It's Fenway. Fucking. Park. It's awesome. You should love being at Fenway Park. If you're at a game at Fenway Park you should be like, "Holy shit, I'm watching a ballgame at Fenway Park. This is fucking awesome! To whatever small degree, my life has turned out, at least for the moment very, very, good, beause I'm fucking watching a ballgame in Fenway fucking Park."
Most people don't get to go to ballgames at Fenway Park. Most people will never go to a ballgame in Fenway Park. And some day, nobody ever will again. And it will suck. Because there won't be any more Fenway Park and Fenway Park is awesome.
Think about Yankee Stadium. Gone. I fucking love that. Love it. Know why? Because I fucking hate the Yankees. And Yankee fans loved Yankee Stadium. Gone. HA!! The new place has the same name, but it sucks. Even for the Yankee fans it sucks. Imagine, heaven forfend, being a Yankees fan. Gone! HA!! A very close friend of mine is a Yankees fan and he's so incredibly pissed. He's also very, very happy that Fenway Park was renovated because that means it will stay open longer and he has yet t go to a game at Fenway Park. Which he wants to. Because it's Fenway Fucking Park and it's awesome.
I'm pissed off that I didn't go see Phish at Fenway this summer. I was in town and I was offered a ticket but I had already made other plans to be out of state and y'know what? I'm already pissed off. And I know I'm going to be pissed off about not going forever. And I'm pissed off about that too. Because I didn't go see Phish at Fenway Park. And I don't even listen to the band anymore. But what the fuck was I thinking?? It was Phish at Fenway Fucking Park!!!
Years ago, I brought my then girl friend to her first baseball game at--you guessed it--Fenway Park. Red Sox-Dodgers. Hottest ticket in town. Even though our seats were farther down past first base, I walked us around so that when we entered the seating area from the concession area she would see the field unfold with the Monster in the back ground and she could take it all in as the scene developed. She got chills. I got chills watching her get chills. Fenway Fucking Park! She loved it. She was hooked. The only thing she could compare it too was her conversion to Christianity. Here's the thing, though. Three weeks after she found religion, she decided that they had tricked her into it with a set of emotive experiences not unlike those used at a concert, and she quit. Long after we broke up, though, she still had a Red Sox license plate frame on her car. Fenway Fucking Park!
And I'm kind of irritated I brought her, because we broke up and someone else would have liked that ticket. Somebody out there died without seeing the Dodgers play in Fenway Fucking Park because I brought that girl. Fucking tragic. At least she now walks in the light.
My brother scored four seats for Opening Day at Fenway Park 2005. It was fucking awesome.
Could it have been more awesome? I say no. Because the 2004 season could not have been written any better, and the banner could not be unfurled any place better than Fenway Park. And we knew it would be awesome. It was so awesome, the burden of figuring out what to do with the two other tickets was itself awesome. We could invite my sister who, while not following the team in the same way, has a special place in her heart for the team. But did that mean we'd have to invite her long-time boy friend who wasn't a baseball fan? Would that be a crime? Only a privileged few would have the opportunity to be in the best possible place on the planet for those precious moments; was it right to make him one of them at the expense of someone who might cherish the experience?
We brought him. They better not fucking break up.
What is the problem with Fenway Park? It boggles my mind that people don't love that place. This isn't like music or cuisine where you might not like certain styles. This is a baseball message board. People here like baseball. People who like baseball like ballparks. And some of them don't love Fenway Park? Why? It's mildly uncomfortable in certain ways? There are SoSHers who are huge who manage. And, as per above what's a few hours mild discomfort when weighed against the opportunity to watch the Fucking Red Sox in Fenway Fucking Park. Which also as per above, is awesome!! Awesome. Versus mild discomfort for a few hours. I mean, sure, it's not like I would want to live there or anyth--
Actually, you know what? I would like to live there. I would fucking love to live in Fenway Fucking Park. Can you imagine how fucking awesome that would be? I could have a laptop and get a job where I submitted my work on line, so I wouldn't starve and I could have things I needed delivered. And I'd live in Fenway Park! I could use Manny's toilet in the monster. Shower in the locker rooms. I mean, how awesome would it be to live in Fenway Park??
Fenway Fucking Park!!
Edited by Reverend, 31 August 2009 - 12:46 AM.