197 replies to this topic

[SoxScout]

Gonzalez. Man. Just about anyone else would have a "Does he get it" thread.

Blaming: 1. God 2. Injuries 3. The Schedule

I hope I have forgotten about this in 6 months, because what a fucking pathetic display.

[Rooster Crows]

Leadership isn't worth nearly as much when the band won't follow, especially in the Percussion Section.

Effective leadership is about getting the band to follow.

[Tomclash]

Two completely unrelated thoughts:

1) I was watching the Tampa Bay-Yankees game and there were few people in the seats behind home plate and there were empty seats everywhere. Meanwhile, the team on the field is busting butt trying to make the playoffs. That city does not deserve that team.

2) John Lackey's WAR this year was -1.2. His WAR last year - his worst year in the majors - was 1.8. If he matches last year's WAR the Sox make the playoffs. His best WAR was 6.3 in 2007 and if he matches that WAR the Sox would have finished ahead of the Yankees.

[ivanvamp]

I am with everyone on the Crawford frustration bandwagon, but if we go back to the beginning of the year, there was general excitement about having Crawford on the team. I think almost all of us thought it was a pretty significant overpay, but I think the general consensus can be captured by what FoulkeyReese said on Dec 9 in the "Abraham: The Red Sox have a seven-year, $142 million deal done with Carl Crawford" thread:

"Insane overpay if this is true, but I'm excited as hell to have him on the team."

I think many of us thought this way. Too much money, but damn! Crawford is a terrific all-around baseball player.

Now, clearly, he was pretty awful this year. In every facet, really. Major, major underperformance by CC. But, by and large, we were pretty excited to have him in a Red Sox uniform. Hard to get on Theo for spending a little more of John Henry's money to get a player we all (generally) thought was a nice addition to the team.

Part of me wants to blow this thing up, though I don't really know how you do it without eating a TON of money. Part of me thinks that a few tweaks should be sufficient. Remember, with all that went wrong the last month, they missed the playoffs by *ONE* game. If Clay is healthy all year, this team walks into the playoffs. Just that one change is sufficient. Think: healthy Clay Buchholz starting instead of the mish-mash of Miller and Weiland. Yikes.

Lackey cannot be any worse next year than he was this year. I think it's mathematically impossible. Crawford can't be much worse, and is likely to be significantly better. even if he goes from awful to average, that's a pretty major upgrade. He's a career 105 ops+ guy. This year he was at 85. If he gets up to 100, that adds a LOT to the team right there.

There is a significant to-do list for the front office. I don't think spending a ton more money is the answer. Some changes do need to be made. It's going to be a fascinating offseason.

[Turrable]

I was 8 when '03 happened. My only memory of that is watching on this small, black and white tv upstairs in the dark, and crying endlessly. This wasn't nearly as bad, but trying to take a piss with tons of Orioles fans celebrating their World Series win 5th place finish, followed by one running and and yelling "THE RAYS WON, LONGORIA HIT A WALK-OFF" is something I'd like to forget.

Time to watch some championship DVDs.

[went9]

In 2010, we watched the Bruins take it on the chin in some painful playoff games, only to come back in 2011 to win it all. Hope the Sox follow suit.

I had my Sox hat on more in September than any other month this year and plan to put it on more this off season and next year than ever before. With hat on, the pain will pass. They are my team and my laundry and I will not jump ship.

Last night was hell but hope will spring eternal.

[jezza1918]

Been following this board since 03, posting (extremely minimally) for a couple years, and snagged a lucky membership earlier this year. in all my time of crushing defeats (Boone, Tyree, 3-0 series lead/3-0 game 7 lead against the flyers, game 7 choke to the lakers, etc etc) ive come to realize 2 things: 1. i am extremely thankful for this board, its insight has made me a better fan and 2. no matter how embarrassing and devastating they might seem at the time, regular season losses are not in the same ballpark of pain/depression/anger as post season losses.

[genoasalami]

Gonzalez. Man. Just about anyone else would have a "Does he get it" thread.

Blaming: 1. God 2. Injuries 3. The Schedule

I hope I have forgotten about this in 6 months, because what a fucking pathetic display.

Nothing worse than a player making millions blaming GOD, injuries, schedule, ESPN, travel etc.

He is an integral part of a very unlikable team.

This is exactly why I say good for the Rays. Take off the pom poms and the rose color glasses and tell me who would you rather root for??? A scrappy low budget team or an arrogant, tiresome, overpaid team??

[DaubachmanTurnerOD]

Longoria's game winner in Tampa just stayed fair, hooking around the left field foul pole and barely clearing a small, low part of the left field wall.

That small low section of the wall is called "Crawford's Cut-out", put in place when the Rays lowered the wall so their then left fielder, Carl Crawford, could rob some more home runs.

That guy is the gift that just keeps on taking.

I don't agree with those who are saying blow it up, and I certainly don't agree with the few posters who want Theo gone. It is hard to see where this team improves, though. There is little money coming off the books, especially with the raises coming to guys and if they retain Papi and/or Paps. Even if there is money available, there are few or no appealing free agent pitchers (CJ Wilson leads the list, and it goes down steeply from there).

I'd get on board with those calling for Curt Young's head, which is disappointing because I had high hopes when he came over from Oakland (their cavernous ballpark aside).

[pantsparty]

Nothing worse than a player making millions blaming GOD, injuries, schedule, ESPN, travel etc.

I like Gonzalez blaming God. With how many players praise God when they win, it's nice to see someone take that to its logical conclusion when they lose.

Edited by pantsparty, 29 September 2011 - 02:15 PM.

[ivanvamp]

I like Gonzalez blaming God. With how many players praise God when they win, it's nice to see someone take that to its logical conclusion when they lose.

As I said to a friend of mine, at least Gonzalez is being consistent. If God wants my team to win, then, kind of by definition, he wants the other team to lose. Easy to believe and say when you're on the winning side; harder to believe and say when you're on the losing side.

I wish Gonzalez would have forced God's hand a little bit more, though, by hitting 10 hr and driving in 30 runs in September.

[mikeford]

I like Gonzalez blaming God. With how many players praise God when they win, it's nice to see someone take that to its logical conclusion when they lose.

Wouldn't the logical conclusion be to blame Satan?

[Fragile Freddie]

Gonzalez blaming the schedule is a JOKE. Guys are tired after playing night games and then flying into another city to play another night game? Give me a fucking break. Try doing masonry work, roofing houses, or something similar for a living. How about keeping your mouth shut, or if you must say something, own up to your less than stellar play against the 2 teams that finished in front of you.

OK, I feel better.

[pantsparty]

Wouldn't the logical conclusion be to blame Satan?

My Christian mythology could be off, but my understanding is that the closest Satan can come to direct influence of world events would be possessing someone (which could explain Lackey...), but for the most part Satan can only lead people into sin with lies and temptation instead of being able to directly intervene like God.

[LynnRice75]

Wouldn't the logical conclusion be to blame... Satan?

Your comment made me laugh. Wasn't sure I would do that much today.

Tito and Theo holding a press conference together at 4:00. Could be interesting.

[SemperFidelisSox]

The press conference at 4 is to announce the Bruce Chen trade.

[unclebobo]

I'm just livid at the thought of CHB splooging all over himself thinking of the drivel he'll be feeding us all winter long.

He might even create a new curse for everybody to hang their hats on.

Goodbye Ted, Wake & Drew -- thanks for everything.

Horseface needs to waddle off into the sunset with his prenup under his worthless arm.

[AimingForYoko]

I blame Satan for Lackey.

Or Lackey for Satan.

[DaubachmanTurnerOD]

The press conference at 4 is to announce the Bruce Chen trade.

This made me laugh.

[LynnRice75]

Anyone see how fast Tito exited that press conference? Looked like he had no desire to be there.
Wonder what the incident in Toronto was. Tito seemed to say there were issues going on even when they were winning.
Hmmm. Sure will be an interesting off season.

[SemperFidelisSox]

Gary Tanguay isn't exactly the most reliable source, but while discussing the press conference with Merloni on CSN just now he mentioned the guys in the rotation being an island in the clubhouse. I think it was Rosenthal or Verducci who also reported Beckett, Lester & Lackey having their own little clique.

[SoxScout]

Gary Tanguay isn't exactly the most reliable source, but while discussing the press conference with Merloni on CSN just now he mentioned the guys in the rotation being an island in the clubhouse. I think it was Rosenthal or Verducci who also reported Beckett, Lester & Lackey having their own little clique.

It was Heyman yesterday

[mauidano]

As much as Crawford shit the bed, I can appreciate how he "manned up" and took all the questions today. Accepted responsibility for his play. Mentioned how horrible he feels and promises to work even harder to get right next year. "Heartbroken". I know he feels it too.

Gonzalez? All God's and ESPN's fault.

Everyone else? Not so much.

The Big Three who are isolating themselves if true better get there shit together and become part of the team. There needs to be some REAL HARD looks about attitude and results.

[Pandemonium67]

Longoria's game winner in Tampa just stayed fair, hooking around the left field foul pole and barely clearing a small, low part of the left field wall.

That small low section of the wall is called "Crawford's Cut-out", put in place when the Rays lowered the wall so their then left fielder, Carl Crawford, could rob some more home runs.

That guy is the gift that just keeps on taking.

Wow, fantastic. I did not know this.

I think Crawford can play his way out of the hole he's dug. While he sucked mightily all year, he works hard, is accountable and has some integrity as well as talent. In the long run that will win out.

As for Lackey, maybe Theo can find a team in Japan that will take him. Somewhere near Fukushima would be ideal.

[jacklamabe65]

As a 26 year old, I feel like I finally understand 1978.

1986 was worse. I would also argue that 2011 was worse than 1978 because at least we won 8 in a row to tie - and then played our asses off in a playoff game and damn near won it.

[jacklamabe65]

I'm just livid at the thought of CHB splooging all over himself thinking of the drivel he'll be feeding us all winter long.

He might even create a new curse for everybody to hang their hats on.

Goodbye Ted, Wake & Drew -- thanks for everything.

Horseface needs to waddle off into the sunset with his prenup under his worthless arm.

Dan needs to create a new curse to pay for his grandchildren's college education.

[Kilgore A. Trout]

I've never been a huge Francona fan, and i have said as much many times. Obviously the last month did nothing to change that. This team has played lazy, bad fundamental baseball, and I can't say September was an isolated incident of this. Of course the bad pitching didn't help, or having your offense in a coma, but how much of that suck was about karma and how much was about unfocused, unmotivated players? If there is anything that is a manager's job, its keeping his team focused. And as crazy as it sounds, keeping them motivated. Its a long season, and everyone gets tired, and sore, and gets nagging injuries, so even the most hard working players can mail it in once in a while. You say they're lazy doing it, and yet I bet all of you do the same kind of thing at work once TGIF comes within striking distance. The manager has to be there to stop it, at least stop it from going on too long. A manager has to keeps his team from going into month long comas like that. It pretty hard when its the Pirates, who haven't played meaningful game as late as the end of July in nearly twenty years, but it shouldn't be when its a perennial playoff contender like Boston. Yet Francona failed to do it. And you can couple that with his often terrible in game management and his occasional odd lineups.
Is Francona a bad manager? No, I don't think so. But neither is he a great manager- he's a manager of a great team. And there is a difference. You can't tell me that you are absolutely certain that any manager in the game today couldn't have won two rings in eight years with the roster that Francona has had to work with. I can think of at least four right now that I believe would have won more than two. You hate what Showalter said at the beginning of the season, but he wasn't totally wrong. Does it really take a great manager to bat Papi third and Manny fourth? You really think Dave Roberts stealing was a gutsy move, even though its the same exact move every manager and 99% of people watching would have done? I can think of a dozen weird decisions if not outright mistakes that Francona has made, some that burned him and some he got lucky on, but honestly I can't think of a single bold move, whether it worked or not, that he has ever made.
Even with all that said, I still do not think he should be fired. Not even now. Young and Bogar, absolutely, the medical staff, hell yes, like last year even, but I still wouldn't pull the trigger on Francona if I were in Henry or Theo's shoes. I would privately and way, way away from the public, sit him down though and let him know he cannot allow long term lethargy like this to seep into the team again. He has to do a better job keeping the team focused, and resting back on superior resources more than doing a better job will not cut it anymore. If he doesn't like it, and wants to go elsewhere, fine, let him. Let him do it on his own terms and for whatever reason he wants to give the media. Then go out and get someone not named Tony LaRussa for the job.
Unfortunately I'm not getting the feeling its gonna go down even that cleanly. When someone in the organization feeds Gammons supposed disparity like happened last week, the subtle word choices from everyone, even the disposition of certain people, I see the FO trying to lay foundations for an upcoming shitcanning. If I'm right I hope its not gonna get ugly. And again, I hope they don't replace him with LaRussa.
There. I feel better.

Edited by Kilgore A. Trout, 29 September 2011 - 05:14 PM.

[Brickowski]

So if they fire Francona, what's the alternative? I predict that if they do can him he'll have another job offer in less than a week. See Guillen, Ozzie.

[unclebobo]

Dan needs to create a new curse to pay for his grandchildren's college education.

that's what I'm SAYIN'

[doubleg]

I've been following this team for close to 40 years and this version is right up there with the most unlikeable team I can ever remember, watching them stumble and bumble their way through the last six weeks of the season was painful to watch.

It got to a point where I honestly did not give a fuck anymore, between watching Wakefield try 400 times for his 200 win, their piss poor baserunning and fielding, lack of clutch hitting and overall play.

And speaking of Wakefield, did this fucking guy really say he wants to come back next year as he's only seven wins away from the alltime Red Sox win total for a pitcher BECAUSE THE FANS WOULD LIKE TO SEE IT?

Are you shitting me Tim; no, we don't want to see you burp, piss, shit and fart your way to a 7-15 record next year.

It's clear this team was all about themselves, not the team.

1978, 1986, 2003 and 2008 were worse; even if this team made it to the playoffs, they were toast, they were going nowhere.

Right now they are the third best team in the division next year, the Doofin Rays and their ballbag of a manager in their chickenshit stadium and shitkicker fans are a better team.


What a pathetic end to a pitiful season.

[rajendra82]

I've been following this team for close to 40 years and this version is right up there with the most unlikeable team I can ever remember, watching them stumble and bumble their way through the last six weeks of the season was painful to watch.

It got to a point where I honestly did not give a fuck anymore, between watching Wakefield try 400 times for his 200 win, their piss poor baserunning and fielding, lack of clutch hitting and overall play.

And speaking of Wakefield, did this fucking guy really say he wants to come back next year as he's only seven wins away from the alltime Red Sox win total for a pitcher BECAUSE THE FANS WOULD LIKE TO SEE IT?

Are you shitting me Tim; no, we don't want to see you burp, piss, shit and fart your way to a 7-15 record next year.

It's clear this team was all about themselves, not the team.

1978, 1986, 2003 and 2008 were worse; even if this team made it to the playoffs, they were toast, they were going nowhere.

Right now they are the third best team in the division next year, the Doofin Rays and their ballbag of a manager in their chickenshit stadium and shitkicker fans are a better team.


What a pathetic end to a pitiful season.

Say anything you want about the Rays stadium and fans you want. I think Maddon is a hell of a manager though. I have seen him do more out of the box thinking to get the best results out of the players than overrated hacks like Gardenhire and Scoscia.

[doubleg]

Say anything you want about the Rays stadium and fans you want. I think Maddon is a hell of a manager though. I have seen him do more out of the box thinking to get the best results out of the players than overrated hacks like Gardenhire and Scoscia.

Ok, wonderful, he's a great manager.


And he's also a smug, smarmy asshole as well.


So there you go.

[Gene Conleys Plane Ticket]

It's clear this team was all about themselves, not the team.

Based on this quote from Francona, it sounds like there may be something to that...

"Normally, as a season progresses, there's events that make you care about each other. With this team, it didn't happen as much as I wanted it to. I was frustrated about that," he said. "You don't need a team that wants to go out to dinner together. But you need a team that wants to protect each other on the field and be fiercely loyal to each other on the field."

[Kilgore A. Trout]

Based on this quote from Francona, it sounds like there may be something to that...

Throwing the whole team under the bus like that actually makes me think that at least in his own mind, Francona is already gone.

[Brianish]

I spent some more time thinking about it, and I'm starting to think maybe Tito should be let go. Not because he's responsible for this season; I think it's pretty clear the players just turned into little leaguers. But I think next season, our manager has to walk into Spring Training and say to the team: I want you all to know, you're playing for your jobs. Because my job is to put the best possible team on the field. And if that team has a converted reliever in the rotation and a 16 million dollar starter doing mop-up duty, that's the team that I'm running out there. Don't like it? I don't care. Embarrassed by your spot? Play better. But if you send your agent to complain to me about your role, s/he'd better be able to show me why your performance warrants a promotion.

And I don't think Tito's that guy, for two reasons. First, he's all about protecting his players, and usually that's a good thing, especially in this market. But right now, everything seems like these guys need to get stepped on. And second, he was involved in the collapse. It wasn't his fault, but he was there. It'd be hard to him get that hard on them and have any credibility. It'd come off like he's dodging responsibility. How could he take any stand like that and be taken seriously?

Having said all that, I'm let with the classic dilemma: I don't know who this hypothetical new guy would be.

[SemperFidelisSox]

"Normally, as a season progresses, there's events that make you care about each other. With this team, it didn't happen as much as I wanted it to. I was frustrated about that," he said. "You don't need a team that wants to go out to dinner together. But you need a team that wants to protect each other on the field and be fiercely loyal to each other on the field."

I don't know what Tito is talking about. Clearly, this team cared very deeply for dinner.

[mpjc]

[mauidano]

I don't know what Tito is talking about. Clearly, this team cared very deeply for dinner.

Well put! Made me laugh and I could use one. Even my girlfriend who is a Red Sox fan by association only said when looking at their profiles on the mound, "Those guys all have beer bellies"

Tito only said the truth here. It's about time someone stopped putting lipstick on the pig. This is about a rude awakening as you can get in professional sports. There had better be some serious re-evaluatining of attitudes, conditioning and team concept. Bunch of fat prima donnas. Oh and BTW Adrian, sorry to tell you God ain't walking through that door.

Edited by mauidano, 29 September 2011 - 09:24 PM.

[mpjc]

... I think next season, our manager has to walk into Spring Training and say to the team: I want you all to know, you're playing for your jobs....

And I don't think Tito's that guy.

i am a little surprise to find myself thinking this has the ring of truth.

[Brianish]

i am a little surprise to find myself thinking this has the ring of truth.

To be perfectly honest, when it first occurred to me, I was too.

[OnWisc]

I've been following this team for close to 40 years and this version is right up there with the most unlikeable team I can ever remember, watching them stumble and bumble their way through the last six weeks of the season was painful to watch.

It got to a point where I honestly did not give a fuck anymore, between watching Wakefield try 400 times for his 200 win, their piss poor baserunning and fielding, lack of clutch hitting and overall play.

And speaking of Wakefield, did this fucking guy really say he wants to come back next year as he's only seven wins away from the alltime Red Sox win total for a pitcher BECAUSE THE FANS WOULD LIKE TO SEE IT?

Are you shitting me Tim; no, we don't want to see you burp, piss, shit and fart your way to a 7-15 record next year.

It's clear this team was all about themselves, not the team.

1978, 1986, 2003 and 2008 were worse; even if this team made it to the playoffs, they were toast, they were going nowhere.

Right now they are the third best team in the division next year, the Doofin Rays and their ballbag of a manager in their chickenshit stadium and shitkicker fans are a better team.


What a pathetic end to a pitiful season.

I've been drinking, but this is technically a game thread, so I'm going to comment on some of the above anyway.

Off the top of my head, by August of 2001, I didn't much care for that team. I actually don't mind this club. While it was ultimately futile, I loved watching Lavarnway on Wednesday. What a night for that kid to top off a great season in the minors. Not just the homers, but the throw to third right off the bat as well.

The 200 chase for Wake just reflected what I feel was a type of arrogance in roster construction. As if by being as loaded as we appeared to be at the top, we could use other roster slots sub-optimally. Like the playoffs were a given and we'd get serious then.

I was too young for 1978. 1986 was brutal. I remember watching on a small black and white in my bedroom and seeing Stanley wild pitch home the tying run, at which point I knew the game was over. I was coming home from hockey practice in Natick during Game 7. Stopped at McArthurs Market in Sherborn and on the tv behind the counter saw us hit back to back HRs (I think, Gedman and someone?) that gave me hope. Not to be. As far as Game 6, Bob Stanley owes Buckner big. In 2003, moments after the end, I was on my front porch holding my tv over my head (it was small) about to chuck it into the yard. I ultimately didn't want to pick up shards of screen and didn't pitch it. I was working too much in 2008 to watch the games. This year sucks, but it wasn't sudden. It's felt inevitable for weeks. And as frustrating as it was, this team really is built to compete next year and into the future.

I still think the Sox are in good shape for next year. If you replayed this last month with the same lineup and rotation, we still end up in the playoffs most of the time. Just like the Yankees close us out in 2004 99/100 times. Sometimes it breaks for you, sometimes it doesn't. That said, I think Toronto becomes more of an obstacle soon, too.

A pathetic end to an often promising season.

I'll be watching some good baseball tomorrow night as Verlander faces CC. And while I'll be rooting, I won't have to deal with the stress and I'll enjoy myself watching a game for the first time in a long time.

Already looking forward to pitchers and catchers. It'll be a long, cold winter, but there's already a light at the end of the tunnel.

[derekson]

Say anything you want about the Rays stadium and fans you want. I think Maddon is a hell of a manager though. I have seen him do more out of the box thinking to get the best results out of the players than overrated hacks like Gardenhire and Scoscia.

This one thousand times over. If you want to hate on the stadium or fans in St. Pete, by all means, go for it! But anyone who doesn't think Maddon has earned respect as a damn fine manager is being silly. I think he is far and away the best in the business, and while I can understand not thinking he's the absolute best, not listing him among the top 5 seems crazy.

Edited by derekson, 30 September 2011 - 12:05 AM.

[Sprowl]

I've been drinking, but this is technically a game thread, so I'm going to comment on some of the above anyway.
...
The 200 chase for Wake just reflected what I feel was a type of arrogance in roster construction. As if by being as loaded as we appeared to be at the top, we could use other roster slots sub-optimally. Like the playoffs were a given and we'd get serious then.
...
Already looking forward to pitchers and catchers. It'll be a long, cold winter, but there's already a light at the end of the tunnel.

That's a sharp characterization of roster management this year, and we may see both Wake and Tek shuffled off into semi-retirement (player-coaches in the case of emergency).

I don't see that light at the end of the tunnel though. I think we're fumbling around the tunnel in the dark, wondering when the next train is due. Tito leaving looks like the 10:15 from Seattle.

No, scrap that metaphor. I think we're fumbling around in the dark of Moria, and Gandalf can't get his staff lit. They are coming.

Yeah, I've been drinking too.

[patinorange]

That's a sharp characterization of roster management this year, and we may see both Wake and Tek shuffled off into semi-retirement (player-coaches in the case of emergency).

I don't see that light at the end of the tunnel though. I think we're fumbling around the tunnel in the dark, wondering when the next train is due. Tito leaving looks like the 10:15 from Seattle.

No, scrap that metaphor. I think we're fumbling around in the dark of Moria, and Gandalf can't get his staff lit. They are coming.

Yeah, I've been drinking too.

Love the avatar change.

[LeoCarrillo]

Need to vent my own Sox 2011 frustrations, and I'll use Simmons. Not a huge fan. Gotta give him credit for invention in carving out a niche, damn, making his living by watching TV. That's definitely a coup. And he's friends with Adam Carrolla. That said, he's become a cariacature of himself. Case in point, his "running game thread" from game 162. Hey, Bill, thanks for stopping by and half giving a shit (while purportedly still being the steward of the sox fan zeitgeist). Oh, by the way, he's hanging with his boy Daniel for this one.

With apologies to Ken Tremendous, who'd have done a far better job of this on FJM.

4:00 p.m. PT — Thanks to NESN for working in the obligatory Carl Crawford strikeout on a pitch in the dirt during its "GAME 162" montage intro. Just what we needed. Jerry Remy tries to make up for it a minute later: "Some comfort food for Boston fans — [Jon] Lester has pitched 17 times against Baltimore; he's 14-and-0." Sorry, I'm not sure "comfort" and "Boston fans" can be used in the same sentence this week. It's illegal. Illegal. Comedy stylings. Okay, we're off.

4:07 — As the camera pans the Red Sox players standing for the national anthem, we see one blond-haired guy, and Daniel says, "Who's that?" Neither of us have any idea. Again, welcome to the 2011 Red Sox season. That would be Lars Anderson. Pinch-ran for Gonzo Sunday against the Yankees and handled the bag for SIX innings in a must-win game that went 14. I want Daniel to donkey-punch Simmons at this point.

4:08 — Baltimore's starter today: Alfredo Simon, pitching with a giant tobacco can in his back right pocket. Is there a manlier look than chew-can butt? Chaz Bono should add this to his Dancing With the Stars getup; it's much more effective than the scraggly beard. Dip, not chew. Red Man pouch is chew. And you're making "manlier" observations while drawing attention to the fact that you're looking at a guy's ass.

4:17 — Adrian Gonzalez grounds out to end the top of the first. Meanwhile, the Yankees have a runner on first with two outs — we have that game showing on Daniel's iPad thanks to his MLB.TV account, which, of course, is a separate expense than his DIRECTV MLB EXTRA INNINGS in Major League Baseball's never-ending effort to antagonize its fans. By the way, if you had explained to me as recently as 10 years ago that I'd be living in California and rooting for the Yankees on an iPad, I would have assumed that I was on the lam for a crime and doing whatever it took to survive. Seven references to him and his buddy.

4:22 — Red Sox killer Robert Andino leads off for the Orioles as Daniel hisses, "That's just an eff you move by Showalter." Lester strikes him out. I've had Andino on my AL Keeper Team all season — he's a homeless man's Ben Zobrist. There's no better candidate to ruin the 2011 Red Sox season and join the Bucky Dent/Enos Slaughter/Aaron Boone group. He's the odds-on favorite. Reference to his fantasy team. We care.

4:25 — J.J. Hardy's surprisingly good season (30 homers) inadvertently inspires Daniel and me to discuss whether we'd take HGH if we were baseball players. I decide that I wouldn't take it until I started slipping in my mid-30s, and then I'd start popping them like Pez. Daniel's take: "I'd definitely take it. I'm thinking about taking it anyway." Four I's in one sentence. Any thoughts on the game?

4:25 — We're both confused by NESN's "Bill James' Temperature Gauge" graphic — seems like a fancy way to just say someone's hot or cold. Daniel thinks Bill James could create any stat and people would start using it without ever questioning if it made sense. That's really the final sabermetric stage: It's like when A-list actors start releasing music albums. I just hope Bill Barnwell can get there some day. So dead-on, BS. Like when A-lister Tom Hanks dropped "Charlie Wilson's War Hymns." They practically issued that to you, if you lived in the suburbs. Charlize Theron's "Monster Mashups." Yet another A-lister cash-in, there.

4:29 — J.D. Drew smacks a one-out single, then cracks wise at first base with Mark Reynolds. "What's going on with J.D.?" Daniel wonders. "He showed emotion last night, now he's smiling. Next thing you know, he's gonna steal a base!" I'm gonna miss these moments with J.D. when he's gone next year. Oh, wait, no I won't. Sox fans have been greatly missing Drew for two months, as Reddick went down the drain. Or, you know, he's a robot and doesn't smile. Denis Leary even thinks that's too cliche to steal.

4:31 — NESN keeps marketing this Fenway Brick, the first product marketed specifically in the hope that girlfriends and wives might mistakenly buy it for their man even though we definitely don't want one. Ladies, trust me, that Fenway Brick is going in your man's garage or attic within two weeks. Speaking of bad purchases, Carl Crawford just flied out to end the top of the second. Man does know women. Knows they watch NESN without us and feverishly jot down ordering info without our knowledge. As he wrote this, Brock-O, Smitty, Pee-Wee and Meat's girlfriends all bought Fenway Bricks.

4:49 — I wish Ortiz named his different beards with monikers like "Insignia" and "Macarena." For tonight he shaved his mustache, shaved the left and right sides over his chin, but kept every other part of the beard and connected the soul patch to it. It would have been so much easier if I could have just told you, "Tonight Ortiz is wearing Insignia," right? Right?

4:57 — After Lavarnway's strikeout ends the top of the second, Daniel says earnestly, "When you think about it, Ortiz's beard is really a reminder of his Latino culture." He's on his second beer and it already feels like 20. Red Sox 1, Orioles 0. Six hours earlier, Carrolla made an excuse to get out of watching the game with these guys.

5:06 — I already have Yankee/Tampa fans who are congratulating me on making the playoffs as a reverse jinx. You can't reverse jinx ME. I'm the master! How dare all of you! Me, capitalized ME, I'm the master!

5:57 — After five: Daniel 3 (drinks), Red Sox 3, Orioles 2. Does Simmons drink? His buddy's had three drinks in 1 hour, 57 minutes. Unless he's doing bingers in between, pussy.

6:05 — I always love hearing the kicking Boston accents during the local NESN commercials (like the creepy Jordan's Furniture guy just now). It's too bad you can't pick the accents for commercials the same way you can manipulate the SAP button. I'd go with "Rhode Island" and maybe even blend "Chicago" in there every few weeks to mix it up. Oh, screw this. It's just wave after wave of the meh wokka-wokka. I give up. Simmons, you win on sheer persistence. Jesus. You're like Gammons of the Internet era, filling inches in a cyberland that has no space limitations. Maybe you do earn your paycheck, having to knowingly read your own crap in real-time as it spills out of your spent, once-creative noggin.

Edited by LeoCarrillo, 30 September 2011 - 11:36 AM.

[Jessia]

For me this wasn't at all like 2003. 2003 everybody in the world knew the critical moment when it was lost, knew it the moment when it happened, knew what was going to happen. And pretty much knew what had to happen afterward to try and keep it from happening again. Replace the manager, bring in a Curt Schilling, a Keith Foulke. This wasn't like that at all. There really isn't one key moment to point to that explains what happened, not one glaring hole in the team that needs to be fixed to be able to go back out and work towards a better result. People talk about Lackey and yes he sucked but all winning teams have a third or fourth starter that's not all that good, or not that good consistently (outside of say, the 2011 Phillies). This is different because it's much more difficult to identify obvious fixes. but maybe that's just because I'm not a baseball expert. Maybe the fixes are obvious to everyone else. but mostly it's not like 2003 because it hasn't been 85 years since the Red Sox won the World Series.

I see no real benefit to getting rid of Terry Francona. He can be the sacrificial lamb but if that's all they change they're going to get the same result next year I think. Maybe in the end one obvious lesson here is that talent alone doesn't win baseball games, not without hard work and a consistent emphasis on the fundamentals. You throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball, stuff like that. And maybe you don't win championships with players who whine about the schedule or too much traveling and late nights and how hard it is to get enough rest. Or can't focus on their jobs because there's trouble at home or the wife's having a baby and they've never learned how to compartmentalize like the rest of us have to do everyday. Maybe they all just need to grow up.

[jacklamabe65]

Maybe I should start a "Lose it For" thread.

[Red PR]

Francona if he is gone is the absolute worse thing that could happen. Replacement Bobby Valentine?? What?? That guy is a buffoon. He will get chewed up and spit out quicker than Lackey downing a cold one from the dugout steps.

[Brianish]

No, scrap that metaphor. I think we're fumbling around in the dark of Moria, and Gandalf can't get his staff lit. They are coming.

So you're saying we're about to kill a Balrog and come back more powerful than ever?

Edit - Ok, someone needs to photoshop Lackey's face onto a Balrog.

Edited by Brianish, 30 September 2011 - 08:21 AM.

[rajendra82]

Ok, someone needs to photoshop Lackey's face onto a Balrog.

Why would we want to to see a Balrog scarier than the one that dwells in the depths of Moria?