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Bartolo Colon Fails MLB Drug Test


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#1 SoxScout


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:24 PM

Veteran Oakland Athletics pitcher Bartolo Colon failed an MLB drug test and is subject to a 50-game suspension, CBSSports.com has learned.

http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/blog/jon-heyman/19867752/bartolo-colon-fails-mlb-drug-test-in-line-for-50-game-suspension

#2 TheYellowDart5


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:26 PM

Shocking that a 39-year-old who weighs as much as a pickup truck and had arm troubles for years yet somehow came back to baseball throwing darts in the mid-90s would fail a drug test. Utterly shocking.

#3 Corsi


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:30 PM

BREAKING: A's RHP Bartolo Colon suspended 50 games without pay after testing positive for Testosterone, a performance-enhancing substance.


"Testosterone? I thought it said Tostitos."

#4 mt8thsw9th


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:32 PM

Wait, I thought it was stem cells that helped him bounce back at 38, 6 years after his last effective season in the majors?

http://sonsofsamhorn...age__p__3514997

#5 EddieYost


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:37 PM

Seems like all the juicers are former Yankees. Coincidence?

#6 AMS25

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:37 PM

As fans lose their claims to moral superiority over Giants fans. Still juicin' it up in the Bay Area.

#7 lostjumper

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:38 PM

Shocking that a 39-year-old who weighs as much as a pickup truck and had arm troubles for years yet somehow came back to baseball throwing darts in the mid-90s would fail a drug test. Utterly shocking.


But I was told that steroids don't help you?

#8 JohntheBaptist


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:39 PM

The fact that he was able to throw 165 innings last year (and another ~160 so far this year) should have made it completely obvious. He was completely out of baseball because he couldn't, over a few year span, stay on the field, for obvious reasons once you looked at him.

#9 Royal Reader

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:41 PM

As fans lose their claims to moral superiority over Giants fans. Still juicin' it up in the Bay Area.


They ever had it? The Bash Brothers era A's were probably the most roided up teams of all time.

#10 E5 Yaz


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:42 PM

Lucky for Oakland they just got Anderson back last night.

#11 Hendu's Gait


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:43 PM

Lucky for Oakland they just got Anderson back last night.


Greg?

#12 Snodgrass'Muff


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:52 PM

Seems like all the juicers are former Yankees. Coincidence?


Colon also played for the Red Sox. Plus, Manny says hello, with David Ortiz waving from the treeline in the background.

Can we maybe not play the "My team is cleaner than yours" game? At this point, there are no clean teams.

#13 mauidano


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 12:58 PM

Waiting for Bartolo's product "web site"....

#14 Smiling Joe Hesketh


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 01:21 PM

Colon also played for the Red Sox. Plus, Manny says hello, with David Ortiz waving from the treeline in the background.

Can we maybe not play the "My team is cleaner than yours" game? At this point, there are no clean teams.


Thank you. Not to mention Melky clearly wasn't juicing while on the Yankees, because he sucked for them.

Ortiz is a special case by MLB's own admission. Manny obviously is not. Paxton Crawford and Manny Alexander also would like you to notice them.

#15 Snodgrass'Muff


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 01:29 PM

Yeah, I described Ortiz as on the periphery of the scene for a reason. I just hate when people try to make PED use about any individual team. It's a league wide problem. I know you're agreeing with me, so sorry if this sounds bitchy towards you. It's not meant that way.

#16 EddieYost


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 01:30 PM

Colon also played for the Red Sox. Plus, Manny says hello, with David Ortiz waving from the treeline in the background.

Can we maybe not play the "My team is cleaner than yours" game? At this point, there are no clean teams.


I was kidding.

#17 ifmanis5


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 01:43 PM

Moneyball PEDsball.

#18 NickEsasky


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 01:47 PM

If I was Marlon Byrd or Manny Alexander I would be pissed that the steroids I got were defective.

#19 Smiling Joe Hesketh


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 01:52 PM

If those guys didn't have roids they'd probably be picking up my trash on Tuesday mornings.

#20 pedro1918

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 02:18 PM

If those guys didn't have roids they'd probably be picking up my trash on Tuesday mornings.


It's not too late!

#21 santadevil

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 02:55 PM

I wonder if the MLB testing program unleashed a new test or new method and we are going to see a rash of positive tests from players for the next while until they actually clean it up?

That would be very disappointing as a fan, but good for the game.

#22 DLew On Roids


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 03:48 PM

Colon also played for the Red Sox. Plus, Manny says hello, with David Ortiz waving from the treeline in the background.

Can we maybe not play the "My team is cleaner than yours" game? At this point, there are no clean teams.


Jesus, God forbid that someone make a wisecrack on the Internet.

It's crap like this post that has taken most of the fun out of the baseball sections of this board.

#23 YTF

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 03:51 PM

Shocking that a 39-year-old who weighs as much as a pickup truck and had arm troubles for years yet somehow came back to baseball throwing darts in the mid-90s would fail a drug test. Utterly shocking.


Kinda' hard to tell with a guy who's head is already fat though.

#24 YTF

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 03:53 PM

Jesus, God forbid that someone make a wisecrack on the Internet.

It's crap like this post that has taken most of the fun out of the baseball sections of this board.


Says DLew on Roids.

#25 Spacemans Bong


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 04:05 PM

They ever had it? The Bash Brothers era A's were probably the most roided up teams of all time.

That hasn't stopped A's fans from acting like they're pure as the driven snow. Oakland fans have a huuuuuuge chip on their shoulder about the Giants.

#26 collings94

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 04:08 PM

The MLB should employ some special task force to investigate guys that are obviously using PED's like Colon. Sure the PA will never agree to it, but it would be cool to have a SWAT team bumrush a clubhouse looking for drugs.

#27 Reggie's Racquet

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 04:22 PM

The MLB should employ some special task force to investigate guys that are obviously using PED's like Colon. Sure the PA will never agree to it, but it would be cool to have a SWAT team bumrush a clubhouse looking for drugs.

Task Force Pedophile?
The JuiceBusters?
Team Testosterone?

#28 DLew On Roids


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 04:24 PM

Says DLew on Roids.


You damn right. If someone doesn't stop the somnolent posters, only somnolent posters will...post. And I will be that poster.

WOLVERINES!!!!

#29 Reggie's Racquet

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 04:26 PM

I wonder if the MLB testing program unleashed a new test or new method and we are going to see a rash of positive tests from players for the next while until they actually clean it up?

That would be very disappointing as a fan, but good for the game.

Word is Bartolo was done in by a routine colonoscopy

#30 Snodgrass'Muff


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 04:28 PM

Jesus, God forbid that someone make a wisecrack on the Internet.

It's crap like this post that has taken most of the fun out of the baseball sections of this board.


It's the kind of post that can absolutely be taken seriously and is the kind of crap that has made the main board such a mess this season. If it was serious it needed to be addressed. If it was a joke, it was a shitty one.

If you want to argue about it further, toss me a PM. If you'd like to throw a one liner on the pile, well... you weren't anointed king of the one-liner for nothing.

#31 SemperFidelisSox


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 04:30 PM

So what do we make of the fact that 8 of the 9 players to be suspended for PEDs since 08 have been Latino?

#32 BigSoxFan


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 04:40 PM

So what do we make of the fact that 8 of the 9 players to be suspended for PEDs since 08 have been Latino?


SoSH's favorite response:

Small Sample Size

#33 Reggie's Racquet

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 04:47 PM

So what do we make of the fact that 8 of the 9 players to be suspended for PEDs since 08 have been Latino?

We make Samba Juice.

#34 DLew On Roids


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 05:21 PM

It's the kind of post that can absolutely be taken seriously and is the kind of crap that has made the main board such a mess this season. If it was serious it needed to be addressed. If it was a joke, it was a shitty one.

If you want to argue about it further, toss me a PM. If you'd like to throw a one liner on the pile, well... you weren't anointed king of the one-liner for nothing.


You decided to make this personal (by talking about a tagline you know nothing about, and look even more moronic than usual as a result), so I can't feel too bad about noting that it's little surprise that the Drum Major of the Poster Fail Parade decided that the problem with the main board was too many wisecracks he took seriously. It wasn't the hyperbolic posters, or the ones who are clearly in over their heads when trying to analyze complex information, or the ones who write like they went to school at Baka's Home for the Developmentally Disabled? Quelle surprise.

There's a reason most of the high-quality posters--the people who took time to develop an idea, rather than assclowns who want to throw in their two cents on every issue--have dialed it back over the years, and it's the heavy-handed, hyper-serious claptrap that's represented by the post above. Get the fuck over yourself.

Edited by DLew On Roids, 22 August 2012 - 05:24 PM.


#35 mt8thsw9th


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 06:28 PM

The MLB should employ some special task force to investigate guys that are obviously using PED's like Colon. Sure the PA will never agree to it, but it would be cool to have a SWAT team bumrush a clubhouse looking for drugs.


It's too bad Joseph McCarthy isn't still around to head up that task force.

#36 Snodgrass'Muff


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Posted 22 August 2012 - 06:46 PM

DLew, that was meant as a light hearted jab. Apologies if you took it that personally. I'm not going to further derail this thread by responding to the rest, though.

#37 HriniakPosterChild

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 12:55 AM

Jesus, God forbid that someone make a wisecrack on the Internet.

It's crap like this post that has taken most of the fun out of the baseball sections of this board.

Been over to V&N today?

#38 Bernie Carbohydrate


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Posted 23 August 2012 - 09:35 AM

So does Colon qualify for the batting title or not?

#39 MoGator71

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Posted 23 August 2012 - 06:28 PM

So what do we make of the fact that 8 of the 9 players to be suspended for PEDs since 08 have been Latino?


Or that the white guy who got his suspension tossed out has received on ongoing media ballwashing with Jon Heyman leading the way.

#40 DanoooME


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Posted 23 August 2012 - 08:54 PM

So does Colon qualify for the batting title or not?


They'll just add 498 hitless PAs to his total and he'll qualify well with his .000 average.

However, he will not qualify for the ERA title as he's 9.2 IP short of the 162 required.