2437 replies to this topic

[CR67dream]

My buddies are from Michigan and they told me that Tim Allen used to do a lot of blow...that caught me offguard.

You're kidding, right?

[Spacemans Bong]

I hate fantasy sports. I don't care about them, I don't care that you play them, I don't care that Mark Sanchez just won you your game versus another fat, overweight slob with a computer.

If you want to indulge in your fantasy, do it kid-style and pick up a goddamn football and play some touch in the park and pretend you're Randy Moss.

Edited by Spacemans Bong, 22 September 2010 - 10:16 AM.

[Doc32]

Simmons you narcissistic fuck. Again...seriously? On Twitter he links to his Jimmy Kimmel fantasy league team to show off a few things. 1) How loaded his team is in an 8-team league and 2) How many celebs he is playing fantasy football with. This is again after he mention that no one cares about fantasy teams or crazy wins, and after he told Sepinwall he hates The League because it is an 8-team fantasy league and those ae stupid.

What a jackass.

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

I hate fantasy sports. I don't care about them, I don't care that you play them, I don't care that Mark Sanchez just won you your game versus another fat, overweight slob with a computer.

If you want to indulge in your fantasy, do it kid-style and pick up a goddamn football and play some touch in the park and pretend you're Randy Moss.

Are you Mitch Albom and do you write for Parade Magazine?

[AlNipper49]

Who the fuck joins an 8 person league. hell, the reason Byron met his wife is because rather than run a 9 person league we started inviting random non-sports people. 8 people leagues literally require no skill, it's disproportionately based on luck.

[John Marzano Olympic Hero]

Nip wasn't lying. That is how I met my wife. Take that eight-person league!

[Huntington Avenue Grounds]

If Carolla told Simmons that drinking Draino was "fucking awesome!", Simmons would be dead within minutes.

I laughed at this. Hard.

The only mitigating factor would be how long it takes Bill to tweet this recommendation before swigging.

[mascho]

Simmons you narcissistic fuck. Again...seriously? On Twitter he links to his Jimmy Kimmel fantasy league team to show off a few things. 1) How loaded his team is in an 8-team league and 2) How many celebs he is playing fantasy football with. This is again after he mention that no one cares about fantasy teams or crazy wins, and after he told Sepinwall he hates The League because it is an 8-team fantasy league and those ae stupid.

What a jackass.

A little context might be necessary. Here's the entire tweet:

Check out my FFL roster in Kimmel's league: http://tinyurl.com/24jsd7l 8-team leagues turn into 8 fantasy all-star teams. #jklfl

Seems to me that he's pointing out that 8-team leagues are a joke.

[Doc32]

A little context might be necessary. Here's the entire tweet:



Seems to me that he's pointing out that 8-team leagues are a joke.

I doubt it. Everyone knows what an 8-team league would look like. But if you click the link, you see Simmons competing against the sexy Kisten Bell, Joel McHale, Dax Shepard, etc.

[Rocco Graziosa]

Simmons much better today on PTI. Cornheiser going out of his way to carry the load and make him comfortable. Makes you understand just how hard that shit is.

[shlincoln]

That was probably the first time the words "AL keeper", "DVOA," and "FIP" were ever uttered on PTI. And I can't say Simmons sounded all that convincing saying any of them.

[PBDWake]

Simmons much better today on PTI. Cornheiser going out of his way to carry the load and make him comfortable. Makes you understand just how hard that shit is.

Agreed. On everything other than Brady. I still stand by my stance that his criticism of Brady is petty and silly, along the lines of JD Drew not having fun out there. I did appreciate Kornheiser pointing out that it's the pot calling the kettle black, after Simmons was criticizing him for moving out to LA to raise his family and still trying to represent Boston, since it's a place where "you're born there, you stay there".

[Alcohol&Overcalls]

Simmons much better today on PTI. Cornheiser going out of his way to carry the load and make him comfortable. Makes you understand just how hard that shit is.

I'll bang on Simmons for some things, but talk TV is incredibly hard - especially to come in cold, without even radio experience. Just like, say, prospects coming up from the minors, you really need to give the dude a chance to acclimate etc.

[Salva135]

Simmons was a horrible choice to co-host PTI, particularly with Kornheiser. They are polar opposites in a way that just doesn't work for this kind of show.. Kornheiser embarrassed Simmons by spending half of the show telling him he's never heard of this or that reference, while BS must have been thinking "wow, you are so out of touch." I thought the whole episode was really awkward. Although I did like the fact that after Simmons tried to sound smart by citing DVOA stats, Kornheiser immediately asked him what that stood for (I truly believe he's never heard of it or any metrics related to football), and Simmons himself didn't know - followed by Reali owning both of them by rattling off the acronym.

Simmons is generally bad on talk TV because of his sterile demeanor but is an especially poor fit for a wham-bam analysis show like PTI... his thoughts are too rambling and complicated to fit into soundbytes and fast analysis. He's also probably not used to having to explain all of the esoteric references of pop culture, fantasy sports, etc. that his readership can follow but not a national TV audience.

Edited by Salva135, 22 September 2010 - 11:00 PM.

[Mystic Merlin]

It also doesn't help that he has an annoying, nasally voice.

[Darnell's Son]

Simmons was a horrible choice to co-host PTI, particularly with Kornheiser. They are polar opposites in a way that just doesn't work for this kind of show.. Kornheiser embarrassed Simmons by spending half of the show telling him he's never heard of this or that reference, while BS must have been thinking "wow, you are so out of touch." I thought the whole episode was really awkward. Although I did like the fact that after Simmons tried to sound smart by citing DVOA stats, Kornheiser immediately asked him what that stood for (I truly believe he's never heard of it or any metrics related to football), and Simmons himself didn't know - followed by Reali owning both of them by rattling off the acronym.

Simmons is generally bad on talk TV because of his sterile demeanor but is an especially poor fit for a wham-bam analysis show like PTI... his thoughts are too rambling and complicated to fit into soundbytes and fast analysis. He's also probably not used to having to explain all of the esoteric references of pop culture, fantasy sports, etc. that his readership can follow but not a national TV audience.

Really? I couldn't disagree more. I believe that his appearances on PTI so far have been very good. I think he and Kornheiser have some chemistry and that his references to pertinent statistics and his AL Keeper League make him seem smart, and yes that was weird to type. It's just like when Wilbon makes references to urban culture, Kornheiser is there to be the old white guy from New York, that's his schtick. Personally, I really like Kornheiser, but he totally needs an urban or younger point of view. It's what makes the whole show interesting. It's an old jew arguing with a black guy or a young white guy.

Edit: And when Bob Ryan and Kornheiser are on the show it's like a weekend WEEI or Sports Hub show.

Edited by Darnell's Son, 23 September 2010 - 02:37 AM.

[johnmd20]

It also doesn't help that he has an annoying, nasally voice.

People rail on his voice but it really isn't that bad. After listening to a multitude of Podcasts, I have to say I'm pretty used to his voice and don't notice it at all.

TV is very hard and Overcalls is right, he needs some time before it can be decided if he's good or not.

[Sille Skrub]

Ask ANYONE how much they care about his hair, supermodel girlfriend, and the Audi he drives, and nobody gives two shits in the city, I guarantee it. It's about what's done on the field. But he presents it like the city of Boston is up in arms over THAT stuff.

Broads care about the hair, that's about it.

I thought he did a decent job on PTI yesterday. Didn't see it on Tuesday.

[shlincoln]

 It's an old jew arguing with a black guy or a young white guy.

It did feel like they were playing up the old guard/next generation schtick yesterday.  Which got undercut just a bit by the next generation already going gray.

[teddykgb]

He was on D&C this morning, which I thought was curious given his eruption about WEEI last year. Don't know why or what he was pimping, unless it was just PTI all week

[Stu Nahan]

I hate fantasy sports. I don't care about them, I don't care that you play them, I don't care that Mark Sanchez just won you your game versus another fat, overweight slob with a computer.

If you want to indulge in your fantasy, do it kid-style and pick up a goddamn football and play some touch in the park and pretend you're Randy Moss.

If you're getting this worked up over people playing fantasy sports, maybe you're the one who should head for the park. Take a walk, get some fresh air and clear your head. No one is forcing you to play them or pay attention to them. As JMOH pointed out, when you're making the same argument as Mitch Albom, you might want to reconsider things.

[johnmd20]

Are you Mitch Albom and do you write for Parade Magazine?

My lord is that column hilarious. There are 50 fantastic jokes in it, I am in awe of the writing and the humor. This is the highlight, but it was tough to pick one. Just beating the "great" into the ground went from funny, to kind of repetitive, to absolute comic perfection.
================
Kudos, you unmitigated hack, on sneaking in a "[mom's] basement" reference. Super topical and funny and great writing. You're great. You're super great at writing. You won the Red Smith Award! That's awesome for you. You are great at what you do. You are a great writer. I love your writing and so does everyone else. It's great. Your writing is great. You are fresh and original and great at writing, because you are great and a great writer and great.
================

[Alternate34]

My lord is that column hilarious. There are 50 fantastic jokes in it, I am in awe of the writing and the humor. This is the highlight, but it was tough to pick one. Just beating the "great" into the ground went from funny, to kind of repetitive, to absolute comic perfection.
================
Kudos, you unmitigated hack, on sneaking in a "[mom's] basement" reference. Super topical and funny and great writing. You're great. You're super great at writing. You won the Red Smith Award! That's awesome for you. You are great at what you do. You are a great writer. I love your writing and so does everyone else. It's great. Your writing is great. You are fresh and original and great at writing, because you are great and a great writer and great.
================

I know that this is the Bill Simmons thread, but that was funny and awesome. My favorite is when Mitch Albom makes fun of people who were good at math and paid attention in class from time to time. A perfect piece to tear apart and a great job doing it.

[Spacemans Bong]

I don't play them or pay attention to them but I'm sick of Simmons and other people cramming their stupid fantasy teams into other topics like anybody cares. Fantasy is like religion, best kept private.

[Stevie1der]

I don't play them or pay attention to them but I'm sick of Simmons and other people cramming their stupid fantasy teams into other topics like anybody cares. Fantasy is like religion, best kept private.

It's the sports equivalent of dreams, where the only interesting one is yours. I don't give a shit what your ex-boss did to you or who was chasing you last night, but I simply have to tell you about this weird dream where I was swimming in a pool of marmalade towards an island with a desk on it, and I kept swimming but it kept getting farther and farther away, and then I finally got there and started counting staples, but it was weird cause I had to count by twos, and whenever I got to 100 Dustin Pedroia kept coming by and emptying the box on the ground while laughing so I'm wondering if this means I should take that job in Atlanta.

[Jody Reeds Well]

I think he is doing pretty well on PTI. This has to be pretty difficult for him considering a majority of his broadcast could be classified as glorified phone conversations.

But he made some pretty large errors yesterday:
1. Professing how he was a Poly Sci major in college and then confusing zero-sum game with Mutually Assured Destruction. I was surprised that Tony Reali didn't correct him about this during the errors segment.
2. During the fill in the blank game, selecting big words that would make him sound smart, and then not being able to properly say them on television.
3. Saying how he loves everyone's FIP or other appropriate acronym. I am not sure if he is saying that to come off as intelligent, or if he is saying them ironically. But it sure sounds like he has no idea what he is talking about.

[drleather2001]

I know that this is the Bill Simmons thread, but that was funny and awesome. My favorite is when Mitch Albom makes fun of people who were good at math and paid attention in class from time to time. A perfect piece to tear apart and a great job doing it.

My favorite part was that he goes on and on about the glories of going to an actual game, and how kids today don't do that and are lost in a world of fake baseball (more or less). And he concludes the fucking thing by saying how great it was when HE was a kid to listen to baseball on a transistor radio, which also prevents people from "seeing the grimacing batter" and all that shit he raves about.

[dwightinright]

I hate fantasy sports. I don't care about them, I don't care that you play them, I don't care that Mark Sanchez just won you your game versus another fat, overweight slob with a computer.

If you want to indulge in your fantasy, do it kid-style and pick up a goddamn football and play some touch in the park and pretend you're Randy Moss.

EDIT: Damn you JMOH.


New NFL column up. It's a good thing he "figured out" the NFL this year. Otherwise he might not be 1 game over .500 in his picks.

Edited by dwightinright, 24 September 2010 - 12:47 PM.

[Grin&MartyBarret]

Glad to see that guest hosting PTI didn't cut into his schedule so much that he couldn't fix the NFL this week.

[lostjumper]

Glad to see that guest hosting PTI didn't cut into his schedule so much that he couldn't fix the NFL this week.

Shockingly in this weeks pickem column, he a) has a whole paragraph about his fantasy football teams and b) rags on Brady for his hair. Never saw either of those coming. You're nodding you head sadly right now.

[tims4wins]

Speaking of the Saints, Drew Brees landed on all three of my 2010 fantasy teams, which is something I usually try to avoid: fantasy QB monogamy. Now there's too much at stake for me and Brees. For instance, he tortured me in Week 2: Needing a half-decent game from him to win two of my leagues, I ended up losing my East Coast matchup by a point and gutting out my West Coast matchup by 0.15 points (gotta love decimals!). It's fun to have one guy mean SO much, but on the other hand … if anything happens to him, my entire fantasy year would have its knees taken out by Bernard Pollard. Just two weeks of this experience made me a fantasy QB polygamist. Never again.

FUCK YOU SIMMONS

[Shelterdog]

Shockingly in this weeks pickem column, he a) has a whole paragraph about his fantasy football teams and b) rags on Brady for his hair. Never saw either of those coming. You're nodding you head sadly right now.

I don't get the sense that anyone in Boston does give a darn about Brady's hair. His shitty play, sure. His missing some offseason practices, maybe. But his hair or his dating supermodels? That's kind of what quarerbacks are supposed to do.

[CoolPapaBellhorn]

The worst thing about Tom Brady's stinker at New Meadowlands last week: As things were getting worse and worse, CBS kept showing commercials for "Blue Bloods," the new cop show starring Tom Selleck and Bridget Moynahan … and I swear, the guy in charge of CBS ads was a Jets fan getting a massive kick out of it. I think they had two "Blue Bloods" ads scheduled for that game and ended up showing 28. Brady would overthrow someone, we'd punt, they'd go to commercial, and then, "Coming Friday … BLUE BLOODS!" Screw you, CBS guy in charge of the ads.

What the hell is wrong with him? What sane human being, or at least what true football fan, was sitting there during this game thinking about convoluted connections between the advertising for one of the network's new shows, and the Patriots' quarterback? A male sports fan watching this game probably:

A) flipped to the Red Zone free preview or another game during commercials
B) if forced to watch the commercials, probably didn't really pay any attention to them
C) if able to pay enough attention to absorb the content, probably didn't care much about another network cop show
D) if interested, didn't make the immediate connection between Brady and his ex-girlfriend who co-stars in the show
E) if that engaged, doesn't stress over it enough to think it's a network conspiracy spearheaded by a rogue Jets fan
F) if that paranoid, doesn't see the fact that our quarterback used to bang a famous actress as a bad thing, or at least not relevant to the current game
G) if that feminine, doesn't get personally offended or distracted by this happening
H) if that shallow, doesn't feel the need to point this fact out to the entire world
I) if that needy, doesn't consider this the worst thing about Tom Brady's stinker.

Does he think Brady was aware of this nefarious plot during the game? Does he realize that nobody cares? Does he understand how following this point up with stories about hosting PTI and his stupid cashmere jacket means that half of his "thoughts" about the Patriots-Bills game had nothing to do with the Patriots or the Bills?

[Salva135]

I don't get the sense that anyone in Boston does give a darn about Brady's hair. His shitty play, sure. His missing some offseason practices, maybe. But his hair or his dating supermodels? That's kind of what quarerbacks are supposed to do.

This is really a bizarre crusade Simmons has taken up on behalf of virtually no one. People might make jabs about his hair and general lifestyle but he's been living the "pretty boy" lifestyle for years, and no one in Boston gives a shit. Win games and you can tattoo your entire body green for all fans care. Pretending like this is some affront to him and his "salt of the earth" brethren (he either used that phrase or something similar on PTI) is pathetic.

[kenneycb]

What the hell is wrong with him? What sane human being, or at least what true football fan, was sitting there during this game thinking about convoluted connections between the advertising for one of the network's new shows, and the Patriots' quarterback? A male sports fan watching this game probably:

A) flipped to the Red Zone free preview or another game during commercials
B) if forced to watch the commercials, probably didn't really pay any attention to them
C) if able to pay enough attention to absorb the content, probably didn't care much about another network cop show
D) if interested, didn't make the immediate connection between Brady and his ex-girlfriend who co-stars in the show
E) if that engaged, doesn't stress over it enough to think it's a network conspiracy spearheaded by a rogue Jets fan
F) if that paranoid, doesn't see the fact that our quarterback used to bang a famous actress as a bad thing, or at least not relevant to the current game
G) if that feminine, doesn't get personally offended or distracted by this happening
H) if that shallow, doesn't feel the need to point this fact out to the entire world
I) if that needy, doesn't consider this the worst thing about Tom Brady's stinker.

Does he think Brady was aware of this nefarious plot during the game? Does he realize that nobody cares? Does he understand how following this point up with stories about hosting PTI and his stupid cashmere jacket means that half of his "thoughts" about the Patriots-Bills game had nothing to do with the Patriots or the Bills?

Holy overreaction Batman. Back off the ledge. It was a light-hearted joke aimed at the ironic situation because, you know, he's paid to do that and not give in-depth analysis on how the Patriots run-defense will hold up against Buffalo's ground game.

And honestly, whenever I hear the name Bridget Moynihan I immediately connect her to Brady. I literally can't think of anything of note she's done besides having a child with Brady. But what would I now, I'm just a male sports fan that watched the game.

Edited by kenneycb, 25 September 2010 - 04:00 PM.

[dirtynine]

I literally can't think of anything of note she's done besides having a child with Brady.

"I, Robot" baby! Masterpiece!

[dwightinright]

Decent week of picks for Mr. Simmons.

[dynomite]

Sox fighting for one of the most improbable playoff berths in recent memory, ARod hits a massive home run in the 7th inning to lift a drowning Yankees team after we can't score with guys on 2nd and 3rd and 1 out in the top of the 7th, I check Simmons's twitter... and see a comment from 5 seconds ago about Braylon Edwards scoring in the Jets-Dolphins game. Un huh.

Edited by dynomite, 26 September 2010 - 09:33 PM.

[Drocca]

The Red Sox are not "fighting" for anything. That's pretty nit-picky.

[dynomite]

The Red Sox are not "fighting" for anything. That's pretty nit-picky.

Fine. But they're playing the Yankees, and the other game is between Miami and New York.

[Drocca]

Two division rivals for a sport that he follows way more, writes a weekly column about and has a weekly podcast about.

[scottyno]

Two division rivals for a sport that he follows way more, writes a weekly column about and has a weekly podcast about.

compared to a team that he wrote a book about

[sibpin]

The guy has 4 TVs in his garage. He's watching both games, and probably Mad Men too.

[Spacemans Bong]

compared to a team that he wrote a book about

And the team who made him who he is. If he didn't care about baseball and wrote about the Celtics and Patriots in the late 90s, he would maybe have a blog like Boston Dirt Dogs on Boston.com today. More likely he'd be blogging about the great refinancing rates you can get with Back Bay Mortgages so call Bill at 617-485-9354.

Edited by Spacemans Bong, 27 September 2010 - 05:12 AM.

[HoyaSoxa]

And the team who made him who he is. If he didn't care about baseball and wrote about the Celtics and Patriots in the late 90s, he would maybe have a blog like Boston Dirt Dogs on Boston.com today. More likely he'd be blogging about the great refinancing rates you can get with Back Bay Mortgages so call Bill at 617-485-9354.

Guys? He also tweeted this:

Watching Sox game with my dad + we got surprisingly overexcited for that season-saving Bill Hall hit. The 2010 Red Sox WILL ... NOT ... DIE.

and then this:

And... the 2010 Red Sox died.

And he wasn't the only supposedly die hard Sox fan watching 3 different things last night.

[mikeford]

Simmons recently protected his tweets, so now I can no longer be blessed with his 140 characters of wisdom, insight and true fandom™.

[BS_SoxFan]

Simmons recently protected his tweets, so now I can no longer be blessed with his 140 characters of wisdom, insight and true fandom™.

Are you sure he didn't just block you? I can still see his tweets without signing into my account.

[mikeford]

Are you sure he didn't just block you? I can still see his tweets without signing into my account.

Oh I know he blocked me, I guess twitter just handles how blocking works differently. Previously you just couldnt "follow" someone but could still read their stuff unless it was protected.

[Jody Reeds Well]

Oh I know he blocked me, I guess twitter just handles how blocking works differently. Previously you just couldnt "follow" someone but could still read their stuff unless it was protected.

Why did he block you?

[mikeford]

No clue. My guess is comments in the various Simmons threads on this board, honestly.