The good news? This guy is back!

The Reds have had what many would call a "boring" or generally "unproductive" offseason. Proof, you ask?
Time for classic game of Good News/Bad News!
Cabrera went .252/.310/.400 in 48 games (126 PA's). He's also the greatest player named Jolbert in baseball history. Look it up!
Phillips used to play for the Yankees! This means some WEEI listeners believe he has no soul. He went .233/.300/.397 in 52 games (80 PA's)
Ramon Hernandez fills a major hole for them at catcher. They had the Bako/Ross combo last year and much like a Nazi, Paul Bako is never a good thing. But Ramon Hernandez? Seriously? He's 33 and looks like it. His OPS+ has been 88 and 86 the past two seasons and left many Oriole fans wondering last season "Who the fuck is Ramon Hernandez? He plays here? In Baltmore? Really? I mean... I pretty much stopped following the O's since Ripken left but I never even heard of this guy. You sure about this?"
Ramon Hernandez was a 2003 All-Star and went .257/.308/.406 in 133 games (507 PA's)
So what did it cost them? Ryan Freel is a nice player but he only has any value at all on avery good team. He's bst used a supersub and not one you depend on. He's always hurt and really dosen't do anything all that well. On a team like the Yankees or Red Sox or Mets, he would have real value. So where better for him to go then Baltimore? In all seriousness, I don't see the loss of Ryan Freel as a big deal. Freel went .298/.340/.359 in 48 games (143 PA's).
Turner and Waring were both in the Reds minor leagues last year and would have had little to no impact on the 2009 season.
Hey! It's a free agent signing! Hey! It's a 39 year old reliever!
In all seriousness, Rhodes fills a major hole for this team... of course it's a hole because Majewksi and Belisle were a massive combination of hurt and suck. Sadly Rhodes was mainly used as a LOOGY last year.
Majewski was a nightmare since Jim Bowden traded him knowing he was hurt. That trade may have cost Wayne Krivsky his job and Jim Bowden was forced to resign due to an embarassing and shady scandal. Hooray baseball! Majewski went 1-0, 0Sv, 6.53 ERA, 1.90 WHIP in 37 games (40 IP).
Matt Belisle is shit. Last year, he went 1-4, 7.28 ERA, 1.79 WHIP in 6 games (all starts) and 30 IP.
Last year Rhodes went 4-1, 2sv, 2.08 ERA, 1.25 WHIP in 61 games (35 IP).
Laynce Nix has managed to underwhelm and disappoint people everywhere he has gone. If Laynce Nix was a dog, he'd be nice looking dog you found at the pound and then he would constantly shit on your floor, hump your son's leg all the time and then get bone cancer and die when he was 5. Basically a waste of time.
Nix went 1 for 12 last year with the Brewers.
I actually like this move a lot. This is exactly what they should be doing. Gomes is a player who has limitless power but needs a ton of work on making contact. He's going to be 28 so this is probably his last real chance and from all accounts in Tampa, he's a good clubhouse guy.
Plus he went out with some chick at my best friend's wedding. I guess her new boyfriend is still jealous years later. I would not fuck Jonny Gomes.
Last year Gomes went .182/.282/.383 in 77 games (177 PA's). I know that looks ugly but he was bangedup and his 2005-07 showed real promise.
This is a GREAT move... if it's 2001!
What do you want me to say about this shit? They are filler at best. Jones is 34 and put up stats that a SoSHer may hav given the same number of PA's. He went .147/.239/.207 in 42 games (134 PA's) for the Tigers and Marlins. There's hope for you yet Ras!
Daryle Ward was not as bad but he did his best Jay Johnstone impression and wasted a roster spot all year by going .216/.319/.402 in 89 games (119 PA's) for the Cubs last year. He even got 3 AB's in the playoffs last year. Barring massive death or contraction, he will never play in the playoffs again.
That's the offseason folks!
Now that we covered that excercise in futility, I'll go over what lies ahead with the current roster this weekend.




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