464 replies to this topic

[Bob Montgomery's Helmet Hat]

Welcome back, Ace.

Time to kick some Texas ass.

[RedOctober3829]

Go for the division do not be satisfied with the wild card.

[Oil Can's Liver]

Let's go Beckett...keep this thing going!

[tims4wins]

[Foulkey Reese]

So we get Lowell, Casey, and Beckett all back tonight eh?

Excellent.

[Oil Can's Liver]

I just noticed Halladay is pitching at home vs. TB... This could be a very productive night if the Sox and Beckett take care of their end.

[dauber23]

I've got a tingling feeling about tonight's game....I just hope Beckett has no tingling feelings in his fingers!

Stand up and fight.

[Foulkey Reese]

"Why not us?" Rodriguez said. "We are taking it one game at a time and look at it with 15 games and see where we stand."

Now Arod has resorted to ripping off G38.

[Andrew]

Far be it from me to mess with what is working.

I am so pleased, FR, that you have regained your senses.

WEINER DOG FOULKEY REESE OH SO CUTE CUTE CUTE JUST WANT TO SQUEEZE HIS LITTLE FACE!

[sachmoney]

What are realistic expectations for Beckett tonight? Isn't he on a strict pitch count? Francona said 70-75 pitches might be too much. They know they're going to make the playoffs, the number one concern is getting Beckett healthy and ready to conquer. I'd say 4-5 innings from J-B and I'm really happy.

The offense needs to keep going. Pedroia needs to keep hitting like Pedroia, Papi needs to smoke some of what Pedroia's been smoking, and wow, first line up in a long time without suck. Lowell is back! I didn't think I'd ever be this excited for Lowell to be back! It's going to be interesting how the line up shapes up with Bay, Kotsay and Crisp. It's going to be really right hand heavy.

[jose melendez]

9/5/08--Reforming MLB

It’s time for Jose Melendez’s KEYS TO THE GAME.

1978. NINETEEN SEVENTY EIGHT. ONE… NINE… SEVEN… EIGHT.

Isn’t that what we should be hearing from the Bronx right now?

Come on guys, show some heart. It’s September, the Red Sox have a healthy lead on the Yankees; shouldn’t you guys be telling us how it’s 1978 all over again?

Please? It just doesn’t feel right without it. And it makes Jose worry that something terrible is going to happen. Jose needs you folks to tell him how the collapse is imminent, how Ron Guidry and Bucky Dent are coming to get us. Can’t you please tell Jose how Don Zimmer is going to ruin everything?

Jose knows, Jose knows. You don’t feel like you can, what with the Yankees being terrible and all, but don’t you worry what will happen if you don’t? Sure, everything COULD be fine. But will it? How do you know?

If you don’t start talking about 1978 soon, will the harvest ripen or will the locusts descend? Will we freeze in the winter or snuggle safe and secure? If you don’t start talking about it soon, Yankee Stadium may be razed to the ground. Don’t laugh; it could happen.

We don’t know, because every time the Red Sox are in playoff position at this time of year, and the Yankees aren’t, you guys start talking about 1978.

So please, for Jose, can you give it a try? Jose will get you started.

This is just like 1978. Boston choked then and they’ll choke now. They suck. The Red Sox are chokers and they always will be. They haven’t even won a World Series in almost a year. Losers.

2. When Jose went off to graduate school, the main reason he cited in these very pages was that he had simply run out of bullsh*t from his undergraduate days, and needed brand new bullsh*t to fill his intellectual gas tank. (Note: Does bullsh*t count as biodiesel?)

Three weeks in, Jose is happy to say that he is already topping off, squeezing the meter toward 00, if you will.

After just two weeks of studying global policy, Jose is prepared to offer a compelling vision of how Major League Baseball should be restructured in order to learn the essential lessons of the United Nations.

For starters, it should be apparent to anyone now, that the governing structure of baseball does not reflect the underlying power dynamic in meaningful way. One team one vote on League decisions? That’s crazy talk. What we need is a “Security Council” led by the five most powerful teams (note: Red Sox, Yankees, Cubs, Dodgers and Cardinals) who can take the lead in deciding for everyone what is best for the game. Of course, it is possible, that in 30 years the Red Sox might recognize the White Sox as the legitimate representatives of Chicago and remove the Cubs from the seat and perhaps even the league.

“But what about the small market teams?” fans in Pittsburgh and Oakland will say. “What about us?”

Well, you guys can elect a member from each of the six divisions who will get to join the Security Council, where your representative will look pretty and fetch coffee. Occasionally, they will be allowed to nod their head in agreement or say “Good idea.”

In addition, it’s not like we are going to get rid of the old MLB Board of Governors, or whatever it’s called. We’ll just strip it of all its responsibility. Do not worry; there will still be complementary lobster tails at meetings. Also, you can play a role in determining what teams get recognized as parts of the Major Leagues. For instance, if the Durham Bulls want to secede from the Rays and form their own major league club, you would get to vote on that. Of course, if you vote no, the Red Sox will just recognize the Bulls anyway, thereby stripping the Rays of a valuable source of talent. On the downside, this might prompt the Yankees to lay claim to the entire Cincinnati Reds outfield. But do not worry if you are a Reds fan. Jose is pretty sure Dick Cheney wants to give the Reds NATO membership, which is good, because Jose is absolutely prepared to fight and die to defend Corey Patterson.

But governance is not enough. Major League Baseball needs strong and vital institutions as well. They need organizations to coordinate trading policy, labor policy and environmental issues leading to the decline of the ash bat. (Note: Can the Red Sox bring that absurd Nady/Marte trade before the WTO? That’s got to violate a dumping treaty or something, doesn’t it?) Also, someone needs to order the lobster tails. To manage this formidable bureaucracy, Jose proposes that the Office of the Commissioner be abolished and replaced by the office of the Secretary General of Baseball, whose primary qualification be that he has an awesome name. (Note: Every UN Secretary General has had a cool name except Kurt Waldheim. U Thant may be the coolest name ever.) While this would make Bud Selig ineligible for the office, past commissioners like Kennesaw Mountain Landis and Bowie Kuhn would have been eligible. Jose’s recommendation for Secretary General would be Ugueth Urtain Urbina. Sure he is a dangerous criminal, but so was Kurt Waldheim. The Secretary General would be in charge of a set of bureaucracies called The Secretariat, which, Jose imagines, would be staffed entirely by horses.

Another nice thing about the new system is that baseball could implement all sorts of important rules and then not enforce them. Take the new instant replay policy. Under Jose’s proposal, if there was a home run in question, umpires could simply refuse to call it “a home run in question,” thereby making it ineligible for review… sort of… like… now.

Obviously the system is not perfect, but Jose thinks it is well worth a try. After all the United Nations has a decent track record at replacing failed Leagues.


For KEY 3, visit http://keystothegame.blogspot.com

[Foulkey Reese]

Tonight's lineups are in, and Mike Lowell returns to the Red Sox lineup for the first time since Aug. 12, when he suffered an oblique strain. Kevin Youkilis is out for a third straight game with a sore back, so Mark Kotsay will start at third base and bat in Youkilis's customary cleanup spot.

Red Sox
Ellsbury, RF
Pedroia, 2B
Ortiz, DH
Kotsay, 1B
Bay, LF
Lowell, 3B
Lowrie, SS
Varitek, C
Crisp, CF
Beckett, SP

Rangers
Arias, 2B
Young, SS
Hamilton, CF
Bradley, DH
Blalock, 1B
Byrd, LF
Cruz, RF
Laird, C
Davis, 3B
Millwood, SP

Kotsay batting 4th is a little weird, but it's nice to have Lowell back.

[TheStoryofYourRedRightAnkle]

Jose is absolutely prepared to fight and die to defend Corey Patterson.

Good line.

[jayhoz]

Kotsay is at 1st base not third Folkey

Edited by jayhoz, 05 September 2008 - 04:05 PM.

[sachmoney]

Wait, so Francona is going L-R-L-L-R-R-S-S-S? That seems out of character for him. Now I really don't understand why Bay isn't hitting clean up. Still this is probably the best line up we've had in a month, month and a half.

[Masamune42]

Wait, so Francona is going L-R-L-L-R-R-S-S-S? That seems out of character for him. Now I really don't understand why Bay isn't hitting clean up. Still this is probably the best line up we've had in a month, month and a half.

It'll be even nicer when we can replace Crisp and Ellsbury with Drew and Youks.

[sachmoney]

It'll be even nicer when we can replace Crisp and Ellsbury with Drew and Youks.

I was going to say it's probably likely that one of Crisp and Ellsbury probably play at the expense of Kotsay (most likely), but then looked at the numbers, and saw that they are decidedly not in favor of Ellsbury, and I don't even think I'm going to look at Crisp's. That's such a tremendous outfield, in terms of defensive protection.

That line up would be so deep, especially if Mr. Varitek continues to hit decently.

[RingoOSU]

Texas benching Catalanatto for this game is beyond retarded.

[Masamune42]

Texas benching Catalanatto for this game is beyond retarded.

Why? Just because his OPS is in the mid-billions against the Sox?

[soxfaninyankeeland]

Fear not. He'll likely bat with the bases loaded in the 8th against MDC.

[TheoShmeo]

Why? Just because his OPS is in the mid-billions against the Sox?

So will the Rangers have the presence of mind to take a few pitches tonight given that Beckett is on a 60-70 pitch count?

Edited by TheoShmeo, 05 September 2008 - 05:41 PM.

[PedroSpecialK]

So will the Rangers have the presence of mind to take a few pitches tonight given that Beckett is on a 60-70 pitch count?

I would think so. As a team, they're tied for 4th in the AL in isoD

[Todd Benzinger]

I was going to say it's probably likely that one of Crisp and Ellsbury probably play at the expense of Kotsay (most likely), but then looked at the numbers, and saw that they are decidedly not in favor of Ellsbury, and I don't even think I'm going to look at Crisp's. That's such a tremendous outfield, in terms of defensive protection.

That line up would be so deep, especially if Mr. Varitek continues to hit decently.

Coco has good numbers against LHP, Kotsay. & Ells have bad ones, so some kind of semi-platoon would be good.

Also, Youk is out for personal reasons not for Back issues.

A bit odd to play Kotsay at 1B over Casey, if Casey is truly available tonight (he says it's great to be back and he's 100%).

Maybe Tito does hate him? At least he didn't work Cora into the lineup.

[Foulkey Reese]

Kotsay is at 1st base not third Folkey

What are you on crack?

[LahoudOrBillyC]

Baseball is not just hitting. Ellsbury is a better player for this team than Kotsay, and will still play when Drew returns.

[Todd Benzinger]

Baseball is not just hitting. Ellsbury is a better player for this team than Kotsay, and will still play when Drew returns.

Agreed. I don't want Kotsay at CF, but in sorting out which two of three to play when, I want Coco in against LHP.

[Rooster Crows]

Time to rock and roll Josh - let's see what you've got. Good luck, kick ass and may your offense be plentiful and your pitches effective! Good to have you back (I hope).

GO SOX - WIN TODAY!

[fletcherpost]

Kotsay is at 1st base not third Folkey

Foulkey is strictly the office temp when it comes to this line up stuff. he's not had the proper training, just been thrown in at the deep end...I think he's doing okay...but is the other guy on holiday or something?

[sachmoney]

Foulkey is strictly the office temp when it comes to this line up stuff. he's not had the proper training, just been thrown in at the deep end...I think he's doing okay...but is the other guy on holiday or something?

But didn't he get it right today with no edits?

[Foulkey Reese]

I fucking nailed it today.

[LahoudOrBillyC]

I fucking nailed it today.

Read the paragraph that you wrote that precedes your lineup.

[Foulkey Reese]

Read the paragraph that you wrote that precedes your lineup.

Foiled again.

Fucking Globe.

[Andrew]

zippidee doo da zippidee aye my o my what a wonderful day

[sachmoney]

Foiled again.

Fucking Globe.

Hey, I didn't notice. I grant you magic sanctuary.

[OCD SS]

Corsiworld:

Kevin Youkilis is away from the Red Sox due to a personal matter back in Boston.

Youkilis is expected to rejoin the club tomorrow. The back spasms that caused him to miss two games have supposedly let up, so he should be ready to play once he returns.

[OilCanShotTupac]

My goals for the evening are modest. I want to watch this game and see the Red Sox win it.

[Masamune42]

My goals for the evening are modest. I want to watch this game and see the Red Sox win it.

I believe those to be fair goals. Mine are slightly more ambitious. I wish to see our enemies crushed as well.

[Foulkey Reese]

Good old Jacoby 2 pitch

[Masamune42]

Ellsbury out on two pitches to start a game. Never seen that before.

[Foulkey Reese]

He just won't stop.

[Obscure Name]

Foolish mortal, thinking you can catch a ball hit by Pedroia.

[Lars The Wanderer]

The Midget is unstoppable.

[NYCSox]

I brought my glasses for the laser show.

[Masamune42]

I think that was a trap anyways.

[OilCanShotTupac]

Wows all around.

Wow that Pedroia hit that so hard.

Wow that Byrd got to it.

Wow that the glove came off. I actually think it might have stayed on long enough to rule it a catch.

BTW, Byrd is hurt.

[dbn]

My goals for the evening are modest. I want to watch this game and see the Red Sox win it.

My goals were to see JE see more than one pitch, then a laser-show-celebration for his accomplishment.

Done.

[Obscure Name]

I fully expect Pedroia to steal home.

[Masamune42]

I fully expect Pedroia to steal home.

With or without knocking out the catcher after stealing?

[PedroSpecialK]

With or without knocking out the catcher after stealing?

Dude, the catcher won't have time to get out of his crouch.

[Foulkey Reese]

That kind of sucked.