The win streak starts now.
Edited by shoebox91, 27 April 2006 - 11:13 PM.
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4/28, Sox need a win
Started by
shoebox91
, Apr 27 2006 11:12 PM
549 replies to this topic
#1
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- 449 posts
Posted 27 April 2006 - 11:12 PM
Enough is enough. The Sox need a win.
The win streak starts now.
The win streak starts now.
#2
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- 3,560 posts
Posted 27 April 2006 - 11:29 PM
If shoebox is starting, I am following.
The mojo is strong with this one.
win.
The mojo is strong with this one.
win.
#3
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- 8,710 posts
too many flowers
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:15 AM
It looks like it's time for some true Southern barbecue mojo to help pull the Sox out of their collective funk.
#5
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- 14,490 posts
darrell foster wallace
Posted 28 April 2006 - 09:31 AM
I'll throw my hat in the ring here. It's time. Some chopped liver for you to munch on.
#6
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- 10,881 posts
Earl of Acie
Posted 28 April 2006 - 10:04 AM
4/28/06--Vietnam Syndrome
It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.
1. That was bad. Really bad. B-A-D bad. If last night’s game was a German city it would be Baden-Baden. If it was an English aristocrat it would be Lord Baden Powell. How bad was it? Well, we can measure it a few ways. We can look at it quantitatively and say the Red Sox lost to Cleveland by 12 runs 15-3. That’s 50% worse than the 9-1 loss the night before. Or we can look at it qualitatively and say the Red Sox pitched worse, hit worse and defended worse than the Indians. Or, we could look at it comparatively. We can note that as early as the bottom of the first inning, Jose stopped monitoring the game, choosing instead to catch up on the news of the day. That’s right. Pending nuclear Armageddon in the Middle East? Less frightening than watching good Saint Beckett pitch. Internationally inactivity in the face of genocide in Darfur? Less horrifying than Red Sox inactivity in the face of 2-4 start to the road trip.
Jose is not saying that the performance of the Red Sox last night is actually worse than the slaughter of thousands or an Iranian madman getting the bomb. (Note: Okay, Jose knows the U.S. is adamantly opposed to Iran developing an atom bomb, but how would we feel about them developing a Mota Bomb? If Iran developed their own Guillermo Mota would it put our international dominance of middle relief at risk?) Jose is just saying that untold human suffering does not make him feel half as powerless as watching a pitching staff that can’t get anyone out.
So now the Red Sox, once off to such a good start, have lost 4 of 6 to good teams on this road trip. Their confidence is shaken, and they are beginning to doubt their ability to score runs as the bottom of the lineup struggles. They are tentative, wary. They have the baseball equivalent of Vietnam syndrome. On the upside, they now have three games against Tampax Bay which is the Major League Baseball equivalent of an invasion of Grenada. It will be quick, it will be easy, it will build confidence, and it may well result in individual Red Sox bringing home buff, underachieving medical students.
2. Last week, Jose got a comment from the son of a high ranking state official. Let’s say it was State Comptroller Martin J. Benison. It wasn’t, but the Comptroller Perkins character on the Simpsons has convinced Jose that Comptroller is far and beyond the funniest state office, so let’s say it was the Comptroller’s son.
Jose saw this sudden indirect access to an influential public official as the perfect opportunity for him to start lobbying for some critical state decisions. His initial thought was that he should lobby for the declaration of a “Jose Melendez Day” in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Since Jose’s lifetime ERA was 3.47, Jose though that perhaps the day could be March 47th, but then he remembered that there are only 30 days in March so he scrapped the whole idea.
Then Jose thought that maybe instead of looking for ways to promote himself, for once, just once, he should try to use his influence to help someone who is down on his luck. That’s how Jose got the idea to lobby the Comptroller’s son to declare it “Josh Bard Day.” Jose’s theory was that Josh Bard Day should be January 1, New Years Day because of the synergy there. We wouldn’t even have to come up with any new traditions since people already pay tribute to Bard on New Year’s by watching the ball drop.
3. According to Keith Reed of the Boston Globe, a Maine-based blogger is being sued by the tourism department of the former Massachusetts province for defamation. Leaving aside the fact that taking the time to create and update a blog dedicated to attacking a State Tourism Agency is probably grounds for commitment to a psychiatric institution, Jose is concerned that this case could have a chilling effect on his rights and the rights of bloggers around the country to defame, libel and character assassinate public figures, acquaintances and obscure government bureaus in very cold states.
It’s not that Jose would worry about losing a case. He is quite comfortable that he could prove any of his claims in court. There is plenty of evidence that Johnny Damon is a treacherous, picocephalic and that David Wells is largely made of benign, yet useless fat cells, so the precedent established by the acquittal of John Peter Zenger, Printer of the New York Weekly Journal in 1735, that truth is a defense from charges of libel, should hold. But could Jose possibly bear the legal costs of fighting a team of high priced lawyers set on proving that Grady Little is not dumber than a rock? Just the cost of giving both Little and a rock IQ tests would consume far more money than this blog has ever made. Then there would be the cost of expert psychologists to debate whether Grady’s emotional intelligence counts as actual intelligence. (Note: It doesn’t.) And the next thing you know Jose is living in shopping cart under that Comm Ave. Overpass just East of Kenmore Square holding a sign reading “will compare baseball player to Enguerrand VII de Coucy for food.”
I’m Jose Melendez, and those are my KEYS TO THE GAME.
It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.
1. That was bad. Really bad. B-A-D bad. If last night’s game was a German city it would be Baden-Baden. If it was an English aristocrat it would be Lord Baden Powell. How bad was it? Well, we can measure it a few ways. We can look at it quantitatively and say the Red Sox lost to Cleveland by 12 runs 15-3. That’s 50% worse than the 9-1 loss the night before. Or we can look at it qualitatively and say the Red Sox pitched worse, hit worse and defended worse than the Indians. Or, we could look at it comparatively. We can note that as early as the bottom of the first inning, Jose stopped monitoring the game, choosing instead to catch up on the news of the day. That’s right. Pending nuclear Armageddon in the Middle East? Less frightening than watching good Saint Beckett pitch. Internationally inactivity in the face of genocide in Darfur? Less horrifying than Red Sox inactivity in the face of 2-4 start to the road trip.
Jose is not saying that the performance of the Red Sox last night is actually worse than the slaughter of thousands or an Iranian madman getting the bomb. (Note: Okay, Jose knows the U.S. is adamantly opposed to Iran developing an atom bomb, but how would we feel about them developing a Mota Bomb? If Iran developed their own Guillermo Mota would it put our international dominance of middle relief at risk?) Jose is just saying that untold human suffering does not make him feel half as powerless as watching a pitching staff that can’t get anyone out.
So now the Red Sox, once off to such a good start, have lost 4 of 6 to good teams on this road trip. Their confidence is shaken, and they are beginning to doubt their ability to score runs as the bottom of the lineup struggles. They are tentative, wary. They have the baseball equivalent of Vietnam syndrome. On the upside, they now have three games against Tampax Bay which is the Major League Baseball equivalent of an invasion of Grenada. It will be quick, it will be easy, it will build confidence, and it may well result in individual Red Sox bringing home buff, underachieving medical students.
2. Last week, Jose got a comment from the son of a high ranking state official. Let’s say it was State Comptroller Martin J. Benison. It wasn’t, but the Comptroller Perkins character on the Simpsons has convinced Jose that Comptroller is far and beyond the funniest state office, so let’s say it was the Comptroller’s son.
Jose saw this sudden indirect access to an influential public official as the perfect opportunity for him to start lobbying for some critical state decisions. His initial thought was that he should lobby for the declaration of a “Jose Melendez Day” in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Since Jose’s lifetime ERA was 3.47, Jose though that perhaps the day could be March 47th, but then he remembered that there are only 30 days in March so he scrapped the whole idea.
Then Jose thought that maybe instead of looking for ways to promote himself, for once, just once, he should try to use his influence to help someone who is down on his luck. That’s how Jose got the idea to lobby the Comptroller’s son to declare it “Josh Bard Day.” Jose’s theory was that Josh Bard Day should be January 1, New Years Day because of the synergy there. We wouldn’t even have to come up with any new traditions since people already pay tribute to Bard on New Year’s by watching the ball drop.
3. According to Keith Reed of the Boston Globe, a Maine-based blogger is being sued by the tourism department of the former Massachusetts province for defamation. Leaving aside the fact that taking the time to create and update a blog dedicated to attacking a State Tourism Agency is probably grounds for commitment to a psychiatric institution, Jose is concerned that this case could have a chilling effect on his rights and the rights of bloggers around the country to defame, libel and character assassinate public figures, acquaintances and obscure government bureaus in very cold states.
It’s not that Jose would worry about losing a case. He is quite comfortable that he could prove any of his claims in court. There is plenty of evidence that Johnny Damon is a treacherous, picocephalic and that David Wells is largely made of benign, yet useless fat cells, so the precedent established by the acquittal of John Peter Zenger, Printer of the New York Weekly Journal in 1735, that truth is a defense from charges of libel, should hold. But could Jose possibly bear the legal costs of fighting a team of high priced lawyers set on proving that Grady Little is not dumber than a rock? Just the cost of giving both Little and a rock IQ tests would consume far more money than this blog has ever made. Then there would be the cost of expert psychologists to debate whether Grady’s emotional intelligence counts as actual intelligence. (Note: It doesn’t.) And the next thing you know Jose is living in shopping cart under that Comm Ave. Overpass just East of Kenmore Square holding a sign reading “will compare baseball player to Enguerrand VII de Coucy for food.”
I’m Jose Melendez, and those are my KEYS TO THE GAME.
#7
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- 596 posts
Posted 28 April 2006 - 11:25 AM
Just the cost of giving both Little and a rock IQ tests would consume far more money than this blog has ever made.
Priceless. Just . . . .priceless.
Thanks, Jose, you made a tough pill to swallow go down "in the most delightful way"
How about some rock 'em sock 'em Sox tonite?
#8
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- 601 posts
Posted 28 April 2006 - 11:34 AM
Blame me. I jinxed 'em by going to the game last night. 5 hours of driving roundtrip from Columbus, just to sit there and freeze while watching Paul Byrd look like Sandy Koufax and the Sox swing the bats (and field) like St. Mary's School for Boys.
They're slumping at the plate and starting to cool off on the mound. Let's hope Tampa provides the remedy, and we start hitting again, and pitching again, and fielding again, and not get into any beanball wars or skirmishes at home plate.
Hopefully not too much to ask!
They're slumping at the plate and starting to cool off on the mound. Let's hope Tampa provides the remedy, and we start hitting again, and pitching again, and fielding again, and not get into any beanball wars or skirmishes at home plate.
Hopefully not too much to ask!
#11
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- 1,227 posts
Posted 28 April 2006 - 02:45 PM
That's enough poopoo for one week.
Time to put the other guys on their heels and take the game.
Win tonight.
Time to put the other guys on their heels and take the game.
Win tonight.
#12
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Posted 28 April 2006 - 03:46 PM
From SPTimes.com link
WATCH FOR ...
FOSSUM'S FLIPS: Rays starter Casey Fossum likes to change speeds and isn't afraid to get slower, slower and slower, sometimes into the 40-mph range, against Manny Ramirez and other big Boston hitters. Fossum is 1-2 with a 3.80 ERA against his former team.
SHIFTY MOVES: The Rays will again try to limit the impact of Boston DH David Ortiz by using their "34" defense, a radical shift in which they use 41/2 outfielders and leave the left side of the infield unguarded.
MATT ON THE MOUND: Sox starter Matt Clement, who was hit on the head by a line drive during a July 2005 start at the Trop, is 3-0 with a 2.86 ERA overall against the Rays.
#13
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- 8,155 posts
America's Dairyland
Posted 28 April 2006 - 04:11 PM
Shoe starts game thread?
this requires "Luke, I am your father" I am unoriginal and unfunny. Please put me out of my misery.
this requires "Luke, I am your father" I am unoriginal and unfunny. Please put me out of my misery.
#16
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- 981 posts
Posted 28 April 2006 - 05:13 PM
Maybe some Warrior of the Dark I am unoriginal and unfunny. Please put me out of my misery. He enjoys DRay meat.
#17
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- 847 posts
Posted 28 April 2006 - 05:13 PM
So tennis is more important than the Red Sox, huh? Even if it is just the pregame show....
#18
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- 8,518 posts
stupidity monitor
Posted 28 April 2006 - 05:22 PM
Rays that I like more than Tampa Bay's
#20
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- 11,920 posts
sublime
Posted 28 April 2006 - 05:47 PM
I uisually don't post before games, time to change it up. Score some runs lads.
#21
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- 696 posts
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:04 PM
I have to go listen to Shostakovich string quartets.
Classical music I am unoriginal and unfunny. Please put me out of my misery, damn it.
Classical music I am unoriginal and unfunny. Please put me out of my misery, damn it.
#22
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- 6,731 posts
SoSH Member
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:09 PM
Trot Nixon starting against LHP. WilyMo must be in CF.
Time to pound that skinny little geek with the girl's name into the ground.
Edit: although NESN just had a clip with Fossum in it looking like an unshaven, gruff coal miner. Who knew?
Time to pound that skinny little geek with the girl's name into the ground.
Edit: although NESN just had a clip with Fossum in it looking like an unshaven, gruff coal miner. Who knew?
Edited by OCD SS, 28 April 2006 - 06:14 PM.
#23
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- 11,480 posts
wise ass al kaprielian
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:13 PM
shoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooe
oooooooooooooooooooooe
#24
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- 11,480 posts
wise ass al kaprielian
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:15 PM
Why is this a 7:15 start? Do the seniors need the extra 10 minutes to get there from the early bird special at Old Country Buffet?
#25
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- 4,684 posts
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:15 PM
And I have not been posting beforehand so here goes. Pope Clement saysI uisually don't post before games, time to change it up. Score some runs lads.
"Fuck it Matt, get out there and pitch a gem."
#27
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- 11,480 posts
wise ass al kaprielian
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:18 PM
Dunno, doesn't ring a bell. But what I do like is that the following picture came up on a GIS for Ty Wigginton
Edited by The Napkin, 28 April 2006 - 06:19 PM.
#28
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- 6,387 posts
SoSH Member
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:18 PM
Frank Catalanotto hits a 2-run HR for the Jays. I hate him slightly less.
I know what he looks like. Who does he look like?
I know what he looks like. Who does he look like?
Edited by templeUsox, 28 April 2006 - 06:19 PM.
#29
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- 2,316 posts
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:18 PM
good times yanks dwon 2-0 after 2 batters wright getting BOOOED
bad time Steve Howe dead in truck crash
bad time Steve Howe dead in truck crash
#30
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- 6,265 posts
SoSH Member
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:20 PM
Crap. Loretta made a good bid for a double there. Good rip.
#32
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- 11,480 posts
wise ass al kaprielian
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:20 PM
That might be the loudest I have ever heard Tropicano field.
Plus, I wanted to post this pic again
Plus, I wanted to post this pic again
#37
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- 11,480 posts
wise ass al kaprielian
#40
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- 6,265 posts
SoSH Member
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:25 PM
Motherfucker.
I expect to see some fancy stat on the main board tomorrow explaining in lurid mathematical detail just how badly that sucked.
I expect to see some fancy stat on the main board tomorrow explaining in lurid mathematical detail just how badly that sucked.
#41
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- 923 posts
trophy rack
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:25 PM
Shit...I saw that one coming.
Ball you can get in the air, Manny. Great hitter, but I hate him as a situational hitter.
Ball you can get in the air, Manny. Great hitter, but I hate him as a situational hitter.
#46
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- 6,731 posts
SoSH Member
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:30 PM
Motherfucker.
I expect to see some fancy stat on the main board tomorrow explaining in lurid mathematical detail just how badly that sucked.
Why wait?
In the 1st inning, with 1 out and runners on 1st and 3rd the Sox on average would score 1.27 runs, and should score at least one run 66.52% of the time. Those are good numbers.
Instead they got jack shit.
#47
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- 11,480 posts
wise ass al kaprielian
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:30 PM
Aw man, I didn't need to see/hear that again
#48
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- 11,480 posts
wise ass al kaprielian
Posted 28 April 2006 - 06:31 PM
That was a strike on the bounce
