Jump to content


Yo! You're not logged in. Why am I seeing this ad?

Photo

Tiger Woods Penbis Accident


This topic has been archived. This means that you cannot reply to this topic.
1287 replies to this topic

#51 staz


  • Intangible


  • 4,766 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 04:16 PM

What is "She's got a photo shoot coming up and was trying to purge the big feast without Tiger knowing, but got caught mid hurl," Alex.

#52 jdubbya

  • 465 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 04:22 PM

I PRAY that tonight we get to see his Escalade plowing down the highway in the Everglades with Steve Williams at the wheel...I could use another massive OJ-like trial.

Also, who's the happiest guy in the world today? Jack Nicklaus

#53 Rocco Graziosa


  • owns the lcd soundsystem


  • 11,335 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 04:23 PM

QUOTE (finnVT @ Nov 27 2009, 04:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I know you're kidding a bit here, but since several people have brought this up, but you can be charged for driving violations without being under the influence of anything. If he hit a tree on his neighbor's property (or the public-property fire hydrant), he could be charged for damages even if it was just because he was tired/not paying attention/is a bad driver, right?


I dunno, I just don't see people releasing statements of "charges pending" because he ran over a fucking fire hydrant. Maybe the charges pending are due to his wife's dead body in the back seat?

I could use another OJ/Tonya Harding like megastory. This year would FLY by.

Edited by Rocco Graziosa, 27 November 2009 - 04:24 PM.


#54 kenneycb


  • Hates Goose Island Beer; Loves Backdoor Play


  • 7,297 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 04:25 PM

QUOTE (Rocco Graziosa @ Nov 27 2009, 04:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I dunno, I just don't see people releasing statements of "charges pending" because he ran over a fucking fire hydrant. Maybe the charges pending are due to his wife's dead body in the back seat?

I could use another OJ/Tonya Harding like megastory. This year would FLY by.

I guess the "unstable" diagnosis would be a lot more apt in this scenario than in the previous ones mentioned.

#55 HomeRunBaker


  • sloppy seconds


  • 10,394 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 04:45 PM

QUOTE (cheekydave @ Nov 27 2009, 04:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just saw this on Twitter....

Shocking First pics (NSFG) of Tiger Woods accident http://is.gd/54QLF


Well, it looks sorta like a bus.



#56 SemperFidelisSox


  • suzyn


  • 10,666 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 04:47 PM

How quickly do you think Nike representatives were on the scene wiping blood and fingerprints off the hydrant?

#57 lanstein

  • 163 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 05:58 PM

QUOTE (smastroyin @ Nov 27 2009, 04:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Tiger smash into the 31 Flavors last night. I guess he might never golf again.


Thank you, Simone.

#58 JBill

  • 1,944 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 06:16 PM

QUOTE
A local police chief in Florida says Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to smash out the back window and helped get the golfer out of the car.

Windermere Police Chief Daniel Saylor told The Associated Press on Friday that Elin Nordegren told officers she was in the house when she heard the accident and came outside. Saylor says officers found Woods laying in the street with his wife hovering over him.

AP

Sure. We all know what really happened. She finds out about the affair, and tries to kill him with one of his own golf clubs.

Edit: TMZ is on it.
QUOTE
We're told Elin told cops about the argument at the scene of the accident and Tiger gave the same story to authorities at the hospital where he was treated.

One Florida law enforcement official called it "a domestic issue."

Elin apparently was able to forgive and forget -- according to Windermere Police Chief Daniel Saylor, Nordegren smashed out the back window of Tiger's car to help get him out.

Edited by JBill, 27 November 2009 - 06:29 PM.


#59 Foxy42

  • 2,800 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 06:28 PM

Such a shame if he was cheating...Elin is much hotter than the woman from the deadspin link...

#60 D-Lowe

  • 22 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 06:28 PM

If supposedly there is no alcohol or other substances in his system, well then, I think Mr.(?) Woods should get genetic testing to reveal how many x chromosomes it has.

#61 Maalox


  • full of shit, and proud of it


  • 49,118 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 06:56 PM

QUOTE (Rocco Graziosa @ Nov 27 2009, 06:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm gonna go with he was trying to run his wife over. What else could have "charges pending" with "no alcohol involved"?

If you can't conceive of criminally aggressive, anger-fueled driving with no substances involved, I want your commute.

They had a fight. He slammed the door, got in his car and left, had a private tantrum in the car which involved taking his hands off the wheel and closing his eyes. Lost control of the motor vehicle. "Reckless driving." Happens every day.

#62 staz


  • Intangible


  • 4,766 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 07:01 PM

ESPN ticker says wife bashed rear window of SUV so Tiger could climb out. Yeah, right.

Oh, this has all the makings...

#63 twoBshorty


  • Has friends with cellos


  • 1,929 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 07:39 PM

The evening news said that the wife helped him out of the car and when EMS arrived, they found him lying in the middle of the road drifting in and out of consciousness. Because clearly it is so much better to be passed out in the middle of the street than in the car? Or, I don't know, the grass? And how could he possibly have damaged the car so badly by hitting a hydrant that the window had to be beaten out to extricate him? This whole thing is so bizarre.

#64 SemperFidelisSox


  • suzyn


  • 10,666 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 07:52 PM

And keep in mind that this happened in a 09 Cadillac Escalade, which is pretty much a fucking tank. So Woods did so much damage to the driver side door and front of the car by hitting a fire hydrant and tree that his petite 5' 5" wife smashed the back window, climbed through to the front, and pulled out her barely conscious 185-190 lb husband.

#65 Lupe Whalewatch

  • 1,290 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 07:53 PM

QUOTE (JBill @ Nov 27 2009, 06:16 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sure. We all know what really happened. She finds out about the affair, and tries to kill him with one of his own golf clubs.


So wait, the world's number 1 golfer keeps hid golf clubs in the mud room next to the garage just like the rest of us?? go figure...

#66 dcmissle


  • SoSH Member


  • 12,809 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 08:11 PM

QUOTE (Foxy42 @ Nov 27 2009, 06:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Such a shame if he was cheating...Elin is much hotter than the woman from the deadspin link...



But we've seen this before, and quite recently at lower minors rather than ML level. Steve Phillips. The fact that it is "strange" makes it common.

Before anyone goes Judge Judy -- "largest divorce haul in history .. yada yada" -- remember two things. Prenups and perhaps more importantly, where Elin is from. People from other continents rather expect this behavior, and don't got nuts when it's manifested.

FWIW, over the summer I heard from someone loosely affiliated with the Tour that the big fella has more than one port in a storm. The fellow also said that this international icon is a prick. I didn't know whether to credit it or not and, frankly, didn't much care, as I've lived long enough not to pretend to know these people.

The National Enquirer is another story, as it nailed John Edwards cold and others before him.

#67 JBill

  • 1,944 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 08:16 PM

QUOTE
People from other continents rather expect this behavior, and don't got nuts when it's manifested.
Uh, well, kind of sounds like from the story we have so far that she didn't just shrug and accept it.

#68 Infield Infidel


  • teaching korea american


  • 8,307 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 08:57 PM

QUOTE (SemperFidelisSox @ Nov 27 2009, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And keep in mind that this happened in a 09 Cadillac Escalade, which is pretty much a fucking tank. So Woods did so much damage to the driver side door and front of the car by hitting a fire hydrant and tree that his petite 5' 5" wife smashed the back window, climbed through to the front, and pulled out her barely conscious 185-190 lb husband.
She's 5'10", not petite at all.

#69 Yaz4Ever


  • Please hire me!


  • 8,477 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 08:58 PM

Why would anyone have to smash the back window of an SUV in order to remove him if his car hit a hydrant and a tree so slowly that the air bags didn't even go off? I'm not doubting she smashed his window with a club, I'm doubting the reasoning.

#70 Monbo Jumbo


  • notices black scientists


  • 19,318 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 09:10 PM

QUOTE (Yaz4Ever @ Nov 27 2009, 08:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why would anyone have to smash the back window of an SUV in order to remove him if his car hit a hydrant and a tree so slowly that the air bags didn't even go off? I'm not doubting she smashed his window with a club, I'm doubting the reasoning.


bingo




#71 Buck Showalter


  • SoSH Member


  • 5,011 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 09:11 PM

In the weeks to come, I full expect a retraction from this silly story and a more thoughtful response that centers on the following:

"just like countless other married couples; Tiger and Elin have their share of challenges and ask that their privacy be respected during this time"...blah blah blah

or

"at 2:30 AM Tiger was en route to a Black Friday Doorbuster at Best Buy when his enthusiasm for a $197.00 laptop caused him to be distracted striking a hydrant & crashing into a large tree". blah blah blah

I'm going with the former.





#72 BucketOBalls


  • SoSH Member


  • 5,644 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 09:56 PM

QUOTE (Yaz4Ever @ Nov 27 2009, 08:58 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why would anyone have to smash the back window of an SUV in order to remove him if his car hit a hydrant and a tree so slowly that the air bags didn't even go off? I'm not doubting she smashed his window with a club, I'm doubting the reasoning.


So she chucked a club at his car causing him to smash into a tree and fire hydrant? He probably had the doors locked while driving...but you'd think his wife would have a key.

#73 Montana Fan


  • SoSH Member


  • 5,697 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 10:07 PM

"Your not going anywhere motherfucker!". Smash...golf club through the back window of the Escalade. Distracts him, he smashes up. Tiger lays off of the goomar for a few weeks.

#74 bosoxsue

  • 1,014 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 10:11 PM

QUOTE (BucketOBalls @ Nov 27 2009, 09:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So she chucked a club at his car causing him to smash into a tree and fire hydrant? He probably had the doors locked while driving...but you'd think his wife would have a key.

I'm envisioning her smashing the back window after he backed down the driveway (her screaming/chasing all the way down) and then pulled into the roadway. Smashing of window came as such a shock that he lost control. The glass trail from the Escalade will tell the tale. What's curious to me is that in the time this story was under the radar that they didn't come up with a better explanation.

Don't mess with us tall blondes, fellas.

#75 Rocco Graziosa


  • owns the lcd soundsystem


  • 11,335 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 10:18 PM

QUOTE (Montana Fan @ Nov 27 2009, 10:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
"Your not going anywhere motherfucker!". Smash...golf club through the back window of the Escalade. Distracts him, he smashes up. Tiger lays off of the goomar for a few weeks.


Video of Tiger driving last night:



Oh and by the way, if Tiger Woods is running away from his wife with a 5 iron in her hand, he's certainly compromising calling golfers athletes.

#76 Mystic Merlin


  • SoSH Member


  • 21,964 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 10:32 PM

QUOTE (Rocco Graziosa @ Nov 27 2009, 11:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Video of Tiger driving last night:



Oh and by the way, if Tiger Woods is running away from his wife with a 5 iron in her hand, he's certainly compromising calling golfers athletes.


You're right about that, those macho football players certainly handle domestic disputes in a different way!



#77 Foxy42

  • 2,800 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 10:41 PM

Some info on Rachel Ichitel, the woman that Tiger is reported to have been having an affair with...she is a professional star f*cker...

QUOTE
Rachel Uchitel has run the velvet ropes from Las Vegas to the Hamptons. Uchitel's come a long way -- she lost her fiancée in the World Trade Center attacks on 9/11, found love again, then moved on once more. After conquering so many obstacles and returning east to manage VIP action at some of the most successful clubs in New York, she has no plans to slow down.

Occupations: "I'm obsessed with work ethic and can get anything done. I'm aware of what I am good at and what I am not, and I surround myself with people to help get the job done flawlessly. Having once worked in live TV, I'm intuitive about reading people's wants and needs, and I take customer service to a whole new level. It can be difficult being a successful woman in this industry because being assertive is often misinterpreted as being a complete bitch. I take people's opinion of me personally, and that can be rough."

Case History: “After college, I worked in TV and film, which included five years as a television producer at Bloomberg News. In a random career move and a life-changing experience, I found myself living in Las Vegas to launch Tao nightclub and restaurant, which quickly became the number-one grossing venue in the world. Two years later, I was back in New York to oversee VIP operations for all of their companies and venues, such as Stanton Social, Marquee, Tao Bistro, and Dune."

Current Biz: “I’m currently director of VIP operations for Pink Elephant in Southampton. I spend my weekends at the beach with the two loves of my life—Ozzy Osbourne and Rudy Giuliani—my affenpinscher and brussels griffin. I’m back in the city during the week. In the Hamptons, I’m obsessed with Nello, Lily Pond (where the cutest guy in New York works, who I am crushing on), and of course Pink Elephant. I own a Turnberry apartment in Vegas. I love going there for long weekends when it’s not too hot out. I love Saint-Tropez and spend a few weeks there every year. The Four Seasons in Thailand (Chiang Mai) is my favorite place in the world.”


Link with Pic



#78 Chemistry Schmemistry


  • has been programmed to get funky/cry human tears


  • 7,753 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 11:01 PM

QUOTE (Buck Showalter @ Nov 27 2009, 09:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
"at 2:30 AM Tiger was en route to a Black Friday Doorbuster at Best Buy when his enthusiasm for a $197.00 laptop caused him to be distracted striking a hydrant & crashing into a large tree". blah blah blah


I think he'd object to that characterization. It's Cablinasian Friday.


#79 Buck Showalter


  • SoSH Member


  • 5,011 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 11:22 PM

QUOTE (Foxy42 @ Nov 27 2009, 10:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Some info on Rachel Ichitel, the woman that Tiger is reported to have been having an affair with...she is a professional star f*cker...


She's pretty hot...but certainly a whore.


#80 Foxy42

  • 2,800 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 11:25 PM

Oh yeah...and a 9/11 widow...this story has so many juicy angles that the tabloids and blogs will probably just leave it alone...

#81 dolomite133


  • everything I write, think and feel is stupid


  • 5,920 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 11:38 PM

Late to the party. Agreed with above. No way does she smash the back window and drag him out to "help" him.

EDIT: Logical series of events. Affair comes out. She goes nuts. Smashes him in the face with a vase (accounting for cuts and abrasions). Woods is staggered. She continues to whale on him. He staggers out to the car and attempts to pull away. The car lurches forward into the hydrant and then the tree at idling speed. His wife pursues and finishes the job, smashing the back window, dragging him out and continuing to beat him. I'm sure the inside of the house looks like a war zone from the pre accident fight.

Have fun hosting that tournament next week, Tiger! laugh.gif

Edited by dolomite133, 28 November 2009 - 12:32 AM.


#82 Foxy42

  • 2,800 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 11:54 PM

I wonder about what happened between the accident and the cops arriving to find Elin giving Tiger CPR...I bet reality set in real quick that the cops were on the way and this was going public and they came p wtb their clumsy story...



#83 Rough Carrigan


  • reasons within Reason


  • 16,817 posts

Posted 27 November 2009 - 11:57 PM

QUOTE (Mystic Merlin @ Nov 27 2009, 10:32 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You're right about that, those macho football players certainly handle domestic disputes in a different way!


When did Steve McNair play for the Chargers?

#84 cheekydave

  • 2,382 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 12:07 AM

His wife did it!

http://www.tmz.com/2...uv-lacerations/

#85 DieHardSoxFan1


  • Smarter than Theo, just ask him


  • 2,777 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 12:28 AM

I'll wager a steak dinner on the following conversation having taken place at some point today:

(phone rings)
Tiger: Hello?
Caller: Tiger, dog, it's Stu. Just wanted to see if you...
(click)

#86 dcmissle


  • SoSH Member


  • 12,809 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 12:42 AM

So with a goomah who bears a passing resemblance to Christopher Moltisanti's dearly departed, Tiger is safe from the NY tabloids for how long? Are they going to leave the field completely clear for the Enquirer's second big score in as many years? How does Tiger avoid the A-Rod treatment with "Becky" residing in the City.

This is going to put the msm in a bind, esp ESPN, which wants no part of this for a bunch of reasons.

#87 dolomite133


  • everything I write, think and feel is stupid


  • 5,920 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 12:42 AM

QUOTE (cheekydave @ Nov 28 2009, 02:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>


I love it. If TMZ is right, the mainstream media (well, at least AP) looks ridiculous.

#88 jcd0805

  • 450 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 01:01 AM

QUOTE (dolomite133 @ Nov 28 2009, 01:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I love it. If TMZ is right, the mainstream media (well, at least AP) looks ridiculous.


TMZ got Michael freakin' Jackson's death right. I'll go with their word over the AP any day.

#89 Freddy Linn


  • SoSH Member


  • 6,265 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 01:09 AM

I think Elin has been hitting the Chardonnay a little hard. That being said, Tiger could fuck a panda on the White House lawn and get away with it.

#90 Chemistry Schmemistry


  • has been programmed to get funky/cry human tears


  • 7,753 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 01:42 AM

QUOTE (dolomite133 @ Nov 28 2009, 12:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I love it. If TMZ is right, the mainstream media (well, at least AP) looks ridiculous.


Not only that, the police pretty much have to give her the Tawny Kitaen treatment.

Edited by Chemistry Schmemistry, 28 November 2009 - 01:42 AM.


#91 Talon


  • sosh's adolfo gonzalez


  • 2,514 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 02:21 AM

This is funny because I actually work in Windermere - not too far from the subdivision Tiger lives in and yes everybody from Windermere is hush hush about it. Tiger lives kind of in seclusion but plenty of people have mutual friends with Tiger and NOBODY is talking.

Theres more to this...

oh and to the commenter eariler yeah Tiger has neighbors. Shaq, Vince Carter, Ken Griffey, Mark O'Mera, Dwight Howard, Grant Hill, Johnny Damon, Warren Sapp, Justin Timberlake, Arnold Palmer - You know people who would kind of appreciate some level of privacy while living in a place where the weather is nice all year around. Funny thing is you'd assume Tiger would have the nicest house in Isleworth. He does not - that belongs to David A. Siegel - the founder & CEO of Westgate Resorts.

Edited by Talon, 28 November 2009 - 02:25 AM.


#92 SemperFidelisSox


  • suzyn


  • 10,666 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 03:05 AM

QUOTE
TMZ

We're also told Woods had said during the conversation Friday he had been taking prescription pain medication for an injury, which could explain why he seemed somewhat out of it at the scene.

So do you think the pending charges have anything to do with operating a motor vehicle under the influence of drugs? I don't know what the law is in Florida, but in some states like California they can prosecute you for driving under the influence of drugs, regardless of whether the drugs were illegal, prescription, or over-the-counter.

Edited by SemperFidelisSox, 28 November 2009 - 03:10 AM.


#93 jdubbya

  • 465 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 03:05 AM

QUOTE (Talon @ Nov 28 2009, 02:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
This is funny because I actually work in Windermere - not too far from the subdivision Tiger lives in and yes everybody from Windermere is hush hush about it. Tiger lives kind of in seclusion but plenty of people have mutual friends with Tiger and NOBODY is talking.

Theres more to this...

oh and to the commenter eariler yeah Tiger has neighbors. Shaq, Vince Carter, Ken Griffey, Mark O'Mera, Dwight Howard, Grant Hill, Johnny Damon, Warren Sapp, Justin Timberlake, Arnold Palmer - You know people who would kind of appreciate some level of privacy while living in a place where the weather is nice all year around. Funny thing is you'd assume Tiger would have the nicest house in Isleworth. He does not - that belongs to David A. Siegel - the founder & CEO of Westgate Resorts.


Thanks for clearing that up.... unsure.gif


#94 johnmd20


  • voice of soccer


  • 16,870 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 05:37 AM

QUOTE (jdubbya @ Nov 28 2009, 03:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks for clearing that up.... unsure.gif

There is no question who has the biggest house in the Windermere complex is the most important detail of this whole caper.

#95 BoredViewer

  • 2,287 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 07:52 AM

Tiger must've been hanging out with the wrong crowd....



#96 Dick Pole Upside

  • 3,415 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 09:43 AM

QUOTE (DieHardSoxFan1 @ Nov 28 2009, 12:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
(phone rings)
Tiger: Hello?
Caller: Tiger, dog, it's Stu. Just wanted to see if you...
(click)

This part of the quote made me laugh.

Maraschino cherry on the sundae would be Ellie-poo running off with Rory Sabatini...

#97 Monbo Jumbo


  • notices black scientists


  • 19,318 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 09:55 AM

TMZ account makes sense.

A pissed-off Viking woman is a badaaasss.

#98 Foxy42

  • 2,800 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 10:14 AM

Typically I find stories like this to be great but I am feeling strangely let down despite always assuming that every superstar athlete is banging every piece of strange that they can...

#99 bosockboy


  • SoSH Member


  • 7,021 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 10:48 AM

QUOTE (Foxy42 @ Nov 28 2009, 10:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Typically I find stories like this to be great but I am feeling strangely let down despite always assuming that every superstar athlete is banging every piece of strange that they can...


Strange is the most powerful force in the universe. It really, really is.

#100 dcmissle


  • SoSH Member


  • 12,809 posts

Posted 28 November 2009 - 11:18 AM

QUOTE (bosockboy @ Nov 28 2009, 10:48 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Strange is the most powerful force in the universe. It really, really is.


No question. And when you're dealing with people who are beyond its typical day-to-day consequences because they are worth hundreds of millions of dollars, it is irresistible.