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Opening Ceremony game thread


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254 replies to this topic

#51 Razor Shines

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:12 PM

What if it had rained today in Beijing? That would have been a kick in the nuts.

Can they close the Goatse Dome?

fake edit: right on cue, there's the "Conquering the Earth" portion of the ceremony.

#52 Orange Julia


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:13 PM

Sarah Brightman looks like she's either stoned, made of wax or both.

#53 DannyHeep


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:14 PM

Are OJ and I the only ones who DIDN'T order Chinese tonight?

It's like friggin New Year's Eve around here.


We tried a new place, it was outstanding.

#54 SoxScout


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:15 PM

This singer looks like Audrina Patridge's ugly sister

#55 Orange Julia


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:16 PM

are those pics kids who were adopted out of china because of their one kid only law?

#56 Byung-Hyun Fun

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:16 PM

What if it had rained today in Beijing? That would have been a kick in the nuts.


They ensured it wouldn't rain.

http://www.canada.co...88-ba507948a389

They will conquer the weather, then the world.

#57 Orange Julia


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:17 PM

What are all those fireworks doing to air quality now?!

#58 Uncle Mumford

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:18 PM

What if it had rained today in Beijing? That would have been a kick in the nuts.


After this display, I'm quite certain these people could figure out how to manipulate the weather if they wanted to.

#59 Candy LaChance


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:18 PM

Are OJ and I the only ones who DIDN'T order Chinese tonight?

It's like friggin New Year's Eve around here.

Buffalo wings. Extra spicy, extra well done. Extra extra.

#60 DannyHeep


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:18 PM

are those pics kids who were adopted out of china because of their one kid only law?


They are the kids of their vanquished opponents.

#61 Razor Shines

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:18 PM

What are all those fireworks doing to air quality now?!

Improving it.

#62 Guinevere

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:18 PM

I thought they wanted it to rain -- it clears the smoggy air and washes away some of the pollution. Some of the live shots from earlier this evening looked terrible -- all grey and misty/foggy. The poor athletes, especially in the endurance sports. The cycling is tomorrow, 150 miles in crap air. Oy.

#63 PayrodsFirstClutchHit

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:21 PM

China: Puts on a display that would make the ancient Egyptians envious.

USA: New episodes of Earl.

#64 Candy LaChance


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:21 PM

I hear they're going to bring the Tibetan athletes in on a wire.

#65 Pumpsie


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:21 PM

That's exactly why they put this on.


Well, you'd be a fool not to agree with this assessment. It's like a superior civilization has landed. Just an awesome display of technology, artistry, synchronization, and skill.

We're fucked.

#66 Candy LaChance


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:22 PM

Well, you'd be a fool not to agree with this assessment. It's like a superior civilization has landed. Just an awesome display of technology, artistry, synchronization, and skill.

We're fucked.


One really can say that the world has never seen anything like this before. 25 years from now (7 1/2?) we're going to be the ones sitting painting the Easter bunnies with watering cans that end up in the Christmas Shit Shops.

Edited by Candy LaChance, 08 August 2008 - 08:24 PM.


#67 Orange Julia


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:22 PM

Well, you'd be a fool not to agree with this assessment. It's like a superior civilization has landed. Just an awesome display of technology, artistry, synchronization, and skill.

We're fucked.

Hey, we had Mitt Romney!

#68 MyDaughterLovesTomGordon

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:24 PM

Laura Bush looks like the Joker. That smile is fucking creepy.

#69 gtg807y

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:24 PM

I saw a guy I know in the Turkey delegation walking in. That was kinda cool. He's a swimmer.

#70 Orange Julia


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:24 PM

those little cheerleader girls must be getting kind of tired...

#71 Razor Shines

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:24 PM

Turkey has some good looking birds.

#72 Orange Julia


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:25 PM

People LIVE on Madagascar?

#73 Candy LaChance


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:26 PM

Where in the world

is Matt Lauer talking about?

#74 DJnVa


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:26 PM

One of the chicks from the Maldives (Maldivian?) was hot.

#75 PayrodsFirstClutchHit

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:27 PM

Lauer: Like anyone knows where Borneo is?

Nice reference.

#76 Orange Julia


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:27 PM

If it is so freaking hot there, why is everyone wearing sweaters and suits?

#77 Ahriman


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:27 PM

Way to TMZ up the Olympics there, Matt. Fuckface.

#78 MyDaughterLovesTomGordon

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:29 PM

I know this is a stupid question, but if this whole thing happened 12 hours ago, why don't we get to see it in its entirety. Why do they cut parts out when they go to commercial? Why don't they just start back up where they left off?

#79 Uncle Mumford

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:29 PM

They should make the athletes compete in these get-ups.

#80 Orange Julia


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:30 PM

I know this is a stupid question, but if this whole thing happened 12 hours ago, why don't we get to see it in its entirety. Why do they cut parts out when they go to commercial? Why don't they just start back up where they left off?

i don't know but i was looking forward to the part where the maoists beat everyone with violins and books and chalkboards...and i think that must have been cut during a commercial.

#81 PayrodsFirstClutchHit

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:32 PM

Has anyone determined the marching order?

It's like a chinese fire drill.

#82 Lars The Wanderer

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:32 PM

i don't know but i was looking forward to the part where the maoists beat everyone with violins and books and chalkboards...and i think that must have been cut during a commercial.


You forgot the abacus beatings.

Edited by Lars The Wanderer, 08 August 2008 - 08:32 PM.


#83 Sille Skrub

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:32 PM

Are you guys seriously using the Olympic Opening Ceremony as an indicator that the United States is doomed?

Should I move to Canada?

#84 Guinevere

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:33 PM

Has anyone determined the marching order?

It's like a chinese fire drill.


Based on number of lines in the chinese character representing the country.

So, chinese fire drill exactly.

#85 Razor Shines

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:34 PM

Does Chinese Taipei get booed?

#86 DannyHeep


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:35 PM

While we watch fighter planes are taking down California.

Bush and McCain have a deal with the Chinese for them to occupy California during the election so their electoral votes don't count.

#87 Uncle Mumford

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:36 PM

Who the fuck are the people from Eritrea waving to? No one from there could afford a ticket, or afford a TV to watch, and no one from China gives a shit that they're there.

#88 Orange Julia


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:36 PM

the central african republic is a republic in central africa? nice.

#89 MyDaughterLovesTomGordon

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:38 PM

I like how Costas condescends toward every African nation, especially their "costumes". Could you be more Ameri-centric? Like Polo shirts and khakis are "normal"?

#90 PayrodsFirstClutchHit

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:40 PM

Ukraine looks weak.

#91 DJnVa


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:41 PM

Nice shorts on Denmark. Were those Levis?

Edited by DJnVa, 08 August 2008 - 08:41 PM.


#92 gtg807y

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:41 PM

The Ukraine is not WEAK! The Ukraine is STRONG!

#93 DJnVa


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:42 PM

The Ukraine is not WEAK! The Ukraine is STRONG!


Not all parts: http://en.wikipedia....rypiat,_Ukraine

#94 Uncle Mumford

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:42 PM

I can only imagine what Al Czervik would have had to say about Ukraine's choice of attire.

#95 DJnVa


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:43 PM

OH FUCK BRUNEI PULLED OUT!!!!

#96 gtg807y

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:43 PM

Not all parts: http://en.wikipedia....rypiat,_Ukraine


Yeah, I suppose not. I only know what I learned from that one episode of Seinfeld.

#97 Foxy42

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:43 PM

The Sultan of Brunai...the world needs more czars and sultans...

#98 DJnVa


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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:44 PM

How many trannies are there on the Brazilian team?

#99 gtg807y

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:44 PM

Robert Schiedt is holding the flag for Brazil. Say, Robert, what line of work was your grandfather in? I'm guessing he had Teutonic origins.

#100 Razor Shines

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 08:45 PM

The drums appropriately playing "ba-donk-a-donk" while the Brazilians walk in.