It's starting to get to the point where I can't tell if you're saying things simply to be snarky, or if you actually believe them. Would you support a closer by committee?
That's not even remotely close to what he's saying. You complain about him being snarky or contrarian or whatever then try to pigeonhole his post into something ridiculous you can disagree with. What he's saying is that good relievers are good relievers and this belief that a good reliever can only close if he has that certain something is akin to believing in magic. Uehara has a higher k/9 in high leverage innings over his career (11.35) and was actually very solid in closing games for Baltimore in 2010, recording 13 saves. His career ERA in save situations is 2.15. There is no reason to believe that having less career saves (a function of opportunity) than Hanrahan makes him less well suited for the role.
And that Tazawa has not closed games yet does not, in any way suggest that he is not suited for the job, either. If this was the case, Papelbon should never have been given an opportunity to save games since he had no saves to his name when the Sox slotted him into that role.
A lack of saves means next to nothing when talking about depth behind Bailey.