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The Legitimacy of the Olympiad


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#1 Chemistry Schmemistry


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Posted 11 January 2010 - 07:49 PM

Ah, yes, it's once again time for that sports competition for people who don't like sports. When we learn that the only relevant athletes in the world are from the United States, and winter sports amounts to some vague mention of traditional competitions like skiing and hockey, and endless profiles of Carrot Top and his friends who somehow managed to get the X-Games merged in with the ancient Olympics.

Then there's this weird version of the roller derby on ice skates, which combines the Bay City Bombers and the Los Angeles T-Birds with the drama of never knowing who won until a judge decides which of the 17,000 fouls that took place in the last 22 seconds resulted in a disqualification. And we can't forget figure skating - the everlasting tribute to pre-pubescent midget girls who spin.

It's always good for a few laughs, though. I'm glad I didn't skip it entirely in 2006. Who could forget the American chick who had a gold medal wrapped up in the sport that combines snowboarding with mud wrestling and croquet, only to lose in a Leon-Lett-inspired orgiastic display of American hot-doggery? Well played, whatsername.

#2 Fred not Lynn


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Posted 11 January 2010 - 09:29 PM

QUOTE (Chemistry Schmemistry @ Jan 11 2010, 05:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
with the drama of never knowing who won until a judge decides which of the 17,000 fouls that took place in the last 22 seconds resulted in a disqualification.

How does this fundamentally differ from waiting expectantly for a man in a striped shirt to explain why he just threw a yellow handkerchief on the ground?

Edited by Fred not Lynn, 11 January 2010 - 09:30 PM.


#3 Chemistry Schmemistry


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Posted 12 January 2010 - 04:22 AM

QUOTE (Fred not Lynn @ Jan 11 2010, 09:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How does this fundamentally differ from waiting expectantly for a man in a striped shirt to explain why he just threw a yellow handkerchief on the ground?


You might have uncovered the fundamental meaning behind the ice derby - it is intended as social commentary on the fact that holding can be called on most plays. Reductio ad absurdum.

#4 Fred not Lynn


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Posted 12 January 2010 - 06:58 PM

QUOTE (Chemistry Schmemistry @ Jan 12 2010, 02:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You might have uncovered the fundamental meaning behind the ice derby - it is intended as social commentary on the fact that holding can be called on most plays. Reductio ad absurdum.

I am actually of the legitimate belief that in Short Track the referee SHOULD wear a striped shirt and throw a flag immediately when he sees a disqualfiable infraction - to be discussed by the full team of judges and announced, mid-ice NFL style shortly after the race.

And comparing it to roller derby is SO 1998. The trendy every-four-year pundit draws a NASCAR paralell these days.

Other quadrennial cliches to consider;

- Yes, "Luger" sounds like "Loser"
- Yes, the two-man luge appears to be a homo-erotic event
- It would be funner and funnier if they actually shot people during the biathalon
- Further to the biathalon, if would be funny if the combined the shoothing with [insert other sport here]

All those jokes have been being told every four years since the 1980s - lets try to find a little new material here, folks.

Edited by Fred not Lynn, 12 January 2010 - 07:04 PM.


#5 Worst Trade Evah


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Posted 14 January 2010 - 05:03 PM

QUOTE (Chemistry Schmemistry @ Jan 11 2010, 07:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ah, yes, it's once again time for that sports competition for people who don't like sports. When we learn that the only relevant athletes in the world are from the United States, and winter sports amounts to some vague mention of traditional competitions like skiing and hockey, and endless profiles of Carrot Top and his friends who somehow managed to get the X-Games merged in with the ancient Olympics.

Then there's this weird version of the roller derby on ice skates, which combines the Bay City Bombers and the Los Angeles T-Birds with the drama of never knowing who won until a judge decides which of the 17,000 fouls that took place in the last 22 seconds resulted in a disqualification. And we can't forget figure skating - the everlasting tribute to pre-pubescent midget girls who spin.

It's always good for a few laughs, though. I'm glad I didn't skip it entirely in 2006. Who could forget the American chick who had a gold medal wrapped up in the sport that combines snowboarding with mud wrestling and croquet, only to lose in a Leon-Lett-inspired orgiastic display of American hot-doggery? Well played, whatsername.

This post is exactly where I am with respect to the Winter Olympics. Great, great post. I remember wondering when all this stupid X-Games crap ended up in the Olympics.

#6 Naehring11

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Posted 15 January 2010 - 09:24 AM

QUOTE (Worst Trade Evah @ Jan 14 2010, 05:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This post is exactly where I am with respect to the Winter Olympics. Great, great post. I remember wondering when all this stupid X-Games crap ended up in the Olympics.


Exactly! These young kids are ruining the games. And what's with this downhill skiing?!? In my day they used to ski uphill!

#7 Fred not Lynn


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Posted 15 January 2010 - 11:27 AM

QUOTE (Naehring11 @ Jan 15 2010, 08:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Exactly! These young kids are ruining the games. And what's with this downhill skiing?!? In my day they used to ski uphill!

The Winter Olympics were really the grandfather of the X-Games. Fashion aside, the "classic" Winter Games events, like bobsled, the downhill and ski jumping are as extreme as anything in the X-Games.

#8 Spacemans Bong


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Posted 27 January 2010 - 06:56 AM

I love the Winter Olympics because there's really about 1/50th the bullshit of the Summer Olympics. This will be my first Olympics not on American television - and in a country which is a doormat for the Winter Olympics - which will be pretty interesting.

Though I can't really get over the fact they held it in a place that doesn't snow.



#9 barbed wire Bob


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Posted 27 January 2010 - 11:39 AM

QUOTE (Spacemans Bong @ Jan 27 2010, 04:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This will be my first Olympics not on American television - and in a country which is a doormat for the Winter Olympics - which will be pretty interesting.


A few years back I was in the Ukraine on a business trip and I watched a lot of the Winter Olympics on Eurosport tv. The coverage was excellent. They showed events other than figure skating and there were no fluff pieces on the most photogenic american athelete.

#10 Haunted


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Posted 27 January 2010 - 12:12 PM

QUOTE (barbed wire Bob @ Jan 27 2010, 11:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
A few years back I was in the Ukraine on a business trip and I watched a lot of the Winter Olympics on Eurosport tv. The coverage was excellent. They showed events other than figure skating and there were no fluff pieces on the most photogenic american athelete.

This is my biggest beef with Olympic coverage. It's wall-to-wall figure skating. It's gotten better as coverage has been split up among several channels, but still it seems like figure skating is on non-stop.

#11 Mark Schofield


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Posted 27 January 2010 - 12:15 PM

QUOTE (Haunted @ Jan 27 2010, 12:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This is my biggest beef with Olympic coverage. It's wall-to-wall figure skating. It's gotten better as coverage has been split up among several channels, but still it seems like figure skating is on non-stop.

Figure skating is on non-stop on the major network (NBC) but in the last few Winter Games, I've been able to follow some of the more interesting (IMO) sports on USA/CNBC. Plus, I know there will be stuff streamed online as well.



#12 Maalox


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Posted 27 January 2010 - 03:51 PM

You guys need to get NBC Universal Sports. I get it over the airwaves. It's basically all skiing all the time in the winter. Some sledding. It's a riot.

#13 TheYaz67

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Posted 27 January 2010 - 07:05 PM

Oh, c'mon! Without the winter Olympics, we would have never witnessed this:



#14 Maalox


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Posted 28 January 2010 - 09:36 AM

QUOTE (TheYaz67 @ Jan 27 2010, 09:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh, c'mon! Without the winter Olympics, we would have never witnessed this:


I need to be told whether this is irony because I am not sharp enough to figure it out for myself.

And if you are going to impugn guys flying 60MPH 30 feet in the air, you are gonna have to deal with me, Paco.

#15 Mark Schofield


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Posted 28 January 2010 - 09:46 AM

QUOTE (Maalox @ Jan 28 2010, 09:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I need to be told whether this is irony because I am not sharp enough to figure it out for myself.

And if you are going to impugn guys flying 60MPH 30 feet in the air, you are gonna have to deal with me, Paco.

Eddie the Eagle!

Guy was awesome fun to watch.

#16 biollante


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Posted 30 January 2010 - 07:06 AM

That was really one of the funnier wikipedia pages I have read. Great nickname. Even better when he decided to record songs in Finnish !

#17 DannyHeep


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Posted 30 January 2010 - 09:19 AM

QUOTE (Worst Trade Evah @ Jan 14 2010, 05:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This post is exactly where I am with respect to the Winter Olympics. Great, great post. I remember wondering when all this stupid X-Games crap ended up in the Olympics.


Yes we should only play sports that the Greeks played.

Bring back ice jousting!

#18 Fred not Lynn


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Posted 30 January 2010 - 02:53 PM

QUOTE (mascho @ Jan 28 2010, 08:46 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Eddie the Eagle!

Guy was awesome fun to watch.

The only thing legitimate about Eddie the Eagle is that his mother was married to his father when he was concieved.

#19 BrazilianSoxFan

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Posted 11 February 2010 - 04:01 PM

Polish newspaper claims 'Pedobear' is 2010 Vancouver Olympic mascot

http://www.telegraph...pic-mascot.html