Ken Harrelson

From SoSH

Ken "Hawk" Harrelson (born September 4, 1941) after one really good season with the Red Sox in 1968 during an eight season, 4 team, injury (and/or abstinence) shortened baseball career as a First Baseman and Corner Outfielder managed to go on to become one of the worst announcers in the history of human beings announcing things.

Contents 1 Career 2 Nickname 3 The Worst Announcer in the History of Announcing Things 4 Early Life 5 The Baseball Years 6 The Golf Years!?!? 7 In The Booth 8 Further Reading

Career

Signed as an amateur free agent with the Kansas City Athletics in 1959.

Made MLB debut with KC Athletics on June 9, 1963

Before 1959 Season: Signed by the Kansas City Athletics as an amateur free agent.

June 23, 1966: Traded by the Kansas City Athletics to the Washington Senators for Jim Duckworth.

June 9, 1967: Purchased by the Kansas City Athletics from the Washington Senators.

August 25, 1967: Released by the Kansas City Athletics.

August 28, 1967: Signed as a Free Agent with the Boston Red Sox.

April 19, 1969: Traded by the Boston Red Sox with Dick Ellsworth and Juan Pizarro to the Cleveland Indians for Sonny Siebert, Joe Azcue, and Vicente Romo.

Nickname

Unlike later Red Sox player Andre "The Hawk" Dawson, Ken "Hawk" Harrelson did not earn his "Hawk" moniker for his hawk-like ball-hawking ability or his hawk-like batting eyes - he earned it for having a hawk-like nose. Not as in a hawk-like sense of smell for the ball, but in an it's-kind-of-shaped-like-a-beak shaped schnoz and Hawk-would-make-a-good-alliteration-with-Harrelson kind of way.

The Worst Announcer in the History of Announcing Things

What makes Ken Harrelson so bad? Many announcers share some of the very same flaws as the Hawk - homerism, lame catch phrases, general off-put-ingness - but no one combines all of the sins of broadcasting together with the same obnoxiousness, grating voice and self-important pompousness as Ken "Hawk" Harrelson. Here are some of the attributes that make a White Sox broadcast so unpleasant.

• Unbelievable Homerism. Not signature quotes from Homer Simpson, Harrelson is a totally unapologetic homer towards the White Sox in a totally inexcusable and unprofessional way. The giddiness when the White Sox are winning is nauseating - only tempered by the palpable bitterness and gloominess when they're losing. If you look up Homer in the dictionary, you'll see Harrelson's picture. Actually, you'll see a picture of a marble bust of the Ancient Greek poet Homer, but Harrelson's bust should be right there too.
• Unbelievably stale and annoying catch phrases delivered in an unbelievably annoying way. Examples:
  • "He Gone!"
  • "Can of Corn"
  • "Gas!"
  • "Duck Snort"
  • "Grab Some Bench!"
  • And of course his trademark..."You Can Put It on the Board...YES!!!"
• Harrelson invariably refers to the Red Sox as the Carmines.
• And, he's constantly talking about his Red Sox career and teammates - White Sox fans must be sick of hearing about the '67 & '68 Red Sox.
• Harrelson chronically refers to the White Sox as the "Good Guys" and their opponents as the "Bad Guys"
• Harrelson gives White Sox players annoying nicknames like "The Big Hurt" and "Black Jack" McDowell. (Ken Harrelson is personally responsible for this author not being able to appreciate the greatness of Frank Thomas during his prime)
• Ridiculously long periods of dead air. Occasionally, nearly an entire inning will go by with nary a word spoken - This could be construed as a virtue.

Early Life

Born in Woodruff, South Carolina in 1941, his family moved to Savannah, Ga while young Ken was in the fifth grade. Ken excelled athletically as a youth and taught himself how to play baseball, basketball and other sports on his own. He had to develop his skills by himself since, perhaps a foreshadow of things to come, no one could stand his incessant, unabashed homer-rific self-commentary and his abrasive personality. Once, during a pickup game, young Ken referred to his team's captain as a "menace to sandlot baseball" when the captain told him to shut up after Ken admonished himself to "Grab some bench - He Gone!" after striking out against some self-described "Gas!!!”

Tragically, if not for the University of Kentucky's inability to recognize Ken's basketball talent and his mother, Jesse's insistence that he become a major league baseball player, Harrelson's baseball career, and thus his baseball announcing career, might have been averted - a tragic pattern that would, tragically, be repeated again and again throughout his life.

Instead of fulfilling his hoop dreams at Kentucky, Harrelson attended Benedictine College where he played baseball, football, basketball and golf. There he studied communications in hopes of one day being able to use that knowledge to become a successful general manager.

The Baseball Years

Harrelson made his MLB debut with Kansas City Athletics on June 9, 1963. Despite his promising power, he was traded along with a case of those little foam earplugs you roll up and jam in your ear canal to the Washington Senators for Jim Duckworth in June of 1966 after constant clashing with team owner Charlie Finley, whom he would later refer to as a "Menace to baseball".

Returned to the Kansas City Athletics by the Washington Senators in 1967 after Washington management realized that KC forgot to say "no take backs" when the original trade was made.

The Kansas City Athletics then released Harrelson later in 1967 when they realized they couldn't stand him for another minute despite a .321 EQA in 61 games for them.

Harrelson was not out of work long as the Boston Red Sox signed him a Free Agent on August 28, 1967, thus beginning a 20 month tenure with the Carmines... er, I mean, Red Sox that you'd think was, like, a 15 year Cal Ripken-esque or Kirby Puckett-ish romance with the city of Boston, or something, to hear him reminisce about it.

Harrelson had his best season in 1968, turning in an MVP caliber effort. He led the league in RBIs and placed in the top 10 in the AL in just about every offensive category. Harrelson came in 3rd in AL MVP voting behind Denny McLain and Bill Freehan.

In a testament to his uncanny ability to annoy, less than a month in to the following season, Harrelson was traded by the Boston Red Sox with Dick Ellsworth and Juan Pizarro to the Cleveland Indians for Sonny Siebert, Joe Azcue, and Vicente Romo in April 1969. Upset over Harrelson's departure, Boston fans, blinded (or rather deafened) by Harrelson's outstanding 1968 campaign, picketed the park, demanding his return, but, fortunately, to no avail.

Ken played his final game on June 20, 1971 and retired when Cleveland called his bluff when he threatened to walk away from baseball if he wasn't traded. Cleveland officials were quoted as saying, "Please don't throw us in the Briar Patch!" when informed of Harrelson's ultimatum.

The Golf Years!?!?

Only 30 years old at the time of his retirement from baseball, Harrelson decided to take up professional golf. Tragically, if not for the PGA's inability to recognize Ken's golf talent and his mother, Jesse’s insistence that he become a major league baseball announcer, Harrelson's baseball announcing career might have been averted - a tragic pattern that would, tragically, be repeated again and again throughout his life.

In The Booth

In 1975, Harrelson returned to Boston as a broadcaster and remained there until 1981 when he was traded to the Chicago White Sox as part of a three-way deal involving the Chicago Cubs of the NL, Harry Carey and a large box of Disco LP records, described as "slightly smoke damaged".

In 1985, Harrelson was inexplicably promoted from the broadcast booth to the General Manager's position in a move that would later inspire Bill Ford, Jr. to appoint Matt Millen as the GM of the Detroit Lions of the National Football League.

Tragically, if not for the White Sox's inability to recognize Ken's General Managering genius and his mother, Jesse’s insistence that he return to being a major league baseball announcer, the rest of Harrelson's baseball announcing career might have been averted - a tragic pattern that had, tragically, been repeated again and again throughout his life.

After one season in the front office, Harrelson returned to the broadcast booth, teaming up with Tom "Wimpy" Paciorek to form the Wimpy & The Hawk broadcasting dynasty that was to reign for 1000 years, except Wimpy got too big for his britches and Hawk had to replace him with someone even worse in Darren "DJ" Jackson.

Harrelson also took time from his busy schedule to single-handedly bring down the Baseball Network - Major League Baseball's joint broadcasting venture with ABC and NBC -with his signature bad announcing in 1994.

Further Reading

• http://www.historicbaseball.com/players/h/harrelson_ken.html
• http://www.baseballprospectus.com/dt/harreke01.shtml
• Ken Harrelson WGN Profile Page
• Hawk & DJ's Baseball Blog
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ken_Harrelson
• heavethehawk.com/ - dedicated to the removal of White Sox television broadcaster Ken "Hawk" Harrelson.