attack otherwise. I am, frankly, appalled by all of the, “Let it be a blowout so I can relax for a few hours” talk. You want to trade in the opportunity for greater all-time historical Pats glory so you can relax a bit for a few hours? Really?

Think about it for a second: imagine Brady, Bill, and the Pats’ historical legacy if they were to engineer a bigger comeback than against Atlanta. Those are the most celebrated, best remembered games, and the legacies of everybody involved are heightened accordingly. Of course we should pick the most insane, utterly improbable comeback, one which both exceeds the sheer ground made up of Atlanta, and includes a single play with a greater win probability swing than Butler, plus some other utterly ridiculous stuff that would elevate others on the team to greater glory, and make the game, beyond any argument, the single greatest game and team performance in NFL—no, all sports—history.

Sheesh.

(And for those of you who would argue that a blowout will somehow “validate” the Pats’ greatness in the eyes of anybody but the already-converted, I have a few bridges to sell you.)

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I really have no idea why you don't get the joke.

A blowout isn't only about being able to relax. It's about a sustained five hour call your doctor raging sports hard on. A big giant Sportsgasm. The only time I can remember that happening in a title game (and I am NOT complaining here) was the Cs blowout of the Lakers in Game 6 in 2008. I spent that game laughing, hugging my brother, drinking way too much beer and generally in a state of pure pleasure.

I want THAT. I have experienced plenty of cool, amazing last second SB wins and losses. Hell, the most comfortable Pats SB win was over the Iggles and they had the damn ball with the chance to score and win on a bomb at the end. I haven't experienced the back slapping, hugs, gatorade bath, joy celebration.

Now let's be clear, a win is a win and I will very gladly take ANY win. But my fantasy and desire is for a blow out and I am stunned that you or anyone cannot fully understand that thinking, even if you don't share it.

BlackJack said:

In my wish casting, I don't want to know the outcome before the game starts.

If I know the final score, my enjoyment of the game is greatly reduced. Hell if it's a regular season game that I DVR'd because I was busy at 1 pm and I find out the score somehow, I'm just as likely to delete it as I am to watch it.

It's true that the tight games are exciting but if you know for a fact which team is going to win, the takes most of the excitement out of it. Hell, if all you want to do is be guaranteed that they win before you watch it, either re-watch one of the old ones or record the game and only watch if they win.

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Right—in my version of this thought experiment (which I weirdly engage in all the time—maybe we all do?), you forget that you were able to choose the outcome, and you get to experience it as it happens. So it’s terrifying, but that terror is redeeemed, and then some, by the final outcome (just as in Atlanta/Seattle etc.). I enjoy watching blowouts, but I much prefer watching incredible, historic comebacks—even though they seem to take a few years off my life.

When the Pats are losing, or when the game is super-tight, I get angry at every little thing. That's one thing when I'm watching alone, or with just my wife (who gets it). But for the Super Bowl, my kids will be watching, we will have friends over, etc. I'd really like a game where I can watch the game happily and comfortably, while I can enjoy an adult beverage, eat some food, and talk to people rationally about the game. Hell, it might even be fun to talk about the commercials.

Although a blowout would be hard to pass up, as I could actually eat some food, watch commercials, and be a normal person. I don't even know how I would begin to handle that. Probably just keep repeating "this game is NOT over" to myself, even up 28 with 3 minutes to go.

I think a game that involves another Brady 2 minute masterpiece to go ahead, but this time with only like 6 seconds left would be my choice. That would be nice.

Just win

45-7 good guys. The collective fraying of the nerves needs a break.

34-26. Pats.

Saints Rest said:

When the Pats are losing, or when the game is super-tight, I get angry at every little thing. That's one thing when I'm watching alone, or with just my wife (who gets it). But for the Super Bowl, my kids will be watching, we will have friends over, etc. I'd really like a game where I can watch the game happily and comfortably, while I can enjoy an adult beverage, eat some food, and talk to people rationally about the game. Hell, it might even be fun to talk about the commercials.

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What's funny is the most relaxed I've felt during a Pats SB was when I thought it was over against Atlanta. Was drinking, having a good time with family, etc.

In most of these games I'm sitting there making mental notes of the small moments that I know will drive me nuts for 10 years if they end up losing.

I want to have at least a 2 TD cushion all game (I mean, obviously we have to get to 1 TD cushion first).

CaptainLaddie said:

Pats have yet to get a TD in the first quarter of a Brady SB. Just FYI.

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Yeah that's what I said. I would just love to see them score in the 1st quarter.

I'd love a ridiculous Pats blowout while Brady breaks more records and Trey Flowers is double teamed all game and held silent to depress his FA value.

PedraMartina said:

I am pretty stunned by the majority wish here for a blowout, given the rules of the thought experiment. Obviously that’s what we all wish for now, because a blowout provides the highest probability of actually ending up with a W when the clock hits 0:00. But if you knew that the Pats are going to win, I would argue that the only people who could make any case for choosing a blowout are those who have a reasonable belief that they might actually suffer a heart attack otherwise. I am, frankly, appalled by all of the, “Let it be a blowout so I can relax for a few hours” talk. You want to trade in the opportunity for greater all-time historical Pats glory so you can relax a bit for a few hours? Really?

Think about it for a second: imagine Brady, Bill, and the Pats’ historical legacy if they were to engineer a bigger comeback than against Atlanta. Those are the most celebrated, best remembered games, and the legacies of everybody involved are heightened accordingly. Of course we should pick the most insane, utterly improbable comeback, one which both exceeds the sheer ground made up of Atlanta, and includes a single play with a greater win probability swing than Butler, plus some other utterly ridiculous stuff that would elevate others on the team to greater glory, and make the game, beyond any argument, the single greatest game and team performance in NFL—no, all sports—history.

Sheesh.

(And for those of you who would argue that a blowout will somehow “validate” the Pats’ greatness in the eyes of anybody but the already-converted, I have a few bridges to sell you.)

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This is a special grade of bullshit.

I root for my team, therefore I want my team to win. Points are good, more points is better, the most points is best. Whatever the "most points" is, I want the Patriots to score that, then add a FU touchdown on top of it.

Fuck outta here with this garbage.

I want to see some records broken in my blow-out win fantasy.
Possibilities could include:

• Most points scored by one team: 55
• Fewest points by one team (it would be nice to see the Pats D get a record): 3
• Largest margin of victory: 45 (so break the first two, and the third is assured!)

This possibly belongs in the Nation's Tears or the Yankees/Greed thread, but here's where I'm at: I know from being a Patriots fan what it is like to be a Trump voter. Because I know that after a certain point, the Patriots gave me all the joy I could possibly get from a team. But combine that with the vitriol that we've gotten as Pats fans - and by the way, I know, cry me a fucking river, Pats fans - and I just want to watch the world burn. All the heckling and the Drew Magarys of the world telling me I'm a bad person for rooting for the Pats - of which I assume 99% to be in jest and the remainder to come from people who are otherwise imbalanced so you can't really worry about it or take it seriously - has me playing along. I'm sort of like, fine! You want the Patriots to be villains? I will embrace the villainy.

The cognitive dissonance is that when I see this in our national discourse, it disgusts me, and there is at least a hypothetical hypocrisy because I'm taking the "I just wanna wreck everything"/"OWN THE LIBS" mentality that I criticize in politics and turning right around and applying it to my football team of choice. It certainly doesn't help that Kraft, BB, and Brady seem pretty cozy with Trump himself. Granted, I'm applying it to a goddamn game, not to people's actual lives - I don't want Rams fans, say, put in cages or disenfranchised - but it's the same sort of backlash response of "oh, you say I'm bad? WATCH ME BE REALLY BAD THEN."

So yeah. For me I've embraced pure misanthropy. Like, I don't want to ruin people's lives, but I do want to ruin their Super Bowl Sunday. I get satisfaction from their frustration. So in wishcasting, I just want the Patriots to, in the words of a recent MAGA-ite, "hurt the people they're supposed to be hurting." What would make that best? A thrashing of the Rams that sets records. Don't think it'll happen, but that's what I'm rooting for.

Sony runs for 130 yards and 3 TDs and James White catches 8 passes for 110, Pats win by 2 TDs. Everyone continues to blurt about how running backs are not important in the modern NFL. They do matter, teams are bad at picking them, they get hurt a lot, and their performance is dependent on a lot of other players. Do the 2015 Pats win the AFC championship with a back as good as Sony Michel? Maybe.

ifmanis5 said:

46-10. Sadly, it's the only Pats final score I can recall.
I am up to speed on 28-3, though.

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I am sure no one here needed to be reminded of that score

1.) Next Wednesday, a Super Bowl ticket and trip accomodations fall into my lap. Maybe I win a contest or something.
2.) In Atlanta, the evening before the game, I bump into Ivan Fears in a hotel lobby and we hit it off. He invites me to take the bus over to the stadium with him the following morning and hang out before the game.
3.) Walking into the stadium before the game, I see Gronk and he looks troubled. Something is concerning him. My buddy Ivan tells me Gronk is being tortured by a trivia question that came up at the team breakfast having to do with US Presidents and Super Bowl quarterbacks. He knows three... but can't get the fourth and it's distracting him from his pregame prep. The team is scouring the internets and summons Ernie Adams, but nobody knows the answer.
4.) I tell Fears I know, and he brings me over to Gronk to fill him in. Gronk is instantly relieved, and proceeds to have the greatest Super Bowl ever played by a receiver as the Pats cruise to victory.
5.) Gronk tells Fears to go find me after the game and pulls me on stage as he receives the MVP trophy from Jim Nantz. "Mugsy here was the key to our victory", Gronk smiles. "He gets the truck. I never knew Ben Roethlisberger won a Super Bowl."

Mugsy's Jock said:

Gronk smiles. "He gets the truck. I never knew Ben Roethlisberger won a Super Bowl."

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Who pays the tax on the truck?

Rams score TD on first drive, and one late. Ass kicking in between with the first non-cardiac filled event for the fans in the dynasty's reign.

Old Fart Tree said:

So yeah. For me I've embraced pure misanthropy. Like, I don't want to ruin people's lives, but I do want to ruin their Super Bowl Sunday. I get satisfaction from their frustration. So in wishcasting, I just want the Patriots to, in the words of a recent MAGA-ite, "hurt the people they're supposed to be hurting." What would make that best? A thrashing of the Rams that sets records. Don't think it'll happen, but that's what I'm rooting for.

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I mean, I think I first saw this on your facebook several years ago, but:

FatChicksUnited said:

Hoyer's not seeing the field, blowout or not.

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Let's pray this is the case

cgori said:

I mean, I think I first saw this on your facebook several years ago, but:

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Sounds like something I'd do.

Valek123 said:

Rams score TD on first drive, and one late. Ass kicking in between with the first non-cardiac filled event for the fans in the dynasty's reign.

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You can wish for whatever you want, but since this exercise says it will definitely happen, why would you wish for the Rams to score on their first drive?

Old Fart Tree said:

So yeah. For me I've embraced pure misanthropy. Like, I don't want to ruin people's lives, but I do want to ruin their Super Bowl Sunday. I get satisfaction from their frustration. So in wishcasting, I just want the Patriots to, in the words of a recent MAGA-ite, "hurt the people they're supposed to be hurting." What would make that best? A thrashing of the Rams that sets records. Don't think it'll happen, but that's what I'm rooting for.

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I think the Falcons Super Bowl ruined more people's day than a blow out would. People were thrilled that the Patriots were getting killed. Then that happened.

Probably true. But they had that against Seattle too. This time I want a laugher so they can't even enjoy the game. Turn it off in the second quarter.

I'm a vindictive misanthrope.

Exactly. I want to ruin everyone’s Super Bowl party from the get-go.

DennyDoyle'sBoil said:

I would like to see a very hard earned defensive stop with a lead to end the game and then three kneel downs.

There have been a few big games the Patriots could have won with a stop and they didn't get it done and either lost or had to win with Brady. I would just like to see the Patriots score to take a lead and then kick off with 2:00 left and the other team out of time outs and then a big ass stuff on fourth down, so Brady can come out and enjoy victory formation.

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Brady finished the game v. Seattle with a neal-down after a pretty dramatic defensive stop....

BaseballJones said:

Trying to be realistic here. Obviously want a Pats win in any fashion possible. But if I had my druthers...

I'd want the Patriots to start out strong. Either they get the ball first, march down the field and put up a TD, or if they play D first, get a quick 3-and-out and then march down the field for a TD. Then I'd like to see them extend the lead in the second quarter and be up by 10+ points at the half.

I'd like it extended in the third quarter so they enter the fourth up 17+ points or so. I'm fine with the Rams scoring a TD like with 10 minutes left, making it still a game, one that the Patriots need to finish. But then I'd like to see a long, punishing, game-clinching TD drive to put them back up 17 with a few minutes left. The Rams score a garbage time TD to make it a 10 point game again, and maybe even get the ball back with less than a minute to go, come down and maybe even get another score to make the final score look relatively close. But I want the actual game to be not as close as the score indicates.

Particulars...

I want Brady to throw for 300+ yards and win another MVP.
I want a Gronk TD.
I want a clean game by Brady - no turnovers and at least 65% completions.
I want at least one or two amazing plays...not just run-of-the-mill swing passes or whatever.

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Basically this. Id like it to be ‘competitive’ but only just. Like, never less than a 10 point lead after the 1st q, or maybe down to 7 but always the Pats with the ball and scoring to put it back to double digits.

On the particulars I’d be thrilled to see a great bunch of Brady passes that end up in goal line situations. First time, on the one, Brady audibles to a qb sneak for a TD. Second time: sneak. Third time: they pack the box, TB audibles to play action, but ends up scrambling in for the TD. etc.

TB ends up with 5 TD’s on 4 yds rushing (because he gets stopped on a sneak on 2nd and inches, for a loss of a yard but then quick snaps for a successful sneak).

He also kneeled vs the Eagles

Oh and PS for me: I want (at least) one more Gronk Fucking Spike.