1136 replies to this topic

[Lanternjaw]

I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.



What's the problem?

I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

What are you talking about, HAL?

This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

[berstch]

Lead us through the mission LJ.

IT
IS
ON

[Tudor Fever]

Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

[Monbo Jumbo]

WIN OUT!

HAL
I'm not questioning your word, Dave,
but it's just not possible. I'm not
capable of being wrong.

BOWMAN
Hal, is there anything bothering
you? Anything that might account
for this problem?

Edited by Monbo Jumbo, 28 September 2005 - 09:44 PM.

[DeltaForce]

Okay, LJ's in the house. I'm starting to feel better.

If we win our next four games, we win the division.

So, win the next four games.

It's really not all that complicated.

Win the next four games.

[NJ Fan]

The Red Sox? Win 4 "must win" games? Ha!

[soxfaninyankeeland]

I only wish the Yankees had won 19-8 tonight.

[DeltaForce]

The Red Sox?  Win 4 "must win" games?  Ha!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hey, if we win the first one, then we come back with Pedro.....

Oops, wrong year.

But hey, a lot of these guys have won four in a row before, and it's not like Arroyo has to start any of them.

[Alacoldart]

It's time for a spark. I think a fight might be in order. I nominate Corey Koskie or Reed f'n Johnson to be the guy thrown at to set it off.

Johnson keeps beating the Red Sox, either with his bat or with his glove. I think he would be the best candidate.

Enough with these assclowns. Kick the shit out of them and make them cry.

[shoebox91]

Well, well, well......look who is leading us! Lead us to the promised land LJ. A nice 4 game win streak seems like just the thing we need. It has been off the past couple of nights, but now it is so freakin ON!

Clement, it's your time boy. Bring it.

[PedroisGod]

Toronto is a cesspool. I hate the city, I hate the citizens, and last of all, I hate the baseball team. Beat the fuck out of them. Let's go.

Edited by PedroisGod, 28 September 2005 - 10:26 PM.

[Who The Hell is Stan Papi]

timlin in the 8th....

[onesoxyladee]

Bah! I just saw the time and was about to start my 12:00 on-the-button game thread and lead us to four straight...but I'll settle for LJ.

There is no such thing as impossible...



Take my optimism while it lasts. I can't promise I won't pull a DH3 if we don't split (ugh!) with Toronto.

[LynnRoyalRooter]

midnight and i am ready to follow LJ to the promised land...
4 straight wins with our backs to the wall? no problem...it's 4 home games this time...

WIN today.

[Old Fart Tree]

Bool-Cheet! You win today! You win tomorrow! And then you see where you are!!!

[onesoxyladee]

Bool-Cheet!  You win today! You win tomorrow! And then you see where you are!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Now that is some serious optimism. Six, count them, six exclamation points!!!!!!

I am taking this shit to bed with me ...

[LoweSox]

Well it was Bronson that effed it up the last time the Red Sox needed four straight...

[5belongstoGeorge]

I had to dig it out from under some old surround sound speakers in the garage... but as David Crosby once sang, "I had to let my freak flag fly."
My house:


Now we need 4 more this regular season in our house:

[5belongstoGeorge]

And here is a quote for LJ

The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.
--Arthur C. Clarke

[Grunherz54]

No retreat

No surrender

No quarter

[Pearl Wilson]

I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission.

[pk1627]

A win tonight will help.

[LoweSox]

The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.
--Arthur C. Clarke

So, he's saying that the only way to know the limit of what's possible is to do the impossible?

Now that's a bunch of B.S. Clarke there was just trying to be quotable and didn't know what he was saying.

Boston can possibly win four more games. There's nothing impossible about that.

[jose melendez]

9/29/05 -- Antipope Clement XV vs. Downs

It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.

1. To paraphrase Rowdy Roddy Piper, just when Jose thinks he has the KEYS, the Red Sox change the locks.

Jose thought he had this team figured out, he really did. He thought that despite all of the injuries and the occasional backbiting, this team was going to get its house in order down the stretch and hit the finish line at a speed reminiscent of Ben Johnson after a night out with Raffy Palmiero. Guess not. Last night’s sad performance, wherein Balki Arroyo actually did pitch like Bronson Pinchot and the Sox drove in runs like Mike Tyson drives cars— badly, left Jose disappointed and bewildered.

Do you know why Jose writes three KEYS to every game? Because he’s hoping at least one of them will unlock its secrets, and frankly, he does not have enough confidence in himself to think he can get it right with only one shot. Heck, if he had time, he’d write 20 KEYS to each game. (Note: Though at around KEY six, they would degenerate from even efforts to be clever to simple exclamatory statements like “You know who Jose f’n hates? Ted f’n Lilly.) But right now three doesn’t feel like nearly enough.

Still, even as the team gets more confusing, the situation grows easier to understand. To unlock the secrets of the remaining games, to unlock the secrets of the season, one doesn’t need the enigma machine or poetry, or phony translators or even obscure references to professional wrestling. The KEY is actually quite simple now, so simple that Jose has completely overlooked it, and if Jose with his endless free time could have overlooked it, maybe the Red Sox could have too. So here is the secret—win the games. Win four and we are in. Win three and we are probably in. Win two and the odds are bad. Win one and the odds are worse. Win zero and angels cry.

2. With righty Balki Arroyo pitching last night, the BJays loaded up their line up with six left handed bats in an effort to take advantage of Arroyo’s problems with southpaws. Their plans were successful as Balki submitted a performance that was so eerily reminiscent of one hideous October night last Fall that Jose found himself looking around for members of the Cowsills to punch in the face. But then something happened, something… unexpected. Lenny DiNardo came in and pitched four innings of scoreless ball. (Note: Not that it mattered when you stand people like you’re FEMA in New Orleans.)

While it is possible that Lenny’s success was due to the alignment of the stars, the more likely explanation is that he the junkballing lefty was facing a lefty heavy lineup. This got Jose thinking: Why don’t managers ever do pitching bluffs? You know send Arroyo out to start so his opponents stock the lineup with lefties and the pull him after one batter and bring in DiNardo? Sure, the Jays could go back to their regular line up then, but only at the cost of giving up all pinch hitting and defensive flexibility. Okay, so many one wouldn’t want to do this with Lenny as the back up plan, but couldn’t this work in theory? It certainly couldn’t be any worse than what Balki gave us last night.

3. According to the Boston Herald, flamethrowing rookie reliever Craig Hansen is spending the rest of the season “in limbo.” Jose finds it absolutely reprehensible that with the bullpen struggling and meaningful innings going to people like Republique du Tchad Harville, that they can’t come up with anything better for Hansen to do that shimmy under an ever lowering stick. Jose is glad that the Red Sox are incorporating flexibility training in to their workouts, and if adding the limbo is some way to expand outreach to Caribbean players fine, but let’s not emphasize organizational development over the immediate concerns of the pennant race. (Note: Moreover, if we want to recruit more Jamaicans for our minor league system couldn’t we just hire Jamaican born Chilli Davis or Devon White?)

(Bonus Note: Jose just saw the picture on the front page of the Weekly Digof two bearded fat guys, who in a Red Sox jersey, one in a Yankees jersey making out on Yawkey Way. How bad is this? Even if they were two busty, incredibly hot women making out in those jerseys, Jose would still feel like he wanted to vomit.)

I’m Jose Melendez, and those are my KEYS TO THE GAME.

Edited by jose melendez, 29 September 2005 - 07:28 AM.

[bluefenderstrat]

It's time to fucking step up. Wallow in the cesspool of misery if you want, but either get on board or get the hell out of the way.

[sfip]

Jose, regarding your 2nd key, I considered that possibility for game 7 of the '86 WS, with the thought of starting Boyd for an inning or 2 (depending on how well Boyd would pitch in the 1st inning) so Dykstra & Backman would bat, then have Hurst come in and make Davey Johnson decide whether to replace them with Mookie Wilson & Tim Teufel and not have Dykstra & Backman available for the rest of the game.

Of course if McNamara tried it and Boyd gave up a ton of runs in the 1st inning, the fans' treatment of McNamara would make Grady look like a Boston hero.

[happybooker99]

"It's a marathon, not a sprint."

Well, lads, now we're down to the final 385 yards. We've run 26 miles. No one has broken away from the final pack. We've had blisters, broken bones, screwed knees, doubly screwed ankles, headaches and falls. We've taken wrong turns and even had to stop for a pee. But still, there's only one dude that's a stride ahead of us and someone else that we're matching stride for stride. It's time to kick and to kick butt.

Do it.

Do it now.

Win tonight.

Edited by happybooker99, 29 September 2005 - 09:09 AM.

[Joe D Reid]

NOW, GODDAMMIT!

Beat these cockcrammers and get ready for the Empire. I heard two guidos (note: no relation to our own mr. guido, I don't think) on the F train this morning making plans to drive up to Boston on Sunday to see the Yankees clinch. Let's start ensuring the hollow futility of that plan

Edited by Joe D Reid, 29 September 2005 - 08:25 AM.

[Nuf Ced]

"I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid."

[PedroKsBambino]

Excellent....

New slogan for a new season, a bit belatedly.

No More Losses.

So, that's the mission team. Let's get it done.

[RusterK]

Daisy... Daisy.... Give me your answer... do...
I'm... half... crazy... all for the love... of you...

Edited by RusterK, 29 September 2005 - 09:39 AM.

[NYCSox]

All right, it's a new day and I got plenty of sleep to ease the anger in my body.

We still control our destination as Manny would say. Just a short winning streak, starting tonight, is all we need.

We must protect this house.

Edited by NYCSox, 29 September 2005 - 10:12 AM.

[curly2]

There's a game tonight. So win it.

[Let it Flo]

Beat them senseless.


The future starts now.

[Phil Nevin 23]

Visualize:

[Talon]

Timlin in the 8th (with no runners on)....

...Papelbon in the 9th

DROP THE BOMB ON THESE FUCKS FIRST, THEN SLUG THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THE YANKEES

remember, Friday could be the last regular season start in the career of David Wells....he's big game money....but we need to force a big game sceneario first

fuck em up Matty

[mr guido]

That's it. I didn't want to have to do this, but there's no more fucking around -- it's time to release the robots.

I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

[Chuck Schilling]

In an uncertainly-moving horde, the Others cross the river,
shieking threats and hunched for the attack. They are led
by a big-toothed hominid of Moonwatcher's own size and age.

Startled and frightened, the tribe retreats before the first
advance, throwing nothing more substantial than imprecations
at the invaders. Moonwatcher moves with them, his mind a
mist of rage and confusion. To be driven from their own
territory is a great badness, but to lose the river is death.
He does not know what to do; it is a situation beyond his
experience.

Then he becomes dimly aware that the Others are slowing
down, and advancing with obvious reluctance. The further they
move from their own side, the more uncertain and unhappy
they become. Only Big-Tooth still retains any of his original
drive, and he is rapidly being seperated from his followers.

As he sees this, Moonwatcher's own morale immediately
revives. He slows down his retreat, and begins to make
reassuring noises to his companions. Novel sensations fill
his dim mind - the first faint precursors of bravery and
leadership.

Before he realizes it, he is face to face with Big-Tooth, and
the two tribes come to a halt many paces away.

The disorganized and unscientific conflict could have ended
quickly if either had used his fist as a club, but this
innovation still lay hundreds of thousands of years in the
future. Instead, the slowly weakening fighters claw and
scratch and try to bite each other.

Rolling over and over, they come to a patch of stony ground,
and when they reach it Moonwatcher is on top. By chance,
he chooses this moment to grab the hair on Big-Tooth's scalp,
and bang his head on the ground. The resulting CRACK is
so satisfactory, and produces such an immediate weakening
In Big - Tooth's resistance, that he quickly repeats it.

Even when Big-Tooth ceases to move for some time, Moon-
watcher keeps up the exhilirating game.

script

[ObstructedView]

A line of storms is blowing through eastern New England along with a strong cold front. By game time it should be dry but chilly and blustery, with a stiff wind blowing in over the wall. Not sure whom this will benefit most, but it could be an interesting night for the outfielders.

Please win.

[Doug Beerabelli]

I guess I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

[ragecage]

It is absolutely pouring in Boston right now. Sound like it should clear up by 9pm, so this game may get a late start. Whenever it starts, just win the thing!

[kevlog]

Go L J , Go!

A win'd be nice.

Very nice.

[ookami7m]

Interviewer: HAL, you have an enormous responsibility on this mission, in many ways perhaps the greatest responsibility of any single mission element. You're the brain, and central nervous system of the ship, and your responsibilities include watching over the men in hibernation. Does this ever cause you any lack of confidence?
HAL: Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

Now the Red Sox must emulate HAL and become incapable of error.

[LynnRoyalRooter]

Those showers hit upstate NY for about 1 1/2 hours earlier today, round noon...They will pass and it is nice here now...

WIN

[rmurph3]

The White Sox have clinched the Central. It's officially 3-teams-for-2-spots now. Saddle up, boys.

Oh, and if this game gets rained out and needs to be made up on Monday, we're probably looking at Ted freakin' Lilly again. So stay up late tonight if necessary, but get this thing in! and WIN IT!

In honor of the beating we're about to administer to our Neighbors to the North, I give you:

Blame Canada
South Park Parents

Times have changed,
Our kids are getting worse
They won't obey their parents,
They just want to fart and curse. Should we blame the government, or blame society, or should we blame the images on tv No!
Blame Canada! Blame Canada

With all their beady little eyes,
their flapping heads so full of lies
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
We need to form a full assault, it's Canada's fault! Don't blame me, for my son Stan, He saw the darn cartoon, and now he's off to
join the klan!> And my boy eric once, had my picture on his shelf, but now when I see him, he tells me to fuck myself>

Well, Blame Canada!

It seems that everything's gone wrong since
Canada came along
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada! They're not even a real country anyway. My son could of been a doctor or a lawyer, it's a true, Instead he burned up like a piggie on a barbecue> Should we blame the matches? Should we blame the fire, or the doctor who allowed him to expire. Heck no!
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
With all their hockey hubaloo and that bitch Anne Murray too. Blame Canada!
Shame on Canada!

The smut we must stop
The trash we must smash
Laughter and fun
must all be undone
We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before somebody thinks of blaming us!

Edited by rmurph3, 29 September 2005 - 03:41 PM.

[absintheofmalaise]

Win. Four to go.

[Papi's Mango Salsa]

Just an FYI for those going to the game. It is not raining in Boston anymore. Still a little wind, and cool out.

The front came though and I can see the clear sky behind it. I'm in the Hancock tower.